From: Ram To: shipperworld ; cadf ; shippyfanfic Subject: [shipperworld] New Fic: Wishing On A Star (1/1) Date: vrijdag 27 oktober 2000 0:22 X-Files fic.. feedback? Title: Wishing On A Star Author: Jo R. Rating: PG-13 for suggestions. Category: V, A Keywords: Angst, Scully-POV, MSR and kid-fic through no fault of my own (for the first time *ever* *g*) Disclaimer: All rights belong to CC, 1013 and Fox. Characters are not mine, never have been and never will be. But then lifes not fair. Spoilers: Requiem, The Unnatural, Fight the Future, various small ones for all seasons/conspiracy episodes. Summary: Very short and probably pointless. Post-Requiem, Scully makes a wish. Distribution/Archive: Yes to Gossamer and Shipperworld. Anywhere else, just let me know and keep my details attached. Feedback: All welcome at Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk - feedback cherished and responded to ASAP. Dedicated to Mary, for not being satisfied with me working my fingers to the bone trying to get some Stargate fic done and demanding an X-Files fic. Sorry this isnt the one you want, Mary, but its what all I could manage. Hope it doesnt disappoint. And Im into the angst thing at the moment. ::gasp:: But I think I should stick with the fluff.. And for Jay, who read it and told me to post it. ~*~ Star light, Star bright, First Star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish, I wish tonight. ~*~ I havent wished upon a star in a long time. The first time I ever made a wish was with my father, on one of our family camping trips. I was seven. I couldnt sleep and crept out of my tent to find he was still awake, staring at the fire as though if he stared hard enough, all the answers to all the questions in the world would leap out at him. He smiled when he saw me, and welcomed me into his arms. Together, we talked softly and made our wishes. When I refused to tell him what Id wished for, he tickled me until my giggling threatened to wake everyone else up. We spent the night by the fire, I fell asleep in his arms and he didnt have the heart to wake me. The safest place in the world to me for a long time was my fathers arms because I knew he would never let anything harm me. He never asked again what I wished for. I made the same wish every year after that, on all our camping trips, hoping it would come true. It did, Mulder. I wished for you. I dont think I knew at the time what I was wishing for. I was a child, love and safety were the same thing in my eyes. I looked at my parents and I wanted that. I wanted to believe I would have a love like that so badly that I wished for it with my whole heart. Its only now that I realise my suspicions were right my wish had come true. I found that love, with you, but I lost it again, almost as quickly as it came. I dont know how, it just slipped from my grasp like beads of sand slip effortlessly through the hourglass. You never really know youre losing it until its not there for you to hold onto anymore. I dont think I ever truly appreciated how being in your arms healed me. I felt safe; your embrace somehow restored my faith in our fight, in our cause. I trusted you to hold me and protect me the best you could and you always did. I know you blamed yourself for my abduction, for Melissas death, for my cancer and for Emily. I know you felt guilty for exposing me to all the pain and suffering that exists in the world. I never blamed you, Mulder. I wish you were here so I could tell you that, I wish you were here so I could tell you that youre the one who gave my dreams back to me. Your love, your unrelenting faith and determination.. You gave me something I thought I had lost when my father died. You gave me the ability to see anything is possible, you made me a strong person. In your own words, you completed me. But youre not here anymore. They took you to God knows where, to do God knows what. But I have the faith, Mulder. I have the ability to dream and wish that you would come back to me. I have the courage to continue your fight alone, for you, for me, for us and for the child that grows beneath my palm. The sky is clear tonight. Theres a beautiful but haunting moon and Im sure there are dozens of hundred of stars. I only see one. I see our star, the one you pointed out to me one warm night when you held me in your arms under the pretence of teaching me how to bat. I hear your voice in my ear, feel your breath warm on my neck, even now, in this cold and sterile hospital room. See that star, Scully? Thats ours. When you were gone, I looked at that star and prayed and wished for you to come back. When you had cancer, I wished you would get better. Thats our star, Scully.. Dana. If were ever apart or you ever need me, wish on that star and Ill hear you, even if Im a million miles away. And Ill always come running. Those words are etched forever in my memory and my heart and I will tell our child them someday. Or maybe you will. Those words were what brought us together, they helped us conquer the last hurdle and even thought we didnt kiss until almost a year later, it was those words that echoed in the room when our union was made. As long as I carry this precious life inside me, and as long as I hold on to the memories and promises and am able to dream, I believe you are with me, in almost every way. And after our miracle child is brought into the world, as long as I can breathe life into this body, this child will be loved and will know that, somewhere, it has a father who will love it as much as its mother. It is my promise to you, which I make on this star on this night, that I will never forget. I will never give up the fight, no matter how hard the struggle. I will never give up. Wherever you are, whatever theyre doing, hear me now as you once promised you would. I love you, Mulder and I will wait until you come back to me. And Ill keep on wishing, Mulder. Ill never stop. Not until youre back beside me, holding me in your arms, and able to wish upon our star with me once again. Our star shines brightly, twinkling in the midnight sky, shining down on our child and myself. And I know, Mulder, someday, it will shine, as brightly as possible, down on us again. Someday. But until then, Ill keep wishing. ~*~ Star light, Star bright, First Star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish, I wish tonight. ~*~ Hmm.. I think I lost the plot somewhere along the way there. I hear you all gasping - There was a plot?! Well, there was supposed to be. *g* Let me know if you find it, and let me know if you dont. Feedback is what I wish for. 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