My favorite gomennasai/sorry letter for Japanese bureaucrats
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: Me
I had fun teasing young gaijin fellow I met last night at Somona Cafe about his expired for months Japanese work visa. :-)

THEN this morning I went down to get my ninth update of my Japanese "ALIEN Registration Card" and the ward office folks treated my to green tea as I waited....only to discover my ALIEN registration had expired. THEY apologized to me but requested I write a "gomennasai" letter. I quickly dashed off my favorite gomennasai/sorry letter from memory that I have used many times for the past 20+ years....

"I am so sorry I have to write this letter to apologize for..."

(It works every time on the suckers, hee, hee.)

"Comic" currency intervention via manga
Topic: Japanese life
Japan's currency intervention takes sinister turn in 'manga' comic
Thursday, March 18, 2004
(Mar - 1 21:03 PST TOKYO (AP) --
The plot is sinister: U.S. officials trick Japanese authorities into intervening in the exchange market to buy the falling U.S. currency -- not to save vulnerable Japanese exporters from the dangers of a high yen, but to keep America's economy from sliding.
This story line from a comic book ["Golgo 13"] now selling in Japan may be implausible. Nonetheless, it highlights growing fears here over seesawing currency fluctuations.
...The story suggests that the White House has concocted a diabolical trap so Tokyo will cough up a massive amount of cash to finance ballooning deficits for the U.S. budget and global trade balance while preventing a crash in U.S. Treasuries.
Big Comic editor Naosumi Nishimura says "Golgo 13" appeals to Japanese readers because it is a fantasy based on realistic portrayals of current events.

free WiFi in Tokyo & the rest of Japan
Topic: Japanese Tech
Japanese guide in vague English to free WiFi spots and Netcafes in Japan. Hell, I even found a 8 freespots in the town near my rice ranch in Ehime, Shikoku.
Japan: http://www.freespot.net/users/map_e.html
Tokyo: http://www.freespot.net/users/map-e/map_tokyo.html
Yokohama: http://www.freespot.net/users/map-e/map_kanagawa.html

See more info the "COMMENTS."

Japanese resumes: Mo' boring, mo' betta.
Topic: adviceS

How to submit a resume in Japan

Guess what happens to EVERY resume submitted electronically at Maybe-the-Largest-in-Japan Inc?

We automatically rip it ASCII plain text and index the keywords. Resumes like the one you're planning with the "complex tables" seldom make it throught that auto-ASCII rip, and SO THOSE RESUMES ARE OFTEN IGNORED.

If you want a mega-coporation job, always email an ASCII resume.

At the interview present them with a resume w/small photo, printed on only 1 page of clean while bond paper and without any font frou-frou. In Japan, the more boring the resume the better. Buy the Japanese form you can get in any stationary store. See the FG thread: Give me the full deal on Japanese resumes

Japanese Nostalgic for Showa haydayz
Topic: Japanese life

ARTS WEEKLY / ART-JAPAN: Nostalgia for Showa Period Is In
TOKYO, Mar 20 (IPS) - Nostalgic for the heady fifties and sixties when Japan embarked on its post-war economic miracle, 68-year-old Hidetoshi Yokokawa goes back to the past through his Showa Retro Products Museum, which displays collections of items from that era.
---> See the pix at BACK TO THE PAST: Japanese Nostalgic for All Things Showa / January 22, 2003

Boring flower news saturates the Japanese media
Topic: Media
YAWN

Cherry blossoms come out in Tokyo, Yokohama, Shizuoka
Kyodo
Thursday March 18, 1:59 PM
Cherry trees started blooming Thursday in Tokyo, Yokohama and Shizuoka, the second-earliest date for the three cities since data were first collected in 1953, the Japan Meteorological Agency said.
The development allows for Japan's popular springtime custom of "hanami" or cherry-blossom viewing to be enjoyed earlier than usual.
The earliest blossoming in Tokyo was March 16, 2002, and March 15 the same year for Yokohama and Shizuoka, it said.
YAWN

Finally, a use is found for Japanese 'natto'
Topic: Japanese life
Natto" is vile fermented soy slime and the horror of foreigners in Japan (yes, I eat it).

'Natto' eyed to fertilize world's deserts
Kyodo Press / Mar 18
Toshio Hara, an assistant professor at Kyushu University, has a dream of turning deserts into vast green fields by using a resinous substance deriving from "natto" fermented soybeans mixed with sludge containing nutritious ingredients and plant seeds. His idea is to bury substances generating from natto and sludge in the ground to convert deserts into land covered by vegetation.....

An amusingly misguided alien "geisha"
The internet is a continual source of wonder to me. I was looking for background info on "SAKURA" and I ended up with 'sakuranbu'(sic) which is cherry in Japanese spelled incorrectly.

sakuranbu, the gaijin geisha
Diary of a bdsm gaijin geisha maiden
"....I found the most fabulous geisha-like corset at...""....akuranbu is Japanese for "cherry" Also used by some in Japanese rope bondage to refer to "tying up the cherry..."

St. Pat's Day in Tokyo, Blarney.
Topic: Japanese life
Japanese St. Patricks Day? Read more about it in Tokyo here....
SPRAY...

St. Ex-Pat's Parade or 'Look at me, I'm Irish but I live in Japan!'

...What could be more stupid then St Patrick's day, do I hear you ask? How about St Patrick's day in Tokyo.....

Too early sakura in Tokyo

Today the AIR-CONditioner turned on for the first time on the subway. Now that's Spring!

Along with the very early sakura, the wind is blowing like a Okie twister. Refer to my comments over on the FG Forum. AS for early bloomers, check this out on the right. -->

Surfin' seven hours a day in sleepy Japan Inc
Topic: Japanese life

GHOSTZILLA is the Buddha!

Many people might ask, "How the hell do you stay sane in a Japanese 'Zombie Company?'"
At my Zombie Company (featured in Newsweek Asia's cover story) I surf seven hours a day using the no-images, grayed-out mode of Ghostzilla. Nobody even knows I'm goofing off. In fact even I hardly notice the bent and kinky aspects the Internet I see. The following is an example of what I see on-screen: not very "dangerous" is it?


I use the "GHOST" at least seven hours a day here gray Land-of-Concrete Japan. You've brought a gray joy to my gray life. Now my desk is gray, the walls are gray, my uniform is gray and my company bento-lunch is gray.

Taro, 20 years in the fetid bowels of Japan Inc

See also my comment here.

GAYDAR for 'cute twinky drunken japanese rent boys'
Topic: Japanese life

Clueless in Tokyo

Here's a gay-happy blog of a nama-gaijin straight-from-Narita...

JIGGY JIGGY
monday 2004.03.15 / by "evijhserf"
.... a more english-friendly bar ..horrifically filled with balding english sugardaddies, fat baseball-cap wearing american sugardaddies, and cute twinky drunken japanese rent boys. the bartenders were undoubtedly perplexed by us, and kept coming over to take drink orders, empty ashtrays, rearrange our drink coasters and smile... filled with pretentious/clueless english-speaking morons, so we just shot them evils whilst cruising the familiar-yet-foreign gay boys passing by on the street. i reckon by this point, due to jetlag, cultural awkwardness, friendly locals and general confusion, we'd slammed back 10 or so strong drinks in about 2 hours. we became loud, we started falling off our bar stools, and eventually our antics caught the attention of a passing television film crew.
greg and i got interviewed ... for some gay teevee show, about what sorts of asian [oriental] boys we fancied. i placed star stickers next to the japanese celebrities i most fancied, each star soliciting uproars of laughter, and tons of commentary by the reporter in japanese. after i had placed two or three stars, they all laughed, the camera zoomed in, and the translator explained, ahhh, you like the, ahhhh, ahhh, young boys! and then they all started repeating in broken engrish, you like the young boys.

Tokyo court censor the name of Makiko Tanaka's love child
Topic: Media

Notice how this story fails to name the "daughter" who is the secret love-child of Makiko-chan and me.

Tokyo court bans weekly's publication over Tanaka's daughter
Kyodo / Wednesday March 17, 12:30 AM
The Tokyo District Court has issued a temporary injunction banning the publication of Shukan Bunshun weekly magazine which had planned to run in its latest issue a story about the eldest daughter of House of Representatives member Makiko Tanaka, the daughter's lawyer said Tuesday....
In its March 25 issue to be published Wednesday, the popular weekly, published by the Tokyo-based Bungei Shunju Ltd., planned to run what it calls an "exclusive scoop" on Tanaka's eldest daughter.
According to her lawyer, the story says that the daughter got married despite her parents' fierce opposition and divorced after only one year and returned from Los Angeles....
Her parents are Tanaka and her husband Naoki. Tanaka, the daughter of the late Prime Minister Kakuei Tanaka, is widely known as an outspoken politician and has served as foreign minister.

Lost in Translation: a too accurate portrayal
Topic: Media
After 20+ years living in Japan I have to say "Lost in Translation" is a too accurate portrayal...even the so-called racist parts such as the elevator scene shown on the left that happens to me every day. Here's a new radio report from NPR that sounds interesting....



Japan and Hollywood: Lost in Translation?
National Public Radio (USA) March 16, 2004
Bryan Shih reports from Tokyo on how Hollywood movies about Japan, such as Lost in Translation and The Last Samurai, tend to reflect America's changing perceptions of a former "enemy state" and often get mixed reviews by Japanese audiences.

--Listen to the Real Audio or Windowz Media...
___

Afgan needs money to marry an ass
Mood:  cheeky

Soldier's shame over donkey sex
AFP / 16mar04
From correspondents in Gardez, Afghanistan
AN Afghan soldier was detained by police after being caught having sex with a donkey in southeastern Afghanistan, a police officer said today.
The soldier was discovered with the donkey in an abandoned house in a small village of Gardez, the capital of Paktia province, last week, a local police officer said....
....The soldier claimed he committed the act because he did not have enough money to get married.

_________________
"Selling natto mouthwash for aardvarks since 1983.

Posted by trek/taro at 9:14 AM JST
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Japanese Riddle: retro MP3 product


Riddle me this Batboy?

Why make an MP3 player shaped like a crappy audio cassette?
http://www.rakuten.co.jp/goodwill/449874/467368/470229/
_________________
"Selling natto mouthwash for aardvarks since 1983.

Wooly Bear caterpillars?
Topic: Japanese life

Sleeping on the subway...

Via www.anima.de/nikki. Click here for full-size picture.

Topic: Japanese life
First, get a time machine....


"Kaba kick" is not listed on product index of the Flash-infested Takara Toys site because it ain't been made since 1993. See info below from the huge JPN KABA-lovers site.

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http://homepage2.nifty.com/hipomi/kako-note/note0204.htm 昔あったクイズ番組「どんなMONだい？！」カバが出ると大量マイナス点になって回答者が頭を抱えていたのを思い出した。カバをひくと不運なんて許せないと思ったもんだ。ピストル型の引き金をひくと、「アウトォ！」と言う声とともにカバの足が飛び出し、ピストルの上に乗ったカバの口が開く。やっぱりマイナスイメージがコンセプトのようだ。こりゃよくない。カバはＨＡＰＰＹでなくちゃ！と思いながら、何回も引き金を引いてしまう。ばかばかしいけどやめられないおもちゃ。写真手前に見えるピンク部分が足の裏。ぜんまいコレクターNoricoさんからの情報でネットフリマにて購入。（ｃ）ＮＴＶ1993　TAKARA co.ltd Posted by trek/taro at 3:42 PM JST Updated: Tuesday, March 16, 2004 5:50 PM JST Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post Kim Jong Il says he'll "GIVE UP" Kim: "I''ll give up." WWN / March 16 ---In secret talks, unstable North Korean tyrant Kim Jong Il has offered to shut down his nuclear arms program and allow U.N. weapons inspections unlimited access to his country -- if he's given a sneak preview of Star Wars: Episode III. Posted by trek/taro at 1:39 PM JST Post Comment | Permalink | Share This Post Japanese joke journalism Topic: Media This is part of an interview with political pundit, Minoru Morita. His "logic" is VERY scattered but he makes many interesting points. Japanese Reporters' Political Allegiances Create Bias 2004-03-04 / Japan Media Review <concluding remarks> Japan Media ReviewCritics say journalists working for the major Japanese media don't care about truth -- they produce news to win bosses' favor. Political analyst, Minoru Morita Unfortunately, that is the state of journalism today. It's shameful, indeed. They do their job, looking up [at] their boss with one eye just like Japanese flounder that has eyes on one side of the body. If they don't do their job, looking at the public and the world with both eyes, I don't think it's worth choosing this job. In the world of the Western media, reporters are competing with one another, but in Japan that's not the case. Japanese reporters are not trained .. Nor do they receive outright criticism from colleagues.