Title: Storms. Author: Joey R. Rating: PG-13. Category: UST, kind of MSR, angst. Short. Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were, wish Mulder’s waterbed and non-existent fish were mine but they’re not. They all belong to the very rich and very talented CC. He created them and he earns all the money from them, I earn nothing. At all. Spoilers: None, really. Just mention of spoilers from S7 that we already suspected. Summary: Storms in the atmosphere cause storms in relationships. Archive: Please do. Let me know where, though. Feedback: All welcome at Joey@Ram32.freeserve.co.uk or Joey_r83@yahoo.com - feedback cherished and will be rewarded with a yummy Mulder clone. Flames: If you can find the time to write them, I'll try to find the time to read them. Dedication: CADF, Lyndsey, Lisa, Tanja, Shelia, Rotem, Mary, Melissa. Note: This story has nothing to do with any other stories written by me. Visit my fic@ http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Park/1240/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Glances barely scratch the surface, You have to look to see the soul. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Storms By Joey R. +X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X Storms (1/2) Thunder crashed in the skies above. The clouds loomed, dark and heavy. They had changed from being light gray to being a dark, almost black, gray. A flash of lightening illuminated the room as the lights in the room flickered. The thunder calmed down for a few moments and the lights flickered again before the room filled with darkness. Dana Scully sighed, relieved that she’d lit the fire earlier on in the evening. She used the light of the fire to see her way to the cabinet where the candles and matches were. She strategically placed the candles in different areas of the room and lit them. giving the room more atmosphere as well as more light. She settled back in front of the fire, wondering about the days events. She hugged herself tighter, warding off a shiver. Despite the warmth of the fore and the candles, she still felt cold. She had changed clothes since getting caught in the storm but she still felt as if she was in the clothes she was wearing earlier, she could still feel the soaked material as if it were still clinging to her body. She shivered again, only this time it wasn’t the cold weather that made her shiver. This shiver came from the inside. It had been a long day before she’d even left the office. Her car breaking down and forcing her to walk four blocks in the rain hadn’t helped her mood. Scully sighed and winced immediately afterwards. Walking home and being attacked by a would-be mugger, possible rapist, hadn’t helped either. She felt a very slight smug smile tug at her lips. She’d fought back and she’d fought back hard. That would teach that creep to try attacking an FBI Agent. Still, she knew she was going to be sore for days and she knew she should go and see a doctor. The doctor-orientated part of her mind told her that she definitely had bruised ribs if not a small fracture. An image of her would-be attacker flashed in her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting off the image. She was pleased that she’d managed to fight him off but she was now wondering if she could hid it from Mulder. She could easily cover the bruise on her cheek with make-up and by wearing her hair down. That just meant she had to pretend her arm wasn’t bruised and didn’t hurt every time she moved it. And, of course, there was the rib problem. Scully sighed heavily. She’d go to the hospital in the morning which would help her avoid Mulder a little longer. And then she’d call a garage and get someone to look at her car and fix it. She sighed again, biting her bottom lip and closing her eyes when a flash of pain shot through her chest. She breathed in, slowly and deeply, and found herself wishing Mulder was there with her. She shook the thought from her head. Mulder was not who she wanted to see at the moment. After all, he probably wasn’t speaking to her and if he was, he’d only be angry. Scully bit her lip harder to keep herself from sighing - and, even worse, to keep herself from crying. She shouldn’t have done it. She shouldn’t have gone behind his back and searched for information on his relationship with Diana Fowley. And she definitely shouldn’t have confronted him. He’d been hurt and upset and disappointed that she’d gone behind his back. And he’d been angry, angrier than she’d ever seen him before although she did suspect that he might find it the tiniest bit flattering when he calmed down. Another thing that made Scully dread seeing him. She’d basically let the cat out of the bag. He knew how she felt about him now. He had to. There was no way even Fox Mulder could be that stupid and not realize she loved him. After all, she’d been so consumed with jealousy and she’d been so insecure, she’d done a background check. On him, her partner. And her best friend. Scully now wished she’d waited until he’d told her in his own time. Then things between them wouldn’t be as tense as they were. But then there was the small part of her that thought he never would have told her if she hadn’t found out for herself. And that thought hurt. She thought she could trust him to be totally honest with her. The only reason she’d done it was because she sensed he was keeping something from her and she needed to know what it was. She’d told him that. He said he didn’t want to hear it and that he didn’t even think he could stand to look at her so she’d left. And she was no better off now for finding out than she was before she knew. She felt just as bad, if not worse. And to make it even worse, Mulder was mad at her and he wasn’t mad before when she didn’t know he’d been married. What confused Scully even more was that she still didn’t know where she stood with Mulder. He knew how she felt but she was clueless when it came to his feelings and thoughts when it came to her. What did he see her as? Was she a replacement for Samantha? Was she something to fill in the time Diana was away? Was she just a partner? Just a friend? It hurt. Thinking about the whole thing hurt her. She felt depressed and used. Some scathing part of her mind told her she was nothing more to Mulder than someone to cover for him and someone who’d follow him and help him and be there whenever he needed but that her feelings didn’t count for anything. Sometimes, she thought that in his eyes she was no more than a lost puppy, always following and getting in his way. And now she imagined him thinking of her as a lovesick puppy, which was even worse. Scully cursed herself for being so weak. It wasn’t like her, she knew that. Before Mulder entered her life, there was never any self-doubt or lack of confidence. Well, before Diana Fowley re-entered Mulder’s life. Her mother told her it was because she was in love. And her mother was determined to prove it. Mrs. Scully was continuously told Scully that she was in love with Mulder. She didn’t just love him as a friend and she wasn’t just attracted to him. She was in love. And nothing hurt more than true love, according to her mother. It was now, alone in her apartment, that she believed her. Scully inched carefully over to the couch and pulled herself up onto it. She lay down and closed her eyes. But that didn’t stop the tears from falling. X+X+X+X+X End of Part One. Storms (2/2) A little later in the evening. Fox Mulder sat in his car, watching the heavy pellets of rain bounce off the windshield. He’d been sitting there for a while, about half an hour, and his legs were numb. For some reason, he couldn’t find the determination within him to get out, brave the rain and try to make amends. His mind was full of too many thoughts. A flashback, the look of utter distress and misery on Scully’s face as she left the office. He wouldn’t be able to get that picture out of his mind, at least not until he saw one of her rare smiles grace her lips. Not until he knew they were okay. He thought back to when he told the Gunmen what had happened and to what they had said. They’d made him think, they’d forced him to see it from Scully’s point of view and they - especially Frohike - had shouted and argued with him until he was out of arguments. Byers, Langly and Frohike had asked him questions he found he couldn’t answer, questions that had confused him. They had asked him what he saw when he looked at Scully, what she was to him and how he felt about her. When he couldn’t answer, Byers had told him to take a good, long and hard look at Scully, not just a glance. And then he asked what it was Mulder saw when he imagined Scully in his mind. That was when he’d left and he’d been sitting here ever since. Mulder sighed. Scully meant a lot to him but he was so confused. He was hurt and felt betrayed when she’d confronted him. She had gone behind his back instead of just asking him. But now he felt guilty for acting how he had and for not telling her the truth in the first place. If she had hid it from him, he would have been angry and hurt. Byers’ questions kept running through mind: Have you ever truly looked at her? Don’t you see how she’s been faithful and devoted to you and your quest no matter how hard things have been on her? How she trusts you with her life but doesn’t know now whether she can trust you with her heart or if you even want her to? Look at her, What do you see? Mulder knew exactly what he saw when he looked at her. He just didn’t know how to put them into words and he didn’t know whether she’d forgive him for not telling her the truth about Diana. Mulder knew, as he sat in his car, that his life wouldn’t be complete without Dana Scully in it. He had got along fine without Diana in his life but he knew he couldn’t without Scully. Scully was the most important person in his life and the one thing he couldn’t live without. On some level, Mulder was convinced he needed her more than he needed air or water. To him, she was his air. In fact, she was all four elements that he needed to live. She was his air, his earth, his fire, his water. She was his everything. He just didn’t know how to tell her. Mulder sighed again and looked up at her apartment window. Despite the electricity being affected by the storm, there was a little bit of light coming through the window. He suspected it came from the fire he knew she would have lit and a few candles she lit when she was alone and needed comforting. It tore his heart into piece’s to think she needed comforting because of something he’d done, or something he hadn’t done. He realized that he had the advantage. He knew how she felt, he knew she had to care for him a lot to have checked up on him but she was being kept in the dark when it came to his feelings and he knew that must be making the situation a lot worse on her. He opened the car door and slammed it, locking it quickly before running up to the steps of her apartment building. It was about time they were put on even ground. That was the only way they could go forward together, instead of going forward apart. X+X+X+X+X He debated whether to knock or use his key as he walked up the stairs to her floor. He decided on using his key. If he was in her vulnerable position, he wouldn’t open the door. And he knew she would use her key is that happened. She wouldn’t let the subject drop and that was exactly how he felt. He got to her door, squinting in the darkness to try and see where to put the key. He opened the door as quietly as he could and entered the apartment, closing the door behind him softly. He saw her lying on the couch, the flickering flames from the fire and the candles illuminating her face and making shadows dance. He smiled slightly at the innocent look on her face and walked towards her, careful not to make a sound. He took the blanket from the back of the couch and covered her up. He was about to walk away when he noticed a dark purple bruise forming on her cheek. Frowning, he leaned in and looked closer. Her cheeks were damp and one of them was bruised. He frowned. When had that happened? Sighing, he walked away and sat in the chair opposite the couch. He’d wait until she woke up and then they’d talk. He shifted until he was comfortable and then rested his head so he could watch her sleeping. X+X+X+X+X Scully woke up and tried to sit up, cursing and wincing at the same time when it hurt. She caught a glimpse of Mulder sitting opposite and then did a double take. Mulder? She frowned and then looked at the blanket lying over her. She realized he must have let himself in sometime during the night, after she’d fallen asleep. Carefully, she pushed back the blanket and put her feet on the floor. She used the couch to push herself up and then she blew out the candles that hadn’t burnt down during the night. The fire had died down but the room was lit by daylight. She walked over to him, slowly so it didn’t hurt as much. She reached out and touch his arm, shaking him gently. “ Mulder?” She asked once he opened his eyes and looked at her. “ What are you doing here?” “ I came to see you,” he mumbled sleepily. “ But I guess you knew that.” “ What do you want?” Scully moved away, trying not to wince. “ I thought you didn’t want to see me, let alone talk to me.” “ That was then,” Mulder shrugged. He stood and easily caught up with her. “ But table that for a minute. Are you okay?” “ I’ve been better,” she retorted. She walked slowly to the kitchen and put the kettle on. “ I didn’t see your car outside,” Mulder pressed, wanting to know what was wrong. “ So what happened after you left work?” “ My car broke down and I had to walk in the rain half way home and I was almost mugged,” she rolled her eyes. “ End of story, now why are you here?” “ What do you mean ‘almost mugged’?” Mulder put a hand on her arm and tugged gently, trying to get her to face him. He immediately pulled away when he saw her wince. “ Scully? Where does it hurt?” “ It’s nothing,” she lied, biting her gum hard. “ Liar,” he challenged, moving round to face her. “ You’ve got a horrible bruise on your cheek and you’re obviously in pain after being ‘almost mugged’. So stop lying ad tell me the truth. How the Hell were you ‘almost mugged’ and where does it hurt?” “ Well, let’s just say I fought back more than the guy was expecting and managed to defend myself but I got a kick in the ribs for my troubles,” she spat out. “ Now are you satisfied? Can you leave me alone now?” “ Scully, we have to talk,” he murmured. “ And you have to go to the hospital.” “ No, I don’t,” she argued. “ My ribs are just bruised. There’s nothing they can do at the hospital.” “ They could x-ray you and make sure they are just bruised,” he reasoned. “ Or they could give you something for the pain.” “ I’m a doctor, I’ve had broken and fractured ribs before and I know mine are just bruised at the moment. The hospital wouldn’t give me anything stronger that what I’ve got at home,” Scully sighed. “ I’m fine, I’m just not going into work today.” “ The can we at least talk?” Mulder asked with a hopeful smile. “ I thought you’d said everything you wanted to say,” she remarked. “ I haven’t said anything I want to say, Dana,” he answered. “ Dana?” She arched an eyebrow. “ What is it that’s got you using my first name? You’re going to tell me you’re getting remarried to Diana and that you’re going to have 2.4 children and live happily ever after and you wanted to tell me personally so I don’t find out about it by going behind your back?” Her voice raised as she glared at him, pain that wasn’t from her injury flashing in her eyes. “ No, I came to tell you that I love you,” he shouted back. Scully reeled away from him as if he’d physically hit her and she looked at him in disbelief. “ I...You..” Her voice trailed off and she just stared at him, completely shocked. “ I love you,” he repeated, softening his voice and moving closer. “ I always have and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Diana. I guess I didn’t want to tell you in case it hurt you but I ended up hurting you more. And to tell you the truth, I regret being married to her. It wasn’t a real marriage, I didn’t love her and I feel stupid for believing she loved me when she was using me. I’m sorry, Scully.” “ I think maybe she did love you and that part of her still does so you shouldn’t feel stupid,” she bit her lip, unsure of what to say. “ I don’t know why I got so upset, I’m sorry. I just... It hurt because you didn’t tell me and I knew there was something you were keeping from me. I thought you were still in love with her and that made it worse.” “ I might have loved her once but it was nothing compared to what I feel for you,” he told her softly. “ Will you forgive me for not telling you?” “ Yeah, I’m sorry for going behind your back. It wasn’t really any of my business, I should have trusted you to tell me if and when you wanted to,” Scully’s shoulders slumped. “ I should be the one asking if you forgive me.” “ I’m making it your business,” Mulder replied. “ And you’re forgiven.” “ Thank you,” she smiled up at him, her eyes a little tearful. “ I love you, Mulder.” “ I know,” he pulled her to him gently, trying not to hurt her. He kissed the crown of her head and felt the dampness of her tears soak through his shirt. “ It’s going to be okay, Scully,” he murmured, swaying her slightly. Scully looked up into his eyes and they made each other a silent vow that there would be no more secrets between them and they’d stop fighting the past, concentrating instead on living in the present. End of Part Two. End of Storms.