Em's room
Emily propped her head up on her elbow, studying Lucky's face as he slept. She tucked her tousled hair behind her ear, reaching out to trace the line of his jaw with one gentle forefinger. He looked so -- young; all the lines, all the edges, all the things that haunted him slipped away when he closed his eyes. He looked like the boy she'd met, years ago; it made her smile. As she continued watching him, her finger drawing slow lines across his jaw, his eyelids, his cheekbones, Lucky's hand slowly snaked out to grab Emily's finger.
Lucky laughed as she gasped, his eyes popping open. Emily started to pull her hand away, and he held onto it firmly, bringing her palm to his lips as he kissed the inside of her wrist softly. "You look more beautiful this morning, right now, then you did last night," he said softly, her tousled hair and lack of Nurses' Ball finery notwithstanding.
Emily lowered her head to the pillow, facing him. "You make me beautiful," she whispered, sliding her hand to his cheek. "Being with you makes me feel beautiful. Thank you for last night." The color rose slightly in her cheeks, but she didn't drop her eyes from his. "All of it."
Lucky looked at her a long moment, then slipped both his hands over her cheeks and into her hair, cupping her head between his hands and drawing her to him, meeting her lips in a long, sweet kiss. After they finally separated, one of Lucky's hands drifted down to rest on Emily's hip, the other stroking her hair lightly. "When I came back, the first time," he began, his voice slow and hesitant, but clear and true, "I was -- everything was backwards, all mixed up. It was like lookin' at the sky and seeing it orange instead of blue, or at the grass and having it be purple. All I wanted, all I'd wanted all those months I was away was to be home," Lucky's voice cracked with yearning on the word, "and then, when I came back to Port Charles, "home' didn't make sense anymore. So, Mom, Dad and Lu took me away, "til I could figure out how to, how to look at the world and see what was there."
Lucky paused, propping himself up on his elbow, drawing Emily against him. She turned in his arms, sensing that he needed her presence rather than her words, and slipped her arm over his, holding her waist. "And, then, we came back, and I thought it would all -- fall into place again. But, it didn't. It was Port Charles, but it wasn't home, not anymore. I couldn't find home. Until you. Until last night, in your arms. Em," she turned to meet his eyes, and he reached out, wonder in his eyes, as he drew a line down her cheek with his thumb, "I don't know how, or why, but with you, for the first time since I can remember, I'm home. At peace. Content."
Emily couldn't breathe another moment without feeling his lips on hers. She tilted her head up, winding her arms around his neck and bringing him down to her, for a long, lingering kiss, her palms wandering across his bare chest. As the kiss began to deepen, Emily pulled away, looking up at him. "Lucky," she said, then hesitated. She took a deep breath. "I'm falling in love with you," she said, softly. "And, it's the most amazing feeling "cause I'm falling in love with my best friend. I already trust you, and know you, and care about you, and now," she smiled slowly, "I get to know you in all these different ways, too. And, that's -- it's everything that's good and real." She paused, speaking more hesitantly. "The thing that scares me, though, the thing I don't want is to be -- to be the person who's solely responsible for your -- your well-being. I was here, you know. I saw you and, you and Liz. The way you were." She felt Lucky tense in her arm as she mentioned Liz's name, and hurried on. "I need more than that. Or less, I don't know. I just know that I have people I need in my life, friends, family. I can love you, Lucky. But, I can't be your whole life. You deserve more than just that."
Lucky was silent a very long time, but Emily waited. It was his to break or not. "I loved Elizabeth," he said, finally, and it was all Emily could do to keep her face from falling. "And, I was in love with her. But with her -- that's all I was. The boy in love with Elizabeth Webber. Being with you makes me want more. I want to take classes at PCU. I want to hang out with my cousin. I want to be part of the world, not hide from it. Loving," he swallowed, "loving you isn't all I am. It's the thing that makes all the rest of it okay."
Suddenly, Emily laughed, low and deep in her throat, a new noise, one she'd never made before, and rolled over, straddling Lucky's body lightly. She leaned forward until she was lying along the length of him, and looked down at him with eyes full of joy. "Just for right now," she murmured, her mouth very close to his, "I want to forget about the rest of the world. It'll still be waiting for us in, say, an hour."
Lucky lifted his head, and captured her lips with hers. "Or two," he whispered into her mouth, as Emily laughed again, "or three, or four..."
Sonny's penthouse
~So now love is gone "We need to talk," she had said, and he'd stared at her a long, expressionless moment before standing back and opening the door, if not in invitation, at least in acquiescence. Carly had walked in slowly; she had made a point of not actually coming in the penthouse, which had been her home not once, but twice, since she'd walked out of it and her marriage. Sonny watched her as she moved slowly, her hands clenched at her side, and finally found refuge at the wetbar, pouring herself a drink. Without thinking or asking, she poured him a scotch, two ice-cubes and handed it to him. Force of habit.
Sonny didn't sip at it; he put the drink down, hard, on the desk. "You said you wanted to talk," he said, more brusquely than he intended. "So, talk."
"You sayin' you don't think we need to?" Carly retorted, incredulously, studying him with narrowed eyes. She took a long sip of her drink, waited until she swallowed to speak. "What the hell happened last night?"
Sonny shrugged, moving restlessly across the room. "It was just a kiss, Carly, a mistake. Nothin' more."
"Just a kiss?" She looked at him, her hip cocked, challenging him not to belittle this. "That why you stayed up all night?" Carly picked up the discarded tie to his tuxedo, twirling it on her finger. "'Cause it was just a kiss?"
"I stayed up because my date ran out after our stupid mistake, and I was worried about her. I stayed up trying to find her and explain to her that what she saw meant nothing," Sonny made a cutting motion with his hand as Carly's face fell.
"Alexis?" Carly let out a short, brittle laugh. "You were worried about Alexis? Oh god," she ran her fingers brutally through her hair, setting down her drink and grabbing her purse, holding it close her to chest. "Guess you were right, Sonny, as usual. It was a mistake, and we have nothing to talk about." Carly turned, storming quickly to the penthouse door.
~Should have told you then I knew "Why did you leave me?" Carly froze at his words and the sound of his voice, torn, intense, agonized.
She turned slowly to face her ex-husband. "What?" Carly whispered.
Sonny swallowed, but his eyes didn't drop. This time -- this time he wasn't gonna back away, back down. "Why did you leave me, Caroline?" he asked, his eyes black as night, black as his voice.
"Sonny, I--" Carly broke off; this wasn't why she'd come here. She wasn't here to have this discussion. Or maybe, maybe she was. Maybe this was exactly why she was here. Carly lifted her eyes to his. "I needed, I needed -- more. More than you would give me, maybe more than you could, I don't know." She let her purse drop off her shoulder, and walked over to the couch, gripping the back tightly, her knuckles whitening. "Every man I've ever been with has wanted me for what I could give him. Youth, my son, escape, sex -- whatever. I needed, I need you to want me for who I am, like I told you on our wedding day. Not "cause of our daughter, but because you can't live without me. Me, Sonny, jealous, and short-tempered, and impulsive, and selfish, and yeah, maybe even crazy." She turned to face him. "I needed you to need me, Sonny," Carly whispered. "And, you didn't. And I left." She took a deep breath. "Why did you leave me?"
~You meant more to me Sonny shook his head, as if it were too heavy to hold up. "I never walked out, Carly," he said, his forehead creasing. "I wasn't the one who--"
"You left me long before I left you," Carly interrupted, her voice weary and more than a little bitter. "Maybe you were still here, physically, but you shut me out, Sonny, disappeared into yourself -- especially after Jason came back. Don't you dare tell me you didn't leave, Sonny. There's more than one way of abandoning someone," she lifted her chin, her eyes flashing.
Sonny bit back whatever he'd been about to say with effort; he could feel his blood start to boil. Carly -- whatever else Carly made him do, she always made him feel -- good, bad, didn't matter. She made him alive. "Maybe you're right," he admitted, noticing her eyes widening, and in the midst of everything, feeling a quick impulse to grin at the expression on Carly's face. "I wanted -- I wanted to trust you. I did trust you, I do, but-- damn it, Carly you loved him! More than you ever--" he broke off. "And, so I did what you said; I left. I hurt you first so you couldn't hurt me, back. Didn't work, never does. You'd think I'd have figured that out by now. It doesn't mean," Sonny swallowed hard, and his next words came out in a harsh whisper, "doesn't mean I stopped loving you. I loved you, Carly. Carly," he paused, "I love you."
~Can't stop fallin' Carly caught her breath, feeling something hard and sharp catch in her throat. She shook her head once, twice, closing her eyes, then opened them, taking a single step towards him. "I love you too, Sonny," she whispered, then made herself continue. "So what? It doesn't -- it doesn't change anything." Carly stood staring at him for a long moment, days, weeks, then walked not to him, but past him to the door.
Sonny caught at her arm as she brushed by him, holding her tight, turning her to face him. "Carly," her name exploded roughly from his lips. " I need you Carly. I need you same as I need air. Don't leave me." He licked his suddenly dry lips, his eyes full of banked fire as he stared into hers. "Please," he whispered, his voice barely audible, even so close to her ears.
~Oh I say love is gone Carly shook her head, then leaned forward suddenly, touching her forehead gently to his. She lifted her hands to cover his cheeks, cupping his face lightly, running her thumbs underneath his eyes, catching the wetness there. Slowly, Carly tilted her head, bringing her lips to his, kissing him sweetly, gently, her own tears mingling with his until it was impossible to tell where hers began and his ended. As Sonny's hand dropped to her waist, and the kiss started to become something more, Carly pulled away. Moving out of his arms in that moment was the hardest thing she'd ever done, in her life. She looked at him, her vision blurred by tears. "I'm sorry," Carly whispered, wiping at her cheeks impatiently with the heel of her hand. "I'm sorry, Sonny. It's just -- it's too late." She looked at him a brief moment longer, into his eyes, even though she knew, she knew that every moment she remained would make it that much harder to walk out the door. "I'm sorry," her lips formed the words again, but no sound came, and Carly turned, suddenly moving very quickly, and was out of the penthouse before Sonny could make a sound, call her back. And, by the time he reached the door, she was gone.
~Can't stop fallin' No no not much *Song Credit* "After The Fall" Journey
I can't t go on, love is gone
I want to say
Now it's just too late
Waited far too long~
Should have told you right
From the start
But the words
Didn't come out right
So I'll tell you
Straight from my heart~
Than I let you see
You held on somehow
All your tenderness
And your sweet caress
I miss you now~
Heartaches callin'
Finds you after the fall
Saints or sinners
Take no prisoners
What's left after~
I can't go on
Now love is gone
I want to say
But It's just too late
Waited far too long~
Heartaches callin'
Finds you after the fall
Saints or sinners
Take no prisoners
What's left after
After the fall
After you fall
After you fall*
