1. I know how to please a woman.
**Then please leave me alone.

2. I want to give myself to you.
**Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

3. Your hair color is fabulous.
**Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

4. You look like a dream.
**Go back to sleep.

5. I can tell that you want me.
**Yes, I want you to leave.

6. Hey, baby, what's your sign?
**Do not enter...or stop.

7. I'd go through anthing for you.
**Let's start with your bank account.

8. May I have the last dance?
**You've just had it.

9. Your place or mine?
**Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.

10. Your body is like a temple.
**Sorry, there are no services today.

11. Is this seat empty?
**Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

12. What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
**What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?

13. Haven't I seen you someplace before?
**Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.


Q: when do you care for a man`s company?
A: When he owns it

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed Married women come home, see what`s in bed and go to the fridge.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.

Q: Why do only l0% of men make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Q: How do women define a "50/50" relationship?
A: We cook - they eat; we clean - they dirty ; we iron - they wrinkle.

Q: How do men exercise on the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. (haha)

Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do so much better.

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he`s God`s gift to women?
A: Exchange him.

Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.

Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Because you`re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.