July 4th 2003,Ernie departs. With a surprising lack of media attention, Ernie slips quietly out of the country. Media rumours that US security agencies were too busy celebrating July 4th to notice are unfounded according to FBI spokesman Paul Bresson . Chinese Government discreetly raises National Security Level from Blue (guarded) to Yellow (Elevated)pending Ernies arrival. When asked about the "Ernie situation" at the White House Daily Press briefing, Ari Fleischer issues a terse " No Comment" statement. Several coffee houses in Cedar Rapids report a dramatic drop in sales.

July 6th 2003, First communication received from Ernie..
"I'm here, all is cool. Gotta run to job interview "
Mild euphoria in some Mid West States, the mood in China is somewhat more reserved according to Reuters, "atmosphere is somewhat calm at the moment but it's early days" says a source who refused to be identified.

July 13th through 15th 2003.
A whole spate of e-mails indicate that things are going well. Ernie decides that paying 6 bucks for a cup of tea is a tad too much, and heads to a traditional Chinese Restaurant called 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' for a 48 cent cuppa. English author of this site writes to Tony Blair to demand a break in diplomatic relations due to high price of tea.

July 19th 2003. Our man in China sends new dispatches, which have to be read several times. After which this website submits several copies to the Nobel Foundation and the Pulitzer offices for consideration. Such comments as ...

By way of exporting our assembly jobs to China and elsewhere, importing less-paid workers in computer science and technology thereby un-employing American workers, are we doing just what that old small-town philosopher feared ?

What about those like me, outmoded in our own country but welcomed in what is becoming a serious adversary in the world marketplace ? Are teachers of vital knowledge, the English language, purveyors of what may ultimately be turned against us ?...

Beautiful Ernie, just beautiful. Nobel fame is but a few months away. CNN and MSNBC are the front runners for Ernies story.BBC World Service intrested too. Jackie Chan considering making a movie about Ernies life.