It's Halloween today, although once you get past the trick-or-treat age it really doesn't have much meaning. Basically for me, today means that I have an exam tomorrow, which kinda scares me as I haven't sat a history exam for about a year. I know that I really shouldn't be that worried, because I have already passed the paper even without the exam and I know the course well enough to do really well, but there's still always a little tingle of fear and apprehension when you have an exam the next day. I would probably be worried if there wasn't, because then it would seem that exams weren't a big deal and I wouldn't be properly focused. I have really good exam technique - once I get in the room I seem to manage to remember things that I wouldn't be able to at any other time, it brings out the best in me.

It's the end of the month, which means that my whole page needs a bit of a clean-up, by going through all the pages and adding links while cleaning out any unneccessary things that have appeared. October 2002 has been an interesting month for my life, and for this page. I've done really well in the essays I have written lately and that is a really great way to finish off my university career, while this science scholarship has appeared as the way I am going to pay for my laptop without having to get myself into massive debt. Me and Nats have had an OK month, things have worked pretty well most of the time although there is always that feeling that we are one step away from a massive argument all the time. I know that if you never have any arguments you end up taking each other for granted and that can lead to a crappy relationship, but it just seems that something little keeps setting off arguments which are all out of proportion to what has set them off. Obviously that is related to the fact that issues are going unresolved, but it's still disappointing how easily things screw up.

I felt really short today on my way to university, I don't know whether it was the heat, my slight light-headedness, or what but the ground seemed a lot closer than normal. Does anyone else experience these times of feeling shorter than normal???

I've joined a gym, and although it's not a 'me' thing, hopefully it will give Nats some motivation to go to the gym, as there will be someone there as well, and it might just improve my general fitness level. It's something new and different, and will hopefully be worth the $20 a week that I'm paying to go there.

I'm so tired today, and although I feel much better than I did on the weekend it's clear that I'm not back to 100% OK. My energy levels just aren't there (probably doesn't help that I'm not getting enough sleep), and if I walk around for a while, or get stuck in any place without good fresh air I feel all light-headed and faint. I might just need to drink more, get the fluids back which I probably lost quite badly on the weekend while I was being sick, so that my energy levels are back to normal when my exam on Friday comes around. Nats unfortunately hasn't really recovered as quickly as I have, and there seems to be some kind of nervous system problem as she's getting all these sharp pains in her back, neck and head all the time as well as having her arm go dead once in a while. This is probably not a good thing, but she went to the doctor and got another three days off work so hopefully everything will clear itself up by the start of next week.

Ha! Just as I think that I'm all done with university for the semester I find myself back here.... of course I was jumping the gun a little bit, as I have two exams to study for. One on Irish History and the other a Human Geography paper called 'Population, Health and Society'. They shouldn't be too difficult (I hope), as there is a fair amount of flexibility in the exam structure, and I have been smart enough to go to every single lecture this semester which means that I don't have any gaps which I have to work around.

I had one of those strange 'moments' when I got on the bus this morning and we were just about to go over the Harbour Bridge into the city. I was listening to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, which is an incredibly good song and one of my favourites ever, it was such a nice day and it felt good to be going back to university after a four day break. I felt a little shiver run up my spine, a 'this is pretty cool' feeling which I get from time to time, but not really that frequently.

Now what makes a song one of your top favourites ever? In the past I have listed my favourite 20 songs of all time, and it makes me wonder what is it about these songs (which should now include A Thousand Miles, and probably a couple of other songs that have come out since April) that sets them above the rest. I guess that the top three or four must have had an impact upon my life, in a good way and therefore mean something to me more than just a song. "Iris", by the Goo Goo Dolls, is my favourite song of all time because the words seem to express my feelings perfectly. The whole notion of under-reacting and not being able to express feelings that you have has seemingly haunted me throughout my life, and although I know the song was written for City of Angels it seems to apply to my life. Other songs must have the ability for you to listen to them again and again without getting sick of the song (sorry Atomic Kitten and Kylie Minogue), an attribute which A Thousand Miles most definately has. It's also one song that I can describe as being 'beautiful', which is probably not the most common term used to describe a piece of modern music (you probably wouldn't call Linkin Park's music beautiful, even though for what it is, it's pretty good).

University's all finished, and I did get a little tingle of excitement on Thursday afternoon when my history lecture finished. It's been a long journey to my degree, and although it's not quite finished yet the end is in sight and I will have a degree!

Since then things haven't been that great, the bug that was going around got to Nats on Saturday and then to myself on Saturday night which was not very pleasant. So I spent all that night being sick and not being able to sleep at all, and then yesterday still feeling very feverish. It did mean that I had a fairly relaxing weekend, but even then I was still wishing like hell that I felt better. Luckily this morning everything cleared up and I feel pretty good - very fortunate since I have an exam this Friday and I really didn't want to be sick while studying.

All in all it meant that the weekend seemed to take forever, Thursday now seems like forever ago and going back to university to study tomorrow is going to almost feel like going back after quite a lengthy holiday. This was probably exaccerbated by watching Bicentennial Man, which is one of those movies spanning hundreds of years (similar to A.I. in many ways) and was actually far better than I thought it would be. Maybe it's just something about robotic movies, and how the division between the human and the non-human will become increasingly complex in the future, but that type of plot I really do find fascinating.

I was rather worried yesterday, because the application form for my scholarship said that you needed to be enrolled in a BSc or other Science degree to be eligible for it. Fortunately, today I got it cleared with the geography department that I am still eligible. All my hopes of getting a laptop before the middle of next year, and being involved in some interesting research over the holidays have been restored - it's quite a relief I must say. Now I can stop worrying about the future, and concentrate on the fact that I have an exam in a week's time! Hey, that's worrying about the future - God I'm bad at this!

But anyway, it's my very last day of University today, unless you count the upcoming exams. It's been three bloody years since I was at school, in some ways it seems like a lifetime ago (it almost is when you consider how much my life has changed since then), but in others it really doesn't seem like such a distant memory, sitting down to write my bursary physics exam. Things have changed (as I just said), especially in the last year as I have (finally) left that life behind and moved on with things.

I don't know how I will look back at university, I know that I've said in the past that I could have got a lot more out of it. Other people around me always seem to be having an awesome time with lots of friends, while it really has been a pretty lonely three years for me. Maybe I'm being negative here, and I guess it could have been a lot worse for me - as I have kept up pretty good grades and not failed anything. I doubt that I will look back at university as a lost opportunity in 20 years time, but maybe I will think that things could have been better than they were. Yet I already knew before I started that it would be tough getting a whole new bunch of friends and going to a university with 27,000 students after being at a school with 650 - where I knew every single 7th former by name. Obviously I'm not finished yet with studying, I am going to embark on a Masters Degree at the start of 2004, and maybe even a PhD (unlikely, but who knows?) So I'm not finished with university quite yet, and that seems to me as being a good thing.

Nats and I have (sort of) decided that it might be better going to Australia at a later date next year, maybe during June, July or August. This means we have more time to save, which will probably be necessary after I splash out $4000 for a laptop (hey, the scholarship money - so long as I get it). I think that this is a good idea, as there's no point paying all that money to get to Australia and then having to worry that you're going to run out of money, and therefore not be able to enjoy yourself.

Only one more day of university for me, as today I had my last geography lecture for over a year, and tomorrow I'll have my last ever history lecture (unless I end up doing some sort of Post-Grad history diploma or something like that). But it's kinda exciting, finally finishing off this massive project which I set out upon almost three years ago. I even remember sitting outside my maths lecture on my first ever day of university wondering what the hell I was getting myself into, actually I also think that I was trying to find someone to talk to so that I didn't feel like such a lonely dork. It seems such a long time ago....

I got an A- for my research project, which is pretty good, although it would have been great not to have that annoying little - sign at the end of it. But I'm still pretty happy with it, and I might even still end up with an A for the paper because the rest of my coursework has been of a pretty high standard. It will be REALLY close though I think.

I've had to temporarily disable my 3D backgrounds page because it was chewing up way too much bandwidth, and I was scared that might lead to my entire site being disabled by Angelfire. I guess what I shall try to do is put my backgrounds site on a website of its own, so that if the bandwidth goes insane it's only that page which suffers and not the rest of my website. I only hope that Angelfire won't throw a spazz at me for doing that!

I've found out that the whole $4000 scholarship is paid out as soon as you start working on the project, which gives me the chance to buy my lap-top without having to borrow the money from a finance company - which means that hopefully I'll be able to save thousands of dollars in interest. It's not really assured that I will get the scholarship, but Nats and the geography lecturer I am talking to about the project seem fairly confident.

Although my way of paying for the laptop seems to be working itself out, the actualy computer I'm going to buy is still up in the air as there are doubts about whether Excel will offer good support for their machines, which appear to be much cheaper than any other models. But I don't exactly want them to be another Gateway who are no longer operating in New Zealand, meaning that if your computer stuffs up you're fucked. There's always Dell who have excellent service and support for their machines, but also charge about $300 more for an inferior machine in the range I am looking at. If anyone knows much about Excel Laptops could they please let me know (I think they're known as "iBuddy" in the States), as I'm not quite sure whether I should trust them.

I had my last lecture for Geography 305 today, where the lecturer tried to pretend that he was giving us good clues about the exam but actually told us nothing more than "it'll be similar to last year's exam". Oh well, at least when I look at the questions from last year's exam they don't seem like gobble-di gook. But I can tell that I'm goign to need to study quite a lot in order for me to understand what's going on, and to be able to write three good essays in my exam.

I find out my mark for my 50% research assignment tomorrow......... Panic!

Sorry about the incredibly short posts on Saturday, but I didn't really have time to say anything but I thought that a couple of things needed to be communicated so I made it short and sweet. Back to something rather more substantial today!

It's the last week of university! I'm not quite sure if this is a good thing yet, I know that at the end of my first year of uni I was so happy that the semester was ending that halfway through my final exam the only real thought going through my mind was "how can I get this done as soon as possible?" Funnily enough I actually did really well in that exam. Last year I think I was pretty happy about it being the end of my exams, at that time my life was going through huge amounts of change so I remember thinking that at least this would be one less thing to worry about. But this year I don't know if I'm quite so looking forward to it being the end of university, because I've actually quite enjoyed it this semester. There have been essays, but not too many at once, and I've even got to know quite a few of my classmates through the fieldtrip I had. So even though it will be nice to complete my degree - and I'm pretty excited about that - I don't know if I'm really looking forward to the holidays themselves.

The last week has been really quiet, all my essays were finished by about Wednesday last week, so there hasn't really been that much to do. I know that I should be getting started on my study for exams, but it's a little bit difficult because you haven't been told exactly what the exam topics are going to be and you're not quite sure where to start.

However it has been quite a nice respite after the rather insane weeks between the mid-semester break at the start of last week, and I have been able to write some quality essays this semester rather than the "just got to turn it out quickly so I can get on to the next one" kind that were so frequent last semester. Hopefully this bodes well for some excellent marks, so I can finish my degree on a high note.

It seems like I've been immersed in HTML over the past few days, helping Natalie's cousin Ben develop his web-page and then Nats working on her blog template last night. I know HTML is completely logical and if something doesn't work you know that it's because you've stuffed up, sometimes it's completely counter-intuitive and the slightest little glitch can screw the whole thing up, which is rather ANNOYING!

Happy Birthday Ella! My little sister turning 17 today - scary!

The backgrounds page is finally working.... Yay!

It's been a fairly eventful morning, as when we arrived at Nats' work at 6:30 the alarm was going off and all the lights were on - but nobody was there. Eventually we managed to get in, although it's still anyone's guess why the alarm went off. Then Nats spilled the Frappucino mix all over herself and the floor (very sticky stuff), and a light just fell off the roof onto the floor. But eventually the open got done, with a little bit of help from myself, and hopefully they're coping alright.

It looks like getting my laptop might not be as far away as I thought it was going to be, as Digicom have some prices that destroy those of anyone else. Nats thinks that these might just be a special, which is entirely possible, and therefore we should get in as quickly as possible. They're selling a Compaq 2GHz with awesome specs for about $4200 including GST, which is probably the pick of the bunch at the moment.

I've finished every last little bit of my coursework for this year, and it's a pretty nice feeling knowing that I don't have to worry about any more essays or assignments.... only exams! But they seem to be reasonably far off (about 2 weeks away! God! Panic!) Anyway, it's a nice feeling not having to worry about my essays, even if exams are a lot closer than I thought they were. After today I'll only have one more week of lectures, which is pretty cool I think.

I got an A+ for my Easter Rising Essay which I'm pretty stoked about, because it's the first time that I've ever got an A+ for a coursework essay. Even though I got an A+ last year for Environmental Geography, that was because I nailed the exam, rather than because I got an A+ for any of the coursework. Interestingly, it's probably the last university history essay I will ever write (apart from the ones in my upcoming exam) so I guess it's a good way of going out.

It's strange how my news page/blog has developed - reading through the entries from the start of last year I seemed to just be describing briefly the main events of my life, then it switched to a place where I could tell people about my life Philosophy, (as my Philosophy Page has been rather ignored), and eventually it's become more of a blog where I comment on things that are happening in the world while also letting people know in a bit more depth what's going on in my weird little life. When I started my news page (as it was back then), I don't know if I ever thought that it would end up like this, I had just been reading the news page of a chat friend and thought it was a pretty cool idea. Last year, and the start of this year, I often ignored it for ages - but lately I've been doing pretty well keeping it up to date every day during the week and sometimes at the weekends.

A while back I was a bit sceptical whether I would be able to keep my page up during the holidays - as I almost always update it when I'm at university and ignored the page horribly over the Christmas holidays last year and early this year. But as it seems I might actually have a computer in the not-so-distant future, I shouldn't have any reason not to update it every day whenever I like - keeping everyone nice and up-to-date with the tidings of my life. In saying that, I don't know how much there will be to say as it seems I'll be spending the next six months of my life working fulltime at McDonald's unless I decide to go for the Science Scholarship I mentioned yesterday and manage to get accepted. But who knows what the future holds.... it always seems to surprise you no matter what!

I had work this morning, which kinda tired me out, but was good because it means that I'm finally going to have some money when I eventually get paid next week. Lately I've hardly been working at all, because of all my research assignments, and although this has meant that I've been able to give them my full attention, it's also meant that my bank account has suffered rather badly. Exams and the end of semester aren't that far away, and university feels kinda weird at the moment - like it's the end of something that never really seemed to start, and you're not really sure whether to be feeling good about it (prospect of not having to worry about handing in essays), or whether it's actually a bad thing (working at McDonald's fulltime over the next six months isn't really that appealing).

There may be an interesting solution to the situation above, as the Science Department are offering 100 $4000 study scholarships to students who conduct research projects with a supervisor over 10 weeks during the holidays. There are a few doubts I have though, as I'm not sure how I could work it around staying at McDonald's part-time or whether I'm going to be so sick and tired of university that the last thing I'll want is to be here over the holidays, even if I'm getting paid for it. But I guess I might as well find out more about it, and see if there is some sort of topic that I would be really interested in doing - and it could be an interesting and profitable way to spend my holidays rather than slaving over a hot grill at McDonald's. Who knows.....

My research project is completely finished and handed in, which means that one paper is totally out of the way and I only have to worry about the other two. With a 60% and a 40% exam coming up things shouldn't be too bad, and before you know I'll be completely finished by November 8th. It will be strange reflecting back on three years of university that in some ways seem to have disappeared in a flash, while in others seem to have taken an eternity. I'll get around to writing more on my feelings about finishing such a stage in my life when I can get my thoughts a little bit straighter.

It's bloody freezing here in Auckland today! By the middle of October you would normally expect the weather to have warmed up a little bit, but instead we get a nasty little cold snap to remind us all that winter isn't finished yet. At least it's not too windy today, which means that we'll hopefully get some America's Cup racing.

I'm going to fix my 3D backgrounds page eventually, it just seems at the moment whenever I think I have the chance to upload the big files to my webpage, there's something else which needs to be done. Hopefully it won't take too long, and I'll have it done by the end of the week at the latest.....

Once again the world has been shaken by terrorism and it just doesn't seem to have an end. Couple this with the ship that blew up last week, and the snipers in the US you begin to wonder if the world has gone mad. It also makes me wonder whether any of these 'anti-terrorism' policies are actually working. Sure, Indonesia were probably being a bit naive by not taking extra precautions, but would it really have made a difference? It seems that when we are questioning further terrorist activity, we wonder not 'if', not even 'when', but only 'where'? In many ways this is a guerilla warfare campaign by the terrorists, and hopefully everyone learned from Vietnam that you can't fight a normal war against this kind of enemy, you have to be smart.

The US is not being very smart at the moment, in fact they know quite clearly that if they attack Iraq it's only going to lead to even more terrorism, maybe that's what Bush wants? I would have liked to have known his chances at becoming a 2 term president if September 11th hadn't happened, and now it seems like a formality the war-hungry US public will vote him in again. He should send Osama a Christmas card. If you think I'm being cynical, haven't you seen this movie?

Back at university for the week, and it's my second-to-last week here for about a year and a half. I know that a time will come on Thursday next week at the end of my history lecture when I'll be able to say "hey.... that was the last lecture of my degree". I guess I'm pretty fortunate to be confident that I will pass all my papers so I won't have to do Summer School. University has gone much better in the second semsester of this year, for a multitude of reasons. For a start there was one less paper for me to do, and there is a huge difference between doing three and four papers in a semester! Secondly I have worked on the weekends and not only during the week, which has meant that I've had way more time to study for all my assignments, and not only having a little gap on Thursday afternoon to get everything done. Thirdly, either the papers have been more interesting or I've just been more 'into' it this semester - I know for a while in the first semester university just seemed to be a complicating factor for the rest of my life. Instead, this time around I've been keen to get into my assignments, interested in my lectures and just more 'into' it.

We're still a little bit undecided about Australia next year, the events of the past week have thrown me a little bit off track - but now that seems to have cleared up, Nats and I should be able to get back to some planning for our trip to Australia.

I've found what looks like some incredibly good deals on laptops lately, it seems as though every month a computer with the same specifications comes down by about $500 in price. The latest offering is a 2.4 GHz Pentium 4 processor, 256 MB DDR RAM, CDRW-DVD combo drive and a 20GB hard drive.... it's incredibly good value in my opinion at NZ$3150+GST. Just a pity I don't have the money at the moment, but on the other hand by the time I do have the money I'll probably be able to get a much better computer for a much cheaper price!

I've finally finished by big assignment - all 7,000 words of it (if you include the references and the public summary which are kinda separate), and stretched to about 28 pages which is rather HUGE! I must say that I'm fairly happy with it, I wrote a really good literature review and I think that I answered my question rather well, although I could have had some more in-depth and individual results. But oh well, it's done and that's the main thing. The last piece of coursework I'll ever have to do for my Bachelors Degree, now all I need to worry about are my two exams and I'll be totally finished!

Somehow things have managed to sort themselves out in the past few days. I get the feeling that what happened last week was the result of things not being as bad as they have been, but me still acting as though things were still bad. That probably makes no sense, but consider when you get hurt you often shut yourself off from the rest of the world (at least I do), and you do the job far too well. So when things are actually going well you don't seem to be able to adjust, as you're still trying to protect yourself from getting hurt when you should be enjoying the good times of life.

Maybe things aren't turning into a big, giant mess - they're just readjusting themselves? It seems at the moment like everything and anything turns into a giant argument at the drop of a hat, but that it's completely different to how arguments normally are - because it's not really anger - it's just feelings that are getting hurt. I don't seem to know what to do, because every step I take seems to be one in the wrong direction. I hate making Nats feel this bad, but I can't seem to be able to do anything else.

I always seem to wonder who I am, like I've been pretending to be someone else for most of my life and because of it I don't really know who's me and what I stand for. I know that one of the greatest appeals of internet chat to me was the fact that I didn't have to be someone else anymore, I didn't have to be shy and I could say what I wanted to say without being embarrassed about what might happen or afraid of starting an argument or upsetting someone. Because you can always just leave the chat room or hit 'ignore'. When I think about that I wonder whether that was me, was that my chance to be myself because I was able to act in any way I chose? But on the other hand, was it really the chance for me to actually be someone else because I didn't like who I was. Is internet chat the perfect opporunity to be yourself for once, or is it the perfect opportunity to not be yourself, and to be someone else? I really don't know.....

I know that I like being good at things - call me a perfectionist or a control freak (of myself), but there's something about being good at something which I really, really like. The fact that I'm good at working at McDonald's is probably the one thing that has kept me there for almost three years, the fact that I was good at cricket had a lot to do with why I enjoyed playing it so much, and the fact that I'm (reasonably) good at academic stuff is what makes university so appealing to me.

Ugh, it feels like my life is once again turning into a big mess. Everything seems to be happening at once - as always seems to happen - and it's all just getting too much. I feel like I'm growing up too quickly at times, that my whole life is just flashing before my eyes at a huge speed and I want to scream out "hey.... wait for me!" I don't seem to know where I'm going, or be going anywhere in particular for that matter. I'm so incredibly tired I just want to lay my head down on a desk and nod off to sleep, while I also know that I really should be spending my time working on my research assignment so I feel guilty about everything else that I do.

I still haven't had the opportunity to fix my backgrounds page - and I'm not even sure that I still have all the photos that were there backed up on Nats' Hard Drive. Through various formats, backups and reinstallations some things always seem to get lost, but I'll try to find as many of them as I can. Probably what I'll do, since Angelfire got shitty at me for linking to another site, is select the better pictures (or the ones that are still there), and only have them - because having them all uploaded takes up most of the space on my site, which is needed for my daily ravings.

Things should be better next week, I'll have a lot less stress on me once I've finished this research assignment and maybe then I'll be able to start sorting out the rest of my life. It's kinda crappy as I was just thinking that things had been better in the past few weeks, and that I had got over feeling like crap.

The good old Catholic Church warning against the use of contraception..... I guess we all know why they want lots of children to be born. Hmmmmmm......

After so much news yesterday it seems like there's very little to write this morning. I guess that's what happens when I don't write anything over the weekend.

But anyway, I spent most of yesterday working on my migration project for geography - it's coming along slowly, although there are still some pretty big holes that need to be filled. I have a good idea of "what the inter-regional migration patterns in the Hawke's Bay" are, I just need to get a better idea about why they exist - the important part of the project. Hopefully by Thursday at the latest I will be able to start writing it, and god knows how long it's going to take for me to type out all 5,000 words! There seems to be very little information on the topic, which may be a good thing as it does mean that my research is rather ground-breaking, it just makes it that much more difficult though. Since it's the biggest piece of work I would have done right throughout my university career so far, I want to make it something that I'm proud of and something that I can look back upon and go "wow.... did I really do that?"

The end of university seems so close and yet so far away. Maybe it's because part of me will be happy to have completed my degree while some other part will probably miss the university life. I know that I've said that university has hardly been the happiest years of my life and has actually turned out to be a rather lonely time in some ways, there's something soothing about immersing yourself in academia. The feeling that even if everything else is going wrong in your life, you can find peace in the books and take yourself away from reality and into another world of discovery and learning. Maybe I just like learning stuff?

Angelfire has 'disabled' my 3D backgrounds because of some breach of the terms of service. I'm rather annoyed as this means I'm going to have to upload them all again - I guess I should be thankful that they disabled that part of the page and not this part, which has all of my blog entries from the last 2 years, and would be rather disastrous to lose.

A few sporting results as it has been an interesting weekend. The Warriors lost, which is sad - although they did incredibly well to get to the grand final. They'll be back, next year the team will hopefully be even stronger than it is now (although they are losing some really good players). Also, the Louis Vuitton Cup is continuing here in Auckland, and it seems as though the American Challengers are going to be the strongest. Prada are doing surprisingly badly, which is a pity, although both the Swedish Team and Alinghi look very strong and competitive. It's going to be interesting.....

I've got one week from today to finish my geography research assignment. Although in the past few days I've managed to sort out a lot of the figures and get a good idea of what the migration patterns in the Hawke's Bay are, I still need to discover why they exist - which is going to be a mixture of interviews (which I still have to conduct... arrrggghhhh), looking at the literature on the subject, and getting a better idea about what's been going on in the Hawke's Bay over the past 10 years. It will be a lot of hard work in the next week, but hopefully I should get some interesting results and it will be quite enjoyable to do (getting a little bit over-optimistic here). The best thing is that once I've done this all I need to do is clean up my other geography essay and then I would have finished every single bit of coursework in my degree. I'll only have two exams to go!

I bought the new Lifehouse Album yesterday, well not really 'bought' it because I had the music vouchers given to me for tasting Corn Chips the other day. It's a pretty good album, although a lot of the songs seem rather similar. But I guess that can be a good thing it they're all good! That's the 5th album I've got this year... which is pretty good for me - and means that people can't yell at me for only ever downloading music and never buying it! That's not to say I don't download music....

Went out on Saturday night with Nats and James for the first time in ages, which was pretty cool. We saw Austin Powers 3, then went up the Sky Tower (my 5th time, but it still takes your breath away) and then headed down to a really classy restaurant in the Viaduct Harbour (where the America's Cup teams are based). It was a pretty expensive night, but since we don't really go out that often I suppose I was justified in spoiling myself.

Bush seeks UN support to do whatever it wants, courtesy of The Onion. Damn I couldn't have put it better myself - for all the people who abused me last week for taking a stance against the US, this is what I mean...... it would also probably be funnier if it wasn't so true. Furthermore, apparentely, RIAA is suing radio stations for freely broadcasting material....

The Rally of New Zealand starts today (well last night really), so it's all go here at the moment as far as sporting events! It's been really windy the last few days though, so the Louis Vuitton Cup racing has been postponed everyday because the yachts are so fragile they would just all to pieces in high winds.

Life can be so frustrating at times, when it seems as though in order for you to be happy the next person has to be unhappy; but in order for them to be happy you have to be unhappy. It's like there's a finite amount of happiness in the world and it shifts around between people from time to time - and we all get our turn before the happiness allotment moves on to someone else. Or is it just a sign that you're really different, and that it's really difficult for you to both be happy at the same time because different things make you feel this way?

I've only got three weeks left of university now, and my post-university life is beginning to loom large in the future. There is the possibility that the geography department may need some people to work with them over the summer holidays - surely a more interesting and probably better paid job than McDonald's. But as I really do want to keep my McDonald's job it may be difficult to fit everything in, as even at the moment it sometimes feels I'm being pulled in a million different directions at once. Maybe it's best just to stick with McDonald's or maybe the university job would be quite flexible, and would easily co-exist with working part-time at McDonald's. I guess this means I need to research the details a little bit more.

I finished my Easter Rising essay yesterday, which means that I only have one more essay/report to write for my entire degree. I think back over the past three years and wonder how many essays I have written - I know that some of them are on this website but there are more. Add that to all the ones I have written during exams..... but I guess that's what happens when you do an Arts Degree. Funnily enough I'm actually getting pretty good at them, and usually I don't even need to draw up a plan as I seem to have it sussed out in my head.

It's quite funny heading into the last few weeks of my degree, at school it was always you do a year of work and then you get some sort of qualification - while it's taken three long years of university before I finally get anything. And even then it's not going to be enough for me to get into the type of job I really want, so the year after next I'm going to be back here for another two years for my Masters Degree. On that note I was thinking about possibilities for what I could write my Masters Thesis on, maybe something related to whether or not Auckland's planning and growth strategies over the past ten years contribute to sustainable development. That brings together quite a few of my interests, although there might not be a lecturer who knows enough about it to make something like that a reality.

I did my Corn Chip tasting yesterday, was OK I suppose although rather boring stating "how do you like the shape of this chip?" And "how dark or light is this chip, and how would you ideally like it to be?" But it was an easy $30 music voucher so I'm really not complaining - I might wait for the new Lifehouse CD to come out in New Zealand (it's already out in the states) and then use my vouchers to buy that.

I had a dream last night about going to Sydney with Nats, so maybe my subconscious is realising that this trip is going to be a reality (hopefully). I nearly fell out of the aeroplane (there didn't seem to be any windows), so maybe it wasn't really that accurate..... hmmm... my dreams are always strange though.

Meg makes an interesting point about Kazaa, that it's not really designed for people to steal things, and that it's the fault of the individual users that copyright material is transferred across the net. I guess this is true in some respects, as if everyone was to only trade non-copyright material or freeware then it would be perfectly legal, however it does make it a hell of a lot easier than would otherwise be the case to acquire this kind of stuff. Nevertheless, the fact that it's "illegal" hasn't stopped 150 million people from downloading Kazaa, and possibly it has had an effect on the music industry that's not all bad, although the future may not be pretty. I know that before Kazaa/Napster/Morpheus CD's cost about $34 here in New Zealand, and now you can get just about anything for under $25. Whether there's a link I don't know, but it has changed things for the better - I have a kickass music collection for one thing!

Take the political compass test to find out what you really are. I'm Economic Left/Right: -4.50 and Authoritarian/Libertarian: -5.18, which means I'm a left wing liberal - which I guess is fairly correct.

I had this nasty feeling yesterday that everything was just about to fall apart, as the tutor in one of my geography papers started explaining how we should write our research essay - and it was rather different to how I have already written it. So here I am panicking that they're going to give me a really crappy mark just because I've written it wrongly, rather than the fact that I didn't put lots of work into it, which I did. Fortunately I stopped panicking and freaking out once I realised that the essay isn't due for about another three weeks, and I will have time to re-adjust anything that needs it. Why do I panic?

I get to go Corn Chip tasting tonight, all in the name of market research. I think it's pretty cool, they give you free food, the opportunity to voice your opinion about the food, and a $30 music voucher for your time. Now I just have to think what CD am I going to buy? I guess the only downside is that you do realistically give up your time, and it's going to cost some extra bus fares, but in the end it's worth it...

There has been some rather heated debate lately in Blogosphere about people stealing designs and even copying tracts of writing from other blogs and passing it off as their own. Now in some ways I can understand the stealing of designs, but even then it should be adapted to your own taste or at least give reference to the person who thought it up. But copying tracts of writing from other blogs? All I can say is "what's the point?" Surely the whole point of a blog is a place where you can voice your opinions and a place where you can express yourself, if you are copying what other people have written (unless it's to quote them, with a link, and then comment on what they have said), it just seems completely and utterly pointless to me.

I think that angered a few people with my comments on September 11th and what I think is a huge patriotic fervor that has been attached to the event by the American people. For a start, let's get it straight that not only Americans died but people from all around the world died including New Zealand and including many Arab people - I have to say that I'm not the only one sick of hearing it as "an attack on America and American people". Moreover, the way in which September 11th has been used to legitimise the US breaking a multitude of international laws makes me wonder where the world is heading. Are the Al Qaeda prisoners being held in Cuba having any of their basic human rights allowed? And the latest effect, the impending US attack on Iraq which contravenes Article 2(4) of the UN charter which states "all memebers shall refrain in their international relations from the threat or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of any state" seems to be another sign that the US thinks it can do what it likes "so something like that never happens again...."

Before you start screaming "terrorist!" at me, I agree that the perpetrators of September 11th should be punished for what happens as should those who supported them. But surely it was a "Crime against Humanity" rather than a "declaration of war" - shouldn't those people involved be tried in the international court, to show how any future acts of terrorism are denounced by the whole international community and we can all act together to ensure something like this never happens again. Because if you think about it, what did the terrorists really hope to achieve? In my opinion, and in the opinion of many others, they hoped to sparks a vicious retribution from the US which would unite all the Arab world against America and lead to a Jihad. If Bush attacks Iraq then it's quite possible their hopes will be achieved - is this really what you want, to vindicate and fulfill the aspirations of the September 11th terrorists?

Nats has bought "The Sims Unleashed", which is the 5th expansion pack on The Sims that we now have. Although this sounds like a bit of a mess, and it is if you care to have a look through all the files, everything seems to be working - and the latest expansion pack has some fairly cool additions to it. I haven't played The Sims for a long, long time - but there was a time about a year and a half ago when I was playing it 24/7 and it is an incredibly addictive game.

Going to Melbourne in May and June sounds like a really BAD idea to me now. I just remembered that although Melbourne can get up into the 40s (celcius!) during summer, it drops down to about 10 during winter if there's a cold southerly. As one of the best things about going to Australia in winter is to GET AWAY from the cold, I think I may save Melbourne for a nicer time of the year, although it's famous for having all four seasons in one day.

Today is the first day of racing in the Louis Vuitton Cup, which will determine who faces Team New Zealand in the America's Cup early next year. It's the big event for Auckland, and you can just feel that little ripple of excitement, which was helped greatly by the parade on Saturday. It will be nice to go down to the Viaduct Basin and watch the racing on the big screen. Don't really know who I'm going to support in the Louis Vuitton, probably Prada as they won it last time and then were nicely beaten 5-0 by Team New Zealand in the America's Cup itself.