asked me to write about me. I don't talk about me. Others do. Maybe
you should ask them. They'll tell you I'm a freak.
I wear sunglasses so you don't see me. You're afraid to look at me,
I might be looking at you.
I'm not trying to hide my black and blues. You see them anyway.
I wear headphones, but there's no music. I can hear you talk about
I smile because you're afraid of me, not because I'm crazy. I smile
because I'm in control.
I walk this way because no body cared enough to notice my limp until
it was too late to fix. Not because I'm drunk. I can't seem to get
You call me smiley because I don't. I had 35 operations so far. I'm
You say I smell. It was raining last night and I slept on the subway.
The cop made me put my boots back on and leave. My socks were still
You don't know what to call me. I have too many names. I was born
"baby girl" I was adopted by people who shouldn't have been allowed
to ruin a life. They named me Kim Sari. I hate that name. It was never
said with a smile.
You think I killed someone. The blood is mine. They stitched my lip
to my gum again, and I couldn't smoke a cigarette. So I cut them.
You stare at my boots. So do I.
I did not try to kill myself. Those marks are from handcuffs. The
ink barely came off of my fingers with vodka. Star gave me a pound
of weed. I don't smoke. But I forgot it was in my jacket.
I was 10 when the drag queens dressed me up and named me Taryn. They
said I looked like one. She asked me why I drew a T on my hand. I
added a K and said it stood for Tiny Kim. I avoided a beating.
No, nobody broke my nose. They're still trying to reconstruct my face.
Yes, I like girls. Stop beating me for it.
I was sleeping outside of the school gate because she took my keys
away again. Not because I was drunk. I still can't get drunk enough.
The showers in the gym don't work.
My hair is green because its St. Patricks day. It was orange on Halloween.
Get it yet?
I slam dance to get out my anger. So I won't hit you.
I figured out a cool last name. Call me TJ. I really hate Kim. It
makes me flinch. I'll have to wait til I'm legal to change it.
I'm wearing a target on my back because its easier for the sniper
to find me in a crowd. Especially since the crutches slow me down.
There's 2 gangs in the park across the street from my building. They
beat me every day because I won't blow them.
They let me shower at the YMCA. They think I'm a boy.
I get beat in the house because I get beat outside. She's right. I
I love no one and I never cry.
I smell because I slept in Tompkins Square Park. I think I almost
got drunk enough. I gave Joey my Harley wristband for a tourniquet.
He puked on my boots.
It was my fault she said. They tried to rape me and I bit his dick.
I asked for it. But I never talk?
I hang out at the Park Inn Tavern because they like me and buy me
beer. They just want me to take them to the back room.
I laugh at psychiatrists. They don't get it. I don't need help.
This time you were right. She did give me those stitches. I forgot
to empty the garbage.
I am alone because you are afraid of me. I like it. Go away.
I trip over my own feet because the bone fragments punctured my sinuses.
My equilibrium is shot to hell. Its also the reason why I have to
lay down all the time. I'll throw up. It doesn't happen when I drink.
I have a reputation in Alphabet City. I use women because they let
me. They throw themselves at me. They want me to fuck them. I never
let them down. I am in control.
Miriam Webster defines freak as such: "one that is markedly unusual
or abnormal. OR a person or animal with a physical oddity who appears
in a circus sideshow OR a sexual deviate"
See, I'm a freak.