Why Does Love Hurt So Much? Part 1

                                                By Caroline Lanette Alderson

                                 

                                   What is love, and how do we get it?

 

2Tim 1:7 God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. 

 

I was watching A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, and the two sisters in the movie were talking about being in love, and why does the love hurt so much, and will it always hurt like this.  And the Spirit of God spoke to me and said, the reason most people feel that hurt mixed in with that love, is because they have a fear of loss mixed in with their love for that person.  Fear that we will lose the one we love at any time, is what causes that hurt to form up in our tummy.  I have experienced that kind of love too, and I think most Christians have that type of love.   I have been studying what fear of loss is.  I had it bad, and it took months after knowing I had it to be free from it.  It feels like you love too much, and that’s why it hurts.  But, the hurt isn’t coming from the love, as we have mistakenly thought; the hurting part is coming from the fear that has polluted and corrupted our love.  I just found out that the love, I had had for this person had been corrupted, and that’s why there were always problems and why it always hurt to love them. 

 

In 1Cor 13, it says what love is, and what love is not. 

1Cor 13:4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

 

Let’s look at that.  If we have any of those things in our love, then it will be corrupted.  I want to add this: In Romans 2:4 the last part, it says it’s the goodness of God and His kindness that leads us to repentance, and repentance simply means to change our way of thinking, to think the way God thinks.  Because thinking the way God thinks will set us free to think a higher way.  God’s goodness includes correcting.   Now people tend to think of correction as an insult and a bad thing.  “Well, who do you think you are correcting me like that?”  But, that’s not the kind of correction that God does to those whom He loves.   He corrects us to help us be free from shackles, not for the purpose of hurting our feelings, or condemning us, or picking on us.  He wants to bring us up from the world of darkness to His point of view on things, a higher plane.   A way of thinking that will literally set our minds, and our emotions free.  This way of thinking will even heal our bodies, and train us on how to walk in an area where we don’t even get sick anymore like the world. 

 

I never thought I could live without being sick, live without fear, live without depression, till I found out I could learn to think like God thinks, and then things started changing in my life.   But, before I start making minds tilt, let’s go back to what love is.  We want to deal with the love of God, not the natural, human love of man, or mankind.  I want to compare the two to show you the differences, so we can begin to learn how to change the way we love, and  to love like God loves. 

 

Back to our verse: Love never is jealous.  What kind of love gets jealous?  Love mixed with fear.  Where does the jealousy come from?  Our fear we will lose the person we love to someone else.  Fear of loss is the correct label.  If we can get rid of the fear of loss, we will not get jealous so easily and for no reason.  I’m not talking about someone who’s committing adultery here; I’m talking about jealously when nothing is going on that’s wrong.  Fear of loss has a root.  Just as fear of loss is the root of jealousy, the root of the fear of loss is the same main root for all fear; it’s the fear of death.  Fear of that person dying or leaving has pretty much the same feelings.  Feelings of grief, feelings of sorrow, and feelings of depression are felt, when this fear of loss is on us.   Fear will corrupt our love.  We don’t want a corrupted love.  We want a pure love for the one we adore.  Correct?  A pure love does not get jealous.  A pure love trusts the other person.   This love that is pure is a godly love, or the love of God, or the love that God gives us to love with. 

 

God doesn’t just love us with His love, He gives us that love to love others with.  This love isn’t something you can start doing on your own.  This love must be cultivated.   How do we get this kind of love?  By spending time with the God Who has the love; by spending time with the One Who has all the answers to everything we need.   My God is not a dead powerless, don’t care about you, being.  He is a God Who is in love with His people, and He WANTS to give us all the power, and love that we need to have Heaven on this earth, not just when we pass on to that other realm, but even in the here and now.  Make a decision to get to know God more; to spend more time with Him.  All that we need is found inside of Him.  I want to be inside of Him so I can have access to all that He is, and all that He has.  Don’t you?  This is not some religious fantasy, that’s way off where we can’t reach it.  This is real and very reachable.  You want to know why?  Because, your God is holding his hand out to you, and saying, “Come step inside of Me, and let me change you into my image, let Me conform and transform you, change you to be just like me, by changing how you think.  Instead of being like the world, you can be like Me.”

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

 

My brother’s and sister’s you do NOT have to live like the world.  You do not have to be sick like the world.  You do not have to be depressed like the world.  You do not have to live in fear like the world.  You do not have to be poor like the world.  There is hope for you if you are in Jesus, and are born again and filled with His Spirit.  If His Spirit resides on the inside of you, there is a whole new  world to explore and make your own.  Being a Christian is only boring to the religious, not to the true Christians who have His anointing to make changes in their lives.  I challenge you to explore the anointing that is already living on the inside of you.  Make a change that will set you apart from the rest.