No kissing in the turbolifts

by Jinny W
October 2000

Summary: Kathryn decides they need to set some different parameters to fit their new relationship.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns it all, and would never let them have an iota of this much fun.

Kathryn ran the brush one last time through her hair, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn't remember when she had last started the day feeling this good. She smiled again, thinking that her good mood might just have something to do with where she was - in the quarters of a certain first officer. Who at the moment lay sleeping peacefully just meters away.

She put the brush down and padded in her bare feet over to the bed. As she sat down gingerly on the edge, Chakotay shifted slightly in his sleep and murmured, but didn't wake. She watched his bare chest rise and fall, grinning involuntarily at the recollection of how many nights she had imagined seeing him like this. It had taken them a long time, but once the first step was taken past friendship, it all seemed so easy after that.

Kathryn reached over unthinkingly to brush her fingers over his tattoo. At her touch, Chakotay's eyelids fluttered and opened. He smiled up at her sleepily.

"Hey you".

She smiled. "Hey."

Kathryn bent her head down and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you on your day off."

"That's ok. I still like being woken by you."

She kissed him again for good measure.


"Yes please."

Kathryn stood and strode to the replicator, returning with a steaming mug. Chakotay shrugged off the crumpled sheet and yawned, then reached for the coffee.


He took a deep drink from the cup.

"You have a way with coffee you know."

"I know."

"Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I still have a few minutes."

Kathryn perched on the bed again, sliding back to sit more comfortably beside him.

"Now that you're awake, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What's that?"

"I thought maybe we should talk about setting some" - she hesitated - "I was going to say parameters."

Chakotay grimaced. "I hate that word."

"So do I." She thought for a moment. "Some guidelines for our relationship."

He chuckled.

"It's not that I want to be obsessive about this, Chakotay, and regulate everything we do. I just think that it would be appropriate for us to think about, well what's appropriate, given both our positions on the ship."

Chakotay nodded. "I agree. Actually, I'm way ahead of you."

"You are?" Kathryn raised an eyebrow.

"Uh-huh. In fact, I figured you'd say something like that, so I've made up my own list of rules. They're based around the idea that you would want us to keep our relationship discreet."

Chakotay reached over to his beside table, plonked down what was left of his coffee, and picked up a padd.

"Alright, let's hear them," she said.

"Alright. Rule number one. No kissing in the turbolifts."

"That's pretty obvious," she agreed.

"I thought so."

"Remember the time we caught those two crewmen kissing when the doors opened, and they were so embarrassed they tried to explain what they were doing?"

"I remember. I also remember a discussion we had afterwards about the crew pairing off. You seemed to think that wouldn't include you."

Kathryn grinned. "Well, that was a long time ago."

He smiled back at her. "Yes, it was."

"Well, attractive as you are, I think I can manage to restrain myself in the lifts. Next?"

"Number two. No sex in the turbolifts."

Kathryn chortled. "What?"

"Based on the same principle. We wouldn't want the doors to open and some hapless crewman to be standing there."


"Number -"

Kathryn cut him off. "What if the lift is stuck somewhere?"


"If there's an accident and the lift gets stuck between floors for while."

Chakotay frowned. "That doesn't happen very often, does it?"

"I don't know actually". She thought for a moment. "How about if the doors get jammed shut and the crew can't open them for a while?"

"Well - " he hesitated then went on " - I suppose that depends on how long we'd be trapped in there for."

"It could be half an hour. Or more than an hour. Who knows how long we could be stuck there, caught in an enclosed space together."

"Maybe we should leave that one flexible?" he suggested.

"Alright. Next?"

"No sex in the jeffries tubes," he said.

"All of them?"

"Yes, all of them."

"What if -"

"Kathryn," he admonished, "you can't get stuck in a jeffries tube."

"You could if the hatch malfunctioned."

"It doesn't sound very likely."

"Maybe not likely. Not altogether impossible, though."

"But sounds from the junctions echo. People would be able to hear us," he objected.

"I could be quiet," she said.

Chakotay raised his eyebrows.

"I could!"

"Alright," he shook his head, "if you say so."

"Next. No sneaking off into the delta flyer or any of the shuttlecrafts for sex."

Kathryn laughed. "Chakotay, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were obsessed with having sex in all the different enclosed spaces on the ship".

He raised his eyebrows again. "You know better?"

Kathryn blushed. "You didn't mention the holodeck."

"That was going to come later."


She thought for a few seconds.

"What if we were to take the shuttle away from the ship for a short flight first," she suggested.

"Where to?"

"Anywhere. Just say that we both felt like going for a joyride."

"You don't think that would be a little suspicious?"

Kathryn shook her head. "We're the commanding officers. We could make something up."

"Okay. Number five. No holding hands on the bridge."

Kathryn laughed again. "Oh Chakotay, I don't think that would ever happen."

"Okay. Next. No making out in the ready room".

Kathryn's face fell a little at that.

"I like making out in my ready room."

"So do I."

"We can always lock the doors there," she suggested hopefully.

"People could always reach us by our communicators if they really wanted to", he agreed.

"Of course."

"Alright." Chakotay pressed a button to erase rule number six.

"Seven. No sexual banter in the mess hall."

"I don't make sexual banter", she objected.

Chakotay rolled his eyes. "Oh yes you do, Kathryn. Especially in the mornings."

"Like what?" she demanded.

"Like the other morning, when Neelix brought a plate of Arcadian eggs over to us, and you said - "

"Point taken. I'll watch my mouth. When Neelix is around", she amended. "What else?"

"That was about it, actually. I thought they were the most important ones."

"You weren't being very imaginative there, Chakotay." She smiled suggestively. "I could think of a lot more things we could - I mean couldn't - do."

"I'm sure you could."

"Like -" she leaned over to kiss him. "No using pet names during staff briefings."

"Okay. "

"And - " she kissed him again on the jawbone " - no sending illicit messages to each other while listening to the doctor's latest sickbay report."


"And then there's (another kiss on the neck) no (she kissed his collarbone) absolutely no (another kiss) making each other late for our bridge shifts."

"That's a good one."

"I thought so", she said, as Chakotay pulled her down onto the bed.



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