©
Starbright 2001 - The
Young Riders is an Ogiens/Kane Production, created by Ed Spielman. I
only
borrow his characters for fun. No
infringement of copyright intended.
There is absolutely no financial gain for the scribbler.
Story also found at The Rival Riders
"Kid?" Jimmy peered over the steaming coffee mug, sore after an entire week's riding, wet after a long night of rain out in the wild. Exasperated and angry at Kid for his obstinate keeping to the route, if they had done what Jimmy wanted, they'd be two days shorter to home by now. But of course, it was Kid and he always did what was asked, he took the safer route. "You know if we'd taken the shortcut we would be home by now."
The rain kept coming down, drizzling annoyingly over them. Worsening Jimmy's mood by the minute. If he had had his way they'd be right outside Rock Creek now. The bunkhouse in sight, food on the table. Dry clothes, a bed to sleep in. Right now he would have done almost anything to have just that.
"Or dead, Jimmy, I ain't riding through Sioux ground since they're on the warpath. No way I am, not with what I think is in the mail."
Kid was peering back at him over the edge, just as obstinate as ever. Jimmy just glared at him, doubtfully. He knew Kid had no idea what was in the mail, just hunches. And the man was willing to get soaked, starve and probably get a fever because he had a hunch? "You know what Kid, suit yourself, I'm taking the shorter trail. I'm tired of this!"
Kid looked at him, saying nothing, but the reprimand was clear as a day. And it got under Jimmy's skin. Oddly it seemed that most things Kid said and did lately got right under Jimmy's skin. Ever since that day he had kissed Lou, and Lou had turned to Kid. It had been like a bullet straight through his heart. But the more he thought about it, the more it bothered him. It was a strange sense of guilt and need. Need to have a woman like Lou by his side. Like Mills said; she was woman enough for him. Woman enough for anybody. Guilt that he had let his emotions take over, Lou was Kid's in an odd manner. Even if they weren't officially together, the bond was there. Stronger than anything he had seen, and it felt like something he would never have. Not like that. And he felt like he betrayed Kid too, like he was betraying everyone with his wishes and his love. Maybe he was betraying himself too? Maybe the fact that he actually needed another human being would turn out to be his biggest mistake? His love for a woman he worked alongside with, a woman that loved his best friend. A situation so awkward it severed both relationships. He found it hard to talk around Kid, since he seemed to pick up all kinds of things in an eerie manner. This past week there had been several occasions Jimmy was sure Kid knew about his feelings for Louise, there was something about Kid that told Jimmy he knew far too much. And Louise! After what had happened he felt guilty like a dog. He shouldn't have acted the way he did, grabbing her. It wasn't right, he was not the man she needed. Or was he? No, she needed Kid, not a chance to get shot in her back just because she was with the wrong man. It had happened before, and it would again. He'd have to get her out of his mind. `He'd have to get what happened out of his mind, how good it felt to hold her, how good it felt riding with her. That connection that was so rare. Like the one he had with Kid, on a different level, but all the same. They were both important to him. More important than he cared to admit.
Kid said nothing, he simply rose and threw the last of his coffee on the fire that was barely burning any longer, a single flame flared up in protest, to then die out. Drenched by the drizzling rain.
Jimmy followed as Kid turned to walk up to the horses tied under the trees. Katy scraped her hoof against the ground as her owner ran his hand over her wet mane. Jimmy frowned. Kid and his horse, it was ridiculous really. "What's her highness sayin'? Can we go already? Or does she need an extra portion of corn?"
Kid chuckled and threw him a glance; "well Katy, what'ya think, you ready to go? Coz' uncle Jimmy is in an awful mood today, we better keep on his good side. That is if he eventually finds it."
Jimmy couldn't help but smile at the remark. Kid had picked up his mood all right, as always. But he hadn't picked up the reasons, and he knew he'd better be as far away from Kid as possible when he finally did. Because he would. Eventually. Kid always did. And Jimmy knew it would probably shatter their friendship. Forever. They'd probably be able to oversee all kinds of differences, but Kid would never forgive him for loving Lou the way he did. There was no denying it, at least not to himself. He had been trying that for so long. But telling her? Yelling anybody? Suddenly the future seemed as gray and hopeless as the surroundings. Draining, nothing else. Just a gray foggy mist, with disasters and heartache behind every corner.
He sighed as he turned to Sundancer, removing the wet blanket off the horse. Frowning at the wetness of the saddle underneath. This would be a hell of a ride.
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He watched his friend's drawn face with preoccupation. Jimmy had been in a lousy mood these past weeks. Ever since they returned from the trip ending in Mill's getting hung. It was like the trip and the outcome had fermented Jimmy's somber outlook on life. Or like Lou said, he probably saw himself in Mills. Slipping further and further away from them, refusing to talk. Keeping to himself.
Kid sighed and drew the reins over Katy's head, preparing to mount. The mochilla safely tucked inside his coat. As it moved and reminded him that it was his fault they still were out in the rain, a two whole days ride from home, he felt guilty. He hadn't been able to explain it properly to Jimmy, but he felt that if they were caught by the Sioux carrying this mail, it would be the end of them. It had never been said, but the face of the officer handing them the parcel, the looks they got as they walked out. Everything told him that what they were carrying was not an ordinary shipment. It was something far more dangerous. Probably for the Sioux too, and he felt all but proud carrying it. That must have been why Teaspoon sent him instead of Buck on this trip. There was no other explanation. But he hadn't been able to explain to Jimmy that it was a hunch that had made him drag Jimmy wide around the plains, into the cold and drizzling rain. With only coffee left.
The breaking of twigs had Kid look up, the rain suddenly having increased.
"That's it Kid, I've had it, I'm going over Black Rock!" Jimmy looked at him, letting him know he was not in the mood for a lengthy discussion. He obviously wasn't in the mood for any discussion at all. Sundancer took off in a slow canter, distancing them in only a few strides.
Kid bit down on his lip and cursed. Momentarily remaining where he was at, he considered letting Jimmy go off on his own. He'd let him ride over the Sioux ground, after all he didn't carry the mochilla. He'd probably make it all right. But then again, it was Jimmy , and the mood he had been in lately didn't promise good.
He wiped the rain from his eyes and told Katy to follow. Knowing he broke a promise he had made accepting this ride. But Jimmy was more important than that, Jimmy needed someone to watch his back right now, because he wasn't himself. He needed to look out for Jimmy, like Jimmy so often had looked out for him.
And with any luck they would be home safe by tonight or early in the morning at worst.
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Jimmy groaned when he realized he had to slow down. There was no other option. The ground was getting slippery of the rain, and the mountains were rising steeply in front of them. That was, the little he could make out of anything further than a couple of feet ahead of him.
"Geez Jimmy, ya know it'll take us far longer to walk home, and with a couple of broken legs it'll probably take forever." The strained voice reaching from behind was all but content.
Kid appeared at his side, Katy foaming from the hard ride the past couple of hours. But she still moved easily, ears perked and head held high. The rider on her back was another chapter entirely. Even his hat was sloping. He was dripping wet, face covered in dirt from having ridden behind Jimmy. The mud now sliding down slowly, leaving streaks of dirt behind.
"And here I thought all you were worrying 'bout was Indians?" Jimmy had to smile, his friend sure was a sight. And his sunny deposition seemed washed away entirely.
"As opposed to you worryin' 'bout nothin?" Kid snarled while wiping his face.
"Write that up," Jimmy chuckled and steered Sundancer up the slope. "Nobody likes a worrywart."
"Yeah, everybody just gotta love a hothead, specially the companions that are forced to watch his back."
Jimmy decided not to mind Kid's remark, he leaned forward to help his horse climb more easily. The rain muffled all sounds, just as efficiently as it seemed to narrow the track. The mist was thick around them, thick and cold.
"Who would be crazy enough to get out in this rain Kid? There's nobody here." He shouted at the companion following a few steps behind.
"Funny, last time I counted I distinctly counted two. And it might be just like with rattlers."
Jimmy turned to look at his friend, wondering if he was getting delirious? "Rattlers?"
"When you see one there are ten others around in hiding. Don't tell me you didn't know that Jimmy."
"There's no rattlers out in this rain," Jimmy determined, "just us two fools."
"Two fools that outta be miles away from here."
Jimmy turned and watched the figure on the horse behind him. He too bowed over Katy, letting his weight balance over the frontlegs, the hat drawn deep over his face.
Jimmy knew Kid would beat the living lights out of him if something went wrong on this trip. And he would have every right to. Suddenly Jimmy didn't feel so sure any more. But he would never let Kid know.
Sundancer's hooves started to slide dangerously. The horse slid backwards, trying frenetically to get a grip on the loose ground with his fronthooves. But there was not enough solid ground. Jimmy threw himself off the horse as it finally bumped into Katy with its rear. Katy raised her head irritably and stepped backwards, snorting loudly at the behavior of her companion.
Kid dismounted and drew the reins over Katy's head. Clearly stating that he intended to walk until they came onto steadier ground. Jimmy sighed and did the same, stumbling over stones on the path, occasionally sliding down a bit, taking a hold of Sundancer's saddle to regain his balance. The horse steadier now, having gotten rid of the burden.
"Happy now?" Jimmy asked the fellow rider, miffed at the thought of Kid's gloating about the temporary slowing down of their pace.
"Delirious," Kid stated dryly behind him.
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Kid couldn't believe Jimmy's refusal to see reason and stop to make camp, or at least find some kind of shelter. The water poured down, making rivulets in the mud, causing them to stumble and slide. They weren't making much progress, if this kept up they would soon fund themselves downhill again. Or on the bottom of the canyon, to the vultures' delight.
"At least somebody will get their bellies full," he groaned out loud to himself.
"What?"
"Just looking forward to feeding the vultures," Kid clarified in Jimmy's direction. Glad that even Jimmy looked about ready to give in by now. Something they should have done an hour or so ago, while they still knew where they were at. Kid had the distinct feeling they were walking in circles, getting nowhere, certainly not home.
"You think we should stop and take a break?" Jimmy asked, "I think there's some shelter further up, looks like a cave or something."
"Oh no Jimmy, ya mean you're taking a breather? You're not serious ar'ya, so close to home? Dinner might get cold."
By the look on Jimmy's face Kid gathered he didn't appreciate the sarcasm at this point. He just turned and stumbled on, further up the hill.
For a moment Kid contemplated drawing his gun and shooting Jimmy in the foot, at least that ought to slow him down. But then he realized his gun was probably soaked through too. Which meant that they were walking around unarmed on Sioux territory, easy prey for anybody out there. They had virtually nothing to defend themselves with. The realization made a chill run down his spine..
A huge mass of mud came sliding toward him, forcing him to step to the side, straight into a puddle reaching well over his ankle. Something black lay atop the mud. Something that let out a series of invectives, a hand searching for something to hold on to.
Kid grabbed the back of the coat and jerked the spitting Jimmy up to his knees. "A slight exaggeration," he moaned while trying to get Jimmy to his feet.
"What?"
"Walking," Kid groaned, too tired to get into explaining his line of thought, "is a slight exaggeration."
"Eh?" Jimmy seemingly had no idea what he was talking about, which didn't surprise Kid the leastest. Jimmy had to use an awful lot of strength just to keep himself from following the mud downhill.
"You realize we're in the middle of Sioux ground and totally unarmed?" He finally got a firm grip on Jimmy's collar, dragging him out of the mudslide. "I was thinking ....
Somehow the ground disappeared form under his feet and he found himself sliding, stopped only by the reins in his hand. And Katy standing on firm ground. Angrily he clawed himself up and got a new grip on Jimmy's collar: "Happy now?"
"Delirious," Jimmy responded and pointed to the dark hillside, "look!"
Kid saw absolutely nothing but a thick mist and eternally pouring rain. And a lonely tree by the rocky wall. "Jimmy, you're seeing things, there's nothing there!"
But Jimmy was already making his way back up the same way they had slid down before. Then he disappeared, and Sundancer behind him. All of a sudden there was absolutely no sign of either of them. Kid blinked twice.
Then Katy seemed to get renewed energy and dragged him along too, up the hill until Kid found himself face to face with a grinning Jimmy.
"Get inside you fool!"
It was more Katy's decision than his own that made him step into the cave-like opening. The pitch-black cave in the middle of nowhere. For a moment he just breathed, enormously relieved that the ground under his feet seemed stable. A feeling he had almost forgotten due to the past hours crawling in mud.
He eyed the dark surroundings, it wasn't much of a sanctuary. It was maybe fifteen feet deep and just slightly wider. But there was no rain. Except the drops that kept falling from the brim of his hat, a hat he suspected would never be itself after this trip.
"You happy now?" Jimmy grinned with obvious self-appreciation.
"Delirious," Kid muttered as Katy decided to get rid of the excess water on her drenched appearance. Most of it landing on Kid, not that it made much of a difference.
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"There's no coffee left," Jimmy muttered as he went through his saddlebag, finding absolutely nothing left to eat. But the dreaded can he was determined to avoid. He hoped Kid had some bread left at least. He would about sell his soul to the devil for something to calm the ache in his belly. He'd even sell Kid's if he was promised some of Rachel's food right now. The thought of a hot stew, baked rolls and a pie with whipped cream made his mouth water. He leaned up against the hard wall and groaned.
"You gettin' that fire started?"
Trust Kid to take you back to reality, Jimmy thought, Oh spare me all the gloating I'm gonna have to sustain.
"I got one dry blanket Jimmy, here you take it!"
Baffled Jimmy looked at the man handing him a undeniably dry blanket. "What about you?"
"I'll be fine," Kid said and sank down by the damp twigs they had found scattered around the floor. And a pile of wood some foreseeing soul had placed inside the cave. Without a word he bent over to find the driest ones, starting the fire. It took its own sweet time, long enough to let Jimmy get out of his wet coat and shirt, to then drape himself in the coarse blanket. He felt a mixture of gratitude and shame. It was Kid's blanket, he had all the right in the world to use it himself. But Kid decided to give it to him instead. Glancing over to the horses in the other end of the gorge he thought of something to say to Kid. Something that would brake the silence. The horses munched on their corn, covered in blankets, looking very content. Obviously not suffering from any kind of bad conscience. Jimmy morosely dried his hair with one end of the blanket. He felt slightly better after that.
Kid sighed and rose to his haunches, looking for more wood to put on the panting fire. When he bent over water from his hair dripped on the flames and made them wheeze. Jimmy turned to his saddlebag, knowing he had something that would be considered a treasure in there. He pulled it out, covered with a wrapping of heavy paper. Another piece that would come in handy, it would at least get the fire started just fine..
"Get it on Kid!" He handed him the new shirt, a thick woolen shirt. The one he had bought and been thinking off the whole way, wishing he had put it on.
Kid just looked up at him, shaking his head; "no use Jimmy."
"What'ya mean no use?" Jimmy got mad, here he was trying to help out and all he heard was 'no use'? "Take those damned things off you, Lou's gonna ....
There, he had said it. He had actually taken the name into his mouth and spit it out before he had a chance to stop himself. The name they both had tried not to utter for an entire week. And Kid just stared blankly at him, like awaiting for him to finish the sentence. But Jimmy had no intention to step into the wolves' den, no intention whatsoever. Instead he rose to his feet and peeled the blanket off himself, throwing it to Kid and finally getting himself into the brand new shirt.
Then he sank back to his place near the small fire and rubbed his hands together. All the while Kid kept his gaze on him, a relentless wondering. His silence one of the more talkative kinds.
"Lou's gonna kill me if I don't get you home," Jimmy finally said. Worn out but the inquisitory look on Kid's face. "Hand me that coffee pot, I'll heat some water at least."
"What happened back there?"
Jimmy groaned inwardly, trust Kid to cut to the chase. "What'ya talking about?"
"You know what I'm talkin' 'bout Jimmy, lay off it. We've been avoiding it for too long already. You and Lou, what happened, what is happening?"
Jimmy decided to play stupid, he wasn't particularly fond of the decision but that seemed the safest way out of the current situation. He had no wish to be at the receiving end of Kid's fists once again, and he surely had no strength to defend himself in a situation like that. "Kid, I think it's time we heat the last can of beans."
"I thought you said we were all out?"
"All out of food I said, I don't think I will ever see beans as food ever again. Baked beans in tomato-sauce is just not dignified enough to call food. If I at least had a rabbit."
"Changing' topics here are we Jimmy?" Kid's tone was flat and rather sarcastic. But Jimmy let it slide.
"We ain't got no salt or pepper left thou' so it'll taste even worse than usual, like something you'd cook," Jimmy grinned.
"Or like something Lou'd cook," Kid smiled.
Jimmy was caught off guard he actually laughed out loud at the statement. Yes Louise was an awful cook, actually the worst of them all. Even Kid managed to boil water on his more lucid days, Jimmy wasn't sure Lou would manage as much.
"So you love her?" Kid asked seriously.
Jimmy choked on his laughter, the half opened can in his hand shivering.
"Why her Jimmy?"
Jimmy placed the can over the flames, decided to avoid Kid's scrutination best he could. Which wasn't easy since they were sitting no more than five feet apart. "Kid, what the hell are you talking 'bout? I don't love..."
"I've seen the way you look at her Jimmy, I've seen the way you see to it you sit close to her around the dinner table, I've seen the two of you talk. I'm not a fool Jimmy, I know. And I know something happened that day, I just know it."
The steely blue eyes that met his over the fire told him he'd have to let Kid know the truth, he owed him that much. He'd figure it out anyhow. "I kissed her," he said plainly. Not knowing what to expect.
Jimmy watched the steely blue eyes look down, then Kid moved slightly, repositioning himself to get closer to the fire. Knowing Kid Jimmy knew he had to tell him the whole story. Everything. Even if it would turn out to be the last tale he'd tell in this lifetime.
"See Kid, that night, I was miserable. I kept seeing Elias and thinking I might end up like him too. Couldn't sleep, kept tossing and turning. I envied you too, you know, coz' you and Lou, well you know. Before, when you got shot and we had to ride on without you I saw how worried Lou was about you. Oh, she hid it well but I know her. I wondered how it would feel to have someone worry about me like that. I wondered how it would be to know you're loved like that. You know what I mean, to be important to somebody. So I lie there and tried to figure out what the future would be like. But all I saw was a fate much like Elias Mills'. Lou woke and came over to talk to me, like she does, you know. Making it all better. Then I don't now what happened, she tried to kiss me goodnight and I just took advantage of that. I kissed her. It just happened. It wasn't planned or anything, it just happened."
"Then what?"
"What'ya mean then what? That man jumped us, you know that, Elias got away and the rest is no big secret, now is it?"
"I meant the two of you, then what?"
"Dammit Kid, you have no cause to worry, you saw what happened then. She turned to you. She could just as easily have turned to me, but she turned to you. That's what happened, you damned fool!"
The red sticky tomato sauce was bubbling inside the can, parts of it pushing over the edge and falling onto the brace with a wheeze, awakening the flares. Emphasizing the darkness in the damp cave, deepened further by the darkness settling outside.
"Why her Jimmy? Why'd you have to fall in love with her?"
Jimmy took a stick from the edge of the fire and placed the end to the metal can, Slowly he eased it off the heat, onto the rock. He didn't know what to say to Kid, he truly didn't know. Of course he shouldn't have fallen for his best friend's girl. It was kind of a unspoken law. It was the honorable thing to do, problem was that when it came to Lou he didn't feel very honorable. He wanted her by his side, plain and simple. "Well, you weren't together at the time and..."
"Dammit Jimmy, I still love her. You know that, you bloody well knew that all along, you could have picked any other girl, God knows you've had a lot of them hanging around you. Why the hell did you have to choose the woman I love?" .Kid voice was a low rumble of withheld anger, it wasn't a question that needed an answer, it was a unmistakable warning for Jimmy to back off. But Jimmy didn't feel he had to heed.
"I didn't choose Kid, it just happened."
"Like everything with you, right Jimmy?"
Jimmy was surprised at the evenness in Kid's voice, it showed no emotion at all. And that was more frightening than if Kid had stood up and poured the content of the can over him. The look in his friend's eyes had him boil over. It spoke of superiority, like Kid felt he had something Jimmy utterly lacked. It was more than Jimmy could handle right now. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what it says Jimmy, you have no control whatsoever."
"Well Kid, I hate to tell you this but there's nothing women hate more than a man that sits around pondering instead of acting. You should have seen it coming!"
"I bet they just love being one in a long row, right? How many has it been since I've known you? Heck I've even forgotten their names already. How about you Jimmy? Remember all the names of the women you 'loved'?"
He absolutely hated Kid right then and if the situation had been different he would have punched him out. Kid knew him far too well, he knew all the right buttons to push. What to say to get him close to flying of the handle. And it was just what he waited for too, just to prove his point. But Jimmy was too tired and too cold. Too sick of it all. Instead of punching his friend's lights out he smiled at him; "At least I stick to women Kid, I ain't engaged to a horse!"
"I knew that would come!" Kid pointed his finger over the flames. "That joke is gettin' old Jimmy!"
"Maybe old but still true no?"
"So if Cody wrote it, it becomes the truth? So then what about Marcus Jimmy? Is that the truth too?"
Jimmy stared at Kid for a moment, not finding any words. He absolutely hated the way Kid sometimes twisted everything around. Made him speechless. It was like the first day he met the Kid, he just knew he had met his match back then. Somebody that showed no fear, somebody that thought he was better then all the rest. Something that later on had proved wrong.
"Get the canteen Kid, the beans are done."
Kid rose and walked over to the saddle by the wall. Jimmy held his eyes open just in case Kid would turn with his gun drawn. Sometimes it took a little bit longer for Kid to react, but when he reacted it was just deadly. So Jimmy kept his eyes on him, just in case.
But Kid just pulled the canteen from the leather strap and walked the few steps back to the fire. Tossing the requested item over to Jimmy in the process. Still silent he sank down by the fire, stretching his legs in front and leaning back onto his elbows.
Jimmy motioned for the can but Kid shook his head. Denying the offer. Jimmy sighed inwardly and dug into the tasteless concoction. He forced half of it down. Even as hungry as he felt right now, the beans they had every single day for an entire week, disgusted him deeply. Washing them down with stale water didn't help much. He placed the tin can down by Kid's side. "Eat!" He ordered.
No movement from the man sprawled on the other side of the fire.
"Eat dammit! If I had to force it down so will you."
The hunger must have gotten he better of Kid, he actually took the can and stirred the content before spooning it down. Jimmy felt he had won a little victory in what might turn out to be a lengthy war. A war he had never intentioned to start. A war that was inevitable. He should have seen it coming. He should have know that his feelings for Lou would have crashed his friendship with Kid. But he couldn't help loving her. He'd never know exactly when it had started, it had kind of crept up on him. Until that day by the fire. When she looked at him and smiled. Making him feel better about himself. The way her hair reflected the fire, castane highlight in the dark night. Her proximity. The promise of a normal life. The promise of love. Her lips on his, her small form in his arms. The strength in her, the .....
"See too it it don't fade out!"
Bewildered Jimmy looked at Kid: "What?"
"I was talking 'bout the fire," Kid replied dryly.
Jimmy was left staring as the man on the other side of another fire repositioned himself for some well needed sleep. For a moment Jimmy had been back in that moment, the moment he kissed Lou by the fire, a memory he would forever cherish, and dread. It was the point when things started to change. For him, maybe for Lou and even for Kid. He marveled at Kid's calm, it didn't seem right. Shaking his head he rose to walk over and borrow one of the blankets from Sundancer, he'd have to make it with one during the night.
The horse stood calmly by the opposite wall, drinking from a pool of water that had leaked in from outside. The blanket almost dry by now. They must have been hours in the cave. Katy stood by Sundancer's side, ears perked. "It's all right Katy," Jimmy muttered to the mare. "It'll be all right in the morning."
But when he settled back down by the fire he felt all but sure that everything would be all right in the morning. The rock under his head was killing him, angrily he drew the saddlebag under his head. The rain continued to pour down outside. He stared out into the darkness. And remembered Lou.
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He woke with a start, immediately sensing something was up, but he did not know what. The night was still outside, the rain had stopped. The crispness in the air made him shiver. It just didn't seem right , this coldness this time of year. It was eerie, the whole place was eerie, he just wanted to get away from here as soon as possible. But it was still pitch-dark outside, not any light whatsoever to guide them out of here.
The howl made him jerk into a sitting position, his heartbeat rising. The sound echoing in the cave, making his skin rise into goose-bumps. His hand shot out automatically and grasped Jimmy's upper arm hard. "Wolves!"
Jimmy was up in the blink of an eye, always a light sleeper and fast to react. Kid noticed the glimmer of the gun in Jimmy's hand, a a fraction of a second later he heard the gun cock.
"Jimmy, no!"
The incredulous face Jimmy made was expected, you always had to explain things to Jimmy, he didn't care to take one step back and think about the situation. He was all reaction. But this situation demanded some thought. "Jimmy, if you shoot they'll know we're here!"
"They who?" Jimmy hissed.
"Everybody," Kid explained and crawled to the opening while another howl filled the air. It was like a premonition of death, the long wail of the wolves stirred all kinds of fear inside him. Together with memories of another time, back in Virginia, the starless nights in wintertime, the wolves getting closer, the tales spun.
How many are there?" Jimmy yelled as another howl followed the first, seeming to start up a chorus of answers. "And how close are they?"
"Too many for us to shoot Jimmy, you won't even see them in the dark. I don't think we have enough bullets!"
"Jesus Kid, we have no way out!"
"The fire Jimmy, we have the fire!"
Jimmy reacted immediately, he turned back, gripping a stick of wood that hadn't been totally engulfed by the flames yet. He cursed at the heat. Crawling back he flicked the burning wood out into the dark. The flames seemed to sail through the air, lighting up the surroundings with flicking flames before the log fell to the ground and remain still. The flames panting, the fire wheezing at the contact with the grass around it. The flames turning bluish, more subdued, dying out slowly. The braces remaining to glow for a couple of minutes. Until the dampness finally killed it and restored the darkness.
But Kid had seen enough. In the brief arch of time the flames had lightened the ground he had counted at least ten glimmering eye pairs out in the dark. Movements further back told him there were even more in hiding, there were too many to count. But the fire seemed to hold them at bay.
He broke a sturdy twig form the tree next to the gorge, shaking the rain off it before he turned to set it on fire.
"What you doin' Kid?" Jimmy muttered impatiently.
"Keeping them at bay Jimmy, we'll just have to wait until morning till we at least can see 'em! Till we can see anything."
The leaves screamed in protest, dancing over the braces before the heat finally took over and the flames engulfed the end of the branch. Kid watched the fire, wondering if it would sustain the dampness outside, or die out just as the log tossed into the night. That fire had been bigger, and still it had not sustained the humidity. The tentative flames on the end of the stick would probably die out just as soon as brought outside. But they had no other alternative, not at the moment.
He looked at Jimmy standing in the opening, the fire highlighting his back, and the gun in his hand. A gun that if shot would tell every tribe that they were there, consacrating their land. Kid realized it might be stepping from braces into open fire.
"Jimmy?" He moved to stand by his side, watching for the fire not to die out.
"The moon Kid!"
He looked at Jimmy, wondering what he was on to. But then the faze of the fire inside started to lift and he saw the clouds starting to crack. The blackness above them faltering, clouds' lines emerging with a soft yellow light from behind. It was just as eerie as everything else about this night. Nothing seemed normal any longer. The chill outside contrasting sharply with the heat from inside the cave. The light of the fire seeming to reach further out. Like it was calling to the moon.
Kid shook his head at his own whirling thoughts. He wasn't even sure if he was awake or not. Standing there watching the moon slowly emerge and lighten the tree-crowns ahead of them he decided he must be dreaming, there was no other explanation for this. It was some kind of odd dream, and it would be all right in the end.
"Kid look!"
Kid followed Jimmy's gaze and held his breath for a moment. A huge wolverine was approaching them from the side, showing no fear. Behind her came a pair of puppies, one of them trotting along happily, making joyful attacks at his mother's hindlegs. A few feet behind another pup was struggling to keep up. His right hindleg dragging behind.
Kid looked at the scene, the majestic wolverine walking slowly, eyes on them. Glimmering in the moonlight. The rest of the wolves moved to form a half-circle around the wolverine and the pups. Silently they moved toward the wolverine, closing in on them. Kid felt all his muscles tense up. His breath becoming shorter. Jimmy's hand lifted the gun slightly.
"Jimmy, no," Kid begged again.
At the sound of the human voice the wolverine sat down, directly in front of them, no more tha n twenty feet away. Kid glanced over at Jimmy, meeting with eyes contemplating the possible loss of his own sanity. Kid wanted to tell his friend not to worry, Jimmy was just a guest in his crazy dream and he would see to it nothing happened. But then he realized the insanity of such an action. He decided to follow the dream instead.
The injured pup sank down to his side, panting from he effort to drag his hindleg.
"That pup needs help," Kid said and bowed to stick the end of the branch into the loose ground at his feet. "I gotta go see if I can help."
"Are you out of your mind Kid?" Jimmy's voice expressed more than astonishment, it was like a confirmation of the fact that Kid had gone out of his mind. For good.
"Jimmy it's a pup, it's close, I'll just see if there's something I can do." Without waiting for an answer he proceeded to the pup laying fully visible on the ground. He heard Jimmy follow behind, his gun cocked and directed to the wolverine. Kid sank down on his knees besides the pup. It yelped and tried to drag itself away from him. Kid stopped it with his hands around the clawing front legs. "I think the leg is dislocated Jimmy, we just have to snap it to it's place, don't seem broken."
"Of all the stupid things you've done Kid, this must be the most stupid ever!" Jimmy sank down at his side, his eyes never leaving the wolverine.
"Jimmy, please, let that gun go and hold his legs."
"I can't believe this is happening," Jimmy muttered but put the gun to rest besides his left knee. Close enough o grab at any movement of the wolves surrounding them. The sane pup had stilled too, it now sat by its mother's flank, watching them intently. "Just see too it, you get it done with the first try."
"Jimmy, just hold him, I gotta get the bone to click back into..." The sound followed immediately, and Kid remain with his hands on the pup, too surprised to move as the hindleg fell into place with the characteristic click he'd heard so long ago when his brother had helped their neighbor's dog.
Jimmy let go off the flailing paws but Kid held on, he didn't want to let the pup rise and run just yet. It might dislocate the leg once again in a heartbeat. And getting it back again was not to think of, at least Jed had said so.
"Let go Kid, let it run."
"But Jimmy..."
"Kid! Now, let it go!"
In the same instance Jimmy spoke the words the pup swirled around and buried it's teeth in Kid's thumb. With a curse he finally let go.
"It bit you?" Jimmy asked, "geez Kid I told you to let go. You can't keep someone that wont be kept."
"It might just run and get it all dislocated again," Kid protested, his eyes following the pup running up to its mother. The pace seemed even and steady. It sank down to sit at its mother's side, the tail moving vigorously.
"Well if it does it's not your fault, now is it?"
Kid lifted his hand to the light and grimaced at the sight of the signs the teeth had left on his hand. And he realized this was no dream, and they had all the reasons in the world to be scared out of their wits.
"I think I've seen it all now," Jimmy said shaking his head, going for the gun.
"Not yet son."
The voice seemed to come from the wolverine, or at least from somewhere in her direction. It sounded hollow. Kid glanced over at Jimmy, his friend's eyes glued to the animal highlighted by the moonshine. So Jimmy had heard it too?
"You both have a long way to go before you've seen it all, There's so much in this world you haven't seen, or refused to see."
Jimmy moved nervously, his hand on the gun twitching reflexively. Kid grabbed hold of the gun and forced it to point to the ground.
"You son, who believes in the force of the gun, it can be turned against you. Be ware and reflect, use both your heart and mind, don't let one rule the other."
Jimmy moved forward, his face ashen in the pale light, his lips pressed tight together. Kid moved his hand to his arm, holding him back. "Jimmy, no!"
"And you son, you have to learn to let go. You have to learn to allow the fear, you can't control everything, son. There's no need for you to even try. Let it go son."
The words had Kid let the grip on Jimmy's arm go. He sat down in surprise, staring at the wolverine, the moon fading fast, only the paws now visible. The words spoken was like a slap to his face. They shook his ground.
The sky grew darker as the sound of paws moving away from them rustled the leaves and broke twigs. The air seeming to fill with the agile movements of the wolves moving away. In a last trial of the moon to brake though it threw a cascade of light down on them, illuminating the wolverine with the pups. She stopped and looked back at them. Time seemed to stand still, Kid couldn't take his eyes of the sight before him. The wolves moving away, the wolverine standing in the vanishing light, looking at them.
"The wolverine will choose."
Then the moon gave up and the light was gone, the darkness seemed thicker than before. The triangle of light seeping out from the opening in the rock flickering uneasily.
Kid heard his own heartbeat clear as a day. It was all he heard. The night as still as ever, not even the usual sounds of night birds were present. There was nothing but a flickering light and his heartbeat. And Jimmy, sitting by his side, the face pale and lips a thin line. Kid felt like he couldn't mover. Finally the cold penetrated his daze.
"Jimmy. Let's get inside."
His friend rose without a word, following him inside, stopping to take two logs from the pile they had found. The cave illuminated by the renewed force of their fire.
Kid sank down on the blanket he had left behind, trying to steady the beat of his heart and the tremor of his hands. At the sound of Jimmy by the fire he looked up at his friend, hoping to get an explanation.
Jimmy's face was blank and his eyes black. Their eyes met momentarily but neither of them found anything to say. There was absolutely nothing that would explain what had just happened. Nothing that any sane people would ever believe anyway.
Kid drew the blanket over his head and lay down on the rocky ground. The words 'let it go' echoing in his mind.
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The rising sun tickled his eyes, he tried to move away from it and get some more sleep. He was still tired to the bones. The hard rock underneath him had him groan and remember where he was at. When he opened his eyes and his spotted the braces in the fire the memories of the night showered him. He sat up, shaking his head. Not believing the images that swirled in his mind. Images of wolves and Kid and him helping a pup? It was plain crazy, it must have been a dream.
He looked at the horses standing peacefully further inside the cave and smiled. If a wolves had been closer than a mile to them the horses would have taken off, no question about it. He had been dreaming all right. He chuckled at himself as he rose to check on the horses. Thinking about the words he remembered form the dream, 'the wolverine will choose'. What was that supposed to mean?
Peering out into the bright sunshine he smiled when he noticed Kid's uneasy movements and the curse as he sat up and wiped his eyes.
"Let's get outta here Kid, the horses are ready and we don't even have any coffee left. Let's go home."
Kid scrambled to his feet and made a face as he struggled to get into his still damp shirt. With an angry mutter he bowed to take the blankets and roll them to fit behind the saddle. His moves were slow and stiff, just like Jimmy felt. He grinned a compassionate grin to his friend as the man stumbled over to his mare and removed her blanket. Katy nickered with content as Kid stroke her mane. If somebody actually would help a wolf with a dislocated leg it would probably be Kid. Jimmy let out a snort of laughter at the thought.
"Kid, I had the strangest dream last night," he said while throwing the saddle onto Sundancer's back. "And you were in it, helping a wolf!"
Kid said nothing but stopped and looked strangely at Jimmy.
"Yeah I know," Jimmy continued and turned to roll the remaining blankets to fit behind his own saddle. Still smiling at the thought that he had for a moment doubted that it had been a dream at all. He hurried to gather the mugs and the spoon, shoving them carelessly into his saddlebag, the empty tin can following. Then the took what was left in the canteen and poured it over the brace.
Reaching for his coat he grabbed Kid's in the process. Handing the still damp garment to his friend he looked at him, waiting to hear at least one word out of him. But Kid silently took the coat and put it on, avoiding Jimmy's look. Jimmy sighed and walked over to Sundancer, taking the reins and walking the horse out of the cave. Katy and Kid following right behind.
Out in the sunshine he turned and looked back into the cave, checking that they had everything with them. The mochilla?" he asked Kid.
Kid stood watching the ground in front of the cave, his eyes a slit, his stance guarded.
Jimmy couldn't help casting a glance, but of course, there was no pawprints. "What you looking for?" he asked the man at his side. "Lost somethin'?"
"Just signs, Jimmy, just signs."
"What signs?"
"You know what signs Jimmy, you saw them too!"
Jimmy stared at him, not believing he had heard what he thought he had heard. Was it possible to have the same dream? Or...
"It wasn't a dream Jimmy," Kid stated in a low voice.
"What'ya mean?"
Kid ducked under Katy's neck, placing himself at Jimmy's side, rising his left hand for Jimmy to see.
Jimmy found himself staring at the marks of a fresh bite on Kid's hand.
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They stopped and watched Rock Creek before them. The sun was setting and the long ride behind them had taken its toll. There had not been much talk on their way home. And what could they have said? What had happened was unspeakable, it defied all logic. To talk about it was to admit it had actually happened. And it seemed neither was ready to do that.
But then, when the first building of Rock Creek towered at the end of the trail, Jimmy reigned his horse to a standstill. Waiting for Kid to reach his side. They just sat there for a moment, looking at the town in the setting sun. Immensely relieved to be this close to home.
"Jimmy, " Kid said finally. "I just want you to know, I'll take her advice and let go."
Surprised Jimmy turned to him, sizing him up, wondering what had brought this on? His friend didn't turn to watch him, he kept staring at the town laying before them. But his voice was full of defeat. And Jimmy suddenly wished he wouldn't have known what Kid was talking about, but he knew far too well. It made his heart leap in a sudden burst of hope. Lou, Kid would let Lou go. He'd actually let her be free to choose.
"It'll kill me Jimmy, but I'll let go." Kid continued, "if that's what she needs, what you need, you have it. I won't be in the way."
Kid finally turned to look at him and the pain in his eyes suddenly tore at Jimmy's heart. Kid was prepared to let go, maybe he already had let go. Maybe he just needed this time to understand that? But would it change anything? And where would Kid's choice leave him and Jimmy?
But Kid left him no time to say anything, he kicked Katy into a slow canter and Jimmy had no other option than to follow in his lead. But his mind was whiling with new hope, maybe someday, when Lou had finally gotten over Kid, she would turn to him, And he had all his love to offer her, he'd take the wolverine's advice. He'd lay low and wait, not act. He'd just wait until Lou was ready to let go, just like Kid had. And he hoped the day would come soon.
He slowed Sundancer into a trot when spotting Teaspoon on the porch. Leaning up against the corner post the Marshal and station manager was waiting for them. Jimmy slid off his horse with a groan.
"Ev'rythin' all right boys?" Teaspoon beamed, "you look like hell. Both of you. Anything happen out there?"
Jimmy threw a glance over at Kid.
Kid shook his head; "Nothin', well if you don't count the worst damned rainstorm I've ever ridden throu'. Here ya go Teaspoon, I reckon this is what you've been waiting for?"
Jimmy watched while Kid handed Teaspoon the mochilla. "Any dinner left Teaspoon? I'm starving."
"I'm sure Rachel will heat up some beans for you boys, I'll tell her to get a can ready." Teaspoon chuckled and waved the mochilla as he turned to get away from Jimmy's murdering glance. "I'll get someone to take care of your horses!"
Jimmy turned Sundancer and proceeded to the barn. "I'll get every bean can there is in this town and use them for target practisin'," he mumbled, "tonight!"
Kid laughed behind him, stopping to let Katy drink from the trough. "I'll catch up," he said as Jimmy threw him a questioning glance before entering the barn.
As the door shut behind him he heard the sound of feet rushing his way. Lou ran up to him, grabbing his sleeve and tugging at it slightly. "You okay Jimmy? I was kinda worried, it was a heck of a rain last night. Ev'rythin' fine with you?"
He looked down on her face, smiling at her and reassuring her he was just fine.
She smiled back, relieved, "You look awful Jimmy, did you find any shelter?"
"Yeah, it turned out all right after all," he replied, holding her eyes with his, hoping for a sign. She looked up at him, her brown eyes flooding with relief, her hand refusing to let go off his sleeve. He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her, kiss her right. Finish what they had started. He wanted her to kiss him in response, kiss him and be his.
The door opened and Lou turned to the sound. For a moment she just stood there, watching Kid step in through the door. But her face showed the emotions in her, and Jimmy felt his heart drop. He saw relief and gratitude, tenderness and longing, everything he wanted from her was in her eyes as she looked at the man stepping inside. Her stance changed, softened. She turned to run up to Kid, whispering his name in the process. Her hands coming up to frame his face;"Kid, are you all right?"
He saw it on Kid's face too, the softening, the total abandonment. The joy of seeing her. Kid just stood there and looked at Lou, just like he had a moment ago. But there was a big difference. Lou reached up to take the hat off Kid, but he stopped her and draped his arms around her. Lou fell into his arms, finally succeeding in flicking the hat back and taking a good look. Her hands combing through Kid's hair. Kid smiled at her, mumbling something Jimmy couldn't make out. Lou threw her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest. Closing her eyes she whispered; "I was so worried."
Jimmy turned to walk Sundancer to his stall.
The wolverine had chosen.
The end
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