"How long d'you suppose he'll be out?"

"I dunno! What're you asking me for?"

"Because you have the most experience at being unconscious of all of us, Sirius."

"No, he doesn't- he has the most experience knocking other people out, not himself. No, really Peter has spent the most time unconscious."

--Whimper--

These were the sounds filtering through James Potter's still ringing ears as he lay still on a bed in the Hogwarts hospital wing, his eyes shut tight. Much to the contrary of his lucid companions' opinions, he was no longer unconscious, though he had been for almost twenty minutes after falling nearly fifty feet from his broomstick.

"Shh, Peter!" Lily hushed him, "He's going to be fi-"

Suddenly, James groaned.

"James!"

"Jimmy boy! Rise and shine!"

"We've won James! Terry got the snitch after you fell! We've won the cup!"

"I gave Bulstrode a hell of a bloody nose after he hit you!" This last one was Sirius, and James groggily opened his eyes to see Lily hitting him. He laughed weakly. "Leave him be, Lil. He was just defending my honor…"

"I was not! I enjoyed giving him that bloody nose!" This was Sirius' indignant response and Lily hit him again. At that moment, the door to the hospital wing burst open and James and Sirius' teammates clambered into the room; they were all celebrating, carrying Terry on their shoulders. Terry was cradling the glistening Quidditch Cup in his arms and he hopped off Abdul's shoulders and brought it over to James, lying it on the bed next to him.

"There you go, captain! What a way to go out, 'eh?"

"What a way to go, Terry." James agreed smiling at the younger boy and his other teammates. "I wish I could've seen Snape's face when you caught the snitch!" And they were all off, telling about the Slytherins' defeat.

~

Later that night, when the team and James' friends returned to the Gryffindor common room and left him alone in the silent hospital wing, James lay awake thinking about the match, and the injuries to his back, which, though already healed by magic, still required supervision according to the slightly paranoid Madame Pomfrey.

James had zoned out after that, and didn't care to remember the moments any more. He turned his thoughts instead to Lily and his friends, but after a few seconds of dwelling on Sirius, he decided that perhaps he should stick to Lily. She'd make a fabulous Juliet in the play tomorrow…The play! Madame Pomfrey's words drifted back to him…"two days at the least". He wouldn't be able to be in the play-- who, then, would play Romeo?

Sirius perhaps? No, he was far to good a Mercutio to be moved this late. Maybe Remus…but he really did such a wonderful father Capulet. The only person James could think of that wasn't perfectly matched for their role was Peter, but then, he wasn't perfectly matched for any role; and even on her most insane day, Professor McGonagall would never do anything that crazy. Who could his replacement be?

~

At the same moments that James was drifting into a fitful sleep because of his predicament, Minerva McGonagall was climbing the stairs from the Slytherin dungeon common room, heading up to the Gryffindor tower one. She rarely entered either, but after today's Quidditch match arrangements had to be made about the coming play-- and she had a feeling Juliet might be in need of damage control after she learned of her professor's decision. She gave the Fat Lady the password and climbed through the portrait hole, scattering a group of giggly first year girls who appeared to be sighing over James' Quidditch picture in last year's annual. She spotted Lily Evans seated on a big couch by the fire surrounded by the rest of the Quidditch team and Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. The whole group was laughing and enjoying bottles of butterbeer, which they quickly hid when she approached. Ignoring this, McGonagall tapped Lily on the shoulder and asked if she'd come talk to her in the corner for a moment. She agreed and stood up, following her to a secluded part of the common room, where no one was seated just then.

"Lily, you know that James has to be in the hospital wing for three days, right?"

"Yes, under Madame Pomfrey's orders, I know." She vigorously bobbed her long red tresses.

"Well, obviously he can't be Romeo tomorrow in the opening night of the play, and it's been left in my hands to find a replacement."

Lily gave a small gasp, "I'd forgotten entirely about the play!" She said, covering her mouth with her hand. "Well, who've you found, Professor?"

McGonagall mumbled something under her breath.

"Sorry?" Lily said straining to hear over the noise in the common room.

"I said…"

~

Remus looked over at where Lily was seated across from McGonagall.

"D'you think she's in trouble?" Terry asked, coming up behind him.

"Lily? Doubt it-- it's probably something to do with being head girl, or something."

Suddenly both boys jumped up at a shrill shriek from across the room.
"SEVERUS SNAPE?" Lily had jumped up from her position across from McGonagall and was visibly shaking. Remus instantly recognized it as repressed rage, and he knew that for Lily to react that way to a teacher whatever McGonagall had said had to be very bad. He hurried over with Sirius close on his heels.

They reached them quickly and Lily had managed to control herself somewhat. She was speaking in a very strained voice, but it was quiet enough so that everyone seemed to have gone back to what they were doing.

"…cannot act across from Severus Snape. I can't Professor! I mean… it's Romeo and Juliet…not The Bride Of Frankenstein! Sorry- that was mean, but still…" Remus realized all to quickly what must have happened. Prongs was out of commission for at least two days- on Madame Pomfrey's insistence, but tomorrow was opening night of the play- they needed a replacement Romeo, and apparently Snape was it. Sirius, meanwhile, had gone through a range of emotions: shock, disgust, bewilderment, and delight all manifested themselves on his face respectively.

"Miss Evans, I know this is difficult, but please- for the sake of the play…I've already spoken to Severus about it and he's agreed. If you refuse to act with him, then I suppose you refuse to act at all." McGonagall had apparently recovered from the obvious affront of being shrieked at by a student and was back on track. She left the common room as Remus helped Lily to a nearby chair. She was fuming. "Snape… that bloody prick! The only reason he agreed is because it's another opportunity to further his war with James- he doesn't care about Shakespeare!"

"No, but he might be willing to put up with it if he gets to kiss you." Sirius pointed out, with a grin.

Lily's emerald eyes opened very wide. "K-kiss?"

"You remember Lil, you and James used to be quite good at it- lips together…" Remus hit him as Lily buried her head in her arms.

"I will not kiss that slimy snake!" She groaned.

"Shhhh, Lil. It'll be okay." Remus attempted to comfort her by patting her awkwardly on the back.

"Yeah, Lily. You don't really think we'd let you play Juliet to Snape's Romeo, do you?" Sirius said, grinning at her. "You won't have to kiss him."

"I'm not quitting the play! I've worked too hard for too long to throw it away over Snape." She insisted.

"Who said anything about you quitting?" Sirius asked, a malevolent gleam in his eye. "Oh no, once we get through with him, Snape'll beg McGonagall to let him out…"

~

An hour later found Remus, Sirius, and Peter seated by their fellow Marauder's bed in the hospital wing.

"James! Wake up! We've got major problem solving to be done- you can't just sleep through it!" Sirius hissed, shaking his friend awake.

"W-what?" James yawned as he opened his eyes. "What time is it? What are you guys doing here?"

"12:53." Remus answered the first question, glancing at the clock.

"Trying to save your girlfriend from a fate way worse than death." Sirius answered the second.

"Huh?" James asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

"Well, James, you may or may not have remembered that the play in which you are supposed to star as Romeo takes place tomorrow night." Sirius began in a business-like tone.

"And that since you have been declared bed-ridden for at least tow days, by our esteemed nurse, someone will have to take your place opposite the lovely Lily." Remus continued.

"Yeah, I had remembered actually. So which one of you guys is going to do it?" James looked expectantly from one boy to the other, as Peter stared conspicuously at his shoes.

"Er-, well, when I said "a fate worse than death, I didn't mean she'd have to kiss Moony." Sirius began to explain.

"Thanks." Remus said wryly.

"No problem." Sirius replied, ignoring the sarcasm, "Actually, McGonagall has already appointed your replacement-- none other than…Severus Snape."

James fell back onto his pillow with a thud.

"Do you think he's fainted?" Sirius asked.

"Well, with news like that, I wouldn't be surprised." Remus answered.

"Do you think he's dead?" Peter squeaked.

"I'm not dead and I haven't fainted- it's just much easier to have a nightmare when you're lying down and your eyes are closed." A voice came from the bed.

"No time for dreaming, Jimmy boy." Sirius said, pulling him back up. "We've got to plan how to save Lily in less than twenty-four hours. Now let's see…"