Disclaimer: I'm not getting anything for this.... So...*TTTTHHHHPPPPTTTT* Besides, it's my imagination and my computer system.

Rating: PG13

Author's note: I adore feed back! It doesn't even have to be nice! *is really good at tossing mean comments back* Anyways, I want to thank Coral, Loz, and Bec for being really nice and reading this before I posted it. *huggles them* Okay, feedback goes to wickedmoonchild@hotmail.com ttfn,lissa:)

~*~<@>~*~If you think you would have trouble reading with this background, a much easier to read version is here. Sorry for the inconvenience.~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 1

by Lissa

"I spoke with the Doctor earlier and he said there are no signs of the Truvion flu remaining on board," Kathryn said as she began picking up dishes from Chakotay's table.

"He found the cure just in time. I thought I'd be permanently green at the rate we were going," Chakotay chuckled.

"I know exactly what you mean." A slightly pained look crossed her face. Kathryn put the dishes in the replicator and tapped the recycle button. She slowly went to the couch like she was walking on glass shards.

"What's wrong?" Chakotay asked noticing the sudden change in his friend.

"I'm not sure," she replied quietly. "My head feels like someone is using it for a tennis ball and my back for a racket." Kathryn clenched her eyes shut and brought her hands to her temples. Chakotay noiselessly rushed to her side and ran his hands over her back soothingly.

"Any better?" he queried after a few moments. Chakotay was well used to her sudden migraines and he was well aware of how easily he could make them disappear.

"That brings back old memories," Kathryn said with a slight smile before blacking out. Chakotay felt Kathryn's form go limp and caught her right before she slid to the floor.

"Chakotay to Sickbay, medical emergency, two to transport." He cradled Kathryn's slack form as they shimmered in the transport beam.

"What happened?" interrogated the Doctor while Chakotay carefully placed Kathryn on the biobed.

"She suddenly developed a severe migraine then lost consciousness," answered Chakotay. The Doctor scanned Kathryn, wrinkled his brow, then scanned Chakotay.

"What is it?"

"No time to talk, yet," the Doctor said almost like a promise. "Computer, initiate quarantine parameters, level five."

"Level five?" Chakotay asked, shocked.

"I'll explain all very soon. Please, inform Commander Tuvok of the situation," the Doctor said as he disappeared into the Medlab. Chakotay barely heard himself talking to Tuvok as he stared numbly at Kathryn. Then the Doctor sped into the alcove, hyposprays in hand. He took samples of their blood and dosed Kathryn and Chakotay without a word and studied Kathryn's vitals intently.

"Good," the Doctor sighed with relief after a few seconds. "The virus that caused you and the Captain to be stranded for a while is back," he finally said while scanning Chakotay. "I wasn't certain until I compared scans."

"How can that be?" Chakotay looked worriedly at Kathryn, "All scans showed that the virus was eliminated."

"I don't know. But you both have a mutation of the virus. The Captain has had it for about fifty hours. You, on the hand, have had the mutation for about twenty-four hours." The Doctor readied another hypospray and used it on Kathryn. "She'll be awake very soon. Now, Commander, who have you had close contact with in the past day or so?"

"Just the Captain. Today was my day off and I spent it in my quarters reading," answered Chakotay. While they were talking, Kathryn's eyelashes began to flutter. She groaned in reaction to the light and put her arm over her eyes.

"Computer, lower lights by a third," Chakotay ordered.

"Thanks. What happened?" Kathryn asked, propping herself up on her elbows gingerly. "I feel dreadful."

"The virus that caused our stay on New Earth is making its presence known," Chakotay told her while pushing gently on her shoulders to make her lay down.

"Back?" Stunned, Kathryn let Chakotay ease her back onto the biobed.

"First, have you had any close contact with anyone in the past three days? Like meals, playing a game of some sort, anything like that?" the Doctor asked.

"Lunch and dinner a couple of times with Chakotay," she said quietly.

"Good. I have the computer doing a shipwide scan for the virus. I'm going to contact Commander Tuvok of this and setup a temporary Sickbay and procedures for locating cases of the virus." And with that and not even another word to his patients, he disappeared into his office.

"Can you tell me anything about this?" Kathryn sighed.

"The Doctor has put us on level five quarantine. He said that the virus mutated, but he doesn't know how or when. He gave us the cure for this strain but he is still concerned about this mutation," Chakotay explained.

"It looks like we get to spend some time together," Kathryn said with an odd tone to her voice. Chakotay couldn't decide if it was wry or displeased. She was now lying on her side with her head in her hand. The look on her face was pensive and Chakotay couldn't help studying her. Kathryn's legs were folded into a semi fetal position with her arm draped so her hand was right over her stomach. This woman that so easily invaded his thoughts was completely closed off from him.

Chakotay sighed and sat on the edge of the biobed, trying to push New Earth out of his mind. Kathryn sat up and leaned her head on Chakotay's shoulder. Chakotay gave up his endeavor and entwined his hand with hers. Kathryn squeezed his hand gently and he leaned his head against hers.

"How's the headache?" Chakotay almost whispered.

"Just a ghost, now," Kathryn replied just as quietly. Emotions and memories were blanketing every sense. Kathryn was lost in a legend and Chakotay was lost in an ion storm. When the Doctor returned, they were slow to react to him.

"The senior staff is patched through on my monitor," the Doctor said, sorry to disturb them.

"Thank you." They all crowded around the small screen and made arrangements. Those arrangements included putting a door between Kathryn and Chakotay's quarters, putting each room on separate environmental controls, and setting up an efficient forcefield system that allowed objects to be exchanged without the need for the transporter and without the risk of exposure. It was agreed to have guards outside the entrances to their quarters whenever a stranger was onboard.

By the time everything was settled, Kathryn and Chakotay were thoroughly drained. For tonight they'd be sleeping in Sickbay, but by the time they got up, their quarters would be ready. The Doctor spent all night conducting tests and even woke Chakotay and Kathryn up to take more blood to examine. They were sleeping on biobeds beside eachother.

After the Doctor had left them to go back to sleep, they stared intently at the other with many unanswered questions swirling around their minds. Kathryn was the first to close her eyes, but not at all willingly. She had fallen asleep. Chakotay stayed awake and smiled at the memories of him carrying her to bed the nights she fell asleep over her research or, very rarely, a book. He thought of those days often. And, now, he would have them again, in a way. Chakotay gave Kathryn one last lingering gaze and fell asleep with a reminiscent smile.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 2

by Lissa Pearl

*Sickbay*

Kathryn was the first to wake. After checking the chronometer she decided to just lay on the biobed and think. Then her glance caught the sleeping form not four feet away. From that point on, her thoughts all revolved around Chakotay and how this situation was going to affect them. She had no idea what to expect. Everything was so similar to New Earth, yet not. Kathryn wished she knew how long it would take to find a permanent cure, if one could be found. Kathryn didn't know what she could possibly do. They couldn't go back to what they had on New Earth. She refused to let that happen ever again. Kathryn and Chakotay still had too many unhealed wounds from when Voyager came back for them.

She continued to watch him for a while longer then she eased herself up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Kathryn yawned and stretched and in the process woke Chakotay from his light slumber. "Rise and shine," Kathryn said dryly.

"I'll rise, but I refuse to shine," Chakotay grinned into the semidarkness.

"Computer, raise lights to sixty percent illumination," she laughed softly.

"Ah, you're awake," said the Doctor, peeking out of his office. "I can give you some answers now." There was an awkward silence for no determinable reason.

"Any day now, Doctor," said Chakotay.

"The virus apparently mutated several times while you both were at your sickest. When you returned to the planet some of the mutations went dormant and disguised themselves as ordinary cells," the Doctor explained evenly and as gently as he could. "It is very likely that a mutation will suddenly become active every few years, if not discovered. Right now, I'm working on developing an agent that will destroy all variations of the virus without harming other cells."

"How many different mutations have you found?" asked Chakotay.

"Over a hundred, and that's just in the small amounts of blood I took," replied the Doctor.

"How many do you estimate there are overall?" Kathryn asked.

"There is no way of telling, yet. I asked Commander Tuvok to let me gather a team to develop a type of scan that would so something that miniscule," said the Doctor. "I'm confident that I can find a cure soon. Until then, the both of you are on a nice, little vacation of sorts," he said trying to look on the bright side. Kathryn managed a small, unamused laugh.

"Nice try, Doctor. The only difference between last week and this one will be our locations," Kathryn said with a spark of wit.

"Very well. I'm giving each of you a Medkit for any minor things that happen. Captain, you should expect your headache to return for a short while," the Doctor said peevishly. "Your quarters are ready and I have no more information to give you. I suggest you both get as much rest as possible. Before you know it, you'll be back on the Bridge."

"Uh, huh. Janeway to Transporter room one, we're ready to go," Kathryn said before the Doctor could mention coffee. As Kathryn and Chakotay dematerialized, they could see the Doctor shaking his head as he entered his office. They materialized in Kathryn's quarters.

"Captain? Commander? Over here, on the monitor," said a familiar voice. It was B'Elanna.

"Hello, Lieutenant," Chakotay said, trying to let Kathryn keep a little bit of the 'Captain' persona intact.

"Commander, Captain," greeted B'Elanna. We've put a new command into the computer that will immediately trigger the backup forcefield and send a message to sickbay. It has been activated. All you have to do is tap your commbadge and say Code Violet. The system is all ready up and running."

"I understand the reasoning behind the backup forcefields, but why the message to sickbay?" Kathryn asked, showing signs of a returning headache.

"Just in case one of you is injured the Doctor can be sent right away," B'Elanna said. Her face had suddenly gone unreadable before she said, "Have a nice vacation," and closed the channel.

"I'm not even going to try and comprehend why everyone is telling us to have a nice vacation. My headache is back and I'm going to lay down for a little while," Kathryn said tiredly.

"Sleep well. Do you want to have lunch at 1200?" Chakotay asked as he walked towards the new door.

"That sounds good. Will you have Tuvok send over any reports that need reviewing?" she asked, watching him go.

"Sure. See you soon," he said as the door slid open. "Have a nice vacation," Chakotay teased just before the door closed. Kathryn smiled before her head throbbed in protest.

"All right, all right, I'm going to bed," she said to herself with her palm pressed against her forehead. Kathryn took some time to slip into a comfortable nightgown, set her alarm, and fell into bed.

*Chakotay's Quarters*

Chakotay replicated a mug of tea and settled into his chair behind his desk. "Computer, what is the location of Lieutenant Commander Tuvok?"

"Lieutenant Commander Tuvok is in his quarters."

"Is there anyone else in Tuvok's quarters?" Chakotay asked.

"Negative." Chakotay then set up a channel to Tuvok's monitor.

"Hello, Commander," the staid Vulcan said upon opening the channel from his end.

"Hello, Tuvok. Would you send over the reports for the Captain and myself? She'd ask you herself, but she's laying down with a headache," Chakotay explained casually, like everything was totally routine.

"Everything has been attended to," Tuvok said simply, "Therefore, there is nothing to 'send over'."

"But, it's only 1000 hours," Chakotay said, surprised.

"I was on duty during your stay in Sickbay and reviewed all of the reports," Tuvok explained.

"All right. Thank you," Chakotay said with a slight shake of his head.

"Is there anything else you require?" Tuvok asked.

"No. Bye Tuvok. Chakotay out." He wondered if this was to become standard until the quarantine was lifted. If it was, then Kathryn would definitely not be in the best of moods for a while. Chakotay stood and walked over to his couch where he had left the book that Kathryn had just loaned him. He smiled and got comfortable for a long, uninterrupted read.

~*~<@>~*~

part 3

by Lissa Pearl

*Kathryn's Quarters*

"Computer, reset alarm to usual parameters," Kathryn half-sighed and half-grumbled. She had tossed and turned for all but the last ten minutes of her nap. Her head still hurt, not as bad as before, so she decided to just lay in bed for a little bit. Kathryn rolled over and fell straight into a dream.

Kathryn was in a lush field with trees far in the distance. Wild flowers grew everywhere. Wind was caressing the grass til it resembled an ocean. The sky overhead looked ominous, quickly covering the distant blue. Dark grey-blue clouds hung close to the field. Kathryn looked all around for shelter of some sort when her eyes caught the dress she was wearing. It was sleeveless, long, and clung comfortably to her body. The dress was a dazzling white in the storm light.

In the dream, Kathryn felt her heart start to pound at the distant flash of lightening. Frightened, she ran barefooted in the direction she was pointed. No matter how hard or how fast she ran, she was still in the field. Just as she was on the verge of panic she spotted a structure in the distance. Soon after, the thunder began to chase her and the rain caught her. Kathryn flung herself into the structure. The opening was an archway leading into an old, high-walled cemetery. On the other side of the small, dry sanctuary was someone Kathryn easily recognized.

"Chakotay," Kathryn said in the dream. Saying nothing, he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. The dream Chakotay pulled her close, to comfort her. Kathryn looked up to see Chakotay's face and found that he was already gazing at her intently. He kissed her with such passion that Kathryn could barely kiss back. Then her was trailing kisses down her neck while they were undoing each other's clothes and beginning to explore uncharted territory with long hidden desire.

*Chakotay's Quarters*

It was at least five full minutes before Chakotay noticed the beep of his computer, so involved in his book was he. Chakotay leapt up quickly and activated the message.

"That took long enough. What were you doing? Sleeping?"

"Hello to you, too, B'Elanna," Chakotay laughed as he pulled out his chair and sat gracefully. "I was reading," he held up the book as proof.

"Must be a good one for you to be paying so little attention to your surroundings," B'Elanna teased. "What is it?" she asked.

"'The Quiet Man' bye Maurice Walsh. Kathryn loaned it to me," Chakotay answered. "It is very good."

"What's it about?" B'Elanna asked.

"This American boxer comes home to Ireland and buys his family home. The town bully, who was made very mad when the boxer bought the house, is the brother of the woman he wants to marry. A real interesting thing is that, in the ring the boxer killed his opponent accidentally and now he refuses to fight," Chakotay explained enthusiastically.

"Sounds good. I'll have to read it sometime. Did you remember to breathe during all of that?" B'Elanna grinned. "Anyways, the reason I called was because Tom and Harry had a really good idea, but they didn't think much of it."

"So, you're just taking the initiative?" Chakotay asked, humor coloring his voice.

"You could say that. Their idea was to set up games that could be played over our monitors, like poker or chess," she revealed.

"Hmm, it sounds interesting. I'll mention it to Kathryn," Chakotay sensing that there was something else. "Is there anything you wanted to ask me?"

B'Elanna hesitated. "Now or never," she said softly. "What *did* happen when you and the Captain were stuck down on that planet?"

Chakotay smiled in that mysterious way of his. "That, my dear friend, is between Kathryn and myself. I'll speak with you later," he said right before severing the connection. Chakotay leaned back in his chair and laughed over the fact that people where still wanting to now what went on between their two highest ranking officers on that practical paradise. Chakotay was trying to solve that puzzle for himself.

He yawned and glanced at the chronometer, rubbed his eyes, and checked it again. It showed the same time, 1130 hours. He tapped his commbadge and said, "Chakotay to Janeway." He waited a few moments then tried again and still got no response. Getting concerned, Chakotay walked over to the new door. Finding it was unlocked he stepped into darkness.

"Kathryn," he called out, not wanting to invade her privacy. Hearing nothing, Chakotay stepped into the main living area. "Computer, lights on to thirty percent," he ordered. He walked softly towards Kathryn's bedroom. Just as he could make out Kathryn's sleeping form, she rolled onto her side. Now that Chakotay could see her face, he noticed that she was dreaming. He crept over to her bed and sat gently by her. Kathryn mumbled something and shifted to lie on her back. Chakotay leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Kathryn," he said softly, "Wake up."

She opened her eyes slowly and smiled up at Chakotay. Kathryn brought her hand to his face and brushed his lips with her thumb, sending a chill down his spine. Before Chakotay regained control of his senses, or wanted to, Kathryn sat up and kissed him passionately. Kathryn's hands were roaming, in his hair, over his back, on his chest.

Then Chakotay remembered who he was, who she was, where they were, everything. He barely managed to separate himself from Kathryn. When he did, Kathryn laid back down easily. Chakotay silently said a prayer of thanks and prepared himself for the acting performance of a lifetime.

"Computer, raise illumination to eighty percent," he said brightly. "Rise and shine, Kathryn. It's almost lunch time," Chakotay said, hoping he didn't sound too cheerful.

"To quote a grand smart-aleck, 'I'll rise, but I refuse to shine.'" Kathryn smiled and stretched gracefully while still lying down. She didn't even realize that she was displaying her nighttime lingerie. Chakotay was struggling not to notice. She sighed contentedly and said, "So, what's for lunch, Chef?" Kathryn sat up with a flourish and looked questioningly at Chakotay.

"I haven't decided yet," he replied, astonished at her incredibly good mood.

"Then we'll just have to remedy that. How do you feel about some pasta?" she asked walking past him towards her closet.

"Sounds good. I'll get started." Chakotay walked as casually as possibly to his quarters. Kathryn was relieved that he didn't ask her if she had any dreams. She didn't feel awake enough to dodge that one. Kathryn also felt very happy for no discernable reason.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 4

by Lissa Pearl

As Chakotay cooked, Kathryn watched. Everytime he successfully showed off, whether by tossing a pan full of vegetables or just doing something skillfully, Kathryn smiled. And everytime he messed up while trying to be cute, she laughed.

Once, he bumped into the sink and sent an avalanche of metal to the floor. Cringing at the sound, Chakotay said, "Oh, yeah, that was fun. Let's do that again real soon."

"Sure. Just as long as you are the one cooking," Kathryn laughed spiritedly. Chakotay grinned like a Cheshire cat and flicked some cool water at her. "Do you really want to start a food fight, Chakotay?" she asked dangerously as she came to where Chakotay stood.

Chakotay raised an eyebrow and said, "If you're back here you have to cook something."

"Wicked man," Kathryn grinned as she retreated, "I'll get even later."

"I look forward to it," Chakotay saucily replied. Kathryn picked up a cherry tomato and popped it into her mouth.

"Good," she said tartly. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Kathryn suddenly said, "It all smells so good. Will it be done soon?"

"In about five minutes. Would you be so kind as to set the table?" Chakotay asked grinning. Kathryn did as requested, with flourish.

"Done. How much longer now?" she asked eagerly.

"Soon," he replied, reveling in torturing her.

"Anytime this century?"

"About now, actually," Chakotay said as he picked up the pan and walking to the table, balancing carefully.

"Coffee, black," Kathryn ordered from the replicator. "Do you want anything?"

"Iced tea, please," Chakotay replied while serving lunch.

*After Lunch*

"B'Elanna gave me a very interesting bit of information earlier," Chakotay said.

"What did she tell you?" Kathryn asked curiously.

"That Tom and Harry had the idea to set up a system of games over our monitors," Chakotay answered.

"I wonder what prompted that idea," Kathryn said sarcastically, but good-naturedly. "What sort of games?" she asked.

"Probably card and board games."

"Hmm... Janeway to Paris," she said after she tapped her commbadge. A bit of and evil grin was gracing her face.

"Paris here, Captain. What can I do for you?"

"I want a joint report, from you and Ensign Kim, on how you propose to set up a game system over the monitors by 0800 hours, tomorrow."

"Yes, Captain," Tom said. Kathryn and Chakotay could almost see him blanche over the comm. system.

"Just send it to my monitor. Janeway out," she said. "Speaking of reports, where are the ones Tuvok sent?"

"There are none. He did them while we were in sickbay," said Chakotay.

"What!" she exclaimed. "I'll have to tell him to at least leave us the reports," Kathryn said. Chakotay laughed. "What's so funny?"

Chakotay cleared his throat and said, "I just had a strange vision of the entire senior staff plotting against us. Each one of them coming up with new ways to keep us from working. With my twisted mind, it's actually quite funny." Kathryn grinned.

"Sometimes, I want to know what's going on in that head of yours, and sometimes I think it would scare me," Kathryn declared with a smile.

"Afraid of being contaminated, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked grinning with dimples in full force.

"Far too late for that," she shot back with humor flavoring every word.

"True," he conceded. "What are you going to spend your afternoon on?"

"I haven't gotten that far. You?" Kathryn asked.

"Same here. I was thinking of reading more of the book you're loaning me," admitted Chakotay.

"Oh, you've started already? What do you think so far?" she asked, pleased.

"It's great. I'm can't wait to find out what happens next," he said. "I'm about a fifth done now."

"I have an idea. I'll be right back," Kathryn said as she disappeared into her quarters. "I've just started reading a book. So, I figured why don't we just read until time to make dinner." she said upon her return.

"I like that idea. What are you reading?" Chakotay asked as she curled up into a ball at the other end of the couch.

"I'm reading "Anne of Green Gables." It's about a redheaded orphan witha knack for doing the wrong thing. I think, if just a few details were changed, it could be called 'Kathryn, at age fourteen,'" she smiled openly. Chakotay laughed.

"Let's read before you revert to age fourteen, then," Chakotay grinned and settled onto the opposite end of the couch.

Every now and again, Kathryn and Chakotay would steal a glance at the other, without getting caught. Just after Kathryn had gotten past the second chapter of her book, she realized that her dream was set in the very book she had loaned Chakotay, sort of. That realization made her smile broadly at the silliness of it. Kathryn managed to hide her smile behind her book and eventually start reading again.

Later, Chakotay pulled an afghan off the couch and spread it over him. He barely noticed a small tug on the fabric, until he realized that he was still cold. Chakotay lifted his eyes from his book to find the culprit snuggled up in his afghan.

"I never would have thought you were a blanket hog, Kathryn," he said teasingly.

"Hmm?" she responded, so involved in her book was she. Chakotay got a mischievous grin on his face and suddenly jerked the blanket back to him. "Hey!" Kathryn said indignantly, "I was using that."

Before a war broke out Chakotay said, "We could share." Kathryn gave him a funny look and moved to his end of the couch.

When Chakotay didn't react, she said, "Do you want to share or not? After all, it was your idea." Chakotay had that 'I'm an idiot' look on his face for a second, then shifted so both he and Kathryn could be comfortable. Kathryn snuggled next to him with her legs curled under her. Chakotay put his arm behind her and was pleasantly surprised at how natural it felt. Kathryn enjoying this far more than she thought she should... not like that made her move away or anything, though. Both had smiles on their faces while they read.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 5

by Lissa Pearl

They awoke at 1818 hours to the sound of "Torres to Chakotay." The sleepers jumped. Chakotay was preparing to tap his commbadge when Kathryn did it for him. Her motivation was purely selfish, she didn't want to move or lose her pillow.

"Chakotay here," he said, smiling at Kathryn.

"What were you doing this time? I've paged your monitor four different times in the past hour," B'Elanna rattled on impatiently.

"I was asleep," Chakotay laughed.

"Oh...well, go turn on your monitor," she said. Chakotay stood, receiving a mock-pout from Kathryn, and turned on his monitor. "It's just a test model," B'Elanna continued. On the screen was a primitive, but usable game of hearts set up.

"How long have they been working on this?" Chakotay asked.

"Since they got off-duty. Right now, they are trying to find a way for the games to played in quarters only. Otherwise, people would be playing during duty and the entire system would have to be taken down," B'Elanna explained. "They want to have that worked out before they write the report."

"Tell them that if they need an extension on the deadline to just send me a quick message. I don't want them to lose any sleep over this," Kathryn said.

"Hello, Captain...I'll do that," B'Elanna was quickly putting two and two together, but somehow ended up with twenty. "Torres out." Kathryn laughed loudly.

"Oh, what I would have given to see the look on her face just then," she said between gales of laughter. "How far do you think it will get?" Kathryn suddenly asked, very seriously.

"I honestly don't know. She will definitely tell Tom, and possibly Harry. I don't think they'll tell," Chakotay reassured Kathryn.

"I hope not. The rumor mill would have a field day. Remember the ones that floated around when Tom and B'Elanna first started dating. They thought they were being so careful," Kathryn laughed.

"It was ridiculous. The way they snuck around and avoided each other only made it worse," Chakotay chuckled.

"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for the dressing down I gave them that one time," Kathryn said *much* like she had forgiven herself.

"What do want for dinner?" Chakotay asked.

"Hmmm, vegetarian spaghetti?" she offered and a suggestion. "I know of a perfect recipe in the replicators."

Works for me. I'll set the table," he said. Kathryn walked over to the replicator and set it so the credits would be taken from her account. Then she tapped in the code for the spaghetti and was soon carrying two very hot plates to the table.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch." she sat the plates down hurriedly. "I have got to remember to use pot holders."

"That would be a good idea," Chakotay said, trying not to snicker.

"Ha, ha," she said dryly.

*2200 hours, thereabouts*

Everything was long cleaned up and Chakotay and Kathryn were reading again. They were sitting in very similar positions to earlier in the day. After a while, Chakotay felt a familiar, painful tingle in his arm. When he tried to pull his arm away he realized that he was trapped because a certain someone was asleep again.

"Kathryn," he said softly. Her response was a little moan. "Are you asleep?" asked Chakotay.

"Yes," she answered throatily. He smiled.

"How deep?"

"Very. Quit moving," mumbled Kathryn. Chakotay laughed softly and gently lifted Kathryn just enough for his escape. She squinted one eye open and said, "Where is my pillow running off to?"

"A land far, far away."

"Before you go, could I have a cup of coffee?"

"I guess," he said indulgently. Chakotay stretched and rubbed his neck before lumbering over to the replicator. Unbeknownst to Chakotay, Kathryn was now wide awake and watching him with an approving eye. When Chakotay turned, coffee in hand, he caught the look before she could hide it. Kathryn stared pointedly at the coffee, but it was too late. Chakotay, for the moment, decided to play along.

"Here you go," Chakotay sat the steaming mug on the coffee table and sat on the floor using the couch as a backrest. He turned his head, first right, then left, earning aloud pop each time for his effort.

Kathryn winced as she sipped her coffee. "Did that hurt?"

"No, my neck is just stiff," Chakotay replied. Kathryn sat up and started rubbing Chakotay's neck and shoulders. He relaxed almost immediately. He moved forward to let her get closer. They leaned into each other. Kathryn put her hands under his shirt to feel the warm skin of his back. Chakotay shivered at her touch. Together they peeled off his shirt.

Then Chakotay started running his hands teasingly up and down Kathryn's legs while she massaged his back. When he felt her lips tenderly caress his skin, he couldn't sit still any longer. Chakotay spun to face Kathryn and kissed her with a passion that spoke of years of longing. She kissed him back with a fevered passion. When the kiss finally broke, Chakotay looked deep into her eyes. Kathryn willed herself to not think, to just live. She kissed him again, running her nails across his back.

He began to unbutton Kathryn's blouse when she turned her attention to his neck. She nipped and kissed while Chakotay was tantalizingly undressing her. Kathryn heard a small, miniscule voice in the back of her head. It was telling her to come to her senses that this wouldn't work. She told it to shut up. Chakotay was beginning to think he was dreaming. He would do anything for her to stay with him tonight. Chakotay decided to take a chance on fate.

"I love you," he sighed into Kathryn's ear. Caught off guard, she froze, too frightened to budge. Chakotay furrowed his brow and pulled back just enough to see her face. He had expected her to immediately respond in kind or crush his soul. Kathryn's features showed the age-old struggle of fight or flight.

"I..." she began, "I love you, too." Kathryn pulled Chakotay to her forcefully and kissed him as she had dreamed of not eleven hours ago. Chakotay lifted Kathryn up and carried her to the bedroom while locked in a tight embrace.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 6

by Lissa Pearl

*0903 hours*

Chakotay awoke smiling. At first, he couldn't remember why he was so happy. Then he noticed the weight of a hand on his chest and a leg slung over his. Chakotay's smile deepened until his dimples could be seen many light-years away. He breathed in deeply and took Kathryn's hand in his. Chakotay marveled at how tiny her hands were. It amazed him to think of all the wonderful things she could do with them. She could fix the shields, pilot a shuttle, destroy a meal, or anything else she wanted to do. It was also nice that Kathryn gave superb back rubs.

When he rolled onto his side, his back stung bitterly. Chakotay winced slightly and smiled again. He knew he'd need to convince Kathryn to trim her nails soon. Chakotay kissed the palm of Kathryn's hand, waking her.

"Hello there, handsome," she greeted huskily with a sweet and sleepy smile.

"Good morning," Chakotay said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Sleep was *not* my priority last night," Kathryn replied flirtatiously, making Chakotay grin a bashfully.

"No need to remind me," he added. Last night had not been restful in any way. What sleep the couple did get was brought on by sheer exhaustion. Kathryn revealed her special smile, the one that wouldn't come out for anyone else. Chakotay had never seen her like this. Kathryn was absolutely radiant. He leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," Chakotay announced.

"So soon?" Kathryn asked seductively.

"Why? What do you have in mind?" Chakotay asked, eyebrow raised suggestively.

"A little of this, a little of that," Kathryn replied trailing her fingers along his bare chest. Chakotay grinned.

"Oh, really? I think that can be arranged..." They kissed, only to be interrupted by a distant chirp of a commbadge.

"Computer, lights to eighty percent." Kathryn rolled her eyes and walked, clad only in pink lace panties, to the source of the sound. Chakotay was soon to follow, wrapping the sheet around his waist. Kathryn located her blouse and tapped her badge.

"Janeway here," she sighed like she had been sound asleep, then grinned devilishly at Chakotay.

"Good morning, Captain. Did I wake you?" asked the Doctor in an annoyingly cheerful voice.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you did. But it's okay," Kathryn tried to grumble at the Doctor but failed miserably because of her good mood.

"Hmm...Were you fatigued yesterday?" the Doctor asked since he knew that Kathryn Janeway almost never slept past o7oo.

"I did sleep a lot," she admitted. Kathryn bit her lip, getting concerned. Chakotay gently rubbed her back to relax her. She smiled and silently mouthed *thanks.*

"I'd like for you and the Commander to beam to sickbay. I want to run more scans," the Doctor said like it was a routine request. Kathryn's grip on the blouse tightened.

"Is something wrong?" Kathryn asked before leaning against Chakotay and pulling his hand to her heart.

"No, no. I just thought of some more tests to run. There is nothing to worry about. When would you like to come to sickbay?" The Doctor's voice had sounded oddly strained to Kathryn.

She realized it hadn't been her imagination when she turned to Chakotay. His brow was furrowed and his eyes stared off into the distance. Kathryn caught his attention and mouthed *when?* His answer was ten fingers.

"1000 hours would work nicely, Doctor," Kathryn answered smoothly.

"All right. I'll contact the Commander," the Doctor said much more naturally that before, but there was sing a sour note to his voice.

"Janeway out," Kathryn tapped her commbadge and swiftly grabbed up Chakotay's shirt. She handed it to him just before it chirped.

"Chakotay here," he said neutrally.

"Good morning, Commander," the Doctor said fairly normally. "I'm having the Captain beam to sickbay for some tests. Could you come, too?"

"Sure, when?" Chakotay asked, knowing full well the answer.

"1000 hours. Feel free to sedate her if necessary," said the Doctor wryly.

" Will do, Doctor, will do," Chakotay laughed, fending off Kathryn's half-serious glare by brushing her lips with his thumb.

"Commander...Were you unusually tired yesterday?" asked the Doctor.

"Not really. Why do you ask?" Chakotay probed.

"It's probably nothing. See you at 1000,"

"Chakotay out," he smiled at Kathryn, "I'll go take my shower now."

"I'll be back after I get ready," Kathryn said distractedly. She pulled on her blouse and watched Chakotay walk to his bathroom. "My God! What did I do to you!?" She exclaimed when she saw the claw marks on Chakotay's back.

Chakotay turned, grinned, and charmingly said, "Nothing I minded much at the time." Kathryn blushed.

"Too bad the Doctor would detect freshly regenerated skin," she said, smiling wickedly. "If Tom is in sickbay this morning, we'll never hear the end of this."

"True. We could always try to blackmail him," Chakotay suggested.

"With what? Now that B'Elanna is pregnant, you couldn't find a more upstanding gentleman," Kathryn laughed as she approached the door between their quarters.

"How about bribery?" Chakotay suggested.

"It has possibilities. See you soon," Kathryn disappeared into her quarters.

*0954 hours*

Kathryn steps into Chakotay's quarters in civilian wear. He was sitting at his desk looking at the monitor. "Hello there," Chakotay smiled affectionately. "Come look at this," he spun the monitor around and handed a small padd to Kathryn. The padd was attached to the monitor by a thin, black wire.

"Hello. Wow," Kathryn said when she saw the screen. The monitor was on a sign in page. At the top in large red print, were words that formed the sentences: *Welcome to Voyager's Game Center. Down Below, you can sign in under an alias and play any game you wish. If you wish to remain anonymous, then just pick a good nickname that no one knows about. Please, do not try to use this from workstations. A loud screeching noise will alert others to your attempt.*

"I can't wait to try it out," Kathryn said, "But, first we have to go to sickbay. Too bad I can't take a raincheck."

"Do I have to sedate you?" Chakotay asked. Then before she could reply, Chakotay tapped his commbadge and said, "Chakotay to sickbay. We're ready for transport."

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 7

by Lissa Pearl

*Sickbay*

Kathryn and Chakotay materialized in sickbay behind the forcefield. "Hello," the Doctor said from his place from behind a console.

"Hi, Doctor," said Chakotay.

"Hello. So, Doctor, what tests will you be running today?" Kathryn asked semi-cheerfully since Tom was nowhere in sight.

"I want to analyze some more of your blood. Also, some modifications have been made to the medical equipment that will make finding each virus much easier," said the Doctor as he came into the alcove. There was already a tray of medical instruments by the biobed. "Captain, if you may," the Doctor gestured for her to take a seat.

"Sooner, the better," she said. Kathryn sat as still as possible so she'd be done that much more quickly. The Doctor noticed during his scanning of Kathryn that the hormones and chemicals in her system suggested sexual activity. He then decided strongly against mentioning it. The Doctor also decided that he should update their boosters soon.

"Captain, other that the dormant viruses, you are the picture of health," the Doctor proclaimed as he took blood samples.

"That's good to hear, Doctor," Kathryn smiled as she hopped off the biobed, leaving a warm spot for Chakotay. "Your turn."

"Thanks," Chakotay took the offered spot. The Doctor noticed the same signs of sexual activity in Chakotay, as well as an extra one.

"Commander, if you'll remove your shirt, I'll heal the skin on your back," the Doctor said as neutrally as he could muster. To assure them that their secret was safe he added, "I won't forget doctor-patient confidentiality."

They grinned broadly and Chakotay took off his shirt as Kathryn said, "Thank you. It's much appreciated."

Just then, the sickbay doors swished open. In stepped Seven of Nine. "Hello," she said noticing Kathryn and Chakotay.

"Morning, Seven," said Chakotay.

"Hi," Kathryn said. Seven walked to the console the Doctor was working at earlier.

"I have thought of some new adjustments. Shall I download them into the computer for you?" she asked the Doctor.

"Sure, thank you," replied the Doctor. From her vantage point, Seven could just barely see the claw makes on Chakotay's back. Jealousy was seething just behind her poker face. She did her best to concentrate on the task at hand, but in the back of her mind the decision to permanently delete her real-life simulation was already made.

"I am finished. Is there anything else you require?" Seven asked, trying to avoid looking at a now fully clothed Chakotay, and especially Kathryn. Her captain, her mentor, her surrogate mother, was now the focus of and irrational fury the likes of which Seven had never experienced.

"Nothing I can think of. Thank you, Seven. I'll see you later," the Doctor said as he took blood from Chakotay.

"Bye," Seven said numbly.

"Goodbye, Seven," Chakotay said, unaware of how he made her ache.

"Have a nice day," said Kathryn, smiling genuinely.

"Good day," Seven managed to say, then she fled sickbay and headed straight for the holodeck. The Doctor knew why Seven left so soon. He hoped that this would force her to start having real relationships instead of interacting with inaccurate imitations.

"Commander, you have one virus that has become active sometime in the past three hours. I'm going to prepare the correct serum and give to both of you," the Doctor said once the doors were shut.

"Okay, Doctor," Kathryn said, sitting on the biobed next to Chakotay. "I have a feeling that sickbay will become very familiar," she said when he Doctor was out of sight.

"More than likely," Chakotay agreed. He smiled at her and took her hand in his. Kathryn smiled back easily. On the tray by the bed materialized two hypospray canisters.

"Here we go," the Doctor said as he walked back into the alcove. "I did the same as last time. Perhaps we should set up a schedule of checkups," he said as he loaded the first hypospray and dosed Chakotay.

In just a few seconds, Chakotay had blanched. "Doctor," Kathryn said urgently laying Chakotay on the bed. His breathing had become light and ragged. Chakotay's eyes were locked with Kathryn's. His eyes were disbelieving and pierced her heart. She could only watch as he began to convulse violently.

Immediately, the Doctor took one of the already prepared hyposprays off the tray, pressed it to Chakotay's necked, and tapped the release button. Chakotay stopped convulsing and slipped into unconsciousness.

"What happened?" Kathryn asked with a slightly tremoring voice. "What did you give him?"

"When I cured you both of the active virus, the dormant viruses must have found a way to adapt. Maybe the dying virus sent out a chemical warning," the Doctor frowned, "When I tried the same method as before, the active virus unleashed every defense it had. I gave him the counter agent," said the Doctor while scanning Chakotay's still form. "I'll have to study the scans more thoroughly to understand just what happened," he said as he took more blood and downloaded the scans into the computer.

"Will he be alright?" Kathryn asked, trying to pull on her Captain's mask.

"Yes, he will be fine. The active virus destroyed itself. I think he should stay her for a few hours. I want to observe him," the Doctor said, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder, "He will be alright."

"I want to stay with him," Kathryn said firmly.

"Of course. I'll beam in a chair," the Doctor said, knowing full well that Kathryn did not hear a word of what he said.

She running her through Chakotay's hair lovingly before the Doctor was even in his office. Kathryn traced his tattoo with the lightest of touches, as she had when he was deep asleep the night before. She had a hollow ache in her heart. She didn't even notice when the chair materialized right beside her.

Kathryn barely acknowledged the Doctor's presence when he gave Chakotay a hypo of healing agents. Her mind was spinning with every worst-case scenario possible. Eventually, she sat in the chair and took Chakotay's hand in her own. Kathryn's eyes hurt with the effort it took to not cry.

Ninety-nine percent of her mind was filled with worry for Chakotay. The one percent left was the voice from the night before. Only this time, it was berating her for not listening, accusing her of being reckless. The voice was full of the song of self-preservation. Kathryn didn't have the will power to turn it off this time.

Kathryn was getting scared. She didn't want to lose Chakotay, or their friendship. She didn't want to hurt him. Kathryn was slowly deciding to break it off. Her entire being ached at the thought of it. The only option she could she was retreat. Kathryn would retreat to the Captain persona and never appear again.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 8

by Lissa Pearl

*1326 hours, Chakotay's quarters*

Chakotay and Kathryn materialized in his quarters only a few seconds ago. He was sore from his little adventure in sickbay, so he walked slowly and very carefully. Kathryn helped him to the couch. Instead of sitting with Chakotay holding him close, like she wanted to so badly, she began to talk.

"Chakotay, this isn't going to work," Kathryn said, the pain in her eyes evident.

"Kathryn, what are you talking about?" Chakotay asked, trying to not believe his ears.

"When you were lying on that biobed, I realized that if I ever lost you, I'd be devastated. Everytime you became injured, I'd be in sickbay the whole time, not even giving a thought to Voyager," she began to back away to the door between their quarters. "I can't do that. I am responsible for the lives of everyone on this ship. I can't afford to love you the way I want to." By now, Chakotay had walked to Kathryn and put his hand lovingly on her cheek.

"Kathryn, you are a strong, very capable woman. If I was hurt, you would ensure the safety of Voyager before anything else," he kissed her feverish forehead. "I know that, and I wouldn't even think of making it different. I would never want you to put me ahead of our crew."

"I never told you how I lost Justin...did I?" Kathryn asked, shuddering faintly. "He was with my father and I on Tau Ceti Prime. The section that they were in broke through the ice. They both died because I couldn't choose which one to save," she said thickly. Chakotay pulled her into a warm embrace, barely noticing the pain he received with every moment.

"I had only enough power to transport one. I couldn't choose, so I searched for more power. When I had found it, they were gone," Kathryn said, her voice cracking. Chakotay kissed her, trying to give what comfort he could. "After I came home, I went into a deep depression. All I ever did was sleep. It was all I could do to stop the pain, if only for a little while. If it wasn't for Phoebe, I'd still be in Indiana, sleeping the day away."

"You're stronger now. You will do what's best for the ship. Voyager has been your life ever since I met you. You won't forget that if something happens to me," Chakotay was rocking Kathryn side to side in an effort to calm the storm inside of her.

"I can't take the risk that you aren't right. I can't put you second, I love you too much. This is the only way." Kathryn pulled back to look into his eyes and put a finger over his lips. "Someday, you will move on-"

"Never," he said passionately. "I love you."

"You'll have to. Chakotay, I want you to be happy. Please, please, promise me that you will be happy," Kathryn touched her forehead to his hoping that maybe that would make him bend to her will. She didn't want to ever let go of him. "Please," Kathryn whispered, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I will never be truly happy without you," Chakotay said before crushing Kathryn in a kiss, hoping that he could end this and make it go away forever. Kathryn couldn't resist kissing him back. The kiss was bittersweet and both of them put everything they had into it. "You are the love of my life," Chakotay said when the kiss broke.

"Please, don't say that again," Kathryn said like she had been mortally wounded. "I can't bear it."

"Stay. Don't do this," He pleaded. She pulled out of his grasp and fled to her quarters.

Chakotay followed, but not quick enough due to his aching body. The doors were shut and locked. Chakotay debated using his security over-ride. Then he discarded that idea in favor of punching the door. If he went in now, Kathryn would only strengthen her resolve.

Despite the pain Chakotay was in, the only thing he wanted to do was go to the holodeck and have several rounds in the boxing ring. He figured that maybe if he abused his body enough, maybe his emotional pain would dull in comparison. But since the holodeck wasn't an option at the moment, he decided to read. Then, he remembered that Kathryn had loaned him the book he was reading, and he scrapped that idea.

So, he buried himself in work. Tuvok had left the reports to Kathryn and Chakotay today, surprisingly enough. When his mind strayed, his eyes latched onto Kathryn's bra. It was flung carelessly on the floor, a strong reminder of the night before. Chakotay gathered up Kathryn's clothes and folded them. Then he placed them on the end of the couched with the book she had been reading on top. When his stomach growled, Chakotay forced some food down his throat but not much at all. He just wasn't really hungry.

Chakotay spent the rest of his waking hours trying to work. Everytime he got a good start, his eyes darted to her clothes and the pain would flood his senses again. Finally, Chakotay went to bed. It wasn't easy for him. His bed only pulled every memory of the night before out of him. He forced himself to lie down and sleep, without much success at first. Then he slipped into a light sleep.

~*~<@>~*~

When Kathryn had finally managed to get herself under control, she saw the image of Chakotay's anguished face. That image almost made her go back to him and ask for forgiveness. Then, that little voice told her to stay still, that it was for the best. The voice's only other accomplishment to make her cry even harder.

After a long while, Kathryn was all cried out. She read Tom and Harry's report on the game system and sent them a go ahead. Then, she dived straight into the other reports Tuvok had sent, pausing only for coffee and a light dinner.

By the time she had finished the reports, it was already 2200 hours. Since her book was in Chakotay's quarters, she decided to just got to bed. Kathryn ordered the lights off walked into her bedroom, half-wanting Chakotay to be asleep in her bed. He wasn't. Kathryn slipped into a nightgown and laid down with a pillow in her arms. She wrapped the blankets tight around her, trying to cocoon herself from the pain. After a while, she drifted into a fitful sleep.

Kathryn was having the dream again. It was the same, yet very different. The sky was just as threatening. The wind was still whipping...only the wind had nothing to whip. The field was barren. Only dust, stones and long dead plants existed.

The distant lightening flashed, and Kathryn bolted. She couldn't run as fast as before, because in place of the soft grass was hard rocks and sand that cut her bare feet. As she ran, she noticed her dress. It was a dull grey-yellow. The dress was torn and hung loosely on her frame. Soon, she saw the ruins of before and strived to reach them.

Again, the rain caught her. Only, this rain was foul and stale. Kathryn flung herself into the doorway. There, just a few feet away was Chakotay. But, he looked so different. His cheeks were sunken and he had grizzled stubble. His eyes were the worst. His eyes were full of misery that could not be put into words.

"Chakotay," Kathryn said in the dream. This time there was no comforting embrace or passionate kiss. The dream Chakotay just kept on his side of the archway. He stared at her with wounded eyes, saying nothing.

When Kathryn reached out to touch Chakotay, he crumpled to the ground. "No," Kathryn screamed, finding herself in her bed, alone. She wanted Chakotay to hold her so badly. Kathryn pulled herself into a little ball and rocked herself until she stopped shuddering. The last thing Kathryn wanted right now was another dream.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 9

by Lissa Pearl

Kathryn padded to the door separating her from what she wanted. She hesitated, going through all she said to Chakotay earlier. She reached up her hand to put in the code would unlock the door.

Then, that little voice piped up. It said that Kathryn was behaving like little child. I t taunted her with images of Chakotay rejecting her. Kathryn gave up a dry sob. She had to be sure that he was okay.

"Finally, Kathryn won the battle and unlocked the door. The first thing she saw in the darkness was the couch and the starlight reflecting off the cover of her book. Then she realized that under the book were her clothes. Kathryn was half-tempted to take her things and flee. But, if she did then Chakotay would know that she came in the night, and she didn't want him to know. She had to see Chakotay.

Chakotay woke up to the hiss of the doors. He almost jumped up to see who his late night visitor was. Then he remembered that the only person it could be was Kathryn. He figured that she was just coming to retrieve her clothes. Chakotay was about to go to her, when he heard her light footsteps by his bedroom door.

He pretended to be asleep for no discernible reason. Chakotay kept his breathing deep and even. He opened one eye to a slit and saw her leaning against the doorframe. Kathryn was wearing a silky nightgown that glowed with her hair in the starlight. She had her arms crossed over her chest. Each time she breathed in, a little shudder accompanied it.

Kathryn studied Chakotay head to toe, making sure everything was as it should be. She was a fragile wreck in a storm of emotion. Her dream had been so real. Kathryn quietly crept to his side. She brushed her fingers along his jaw. He was sprawled across the bed like he was trying to make up for lost space. Chakotay was on his side with his arms possessively covering the space Kathryn had occupied the night before.

She ran her thumb across his lips lightly as a tear fell to his hand. Chakotay startled just enough for Kathryn to know he was awake. "I'll go," she said as softly and she could.

"Stay," Chakotay said as he pulled the blankets back and grasped her hand. Kathryn faltered and started to pull away. Then she saw the image of him in her dream flicker across her mind. She fell into Chakotay's arms, trying to forget everything but him. Chakotay's arm formed an iron vice around her. He was determined to keep her from sneaking away in the night.

"I'm sorry-" Kathryn mumbled into his neck.

"Ssshh, don't speak, sleep," Chakotay said, brushing her hair out of her face with his free hand. They could talk tomorrow. All that mattered right now was that they were together.

Kathryn was so glad that Chakotay didn't turn her away. Just to be held by him made her feel infinitely better. The fact that he didn't want to talk yet calmed her. She kissed him gently and whispered, "I love you," before she let herself try to fall asleep again.

"I love you, too," Chakotay said tenderly. He pulled Kathryn closer still and tucked her head under his chin. Chakotay fell asleep thinking about how well they fit together. Kathryn fell asleep wondering how she could make this all work.

*0743 hours, Chakotay's quarters*

Kathryn woke first. Everything was so hazy. It seemed like she had been asleep for years. She felt complete, yet saddened. Kathryn slowly opened her eyes and saw, to her pleasure, Chakotay's peaceful face. She smiled and reached out to run her fingers through his hair. Then, reality came crashing down as she remembered yesterday. Kathryn pulled her hand back and attempted to wiggle out of Chakotay's strong arms.

"You're not leaving until we've talked," Chakotay murmured, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

"How long have you been awake?" Kathryn asked while trying to get comfortable again.

"Since I felt you shifting around," he answered, opening his eyes and peering into Kathryn's. Sensing that Kathryn wasn't going to start talking anytime soon, Chakotay asked, "Why did you come back last night?"

"I had a nightmare...I had to make sure you were alright," she answered quietly.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked, rubbing her back lightly, but still keeping one arm firmly locked around her waist.

"I've had this dream once before. The first time was very nice. I was in a field during a storm. I ran to a structure in the distance. You were there, waiting for me. We kissed...then you came in to wake me," Kathryn smiled at the recollection.

"I have a small confession to make," Chakotay grinned slightly. "When I came in to wake you...we kissed. And believe me, it was very difficult to act like nothing had happened."

"I wondered why you were so happy," Kathryn smiled. As the smile faded, she said, "The nightmare was almost the complete opposite of my first dream. The field was dead, but the storm still raged on. I ran to the structure and you were there again. But this time you looked gaunt and sad. When I said your name, you just folded over. That's when I woke up." Kathryn was shivering, not from being cold. Chakotay pulled the blankets over her and kissed her forehead.

"Why did I have such a horrible dream?" Kathryn asked, not expecting a real answer.

"It was your subconscious trying to deal with a difficult situation," said Chakotay. They laid in silence for a while, thinking over what the other had said.

"I don't want to live without you," Kathryn said, putting her hand on Chakotay's bare chest, over his heart.

"You don't have to," Chakotay responded. She kissed him hungrily, trying to make up for lost time. He pulled back, confusing Kathryn. "Are we okay now?" he asked. Those few words had so many meaning to Kathryn.

"We'll be better than okay," Kathryn told him without hesitation. They smiled, knowing that everything would work out somehow.

"Computer, reset alarm for tomorrow," Chakotay said just before it was due to go off. Kathryn grinned and kissed Chakotay again. He laughed and flung the blankets over them, banishing out the morning. Amid giggles and nightclothes being tossed this way and that, healing began.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 10

by Lissa Pearl

Kathryn and Chakotay were happy together. But the happiness was somewhat an illusion. At anytime one of them could get sick and there wasn't a quick cure anymore. Each of them wore a brave face, not letting the other know their fears. Every moment together was treasured. They acted as natural as possible, considering the circumstances.

The Doctor checked them over every two or three days and he'd give them different things to boost their immune systems. He was working on finding a cure day and night while a team worked on perfecting the scanners. Tom had been volunteering extra shifts in sickbay to help cover the normal injuries. The only way the Doctor wanted use nanoprobes to find and destroy the viruses was if he could be sure that each mutation was found. So, he was trying to find chemical agent that would simultaneously kill each version of the virus. The team and the Doctor weren't making as near as much progress as they would have liked.

Therefore, Kathryn and Chakotay spent their time being as happy as they could. Every argument, big and small, was smoothed over by the time they went to bed. Each night they enjoyed the comfort of each other. Then, one morning:

"Chakotay, I don't feel so good," Kathryn shakily as she leaned on the doorframe to her bathroom. Chakotay awoke instantly to the sound of her voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked, standing quickly and crossing the space between them. "You're burning up!" Chakotay said when he touched her cheek.

"I feel like I'm swimming," Kathryn said as her knees buckled. He picked her up and carried her to the bed, feeling the heat coming from her. Chakotay laid her down and picked up his commbadge.

"Code Violet," Chakotay said into it. Overtime, it had been decided that 'Code Violet' meant that one of them needed 'immediate medical assistance'. Chakotay picked Kathryn back up and waited for the coming familiar shimmer and tingle.

When they materialized in sickbay the doctor was already prepared for them. Chakotay wordlessly placed Kathryn's yielding form on the biobed and the Doctor began his scans. She was barely awake.

"She said she felt like she was swimming. I don't know how long she's been like this," Chakotay asked before the Doctor could ask. In response, the Doctor nodded, with a solemn look on his face.

"The active virus is one that is in very high concentration in her body." The Doctor scanned Chakotay. "The virus is not active in your system. You should go back to your quarters."

"I'm not leaving her side," Chakotay said firmly. The Doctor just looked at him for a moment then decided not to force him out.

"Commander, when the virus is active, nanoprobes can easily destroy it...but there could be a lot of this mutation that is still dormant," the Doctor stated regretfully. Chakotay looked at his pale and feverish lover.

"Kathryn," he said softly while stroking her cheek comfortingly. "Did you hear what the Doctor said?"

"Yes," she moaned pitifully, her body beginning to ache because of the battle inside.

"Do you want to try it?" Chakotay asked moving a stray hair away from her face.

"Mm-hmm," Kathryn forced out.

"I'll go program the nanoprobes," the Doctor said as her gave her some painkiller. Kathryn's body relaxed almost immediately.

"Cold," she mumbled between clicking teeth. Chakotay reached into the storage compartment of the bed and brought out a blanket. He spread it over her quickly. Then he tucked it around her, shielding her from the cold sickbay air. Chakotay willed himself to be strong for her. He leaned down and kissed her hot forehead lovingly.

Then a tray materialized at the foot of the bed and a chair at the head. Chakotay moved the chair off to the side just as the Doctor returned.

"I don't know how long it will take, or if it will get rid of the strain completely," the Doctor admitted, "But, she'll be feeling a lot better as the amount of the virus decreases." He gave Kathryn the first round of nanoprobes and a hypo of nutrients. "I don't know how many doses she'll need. The nanoprobes may wear themselves out."

When Chakotay said nothing, the Doctor just gave a little shrug. About ten minutes later, he brought Chakotay some breakfast. Two hours later, it had barely been picked at. Chakotay just sat in his chair, completely focused on Kathryn. When she was thirsty, he gave her water. When she couldn't sleep, he hummed or sang for her. Anything she needed, that he could give, was instantly received.

The only thing Chakotay noticed, besides Kathryn, was the Doctor coming in to check on her and to scan him for signs of the virus. Tom and the patients that ambled in didn't even reach the level of background noise for him. He couldn't feel their sad stares or hear their hushed questions. Chakotay wouldn't have cared even if he had.

By mid-day, Kathryn was feeling better. Her fever broke and she was more alert. She was too tired to do anything but hold Chakotay's hand and talk quietly with him. Kathryn had already been given two rounds of nanoprobes. With only three words, "Have you eaten?" and a stern look, Kathryn managed to guilt Chakotay into having a small, late lunch.

At dinnertime, Kathryn was able to sit up and feed herself some soup. She was in a good mood, all things considered. Kathryn easily managed to con Chakotay into giving her a foot rub and a back massage. Of course, Chakotay more than willingly obliged, even with an audience. The audience consisted of Tom, B'Elanna, and the Doctor.

All three filled Kathryn and Chakotay in on the latest of the gossip. B'Elanna told a tale of Seven and Harry. It seems that one day when Seven was rushing from sickbay to the holodeck, she nearly took Harry out. They had turned a corner at the same time. Each went down for a count of ten. For a week straight, they weren't seen without the other when off-duty. Now, they were in a whirlwind romance. Harry was never seen without a smile plastered on his face. Seven was in a good mood, too, not quite smiling all the time, but joking a lot.

By 2100 hours, Kathryn was feeling almost normal. An hour later, she was beyond miserable. Her fever was back and she was shaking. Chakotay's world was crashing around him. Kathryn wasn't getting better.

"The strain has activated it's brothers," the Doctor said looking horrified. "She *has* to go into stasis, *soon*." Right now, Kathryn was trying to sleep. Chakotay sighed heavily and woke her gently witha a kiss on the cheek. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Honey, you're really sick. You need to go into stasis for a while," Chakotay said, forcing tears back.

"I love you," Kathryn said as she ran her fingers over his tattoo.

"I love you, too," Chakotay said, holding her other hand tight.

~*~<@>~*~

Mutations

part 11

By Lissa Pearl

With Kathryn in stasis, Chakotay was tired, in body and mind. After a week without her, he had a set routine. He'd get up, take a shower, then eat breakfast. Only reports would fill his time until lunch. After lunch, Chakotay would be back at the reports until he ran out of them. Then Chakotay would put an entry in his personal log. Somewhere along the line, he'd grab some dinner. Every now and again, he would contact his spirit guide. His guide wasn't of much help and his visions were dark and even more surreal than he was used to.

When Chakotay was missing Kathryn too much to bear, he would write her a letter, just something that would let him feel like she was near. If that wasn't enough, Chakotay went to sickbay. Luckily, the Doctor understood and would let him sit by Kathryn for a while.

But seeing Kathryn so pale and unaware hurt Chakotay more that just missing her. His only consolation was knowing that she wasn't in pain. It was frustrating to not be able to touch her, to feel her hair under his fingers or brush her cheek lovingly. The closest he could get was ten inches away, his hand on the clear shielding above her.

When Kathryn had been in stasis for a little past five weeks, Chakotay was immersed in awkward trade negotiations. Despite the circumstances, Chakotay and the ambassador got along well. In fact, the arrangement of using monitors to communicate was rather convenient. After the ambassador's tour of the ship, it was just a matter of turning on a monitor and establishing a link to get things smoothed out.

Soon, Voyager was back on course and well stocked. The crew had some shoreleave on the planet and should have been happy and well rested. Such was not the case. When their top two commanding officers went under quarantine in the first place, moral spiked. But as time dragged on and no cure was in sight, the crew became edgy. Then when Kathryn went into stasis, the whole crew seemed to lose the ability to laugh.

Almost everyday, B'Elanna or Tom would contact Chakotay and try to bring a little cheer. Each time he spoke with them he acted fine, but they knew better than to believe him. Tom hatched as many practical jokes as he could get away with, just to get Chakotay to laugh when told about them. One of the little adventures included tactical training, a leola cream pie, and Tuvok. The tale had Chakotay gasping for breath. Plus, the fact that B'Elanna got the incident recorded helped immensely. She sent Chakotay a still of Tuvok's cream-filled and obviously irritated face for further enjoyment.

Speaking of Tuvok, he called Chakotay once every four days, at 1600 hours, precisely. During their conversations, they spoke of anything that didn't make it into the reports, the general wellness of the crew, and Kathryn. When Tuvok spoke of Kathryn, his dry wit peeked out. Because of Tuvok, Chakotay now had some interesting things to use as blackmail over Kathryn. His talks with Tuvok always left him feeling sad, but a little more capable of coping with Kathryn's absence.

Neelix's calls were sporadic at best, and full of energy. Chakotay could barely get a word in edgewise. Neelix would chatter endlessly about a new dish he was creating, or who got into an argument with who and why, or who was dating who now. The more Chakotay listened to Neelix, the more Neelix reminded him of a babbling brook. Neelix's calls gave Chakotay a little smile, even if it didn't last long.

One night, as Chakotay lay in bed waiting to fall asleep, and idea flashed through his tired mind. He tried to banish the errant and ridiculous thought, to no avail. He sat up and tried to clear his head. Chakotay breathed in deeply and clenched his eyes from a coming headache. Slowly, he stood and got a glass of water. Chakotay walked over to his windows and stared thoughtfully at the distant stars. The idea floating in his mind was becoming more and more appealing.

Somehow, Chakotay focused his thoughts on the flaws of the idea. Then he laughed at himself. He couldn't believe that for a moment he was considering asking the Doctor to put him in stasis. He could just hear what Kathryn would say to him. She'd tell him that Voyager needed him. She would call him obstinate and irrational, and right now, Chakotay agreed with her. He could just see Kathryn's glare. Just then, a wave of loneliness overcame him.

Numbly, Chakotay went into Kathryn's quarters. He hadn't been here since the day after Kathryn went into stasis. That day, he straightened up her quarters so they'd stay nice while she was away. Now, even with the recycled air, the rooms seemed musty and close. Chakotay sat the now half-full glass on Kathryn's desk and lumbered into the bedroom. Sighing inwardly, he collapsed into Kathryn's bed. His own bed didn't carry even the faintest hint of her scent, yet hers, undisturbed for so long, did hold her essence.

*0924 hours*

"Commander?"

Chakotay moaned and rolled over, throwing the blankets over his head. He felt someone nudge his shoulder gently. "Go away," Chakotay growled softly and sleepily.

"Commander, wake up." The blankets were torn from Chakotay's grasp. He squinted into the now bright room and found the disgruntled face of the Doctor.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay questioned, various bad visions racing through his foggy mind. "Has something happened? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She'll be better than fine soon," the Doctor's face softened to a smile. "We found the key to defeating the virus." Chakotay smiled broadly and shot past the Doctor and into his quarters. By the Doctor got to Chakotay's bedroom doorway, Chakotay was already dressed and ready to go.

"What was the key?" Chakotay asked as he came back into his quarter's main living area.

"The protein that the viruses have in their cell walls is ever so slightly different from the protein that human cells have," the Doctor explained. "Early this morning, adjustments to the scanning equipment made it possible to distinguish between the viruses and normal, healthy cells. Then, I was able to develop an agent that neutralizes only the protein of the viruses."

Chakotay was given the agent while Kathryn was being brought out of stasis. Fortunately, the agent didn't make them sick in any way. In all, it only took about five hours for the viruses to be completely eradicated from their systems. Kathryn was a little weak from being so sick then in stasis for so long, but she was able to leave sickbay with Chakotay after the Doctor had lifted the quarantine.

The fact that Chakotay and Kathryn were able to return to duty or go to the messhall or holodeck didn't quite make it into their minds at first. They were just happy to be well and together.

"Welcome home," Chakotay said after they materialized in Kathryn's quarters. "You have no idea how much I missed you." Kathryn smiled warmly and slipped her arms around Chakotay.

"Well, I'm not planning on going anywhere soon. In fact, I would dearly love to just sleep with you as my pillow for the next month or so," Kathryn sighed happily. "Home, we are home aren't we? I'll never think of another place as fondly as I think of Voyager."

"We are home," Chakotay smiled. "And as for being your pillow, I think that can be arranged for a while, but not for too long. We're back on-duty in two days."

"Hmm, whatever shall we do for two whole days?" Kathryn asked coyly. They grinned at each other. Chakotay picked Kathryn up in a smooth quick motion.

"I have no idea. But, I think we'll manage." Chakotay and Kathryn kissed passionately. Their time apart making Chakotay hold her possessively. He ambled into the bedroom and they landed abruptly on the bed. They laughed and quite happily found something to fill the time until they were due to be back on-duty.

They never did get that door taken out.

~*~<@>~*~The End.~*~<@>~*~

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