tibet by the short hairs

The text is divided into 50 chapters, and the entire contents is briefly summarized below...
...Click the red numbers to enter each chapter!
Additional links to a route map, and the original road journal, appear at the bottom. (Refresh, if they don't!)
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I
...who I was when I left ...setting the mood with ideas

II
...arrival in Chengdu ...feeling good to be away
...some information about Chinese culture

III
...flying to Urumqi ...background on Xinjiang
...thoughts on eastern and western society ...human identity

IV
...arrival in Kashgar
...impressions of place and local folk ...golden goodies

V
...the western bubble doesn't pop overseas ...an Uigur boy speaks for himself ...a mural shows how we seem to understand things ...the Kashgar bazaar ...bargaining for memories

VI
...goodbye to Kashgar, hello to desert ...nature relieves insecurity ...Shule town ...the polyglot equation ...the price of creativity ...the white man knows ...conscience - what's that? ...barley oasis ...dinner with friends at the Yopurga hotel

VII
...across the desert to Markit ...a thirsty camel ...34 degrees
...a prison farm ...trees as big as god ...an ex-con ...naughty kids ...riding thru nectarines ...girls and a camera ...rest in busy Yarkant ...a night of drunken dancing, hash and robbery ...slipping away unhurt

VIII
...Kargilik town ...1500 kilometres to Ali, Tibet ...greasy food ...tomorrow's silver ...a tantrum ...buying a new watch ...eaney-meany-miney-moe, catch a Panchen by the toe ...on to Mazar and the mighty Kunlun Mts. ...artesian grapes ...mutton, movies and the guv'nor of Kogyar ...camping at Pusa ...voices in the air ...up, up, up and over to Akaz ...smoked fish ...up to 4500 metres ...great photos...

IX
...alpine dinner ...morning -4 degrees C ...23 kilometres to 5000 meters ...friendly Uigurs ...phenomenal Chiragsaldi La ...Mazar and the Yarkant River valley ...waiting for water ...nature, the silent watcher ...rocks don't have any problems ...the familiarity of progress ...evading responsibility ...the dilemma of envirophobia ...global inequality ...the expense of wonderment ...application forms for mice ...expert planning ...to be free? ...ignoring the poor again ...what we really must figure out ...liars want the truth, too

X
...fantasy and reality ...solitude and carbon black Yarkant ...bread and water ...mountain climbing isn't safe ...a hungry truck ...over to Karakax ...a cold wind ...the weakness of now ...but still more joy on Earth ...shivering vistas ...down to 4000 meters ...camping among flowers ...writing a journal ...explorers with info ...all alone

XI
...the empty Karakax valley ...overturned trucks ...old Shaitulla outpost ...disbelief ...home was certainty ...new Shaitulla ...pretty girls, soldiers and a big lunch ...a wind stronger than you ...camping between fingers of sand ...a noisy night ...at home with our convictions ...hunger for truth leads to freedom and reaction ...unenlightenment and avid susceptibility ...imaginary identity ...frustrated judgement makes for moodiness ...transformation of modern human identity immanent to self-concept ...how do we come from nature? ...conditional impressions rule us ...the real world - within and outside ...a shroud upon essence ...joyful solo ...hope gets old ...artists beware: grow up to be small - or else!

XII
...making love is more fun than god ...open space is freedom ...immense being... feeling faint ...the measure of matter is the meaning we make ...of mortality ...the choices nature makes ...god is a cowpoke ...divinity is your choice ...does mom know? ...myths are not universal ...assuming the position over nature ...box office shit ...sluts or mothers? ...fear fades with hard labor ...fangs over a cool meadow ...a stalled truck ...waving hands ...free for the asking ...another commune ...feed the beast ...sleet and snow ...Dahongliutan outpost ...a foreign traveller

XIII
...a canvas cafe ...Tibetans look poor but Chinese soldiers don't ...last pass to the Aksai Chin ...hard pack sand ...clapboard haven ...I have to eat ...solitude leads to modesty ...why life? ...fate an invention ...sensuous imagination ...not afraid of dying ...aging scientific station ...tail-wind 30 kph ...no depth perception ...antelopes and wild asses ...coldest camp ...a leaping gazelle ...a free melon ...a bowl full of green ...lunch with girls ...wanting solitary space ...the most beautiful valley ...billions of stars
...infinite life

XIV
...Tibet ...nomads and a poor village ...the kid can read ...camping with nomads ...that's all I've got ...sheep get labels ...here's a yurt ...evening tea ...a lame foot ...you don't have to tell people what to do ...customs and prayers ...late arrival of modern complexity ...nomad notes: exploiter and exploited ...sandy miasma ...a fight near Domar ...mayo ren ...twin deer ...a vaginal cave ...spring water campsite ...a humble cafe ...Panggong Lake ...a friendly tent hotel ...momo ...blackjack, dancing and sweet song

XV
...white birds over water ...vast beauty near Rutok town ...stocking up ...German trucks? ...pop-eyed Americans ...ag-research station ...Risum market ...nomads can buy things ...glass walls ...target practice ...and Rimotang ...red-hued creatures ...the Bon cosmic egg ...evocative images ...eternal spring water ...the oldest camp ...dry hands ...nearly hit ...some bad-ass busybodies

XVI
...Ali here I come ...but against a brutal wind ...saying hello to Paul ...then two guys on bikes ...36 army trucks ...Ali ...angry ...a shrine ...relieved ...PLA headquarters and a restaurant ...ahhh ...beatific beggars ...not starving yet ...how can I know you? ...Ali's busy ...Oscar ...there's Paul ...the police will get me later ...My type of guy ...nothing left to fight for ...what can you do? ...entertainment - poetry of the hard-sell? ...tombs for tomes ...sketches of mortality

XVII
...postcards for sale in no go zone ...stocking up - again ...Suzanne waits ...the dried-up look ...no cheques cashed ...discos ...imperial soldiers are everywhere ...mild cynicism ...the imaginary freedom of ideas ...monitor those excuses ...emotion marks experience ...affinity of sensibility is the heart of intelligence ...glibness hides you ...you make yourself bad ...the road of excess? ...smoking intimacy ...windbags be gone ...India or China ...a monastery in Bihar ...money for the silly ...girlfriends forget ...pretty girls are afraid of losers ...long talk ...can't leave enough behind ...control freak brutality ...only hacks today

XVIII
...a spoiled era ...invest in vanity ...beyond doubt ...a corporation can sell you ...but can you afford the right attitude? ...crushed innocence ...not enough experience ...a hapless pup ...avoid and transcend ...a dream of respect ...Carl - veteran cyclist ...rule of fear giving way to rule of law ...conversation ...a planned life ...eat if you are thin ...new and old China Telecom ...people with nothing wait for evolution ...skewered mutton ...more gear or less?

XIX
...thought and reality ...criticism and poetry ...missing the point of literature ...mnemonic status ...literature understands civilization ...only the poet knows what he means ...redoubled consciousness ...the pawns of progress ...get over yourself ...regular big money ...bikes ...PSB permits: 350 yuan ...a dinner party ...coy girls ...Rishikesh ...bye Suzanne and Oscar ...a phone call ...bye Paul, bye Carl

XX
...to the Gar Tsangpo river valley ...a twister ...holy camp ...moody giants ...Taiwanese travellers get stuck ...fording streams equals numb toes ...Gar Gunsa ...a big wind near Namru ...a fortress ...where am I? ...a drunken kata ...tea with Tibetans ...climbing the gorge ...more travellers ...camping at 5000 meters ...eat me ...flags ...Nomad tea ...think for yourself? ...hypocrisy for insecurity ...don't mind what people think of you ...giving freedom away ...whose expectations do you work for? ...you alone are responsible

XXI
...living for a good view ...try and try ...elemental people ...remember to forgive if you can ...hidden valleys ...a tour of inspection ...cold rains down ...skiing the pebbles ...a great plateau ...the mighty Himalaya ...truck stop ...teasing the girls ...mischief ...peaks over the Sutlej ...July 21 and down to Tsamda ...heat ...a hamlet ...little birds ...what is the cosmos? ...soldiers at work ...first trees since Xinjiang ...thistles ...a friend ...grottoes full of Tibetans ...a familiar syndrome ...time waits for fools ...a new format ...for rich zeroes like me ...let the poor pay, again ...insatiable

XXII
...compensate for the compensation ...any old idea will do ...money keeps you busy ...but originality is disrespected ...that iron hint of rain ...nobody knows what you know ...Sutlej military bridge ...sun in Tsamda ...solitude prevails here too ...who said sloth was no good? ...repeatedly burned by indifference ...a desert rainbow ...Koreans with a Tibetan guide ...Tibetans ask if you like them first ...the Nyingmapa school ...the temples of Toling ...1800 kilometers

XXIII
...to the Guge kingdom ...the lovely Sutlej ...13 kilometers - or 26? ...disused heaven ...the legible ruins of paradise ...Tsaparang, Ngari ...local girls ...an old lady and her ponies ...history copied from someone else's book ...hike on up ...a gent with keys ...Atisha and Shakyamuni ...the White Temple and Buddha's path ...a four hundred year old door ...Cakrasamvara ...a big donation? ...alone to the top ...Guge prison ...250 years ago, many; today, very few

XXIV
...radiation gobbling glands ...historians point fingers ...an illusion of species ...fashion sells jingly cliches ...study, but do not create ...action description sells well ...right writing ...forget the thrall of fear ...the sun and moon don't care ...rise up to peace ...nutballs are everywhere ...so are muscleheads ...money is god ...shop talk ...anger fades ...obedient civil servants ...fins under the scene ...never coming back ...the perfect destiny of historical idealism yet to blossom ...longing for eternity ...subjective psychic provinces ...briefly we discern ...a chorus ...despair that hopes ...a pituitary gland ...a funerary temple ...an American couple

XXV
...ossified ...fearless kids ...follow the teacher ...the saplings of Tsaparang ...a school ...a bedroom ...singing children ...a fantasy of escape ...social life is success ...forget me ...baggage ...back the way I came ...to Purang and Kailash ...this is so boring ...ravines ...a skittish girl ...screaming kids ...enamel titans ...gimme gimme ...empty valley ...divine malice of cold torment

XXVI
...the road won't suck off ...mountains get old too ...perception is blocked ...seeing is without will ...as is second sight ...look out to learn more ...the end of war ...the state is a useful eye ...so long as there is property ...grotesque killing ...passion beats down rationality ...war is thwarted love ...indebted to the peace-loving ...a warm tent ...a swaddled babe ..."Shyaaa, shhyaaaa!" ...sweet sho and victuals ...sleepy polygamy ...going ...going (...you're not welcome) ...gone! ...I can afford it ...deep hearts ...over to Bao-Er ...laughter and a creek ...hamlets on the move ...a big shock ...Montser town ...holy man ...wobbly weather

XXVII
...Darchen and Kailash ...what a match ...a nexus of faith ...the crown of Shiva ...a wet night ...a ride anyone? ...amused amid the gloom ...with Indians ...stuck in the muck ...popped lentils ...everybody is here ...professional personality - not creativity ...go back to sleep ...make your living ...a plum job ...more control freaks ...Lake Manasovar ...god is expensive ...a Tibetan guide

XXVIII
...Hush ...flaunt your want ...pilgrimage spirit ...heavy rain ...dawn voices ...the young woman ages ...and the companion of forgetfulness ...safe choices ...a dark guy ...timing the ride ...with Nepali climbers ...too bumpy ...Tsering ...camping together ...Miguel the rude ...Kaaren and Mr. Sherpa ...no doors at home ...snow on the Mayum La ...a sudden stop

XXIX
...stranded ...cute Nomad girls ...yummy yogurt ...bath at 4000 meters ...Nepali gumbo ...broken and no help ...eat and wait ...an entrepreneur ...hiring a truck ...the painful suspense ...chop chop ...debate at Saga ...debts and dollars ...Tibetan reticence ...rest and laundry ...getting a new ride

XXX
...shovelling sand ...blocked ...130 kilometers in 24 hours ...rope-pullers ...valley of sun and rainbows ...can't go home ...socioeconomic habits ...dinner isn't cheap enough for Miguel ...people of Samsang ...real and declared aims ...on your ass ...excusing modern character ...an autopsy ...free - euphemistically ...an instant of ideas ...progress for the few ...new ends for wisdom beyond faith ...lies are for sanity ...showing you to yourself ...corporate history ...the mire of humanity ...yet free to play ...judge not

XXXI
...above me ...surplus lust ...if not jaded ...wish for more experience ...faith and joy pricey - despair still cheap ...humans guess ...why? ...forget great problems ...promote virtuous crime ...escape your wonders ...couched in comfy terms ...watch out for idealism and the quest for desirable meaning ...pride needs a fresh excuse ...how much can you handle? ...semblances of what we need ...the past was more visceral, perhaps ...ex-faith, ex-fidelity ...suspended imagination, nature's system ...ugly, terrifying and amoral ...the "horror state" pays its dues ...study the dead to bury the living ...silent devotion is bunk ...accepting your resignation ...prolix vanity ...let's get pathological

XXXII
...staying poor ...and left behind by ideas ...whose fault is it? ...courage is earned ...indifference is easier ...sell-out or be a fool ...protection in common ...a civic objective ...rapeseed ...money back ...join the crew ...bargain your fare ...shy girl bye-bye ...a drink ...an accident ...road work ...wandering ...losing on purpose ...stuck in muck ...a blind checkpoint ...Chinese pork doesn't taste guilty ...befriending the friendless ...prod your wants

XXXIII
...forget what you really wanted ...immaturity lingers and rules ...create, if you can ...the groupie sluts won't let you ...no such thing as a popular writer ...literacy is passed ...a dull in ...a very fast bus ...the great get run over ...get that novel over with ...on to Zhigatse ...questions ...travel writing ...style reaches for themes ...dark phone office ...ochre plaster ...more fruit vendors ...old urban Tibet ...two blondes ...wheels ...fried potatoes, tumeric and cedar incense ...a clothing market ...folk music tapes & carpets ...look up ...treats ...Miguel is clever ...a cyclist from France ...road control ...but what to do about it? ...Tashilhunpo ...avez-vous?

XXXIV
...protect yourself with xenophobia ...a new form of inequality ...transforming Tibet into a province ...foreign troops go home eventually ...sorting out the onus ...charred yak ...all kinds of songs ...a little cowboy ...a visit to the monastery ...nice temples, but empty residences ...tourists ...big Buddha ...Panchens ...mausoleums ...old and young monks ...whiskers ...a bus for Lhasa ...time for rest and repairs ...beds in short supply ...the bitch waits

XXXV
...too tourists ...a sad looking prof ...a cute Korean ...email cafe ...the Zhoton festival ...locals and tourists ...a Japanese pal ...25 to get in ...the Maitreya Buddha ...familiar faces ...that touristic fantasy again ...here come the monks ...plenty a camera ...eager for blessings ...by 9:00 A.M. ...squeezed ...other cyclists ...the chambermaid gives me a rub ...keeping the shits? ...wire some cash ...but give me more?

XXXVI
...social-career roles are misleading ...indifferent to the squelch of technocratic culture systems ...full flowers are free ...country boy writers ...eternal vagrancy ...survival of the animalest ...I don't give a shit ...that ol' market scold ...ignorance is ...we can't predict the future of science anymore ...terminal diets ...shiny silver TT's ...yeah yeah yeah ...turn me down ...a penny for your escape ...the world isn't your idea of it ...back from the bank ...re-lay the relay ...babbling helps to conserve the order ...trying to be free can land you in jail ...too many I's, me's and put-on we's ...then he got hung up ...Mr. Flying Leap ...put up your dukes ...useless wank am I

XXXVII
...scared? ...three near death experiences: a bus, a cliff and a quake ...make it up ...a central paradox ...humanity has a heart for nature ...inexpressible ...two kinds of reality ...the end tends to forget the beginning ...misled passion ...truths ...playthings of acid ...the self-created species ...depend upon your concepts

XXXVIII
...are you open? ...sense truth or truth of the beyond? ...faith, the superfluous truth ...implicit morality ...moody preferences ...sacrifice somebody else's individuality ...the world is imagined ...poetry opens up ...better lies ...selling the syndrome ...appetite vs. encouragement ...free of genre ...no time for this ...Lhasa's quiet morning ...the foreigner effect ...touristic phantasm ...an old legend ...some more history ...a mixed point of view ...seeing what you want doesn't know what it is ...excusing the habits of modernity ...don't do anything about what makes you weak ...a taste for money displaces lost love ...an autonomous and sacred hoard ...satisfying cracks ...reality belongs to someone else ...comfortable persuasions ...changeless boredom ...progress would replace piety with intellect

XXXIX
...the Jokhang temple ...the king marries Buddhism ...Lhasa was Rasa ...lamps that watch ...sneak on in ...flagstones ...a statuary who's who of Tibetan history and religion ...emblems of faith ...like Padmasambhava's skull ...a crowded place ...old butter ...a busy scribbler ...a boy Buddha ...history is longer than imagination ...serious prayer ...heroic singers ...abiding with injustice ...the displaced soul of ultramodern humanity ...become more like me? ...Nah, there's too many of us already ...skip to XLV if you already know art is either good or bad

XL
...to know everything ...the imaginary filter of growth ...crusty roles ...the artist works ...to give pleasure ...physical being governs consciousness and inspires spiritual ideas ...selfish creativity ...and selfless ...free and uninhibited ...life is interesting ...preconceptions are dumb ...the flux and mood of creative energy is era-dependent ...intellectual milieu overcome by stock popularity ...so, keep it short, sweet and low bozo ...slam's a scam ...commercialism and divine fascism ...training the lit-camp to suck easy ...sell yourself! ...careless and successful ...history's slippery dick ...money is snobby, not poetry ...share your privileges? ...hacks vs. cowards like me ...originality in face of compliant tastes ...optimism nevertheless ...just jealous ...liberated but cut-off by imagination ...accuse all you want, but I still have a future

XLI
...about art's invention ... ideas of creativity ...poets epitomize human aspiration ...but have no place ...production vs. creativity ...public and private $ ...the social exchange ...an indefensible paradigm ...technique outmodes imagination ...the desert won ...a personal universe ...genius communicates more than information ...art gives us freedom ...receptivity ...reveal yourself ...articulate and eternal beauty ...the associative mind ...easy-comers ...retrieving theory ...what you get is what you want to see ...but the artist wants to give you more ...shared desire ...perception vs. preconception ...trendy hybrids ...precisely finished ...human omniscience ...spontaneous metaphoric insight ...the imprisoning liberty of new tools

XLII
...making peace isn't easy ...art gets closer ...all the urge ...painting and condos ...the artist wants a lot ...but loses ownership to the audience ...fashionable careers ...don't be afraid of yourself ...sharing goals ...the jungle ethic is stupid ...a little bit of breathing room ...behavior beats reflection ...the gullible shall inherit the earth ...righteousness kills ...nine of ten ...your secret idea ...be happy: do as you're told ...a public fountain ...passion is intuition ...error rules us ...no law but belief ...attainment verifies identity ...amoral profits ...a limited concept ...courting the mystery ...I'm too stupid ...a legitimate fantasy ...specialized authority ...respect your privileges ...combat suicide ...bitter king, crabby pauper, flimsy egomaniac ...afraid of soil - but in love with greasy grime ...at least I know what's up

XLIII
...do I really think? ...here's a silly idea to make you mad ...rosy smugsters ...ignore your betters ...buy your lessers ...I'm a yawn ...true artists love to complain ...respect is a bubble too ...the safe-grave ...passed out ...the same aims ...dissimilar expressions ...language gives more of everything ...creative truth is familiar ...imaginary hatred ...the contrasts should lighten you up ...solutions minus problems equals ...easy to use ...knowledge of being vs. methodologies of getting things done ...problem gathering ...technology may relieve your concern ...sorry - more doubts ...vanity discharged ...isolating the good from the bad ...talent needs technique ...responsible content ...irresponsible form ...afraid of the hand? ...sublimate your forms ...culture: pricey lay or cheap slut? ...the artist remains a pariah ...drop your names ...but permission comes from the publisher

XLIV
...too serious ...evaluate your ingenuity ...face your odds ...the illustrated psyche ...desirable feelings ...hang on to your mistakes ...but don't give up ...girls will say no to me at the disco ...soul is a myth of god too ...visionary misnomers ...the future of today ...things that help you think ...a wisdom of semblances ...this is really weak ...universal nonsense ...forgive religion? ...imprints instead of independents ...it gets cynical again here ...trying for a rainbow ...poetry gives us to know ...goodness and harmony are real ...auburn daydreams ...language happens to you ...rejoice in obscurity ...give cash to beggars? ...what you already want to No! ...the last minute vanishes ...I don't see how I am ...a waste of effort ...go sensuous - get desolate

XLV
...expect less ...the chrome Hutch ...nearly sixty ...positive humor from a thinking man ...look for individuals to understand humanity ...drifting wonder ...talk flows ...try to be kind even if you aren't ...hooey ...bureaucracy everywhere ...the glib nix... stay at home and be smug ...your broken dreams keep me out ...waiting for tools and poetry ...action is hungry ...retreat into peace ...women are beyond me ...apparitions ...creativity is free of self-conscious conceit ...you don't know who you hate ...do whatever nobody else can do ...shell my egg please ...release your legacy ...it's almost over ...poetry is your enterprise ...love hormones ...plans like to talk ...not here for long ...a few did say: "I love you."

XLVI
...do it live if you can ...paintings can't talk ...see through to her needs ...I meet a lady ...and remember a girl ...carry that bag ...sugar mama ...what's an in? ...a phone call ...sex dreams ...she doesn't need to care ...market distribution ...unlike a cadre ...prefects for sale ...liberate the citizenry ...legalism and technocracy ...oriental socioeconomics are beyond me ...the Han drift ...some effort to characterize ... the social forms ...central authoritarian tradition ...Buddhist freedom

XLVII
...western intellectual nonsense ...neocolonialism hushed-up ...safe insularity ...finally later on ...how many? ...free of morality ...words are not behavior ...science will save us ...declasse xenophobia ...outmoded authenticity ...a dream enslaved to prejudice ...cynical freedom ...too lazy to set up a darkroom ...export knowledge not economic ideology ...sell your scruples ...the poor side of the world ...does it matter to you? ...I'm not afraid of liars and cheats ...as for now ...so long to that lingering wish ...small change

XLVIII
...the mighty Potala ...the ecclesiastical heritage ...a self-spoken curse ...diplomatic murals ...Tibetans used to live here ...a modest grandeur ...a confusing plaque ...tourist hawkers ...goodbye with a bracelet ...waiting for tools pays off ...a plane ticket ...tomorrow to Samye by bike ...dinner with Tsering et al ...Hutch again ...last letters ...solitude gets you ...secrets unspoken ...unwilling hurry ...America and Europe ...beyond choice ...goodbyes ...do you love them? ...riding out ...the Kyi-chu

XLIX
...welcome hospitality ...an essay ...carbon black ...good food ...a guided tour of Gongkar ...foreshortened horizon ...Khyenri horror painting ...a Buddhist hell ...on to Dratang ...the airport ...a nervous policeman ...boatmen wait for floods ...to Mindroling ...boys help and boys steal ...the Nyingmapa school ...a well wash ...paintings of Buddha ...eat to sleep

L
...across the great Tsangpo ...remote Samye ...tea with nuns ...peace under the willows ...a long circle ...watching rain ...do nothing ...a mother of monks ...metaphors for ideal understanding ...despite skepticism ...religion over fear ...hard to swallow ...the advance of civilization is a wish ...emblems ...the Utse temple ...a novice identifies the statuary ...a sand mandala ...bye to tourists ...some kids and a puppy ...turned back in Tsetang ...a souvenir
...more hope in faith

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Here is a map of Tibet and my bicycle routes:

MAP

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Additional HTML documents are available here:

final draft ~ tibet by the short hairs ~
Original Road Journal
A Journey to East Tibet


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copyright © 2001 by David Antoniuk