Homer Simpson Quotes - I saw these and put them on my web site because David loves Homer Simpson.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman -- and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Oh look at me !!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way ... I was being sarcastic.

Stealing! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whats-his-name?

What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or your bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at me?

You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something.

Sweet Merciful Crap!

Television - teacher, mother, secret lover!

All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body.

My Bologna has a first name. It's H-O-M-E-R, my bologna has a second name. It's H-O-M-E-R.

sure, IN theeoory, in theory communism works ...

When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer
I drank some very good beer I purchased
With a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was seventeen.

Homer : I can't fake an interest in this, and I'm an expert at faking an interest in your kooky projects.
Marge : What kooky projects?
Homer : You know, the painting class, the first aid course, the whole Lamaze thing.

Rev. Lovejoy : So Homer, please feel free to tell us anything. There's no judgment here.
Homer : The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
Rev. Lovejoy : I cast thee out!

Marge : Homer there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer : Batman?
Marge : No he's a scientist.
Homer : Batman's a scientist.
Marge : He's not Batman!

Marge : Have you noticed something about Bart?
Homer : New glasses?
Marge : No. It seems like something could be troubling him.
Homer : Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge : I want to get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer : Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge : That's not what I meant.
Homer : Admit it Marge, it was.