By
Terry (O’Brien) E. N.
Is it time to make a big decision? Are you thinking divorce, a job change, lost a loved one, oh gotten into trouble at home with a friend, the law, or just plain lost in life?
Maybe it’s time you took a little trip, as I did, to find yourself. Should you be ‘Going To The Mountain’?
I want you to know that I am A.D.D., and Coodependant also. In other words my attention span was short, and I give all I can give to make it happen for those around me. I was last on my list of importance.
A little while ago in my life nothing seemed to fit and wasn’t going right. Everything I did seemed to drive those I love further away, and made my work performance less than acceptable. Inside it bothered me tremendously, but I hid it well. I even became defensive, really defensive and barked a lot. I lost my job and I had been a big, successful person surrounded with nice things, with lots of status. I was number one.
At one point in my life I had reached the bottom. No place to go, nothing in my pockets, and no one around me. I was alone…all alone. I was at my desk and turned to get something, there was a mirror real close and I caught a glimpse of my self and I asked my self, “What are you doing Stupid?” I sat there a moment and then I took a pen and paper and just started to write.
I wrote about all kinds of things. Goals, feelings I had for those around me, what had happened at work, the things that made me happy and the things that made me cry. I laughed with it and I cried, a lot, with it.
I just wrote little sentences, big sentences, little paragraphs and big paragraphs; I just wrote as fast as I could. I didn’t try to find complete answers just quick references. I drained my thoughts.
I came to a point that I just couldn’t write any more. I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes and believe it or not fell asleep. When I woke up I felt lousy from sleeping in that chair; my back and neck hurt. I was ticked at myself that I had done that.
I leaned over the desk and tried to do a little push up to stretch my muscles it hurt yet and my eyes fell on the paper I had been writing on through most of the night. I laughed at a couple of the words; not happy like but mad about them. I grabbed the papers crumbled them up in to a little ball and threw them at an open closet door, then chuckled and went on with needed things to be done.
Two weeks later my boss asked me to go to Colorado bow hunting for elk. I was so excited I could hardly work. I went home that night and started to gather things for the trip, my bow, hunting clothes, my backpack from the closet by my desk and started filling it with socks and things, stuffed it real good.
Two days later we drove 28 hours to get to the mountains in northern Colorado, and set up camp on the side of the mountain over looking the back water to a dam and the most beautiful sights. The next day we got up early and headed out to scout where we would be hunting. In two days elk season was to open and we wanted to be ready.
On opening day we got up early, ate, and headed into the woods and mountainside. It was breadth taking and so quiet. I walked and listened for hours nothing, but I was so excited with it all. The same happened for two more days. The fourth day we decided to spend the whole day walking up the mountain hoping to change our luck. So I grabbed my backpack to take a couple of sandwiches and pop to maintain my day. I dumped the things in it out and out rolled a crumpled up ball of papers…that list I had made. I tossed it back in the backpack and put my sandwiches in it too for the day and off I went up the mountain.
Around noon I was walking across the side of the mountain and came on a little stream coming down the mountain and decided to follow it up. I climbed and climbed. Just over a steep part of the mountain it leveled a little and there was a little pool there, and a little waterfall of about 12 feet high and 3 feet wide, and many signs of elk.
I decided to climb a little higher to be able to shoot down and found a big tree to sit against. I took off my backpack and sat down to watch. In just a little while I got hungry, so I reached for the backpack to have a sandwich. I reached in grabbed my sandwich and pulled it out, and out with it came that ball of crumbled papers. It laid there right along side me. I took the sandwich in one hand and the ball of paper in another.
(The steam I read by.)
The papers just drew them to me. I took a bite of the sandwich and started to read what I had written. I smiled with it, and I cried with it, sobbing, and really read about me, and the things that would make me whole; a man and someone productive.
That day on the mountain I began to know what I had to do because I read those papers as if were my best friend. I knew what I needed to do.
The mountain doesn’t have to be the place you should go, it just was there for me that day. You can make your own mountain. Now, when I have decisions to make I start by’ Going To The Mountain’ and writing. When I have finished writing I tuck the papers away for a couple of days. I don’t go back to it; I don’t change it; nor add to it. I wait a couple days before ‘Going To The Mountain’ again to read my thoughts to me as if I was my best friend and I know what to do.
I often wish I had done this when I was younger and really didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. I would have enjoyed ‘Going To The Mountain’ and would have been my best friend a long time ago.
Now, I like ‘Going To The Mountain’. It has become so easy to know me, and what to do for myself, and those I love so much.
Thank you for visiting my page.
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