Developing intercultural competence
As someone who’s been abroad for more than 6 months, I can safely say that I know a thing or two about intercultural communication. Now, I’m not just talking about language here. What I mean is bridging the cultural divide, learning how to effectively convey my ideas across it, and to properly interpret those coming my way.
I’ve had to struggle quite a bit to reach the level of understanding I’m currently at. It’s taken lots of embarrassing moments, groping for unknown words, and tripping over cultural stumbling blocks to get here. A lot of work, yes, but well worth it, I assure you.
The actual spoken language has not been very troublesome for me, a credit to the excellent teachers at SWHS; this has made things much easier. My host brother here went to Belgium for 6 months last year. He didn’t speak a lick of Dutch, and only a few sentences in English! He was forced to use hand signals, draw pictures, or even act out every single word. Lucky for me, I’ve been spared from that.
One thing that’s been especially hard for me is to figure out the "rules of living." That is, knowing when I can leave the house without telling anyone, what to do when someone shows up at the door asking for money, when I’m supposed to cook dinner if nobody comes home on time, and things like how to treat my 6-year-old host sister if she asks me for something. It gets really complicated now because in this culture, "direct" communication is not so popular. It can create awkward situations if I just flat out ask my host mother, "do you want me to cook dinner tomorrow or not?" This apparent lack of communication really gets to me sometimes.
It’s also gotten hard when my host family doesn’t tell me about things they have planned. Sometimes they wait to the last minute to tell me that they’ve set up a big trip to the beach when I’d been wanting to go to a friend’s house all week long. Others, they take off while I’m in the other room and leave me home with the 6-year-old, unable to protest my new position as the babysitter. But really, I know that I shouldn’t get angry over these things.
Because I’m in a different culture, I’m the one who has to struggle, to change, to figure things out. I can’t wait for someone else to explain it to me, for I have the job of changing my perceptions and values to suit the environment that I’m now in. That is what I’ve worked towards, and what I will hopefully arrive at soon. I’m certain I’ll get there, but there’s still away to go.
It’s not easy to change one’s self to match a new culture. Humans resist change by nature. Transformation of our lives is very stressful, even more so when it involves re-shaping our worldview, or, understanding of how the world works or should work. This is a core value for shaping our lives. If we change it, a domino effect begins.
The alterations start out small, with language, clothing, food, etc. Then we come to larger ones, like social customs, religions, and laws. As they grow, it becomes obvious that we’ll have to change ourselves to synchronize with the new culture. A good example is our daily schedule, and how we respect the devices that seemingly control our lives today: Clocks.
In Argentina, there is an entirely different meaning to the word "time." If you say, "I’ll be over in a bit," it could mean you’ll arrive in 2 minutes or three hours. (The latter is much more likely). Sometimes, it’s even considered rude to get to a party at the hour you were told to come, because things won’t be ready yet. For example, last Saturday I went to a birthday party. I was told to come at 10:00, so I got there at 10:30, thinking everything would be cool, maybe get there fashionably late. However, when I arrived, the only people in the house were the mom and dad! I had to wait another hour for other guests to come, then another half-hour for the host to get there!
People are always late. As I said earlier, you are practically expected to arrive 15-45 minutes later than you said you would, depending on the activity. Things like busses and doctors appointments are usually more prompt. I consider this to be another Argentine cultural trait: their concept of time.
To deal with this, I’ve had to change my personal value of promptness. I’ve always liked to show up on time, or earlier than necessary, to get things prepared or to start early, so when I first got here, you can imagine how confused I was at first. It annoyed me at first, until I recognized it as another cultural difference. I had to learn to change myself so that I could live normally in this new setting.
Learning how to adapt to new situations may not be easy, but I’m sticking with it to the end, 5 more months, and will do my best to understand the distinctions between my culture and Argentina’s. Once I get to that point of total acceptance of new values, I’ll be able to improve my understanding of cultures, people, and of the world.