i cant think of any right now...

me and my cousin walked to this convinience store that was by her apartment complex, and when we were walking out there was this motorcycle outside and i went over to it and almost knocked it over. the owner came out, and started talking to us. he asked us where we lived and if we knew this girl named Monica, because they went out and she never called him. and he kept following us, and we thought he was going to eat our livers.

around 6 am i went outside walking around and i threw mushrooms at parked cars. I wasn't even alone.

me and my cousin rick took turns farting on the couch, and then left outside. when we were outside we heard my aunt yelling. and we laughed.

my ass oozed over the bicycle seat and there was an indent in the middle of my ass where the seat was. that means my ass is twice the size of what normal ass should be when riding a bike.

i told this guy i loved him at his work, and he told me he didn't know me that well.

i was crying in the bathroom at wal mart, i was lurched over the sink and then suddenly the stall-door swung open and i saw a three hundred pound mexican woman jump off the toilet to close the door, we both saw eachother in a vulnerable position, so we laughed and then hugged. true story, minus the hugging... ;)