JOKER'S FAVOR

It is to laugh, huh, Mistah J?

Hiiiiiiiii! The car's this way, Charlie!

Don't stop now Jimmy! The party's just startin'!

You have the right to remain silent. Jerk.

Here's the Gotham's Commissioner G.

You lock up the weirdos, the crooks, and the geeks.

Yer a hero all the boys in blue,

But this time, baybee, the jokes on YOU!

YAY! WHEE! WHEE! YAY! WHOOP! WHOOP! Gee, tough audience.

Oy! Beauty school is startin' to look pretty good about now.

THE LAUGHING FISH

A-a-a-hem! Look alive, wave slaves! Presenting,
the Caliph of Clowns, that Mogul of Mountebanks! The one and only, Jokeeeeeeeer!

Ewwwwwwwwwww, fish! Stink-a-roonie! *spray* All better.

They're finny, and funny, and oh so delish. They're joyful and jolly: Joker Fish!

Uh, Mistah J...I have this little problem with fish...
Joker: Eat it.
Harley: Yummy, yum, yum.

Freeze Coppah, I gotcha covered, see?

Harley: Again with the fish! I hate fish! No offence, Mistah J!

Joker: Poor Harley. This caper's been pretty rough on you, hasn't it?
Harley: Uh huh.
Joker: Cheer up! You can be very own little mermaid!
Harley: Oooh! Joker: *slaps a fish head on her* Harley: Yer really sick. Ya know that, boss?

Harley: Awww my poor, poor Puddin'.
Bullock: C'mon! He was a demented, abusive, psychotic maniac.
Harley: Yeah...I'm really gonna miss 'im! *cries*

ALMOST GOT 'IM

It's Late Night Gotham Live! And here's the man
that puts a smile on yer face whether you want it or not,
Theeee Joker!

Look on the bright side. Tomorrow you'll be feeding hundreds of hungry cats!

THE MAN WHO KILLED BATMAN

I'm Doctor Harleen Quinzel. Legal council to Mr. Debris.
I want you to know that I've paid his bail and he won't have
to another any questions till it's formally arranged.

My boss likes me to wear a smile to work!

Harley: Wheeeeee! Look at all the pretties!
Joker: Put them back, Harley...
Harley: Oh, Mistah J, yer such a kidder! Ya never could...
Joker: I said PUT THEM BACK! *pushes her*
Harley: Sure, boss! I could do that! See, this is me, puttin'
'em back! No problem-a. Heh...

Ya know what's great about you, Puddin'? You really put the FUN in funeral.

HARLEY & IVY

"If he wants the car that bad, he can have it."

Joker: The Dork Knight showed up before we even got to the museum!
I had a great shot at him, too. Except, my dear little Harley Quinn handed
me the wrong gun!
Harley: But Puddin', it was kinda funny seein' you shoot at him
with the bang flag!
Joker: Funny? You presume to tell me what I should think
is funny? In fact, when have you EVER contributed a worth while
idea to this gang?
Well, I did get us away from Batman...
Joker: Oh, huzzah! The kid gets lucky and she wants a medal!
Maybe I should let you run the gang? Maybe you're a
better crook then the rest of us put there?!
Harley: Maybe...Not?

I'll show ya! You'll be sorry. I'll pull a big heist all by myself and
I'll be laughing at 'cha, Ha ha. Ya hear? Laughing! ...I miss him
already...

Oooooh, Mistah J'll just plotz when I give 'im...No, I'm keeping it for myself...maybe.

Harley: Nice work, butterfingers! Why didn't you just turn on the Batsignal
while you were at it?
Poison Ivy: I wasn't trying to get cought!
Harley: Could've fooled me. Hey, aren't you that plant lady, Poison Oaky?
Ivy: Ivy! Poison Ivy!
Harley: Sorry! Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!

I hate shots, I hate shots!

Ya think after livin' with Mistah J I'd be used to a little pain.

My Puddin's a little rough sometimes, but he loves me, wreally. Gee, Red, you've got style!

Green, my favorite color. No offence, Red, but I'm not really hungry.
Somehow I don't feel like my old perky self. Somethin's missin'."

Joker: That's it. Next time I start a gang, no women. Do ya hear me? No women!
Harley: I think we can still work it out, don't you?

TRIAL

Hi Red, Hi! Welcome home!"

Well, cheer up! Word is we're gonna throw a little party!
And ol' Jervis here has the invitaions!

I borrowed yer belt Bats, but it doesn't do a thing for me!

I just wanna say, if there were no Batman, there'd be no
Joker and I never would of met my Puddin'! Thank you, Batman!

Ha! Yer just jealous cuz you don't have a fella who's as lovin'
and loyal as my Puddin' is to me!

You lowsy, sum sucking creep! Slimy rat! I'll kick that grin off yer silly face!

HARLEQUINADE

Harley: Don't 'cha knock before entering a ladies boudoir?
Batman: I need help.
Harley: Well, you've come to the right play. I recommend the labotomy.

Aww, shoot! Take all the fun out of life!

Oh, the irony of it! The grim stalwart Dark Knight and his
greatest female adversary, fighting together to save the city!

I wanna listen to the radio!

Batman: Listen, and listen good. You don't touch anything.
Say anything, or do anything unless I tell you, got it?!
Harley: ...Yessir...

This used to be our special love nest.
Have a look around while I slip into something more comfortable.

Didja see the way I handled those creeps? Pow! Bam!
Oooo, Batgirl, eat your heart out!

Do I know how Mistah J thinks or what? Ha! And here you
thought I was just another bubble-headed blonde bimbo.
Well, the jokes on you! I'm not even a real blonde!

Gee, It's amazing what you find in people's glove compartments!

Harley: Hi, Puddin'. Miss me?
Joker: Well, you clever little minx! How did you escape from Arkham?
Harley: Batman sprung me so's I could find you! Had me all
locked up in his bad 'ol car too!"
Batman: Quinn! We had a deal!
Harley: Deal's off, B-Man! No one said anything about hurtin' Mistah J!

HARLEY'S HOLIDAY

Wheeeeee! Wahoooooo! Whopeeeeeeee! Yay, yay, yay!
Uh, I mean, thank you, Dr. Leland."

"Hey remember me? That big charity bash a few years back?
The one the Joker robbed? I was the clown girl holdin' the gun on ya!
Oh, but don't worry. I'm over the crime thing, see? I'm rehabilitated
and ready to live my life right!

Move over, toots! I'm drivin'!

Boxy: Any last words?
Harley: Just one...BAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBIES!
Play nice with yer new chew toy!

I'm having a bad day! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me,
run me over and blow me up! I didn't even get to keep my new
dress! ...And a actully paid for it!

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

HOLIDAY KNIGHTS

I'm depressed Red. Here it is holiday season and we're
hiding out in this dingy rat-trap. No presents. No fun. No nothin'.
Can't we at least get a Christmas tree?
Ivy: What?!

Race you to the shoe department, Red!

Rightaroonie. Gimme some sugar, baybee!

JOKER'S MILLIONS

Joker: I thought I told you to get gas!
Harley: We're broke, remember?! What was I supposed to do?!
Fill the tank, shoot the guy, and drive off?!
Joker: Mmhmm.
Harley: Now ya tell me!

Joker seeks new henchgirl...I'LL KILL HIM!

BEWARE THE CREEPER

Think Bats saw you, putty-cat?

Fireworks make me all tingly inside!

Happy Aniversery, Mistah J!
Yer really swell and okay.
It's seven years to the day!
Take the night off, lets play!

Wanna try some of my pie?

MAD LOVE

Naughty! Naughty! Jump around like that and doctor
won't give you a lollipop!

Aww, c'mon, Puddin'! Don't cha wanna rev up yer Harley? Vroom, vroom!

Oh, sweetie! I brought the whoopie custion!

Knock, knock, Puddin'! Say hello to yer new, improved Harley Quinn!

Harley: I actually enjoyed some of our romps. But a time comes when a gal wants
more. And now all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin' sweetheart.
Batman: You and the Joker
Harley: Rightroonie!
Batman: Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!
Harley: I've never seen you laugh before... Cut it out. Yer givin' me the creeps...
Batman: You little fool. The Joker doesn't love anyone but himself.
Wake up, Harleen. He had you pegged since the minute you walked into Arkham.
Harley: No. NO! He told me things! Secret things he never told anyone!
Batman: Was it the one about the abusive father? Or the one about the runaway mom?
He's gained a lot of sympathy with that one.
Harley: STOP IT! Yer making me confused!
Batman: What was it he told that one porole officer? Oh yes. 'There was only one time
I saw dad really happy. He took me to the ice show when I was seven.'
Harley: ...Circus... He said it was the circus...
Batman: He's got a million of them, Harley.
Harley: *wiping tears* YER WRONG! MY PUDDIN' DOES LOVE ME, HE DOES!
Yer the problem! Now yer gonna die and make everything right!

WORLD'S FINEST

Blah, blah, blah. Whoa, mama! Check out the cute hitchhiker!

Ooooooo, can I play too?! Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!

Hello, Mistah J! I'm Batman! Eat me, eat me!

Ooooh. Listen to Little Miss Can't Take A Joke!

Joker: How're ya doin', sluggar?
Harley: ...A-Okay, Mistah J...

I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!

GIRL'S NIGHT OUT

Ivy: Your hyenas have been watering my plants again.
Harley: C'mon, Red. We're all bored kooked up in here!

Harley: Ain't this place great, Sparky? Look at the ice burgs!
They got real seals in there! Arf! Arf!
Livewire: Yeah and lots of water!
Harley: C'mon, Sparky. Wet yer whistle!
Livewire: *throws water in Harley's face*
Ivy: You know, Livewire, You could show a little appreciation.

BATMAN BEYOND: RETURN OF THE JOKER

Robin: That evens things up a little.
Harley: Not really, Birdboy! *whack!*

Harley: Hush little baby, don't say a word.
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.
And if that mocking bird don't sing,
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass.
And if that looking glass gets broke...
Puddin', company!
Joker: Hello there, and welcome to our happy home!
Batman: Where's Robin?
Joker: Robin? There's no Robin here.
Harley: Maybe he means our Little J.
Joker: Of course! That's it!

Joker: Y'know, Bats, we've been doing our little runaround for years.
But, the sad fact is...none of us are getting any younger.
Harley: That old clocks a-tickin'!
Joker: Quite right, pooh!
And Harley and I were thinking about starting a family.
Adding a Joker Jr. to our merry brood.

Sweetie, get mommy's bazooka!