Everything I Do-Chapter 1

 

She smiled as she tried to balance the bag and the flowers in one hand while trying to unlock the door with the other. This could have been made simpler, she thought. No matter now. She finally accomplished her task and gained entrance to the penthouse. Usually she was met with a cheerful welcome, but that would not be the case today. He would not be back until later on, so she would make something for his return.

It seemed like a lifetime since he was away. She missed her best friend terribly. She smiled again as she went back to the kitchen. The penthouse seemed so familiar to her. It had been a year since her friendship began with him. "Our anniversary," she said out loud. How odd she thought about it as that. She understood why he needed to be away on his own right now, which is why although he insisted she come along with him, she declined.

She had done some strange things in the past year. One weekend he decided he wanted to go white water rafting, so of course she went along. Then another time they went backpacking through the African safari for two weeks. Bungee jumping and parachuting were the highlights of another adventure. Where ever they went was a new, exciting, and potentially dangerous experience for her. She understood his need to be out of Port Charles as much as he possibly could. When he asked, she was there for him; she didn’t want to be in Port Charles that much either.

Their friendship had sad beginnings, though, and she was afraid that he would see her as a constant reminder of that. But, he did not. He always asked her to accompany him on these adventures. And, she had been to so many parties, that it made her head spin sometimes. They were forever wining and dining with the rich and famous, well, then again, he was rich and famous. At first she felt a little uneasy about it, but then she realized how fun it was.

She was his stability, an anchor. She was the voice of reason, when he really needed. She thought as she arranged the flowers in the vase on the dining room table. If it weren’t for her, he would have set out on a quest to find her that she knew would destroy him. When he didn’t want to concentrate on business, she made him. On more than one occasion, he told her that he would probably be lost without her. She had merely told him that was what she was there for. They shared everything. They loved one another.

She titled her head to the side and thought about that. They loved each other; there was no doubt about that. Maybe in different ways, but she was sure he loved her, but only as a friend. She took a deep breath as she unbuttoned her leather coat. Exactly how did she feel about him? She loved him, perhaps a little more than as a friend. Sometimes it hurt her to look at him and know that he would probably never return that love. He had been hurt too much, too many times.

The door opening startled her and she jumped and turned around to see who had arrived, "My goodness, Jax, you scared me."

Smiling, he asked, "So that’s the welcome I get?"

She laughed and walked over to the door and gave him a hug. "You weren’t supposed to back until later," she noted before he released her. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Well," he said letting her go, "we wouldn’t want that, now would we." He missed her terribly. He wished she would have come with him, but he knew that she thought it would best if he was alone this time. Last week was one year since Brenda’s death. He really didn’t want to think about that right now.

"I was going to make dinner before you came, but it seems that you have ruined my plans," she said walking back over to the table to finish arranging the flowers for the room. She usually brought fresh flowers every week. It was a constant in their relationship. She was glad she had this task to complete. Whenever she thought about him in a non-friendship way, she got nervous.

He took off his coat and picked up the mail from his desk. He looked over at her; she had her head bent to her task. Lately, he had been unable to keep from comparing her to Brenda. They were so very different. They were the same age, but similarities seemed to stop there. She was older, though, or so it seemed. Brenda was so youthful and a little flighty, but Keesha was stable. She often said she had an old soul, which is why she was a better match for Jason than for AJ. He felt responsible for the two of them not being able to get back together, but she told him that there was really no hope for that anyway.

She looked beautiful standing there arranging his flowers. Her clothes were conservative, yet daring. The high heeled leather black boots came up to cover her calf. Then there was the straight black skirt with a daringly high split on each side. And the form fitting velvet blouse that became taut each time she reached for a flower to add to the bouquet. He looked away; this was driving him crazy.

"You said that you were planning to make dinner, why don’t we go out instead?" he asked. He needed to get out and be in public.

She turned from her task. Sometimes she could still be taken aback at how wonderful he looked and was. "If you want to, this is your homecoming," she smiled. She now moved to place the flowers around the penthouse. "How did you enjoy yourself? I see that you were not hurt."

He smiled at the domesticity of the situation. Whenever she came over, it was as if she was the lady of the house. He remembered when a past girlfriend came over once, Keesha basically showed the woman who ruled in his house. He teased her about being jealous, but she denied it. He didn’t think about it too much then, but now, he was convinced that she was. "No, all bones are intact. I still can’t believe that you’ve never been skiing."

"And I don’t want to. I’ll do anything else you want me to," she said coming over to where he stood, "but that, I will not."

He raised an eyebrow at what she said. "’Anything’," he joked. "You may want to think about that. Where do you want to go for dinner? How about something French, or maybe we can go to New York?"

"What about the PC Grill? There is food here in Port Charles, you know?" she laughed as she went to retrieve her coat from a chair. "You would think that after being out of town for the past two weeks, you wouldn’t be in such a hurry to leave again. Didn’t you miss being here?" she joked.

He shrugged, "Yes, I missed being here, but if you come with me, I won’t miss it anymore."

She smiled at him as he moved to help her on with her coat. "Jax, lines like that can get you anywhere."

He kissed her on the cheek, "That is what I’m counting on." He opened the door and followed her out. She wondered exactly about what he meant.

"What exactly happened up there in those mountains?" Keesha asked when the waiter brought the food to their table. There was always a table available for them in the restaurant. She thought that Jax must have had a standing reservation.

"What do you mean?" he asked taking a drink of his wine. "I went skiing, and I checked up on my accounts. Nothing unusual."

She peered at him. "Did you have some sort of epiphany while you were up there? You seem different somehow." She was referring to the double entendres he had been using all evening. She really didn’t know what was going on with the man she thought she knew so well. "Honey," she said, "you’ve gotten me really confused."

He smiled at her, "No, I did not go to the mountaintop and receive some sort of divine inspiration. But, I have come to a realization."" She waited for him to go on, but he did not seem to have any plans of doing so. He just looked up at her and smiled again. "What’s been going on in Port Charles since I’ve been away?"

She shrugged, "Nothing really. You know how things go around here. Other than the fact that it has been very cold for October, nothing else is really happening that I know about or want to know for that matter."

"So, what have you been doing since I have been gone? I thought you had class," he reminded her as if she had been lying.

"I know what I said, and yes, I did. You don’t believe that I actually go to class. Jax, I’m a good girl, I always tell the truth," she joked as she cut her chicken.

"Are you always good?" he asked smiling.

She looked him in the eyes. Bad idea, she thought, whenever she tried that, even when she was angry with him, she felt she could get lost in them. "What’s that supposed to mean?" Was he flirting with her? She was not enjoying being toyed with.

"Keesha, come on. What was the question? It seems that Ned and Alexis are here," he said changing the subject and let his eyes drift over to the door.

"Jax, I asked you a question," she said, but still received no response because Ned and Alexis came over.

"So, you’re finally back," Alexis said smiling. "Hi, Keesha," she said turning to her.

Keesha said hello to them both, but remained quiet as she all but glared at Jax. The look was not lost on Ned. He thought about commenting on it, but Alexis’ look told him to rethink that. Jax looked back over at her and smiled, causing her cold eyes to warm a little.

"It’s great to see that you’re back. We’ll talk to you both later," Alexis said taking Ned’s hand, as she was ready to leave the table.

"Yeah, maybe we could have dinner some night?" Ned suggested. That surprised everyone. Ned really didn’t have anything against Jax anymore, but he also didn’t go out of his way to be around him either. Ned knew this surprised them, but he felt some sort of protective role over Keesha, and he thought that she had feelings deeper than she displayed for Jax, he didn’t want to see her hurt. Maybe he didn’t have anything to worry about though, Keesha looked as though she could handle herself.

"That would be great," Keesha said smiling, "don’t you think so, Jax." She knew that he probably wouldn’t like that, so that is why she did it.

He still smiled, "That would be great," he said with the same amount of eagerness that she used in suggesting it. "Just contact us with a time, Ashton. I’m sure we will be able to accommodate you."

"I’ll call you. Have a wonderful night," Alexis said as she waved to them.

"Jax, I’m a little upset with you; I’m sure you know that," she said taking more than a sip of her wine. She even allowed him to refill her glass, which she usually never did. She didn’t like to drink; she supposed it was a throwback from her days with AJ. Jax would always order an entire bottle of wine, of which he would consume most of the contents. She was already on her third glass, and she knew she was about to reach her limit.

"You may want to slow down on that," he warned her. "We both know how you get when you’ve had too much wine," he joked.

She rolled her eyes at him. That was not true; he knew how she got, but she had no idea. Once long ago she had drunk too much, no, she had gotten drunk. She was sure she did some things she would probably not be proud of. It wasn’t like she got drunk in public. She was beginning there, but Jax took her back to his penthouse, and there she began really inebriated. He would not tell her what she had done, or tried to do, she hoped. That was the only thing that she was really embarrassed about.

"Did you drive here?"

"Of course I did. How else was I supposed to get here? Come on, Jax," she said smiling. She was feeling a little buzz.

"I think that it would be best if you stayed with me tonight," he said as he noted her starting on her fourth glass. She had once told him that she only drank when she was nervous. What could she possibly be nervous about?

She knew he was right. There was no way she could drive, and she didn’t want Jax to take her home, and chances were his chauffeur was off for the night. She nodded, "That will be fine. Could we go now, or do you want dessert?"

"No, I don’t, but why are you in such a big hurry. I thought we could stay here and get some of that good Port Charles gossip," he teased her.

Although the humor was not lost on her, she was in a serious mood. "We really need to do some talking, Jax. So, while I am still somewhat sober, I think that we should do that now."

"Okay," he said nodding and rising when she did. "I take it that you want me to bring the rest of the wine?"

She graced him with a smile and pressed a hand on his chest. "You’ve paid for it, and I think that I’m going to need it."

 

"How do you think Jax is doing?" Ned asked Alexis as he spotted the two of them leaving. He was certain Keesha was in love with him. He didn’t know if she was setting herself up for pain. Was Jax over Brenda?

"I really don’t know. He looks a lot better than I expected him to after his trip. Maybe he is over her, as much as can be anyway. I hope so, because he really needs to move on," Alexis said. "You’re worried about her, aren’t you?"

He looked back her and smiled. "Yes, I really am. After what’s happened with my two cousins and her, I don’t think that she should have to go through anything like that again. I guess since she is my cousin’s cousin, it’s almost like we’re related. And with all that’s happened in her family, I just don’t want her to get hurt by him. You understand, right?"

She leaned across the table and cradled his head and gave him a kiss. "Yes, I understand. I guess you’re just a wonderful person, Ned, to care so much. You still have the guardian tendency, and it’s quite endearing considering that I have it, too. I wouldn’t worry too much though, because if you think that Keesha has feelings for Jax, I would bet anything that he has some for her, too."

Ned sighed, "I don’t know, but for her sake, I hope so."

 

"Now," Jax said leaning back against the front of the couch as he sat on the floor. "You have something you wanted to discuss with me, right?"

She leaned back against the other couch. They sat on the floor with the wine bottle and two glasses between them. His was full while she had made a large dent in hers. She hated to do this today. He had just gotten back from out of town, and she was angry with him. That just didn’t seem right, but he would not be honest or open with her, so she had no choice.

Jax sighed, "I just got back into town, and already you’re mad at me, usually it takes me a couple of days to get on your bad side."

She looked at him now. "You have never been on my bad side," she said honestly. Maybe that was the problem. She was wrong to do this to him now. Although it had been over a year, what if it were too soon, and that would kill any chance they possibly could have. She was angry, but she couldn’t be angry with him, and not at herself. Who could she blame this on?

He smiled as he raised his glass to his lips. She watched the movement, and looked away again. "Well, that’s nice to hear. That still does not tell me why you are so cross with me."

She laughed this time. Leave it to Jax to say a word like that. The smile that played across his features told her that he used the word to purposely make her laugh. He always did those kinds of things. "Cross, Jax. Wow, that’s a word you don’t hear everyday. You’re so…" she stopped before she went any further.

"I’m so what?" he asked intrigued as he moved next to her. "What am I?" he asked softly as he draped an arm around her shoulders.

Usually his being in such close proximity was not a problem. She enjoyed when he was, actually, but tonight she couldn’t be sure of what she would do. She closed her eyes. "You are wonderful, Jax." Was her reply.

"And so are you," he said kissing her lightly on the check. When she opened her eyes, she found herself looking into his calming blue ones. "I think you know that, though, don’t you?" She shook her head. "Keesha, you are. I don’t know what I would have done this last year without you. You don’t think that I remember that it was one year ago today that you became the best friend that I’ve ever had. I do remember, you know. I even bought you a present."

"You did not," she said unbelievingly. She thought about the type of person he was though. Sometimes he would buy her things, expensive things, just because. "You did."

"I told you I did," he said rising from the floor. He went over to the desk and removed the small box. She was right, there was something different about him since he returned from the Alps. "Considering the fact that you’re angry with me," he said smiling as he joined her on the floor once again, "you may not want it."

She eyed him suspiciously as he still held onto the gift. He did not look as if he had any intention to give it to her. This definitely piqued her curiosity. What could the gift possibly be?

"I understand why you didn’t want to come with me. You say it was because you don’t want to ski, but under different circumstances, I think you would have come anyway." He smiled at her and she smiled back because that was true. "You thought I needed to be alone to deal with the anniversary of Brenda’s death in my own way. Well, depending on how you look at it, that was a good thing. Being alone helped me to think things out, and set my priorities straight. I really needed that. I also needed to put Brenda in my past. It’s funny; I was doing that little by little anyway. There were certain things about her that were hard for me remember because I didn’t obsess everyday on them. There is a reason for that, you."

She felt sad all of a sudden. She was causing Jax to forget Brenda. "I’m sorry, Jax. I didn’t mean to come between you and your memories of Brenda."

Jax shook his head, "That was not what I meant. You have not come between my memories of her and me. You have kept me sane and from going completely out of my mind. You have been honest when others have tried to spare my feelings. You are wonderful. I love you, Keesha," he said simply.

She placed a hand on his cheek, "And I love you, too, Jax." She said consolingly.

He shook his head, "No, I mean that I love you. I adore you. You are…my love. Before you say anything," he said noticing that she was about to speak. "That is the realization that I came to while I was away. I suppose that this has been building up for a while, but I just didn’t notice, or maybe I couldn’t distinguish it."

She stared at him now. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Surely he did not say that he loved her. It must have been the alcohol, but she knew that she wasn’t that drunk. She could feel her eyes begin to water, and she so much wanted to fight the tears, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to for long. She could not find her voice to say anything, so she just stared at him.

"I don’t know if the silence is a good sign, but for you, I think that it is," he said laughing nervously. He so wanted to know what she was thinking, what was going through her mind. Did she think that he had completely lost his mind, or did she think he was sincere? "Well, now that I have told you that, here is your gift," he said handing it to her. "Happy anniversary."

She took the gift from him without saying a word. She could do this very easily; she was completely sobered now. She quickly opened the box and found a smaller black velvet box. This could not be what she thought it was. She looked up at him, and she saw the concern on his face when he saw the obvious tears in her eyes. She looked down and opened the box. She gasped at what she saw. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen in her life. Wait a minute, she thought, she had seen this ring before. They went to a jewelry show, and she had remarked how beautiful it was.

"You did say that you liked that one, right?" Jax asked a little too cheerfully. He was afraid that she would say no, and he could understand if she did.

She nodded. After she stared at him and the ring, she finally found her voice. "Yes, I do. I love it, it is so magnificent."

He nodded. He took the box from her, and then he removed the ring from its nesting place. "I think it would look even better on your finger. But, I can understand if you don’t want to answer me right now. Or I have probably over stepped my bounds and I apologize if I have and this has ruined our close friendship. But, I had to try, to at least find out how you felt about me."

She didn’t say anything; she didn’t trust herself to. She faced him and cradled his head in her hands and kissed him. They had shared friendly kisses before, and some not so friendly, but none were like this one. She wanted him to know that she loved him, too, just as much as he loved her. She wanted him to know that she would be his wife, his lover, and his best friend. She pulled back and looked into his eyes, his warm, inviting, eyes. She nodded, "Yes, I will marry you, Jax. If you had any idea of how much I love you, you would not have had the least amount of doubt about my answer."

His eyes brightened, and she thought she had never seen anything so beautiful. He took her left hand and placed the ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit; he had no doubt that it wouldn’t be. That is where it belonged. "I will do everything I can to make you happy," he said pulling her close to him in an embrace.

"You won’t have to try too hard, because you already have." She let her tears flow freely now. She had never been so happy in her life. Nothing seemed as right as having Jax love her.

 

 

next
home
fullmoongraphics.com