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  You asked me to write about me. I don't talk about me. Others do. Maybe you should ask them. They'll tell you I'm a freak.


I am.


I wear sunglasses so you don't see me. You're afraid to look at me, I might be looking at you.


I'm not trying to hide my black and blues. You see them anyway.


I wear headphones, but there's no music. I can hear you talk about me.


I smile because you're afraid of me, not because I'm crazy. I smile because I'm in control.


I walk this way because no body cared enough to notice my limp until it was too late to fix. Not because I'm drunk. I can't seem to get drunk enough.


You call me smiley because I don't. I had 35 operations so far. I'm only 16.


You say I smell. It was raining last night and I slept on the subway. The cop made me put my boots back on and leave. My socks were still wet.


You don't know what to call me. I have too many names. I was born "baby girl" I was adopted by people who shouldn't have been allowed to ruin a life. They named me Kim Sari. I hate that name. It was never said with a smile.


You think I killed someone. The blood is mine. They stitched my lip to my gum again, and I couldn't smoke a cigarette. So I cut them.


You stare at my boots. So do I.


I did not try to kill myself. Those marks are from handcuffs. The ink barely came off of my fingers with vodka. Star gave me a pound of weed. I don't smoke. But I forgot it was in my jacket.


I was 10 when the drag queens dressed me up and named me Taryn. They said I looked like one. She asked me why I drew a T on my hand. I added a K and said it stood for Tiny Kim. I avoided a beating.


No, nobody broke my nose. They're still trying to reconstruct my face.


Yes, I like girls. Stop beating me for it.


I was sleeping outside of the school gate because she took my keys away again. Not because I was drunk. I still can't get drunk enough.


The showers in the gym don't work.


My hair is green because its St. Patricks day. It was orange on Halloween. Get it yet?


I slam dance to get out my anger. So I won't hit you.


I figured out a cool last name. Call me TJ. I really hate Kim. It makes me flinch. I'll have to wait til I'm legal to change it.


I'm wearing a target on my back because its easier for the sniper to find me in a crowd. Especially since the crutches slow me down.


There's 2 gangs in the park across the street from my building. They beat me every day because I won't blow them.


They let me shower at the YMCA. They think I'm a boy.


I get beat in the house because I get beat outside. She's right. I am worthless.


I love no one and I never cry.


I smell because I slept in Tompkins Square Park. I think I almost got drunk enough. I gave Joey my Harley wristband for a tourniquet. He puked on my boots.


It was my fault she said. They tried to rape me and I bit his dick. I asked for it. But I never talk?


I hang out at the Park Inn Tavern because they like me and buy me beer. They just want me to take them to the back room.


I laugh at psychiatrists. They don't get it. I don't need help.


This time you were right. She did give me those stitches. I forgot to empty the garbage.


I am alone because you are afraid of me. I like it. Go away.


I trip over my own feet because the bone fragments punctured my sinuses. My equilibrium is shot to hell. Its also the reason why I have to lay down all the time. I'll throw up. It doesn't happen when I drink.


I have a reputation in Alphabet City. I use women because they let me. They throw themselves at me. They want me to fuck them. I never let them down. I am in control.


Miriam Webster defines freak as such: "one that is markedly unusual or abnormal. OR a person or animal with a physical oddity who appears in a circus sideshow OR a sexual deviate"


See, I'm a freak.