nice, france
by Angus Lefty

I woke up with a headache and I was shaking. I don't remember the flight, but I remember after landing, a bunch of airport security guys wrestled me to the ground. So I poured out about 4 fingers of scotch into a glass and drowned my shakes into a sea of brown liquid bliss.

That's when a noticed the complimentary newspaper in front of the door to my suite. I can't read French so I poured another glass of happiness and stared at the pictures. Suddenly I realized it said this "uberkarnies banned from AirFrance for Drunken, Beligerent bahavior!". I then perused the personals for awhile.

On the tour bus to Nice, we played asshole, flipcup, circle of death and other fine drinking games. At some point, I remember being spanked. I woke up on the second day in my bunk. We were parked in front of our hotel but none of us made it in to our suites. After a breakfast of bourbon, bacon, and sausage, we departed for the Ray Stadium.

we like drinking games


we pass out from drinking every now and then

We toasted our arrival, and toasted our roadies, and the soundman, and the sound check. I let security know that if I hurl on anyone, that's who gets backstage. We have a secret code for choosing groupies, but I guess it's not secret anymore. Well, in the middle of J is for Juniper I saw her, she was huge, I didn't have any bile built up so I spat on her.

Backstage we awaited our groupies, instead some giant biker asshole came in and tried to start shit saying I disrespected him (in french), so I punched the bastard. I knocked him out and smashed my highball on his bloody forehead. Then we drew penises on him with sharpies.

this is nice, it's nice

The band tried to kick me out for letting that guy backstage. So I kicked Nathan out for grabbing an old age pensioner's ass. Well, we all got kicked out of the band. But we got back together. Look at our swanky tour bus!