Fa A Bhialainn Ann - Chapter 13

By Veralidaine

* * *

--Trust, by Sarah McLachlan (yet another genius…), from the album, ‘Fumbling Towards Ecstasy’

The smell of smoke choked the group of teenagers standing next to the smoldering house, and Fiona, body rigid with a horrible mixture of shock, grief, and fear, choked on a sob as the world sort of spun and tipped like some twisted carnival ride gone wrong. "MA!" Fi hurled herself towards the house, but someone grabbed her, twisting her arms behind her and restraining her. "No! Lemme go! MA!" she shrieked, pulling against the strong grip.

"Fi, stop!"

Fiona recognized Remus’ yell from behind her, but didn’t cease her anguished cries and pulling, and finally, with one particularly hard yank, Remus lost his grip and, surprised at the sudden lack of restraint, she fell to the ground. Ignoring the pain in her knees and hands, the girl stumbled to her feet and jogged towards the house, emotion twisting her lungs, making her incapable of breathing. She stopped dead near what had been the doorway—the one the seven of them had walked through not three hours ago, leaving a smiling and waving Moreen behind. It was charred black, and the rest of the small cottage was violently burning.

The heat seared her face and bare arms, but Fiona didn’t notice. Her throat constricted and she choked, tears running down her face.

Someone grabbed her arms and pulled her back from the house quickly, just as a rather large beam that most likely had been part of the little porch out front fell where she’d been standing. Fi turned overflowing eyes to the group behind her, which was missing two—Sirius and James, judging by the retreating backs she could see in the distance, heading towards the village—and Remus, hand still firmly gripping her wrist, pulled her into a hug. Fi was able to see over his shoulder, and could make out Lily and Sapphira standing in the pitch-blackness and staring, transfixed, at the glowing Dark Mark, which didn’t seem to want to go away, as Peter cowered behind the two of them.

A chill ran up and down Fi’s spine, freezing and horrible, and she gave a small yelp and everything sort of blacked out as she went limp in Remus’ arms.

*

Ever so slowly, a sort of cold feeling crept into Fiona’s fingers, waking her senses from the warmth that unconsciousness had, until then, supplied. Her eyelids seemed glued shut somehow, but that didn’t matter; she didn’t want to open her eyes anyway. For a fraction of a second, she couldn’t remember why, but then reality hit, and if she’d thought she was cold earlier, that had been nothing. Fi curled up, making herself as small as possible, and choked back another sob.

A hand brushed her hair out of her face and, giving a strangled gasp, her eyes snapped open.

"Awfortheloveof—" She blinked a few times, breathing quickly. "Remus, you near scared me to death! I…I…" Fi trailed off, biting her lip to keep from breaking down completely. There was a long pause.

"It was…a bad dream, right?" Her eyes widened as he avoided her gaze. "It had to’ve been…Remus? Tell me it’s all okay? Please?" No response. "Oh, no…Oh no oh no oh no…"

"Shh, calm down," he said quickly, grabbing her shoulders gently. "Please calm down…’Phira said you’d mentioned your father and brother being on a fishing trip, so we sent some people of the village to go look for them and tell them what’s happened—no, no, calm down…" He looked extremely nervous as Fi threatened to lose it again. "Calm down. Now. The…fire department…Got there, and they stopped the fire, and the ministry officials performed memory charms and such." He sighed. "At any rate, they managed to stop the fire before it completely destroyed the property…"

"DAMMIT!" she cried suddenly, sitting up quickly and sending a startled Remus scooting backward from where he’d been sitting on the bed next to her. "I don’t CARE about the bloody property! I care about my MA!" she yelled, banging her fists on the thick blankets for emphasis.

"What did’you think I’d say to that, ‘Oh, alright, then, so long as my flower bed’s okay’? Bullocks to that! Where’s my Ma?"

Remus raised his eyebrows and looked as if he were debating what he should say to answer that. "Well…" He sighed, glancing at the closed door, and for the first time, Fi noticed that she was in a room, probably at the local inn. But she’d ask about that later.

"Tell me, Remus, or by the howneyman, I’ll shove your wand so far up your—"

"Alright!" he interrupted, obviously not wanting to know where that was going. "Alright…"

He stood up, massaging his temples like he always did when he was anxious or worried, and brushed his hair back out of his face. "I’m not s’posed to talk to you about this yet, and if you tell anyone I have, they’ll probably have my hide. I think Lily was particularly concerned that I not give you the impression that…Well, you see, they didn’t want you to think that there was a chance that…Because it’s so unlikely that…And—"

"Just spit it out," Fi said quietly. "Is she dead, or is she not? Simple question."

Remus looked at her, obviously resigning himself to having to answer directly. "We don’t know, to be completely truthful."

Pause. "You dunno."

"…No."

"What d’you mean, you dunno?" Fi swallowed down another choking sob. "When you found her was she breathing?" The last part of that question had come out as a hoarse shout, and Remus jerked his head towards the door, indicating that Lily was most likely nearby and listening. Fi shut up.

"Well," Remus continued after a moment’s silence, "that’s just it."

"What? What’s just it?"

"We didn’t find a body."

Fi’s jaw dropped, but Remus held up a hand. "That’s why I’m not s’posed to tell you that. It’s really…" He sighed and continued gently, "It’s really unlikely that she’s alive, Fi."

"But you didn’t find a body."

"No, but—"

"Then there’s a chance." Fi slumped back down into the pillows and brought her hands up to her eyes. "There’s a chance…" she whispered, breathing raggedly.

She opened her eyes to see that Remus had again taken his position next to the bed. She sat up, sniffing back tears as inconspicuously as she could manage. "I’m sorry I snapped at you…" she stated, merely because she couldn’t think of anything else to say at the moment. "I—"

"Don’t," Remus murmured, resting a hand on her shoulder gently. He looked at her, concern evident in his eyes. "Are you okay, though? Did you get burned?"

She shook her head, but brought her palms up from her lap to examine them. They were raw and cut from her fall, and she could tell that her knees had probably been skinned quite thoroughly. However, she shook her head again and gave Remus a watery half-smile, which quickly disintegrated into silent tears. Biting her lip to stifle the sobs racking her chest and throat, she bowed her head quickly, hiding behind a curtain of tangled brown locks. She was pulled into Remus’ arms and, after a moment of holding her breath and shaking, she regained her composure somewhat. "Does anyone know why they attacked my house?" she whispered, pulling away gently.

He wiped a remaining tear away with his thumb and shook his head. "No…They have no idea. It makes no sense at all. Especially since you’re a Slytherin, and all…He attacks randomly, I suppose."

She nodded, swallowing hard—her throat seemed very dry and sore. She glanced around her at the inn room with reddened eyes and sniffed. "Where are we?"

"O’Donnagáin’s Inn, in the village. We got two rooms here for free, seeing as how…" He stopped at the look on her face. "Anyway," he continued after a moment, "everyone’s in the other room for now. They didn’t want to wake you."

Fi slid her legs out from under the blankets and over the side of the bed, noticing that her jeans’ knees were torn and bloodied. Remus

looked concerned, but she shook him off and stood up, sighing and running a hand through her hair as far as it could go without hitting a snarl. She headed towards the door and opened it, feeling as though she were in a very odd and unpleasant dream. She woke up, though, as someone came down the hallway, still wearing her tight little miniskirt and too much makeup.

"Oh, McLellan," she said, eyeing Fi’s hair and clothes with distaste. "Nice hair, darlin’." She twirled a lock of her own heavily-sprayed coal black hair and glanced at her innocently. "There’s quite a bit o’ chatterin’ goin’ on down in the main entrance…Summat about a fire?" She looked expectant, and when Fi merely stared at her expressionlessly, pushed onward as if the girl was merely being stupid on purpose.

"Soooo, I was wond’ring if yeh’d heard what the problem was? And what’re yeh doing ‘ere, a’ this time a’night?" She looked past her and saw Remus, who stood up from the bed and came to stand next to her. "Well…Isn’t this interesting…"

Fi felt a Brenna-comment coming on, and merely stared at her, not having the energy or leftover emotion to glare. Brenna smirked and glanced past her at Remus. "So, how much’d she pay yeh?"

Remus’ jaw dropped, and Fi merely raised an eyebrow as she was pushed behind him protectively. Even with all her worries and issues right now, she had enough normal attitude in her to think, this ought t’be interesting… "I’ll have you know," Remus said in a rather lower, more growling voice than Fi had ever heard before, "that that fire? It burned down the McLellan house." He braced his hands on either side of the doorframe, leaning against it. "And you," he said, lowering the volume of his voice even more, "are an ignorant tart, and I’ll not let you speak to her or about her like that. Peloenhadis."

There was a shriek, and Fi saw a rather large bundle of black curls fall to the floor just outside the door before hearing Brenna’s quickly retreating footsteps and yells.

Remus turned back to Fi, looking embarrassed. "I dunno what made me do it…"

"You didn’t even use a wand," Fi said, blankly. "What’d yeh do t’er, anyway?"

Remus shrugged, still embarrassed. "A…Rather large chunk of her hair sort of…disconnected itself from her scalp. I know, I know," he added quickly, "it was a horrible thing to do, and I’ll refrain from doing it again, but—"

"Whisht," she murmured giving him a tiny smile. "You’re wonderful. Now, I think we ought to go assure t’others that I’m alive and well." She turned to find him blushing, and rolled here eyes, looking as annoyed as an emotionally-drained seventeen-year-old girl can look at one in the morning. "C’mon, blush later."

*

"She didn’t!"

"She did." Fi glanced at the horrified looks on her friends’ faces. When she’d come into the room, her friends had been stony-faced, and all had flocked around her, concerned for her well-being, but she’d shrugged them off, assuring them that she was okay for the time being, and told them about Brenna. And now Lily was quite furious at the now-hairless girl’s little comment. But then, she’d not let Fi get to the bit about hair yet.

Lily looked supremely angry, and stood up, heading towards the door. "That little—"

"No, no." Fi waved her hand. "Remus already avenged me."

"Did he?" Sirius grinned broadly at Remus, a rather nasty glint in his eyes. "What exactly did you do, then, Moony ol’ pal?"

James elbowed Sirius and he shut up; meanwhile Remus fidgeted, looking embarrassed. Fi smiled lightly, hugging her bathrobe tighter around her. "He used a useful little charm and…she’s missing a rather large amount of hair."

There was a loud shout of a giggle/cheer from the nearest chair, and when everyone turned their heads, Sapphira clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, I mean, how horrid. How simply dreadful. Remus, how could you do such a thing?"

This was entirely unconvincing, as she was grinning and had suppressed laughter in her eyes as she scolded poor Remus, who was now quite red, and being elbowed rather conspicuously by Sirius. He glanced at Remus. "Yes, how could you do such a thing?"

"Actually, I thought it might do you some good, Sirius," Remus stated calmly, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. "You seemed a tad too fond of her this evening. And she’s not even a Veela. Something had to be done."

Fi glanced at Sapphira, and was wordlessly informed that Remus was on the American’s good list for the evening.

"I wasn’t fond of her," Sirius said defiantly. "I don’t even fancy her."

"Well, no, of course you don’t, she’s got a bald spot now. It was a different story when you were dancing topless on the bar, wasn’t it?"

"For your information," Sirius noted sniffily, "she tricked me. I didn’t know it was special tea." Remus raised an eyebrow. "No, really! I was enjoying a perfectly good dance with ‘Phira, and she came and dragged me off and gave me a glass of iced tea." He paused, glancing at his unconvinced audience. "Well, it was good tea…What?"

Lily snorted. "You’re a hopeless case, Sirius, and I worry for the woman who ends up marrying you."

Sirius stuck his tongue out, looking all the more mature. "Yes, yes, you’re all terribly witty. I’m off to bed, then." He gave Fi one last little 'you’re okay, right?' glance before waving vaguely at them all and heading for the next room and the sleeping bags they’d been provided.

"Yeah, he’s got a point," James muttered, sliding his arm from Lily’s shoulders. "It’s nearly three-thirty, and I dunno what they’re going to want us to do tomorrow…"

"And you," Lily said, pointing accusingly at Fi, "desperately need sleep."

"Yes," Remus yawned. "Well, I think I’ll go find my sleeping bag, then. G’night, all."

He paused for a moment, then gave Fi a quick peck on the cheek before heading unusually quickly out of the room. Lily, who had followed James into the next room a moment earlier, was promptly booted out as soon as Remus entered and, looking somewhat surly and the graceless hint, the redhead joined the other two girls in their room. "Well…"

Fi smiled slightly. At least her mind had been taken off it for a few moments…That was something…She looked up as Sapphira heaved a great sigh. "What’s wrong?"

"’S not fair…" she mumbled, chin resting on her hands, elbows on her lap.

"What’s not?" Lily said, running a comb through her hair and yawning.

"Sirius is a twit."

"Well, we all knew that."

"Yes, but even Remus kissed Fi goodnight." Sapphira sighed again.

"Did he really?" Lily cocked an eyebrow at Fi, who rolled her eyes, but smiled a bit.

"Yes," Sapphira sighed. "And Sirius is a twit."

"Look, sweetie," Lily said, tossing her hair behind her shoulders and sighing, "it took James the better part of two years to figure out exactly why I came to every single one of his Quidditch matches, or offered to tutor him in Charms, or tended to bat my eyelashes when he came within twenty feet of me. Boys are stupid. You have to practically scream it in their face before they comprehend."

"Well, that…" Sapphira cast about for a proper description. "That sucks."

"Yes, it does," Lily said. "It drives you absolutely crackers for awhile, and then you get annoyed, and they wonder vaguely what the hell is wrong with you. And then they figure out that you’re mad at them. And then they wonder vaguely why. Like I said, they’re slow."

"They’re all dense," Fi added hoarsely—her throat was still sore. "Mind, I didn’t bat my eyelashes, but—"

"No, but you transformed in front of him without a change of clothes," Lily added evilly.

Fi turned crimson, and Sapphira’s eyes widened. "I’ve…not…heard that story…"

"And you’re not going to now," Fi said loudly, raising her eyebrows at Lily.

Sapphira giggled, but grew silent rather quickly. "Fi, I’m sorry, look at me. You’re comforting me, and it’s you who needs it more."

"I’m okay," Fi said truthfully. She had been horrified, but now she was merely numb. And somewhere inside her, there was hope that maybe…She sighed deeply. "I needed the distraction."

As Fiona climbed into the large bed, feeling guilty that Sapphira and Lily had insisted on taking sleeping bags, she closed her eyes and attempted to think of other places and times, easier on her mind and heart. She settled on a certain Hogsmeade visit several months ago and, smiling lightly, sighed and allowed her senses to dull and her mind to drift off into sleep.

*

"Do you want her back?"

Fi’s eyelids were glued shut again. She shivered at the odd voice—she’d never heard it before. It was unfamiliar and cold, and oddly whispery and…frightening. It made her curl up more, only she could not feel her warm covers around her anymore for some reason.

"Answer me, Mudblood."

Fiona opened her eyes, but it made no difference. Everything was black, and for some reason, infinitely cold. She was surrounded by cold and dark, and that horrid voice kept cutting through her mind, hurting it almost.

"If you do not answer, I will hurt her."

"Who?" Fi managed weakly; her vocal chords didn’t seem to want to cooperate at the time. Vaguely, she wondered if it was the cold.

"What do you mean, ‘who?’" the voice spat, making Fiona flinch. "Your mother, you ignorant wench!"

"Ma?" The cold worsened. "Is this…Voldemort?"

"Oh, well-done."

"What’ve you done with’er?" Fi demanded, voice still coming out weakly, seemingly muffled by the inky blackness. "Why d’you want her?"

"I don’t want her, you stupid girl," the Dark Lord said simply. "She’s of no use to me. You, however, are."

"Why d’you want me, then?" Fi asked tremulously, hugging herself—the cold was becoming unbearable. She couldn’t feel her fingers anymore. "What good am I to you?"

"Do you want your mother back, you poor little Irish Mudblood?"

"Don’t you dare hurt her, you—"

Voldemort gave a sarcastic chuckle that sent those same horrible cold chills that came along with the Dark Mark down her spine. "Now, now, there’s no need for uncouth language. Answer the question, or I’ll hurt her."

"Yes, I want her back! Just don’t hurt her…"

"I thought you might, somehow," Voldemort said softly, making the hairs on the back of Fi’s neck stand up. "I will release her when you come to me. You see, you’re part of my plans…"

"What part? I want nothing to do with your plans, you murderer! You…You… Arracht! Bodmhadra! Péisteanna! You killed Annelle!"

"Yes, and she screamed quite nicely, I assure you."

Fiona hurled more insults at the horrid excuse for a wizard, much nastier than the last few…He seemed to be laughing, though, if anything.

"Yes, yes, you’re clever. I shall speak to you again."

"Wait! Is…Is Ma still alive?"

"Yes…For now."

"For NOW?"

"Yes. She’ll stay that way if you agree to my bargain."

"Bargain?" Fi squeaked.

"I shall present it to you later. Go, wake up and pretend to be cheery for your friends, Mudblood. If you let on that we’ve talked, you will regret it. And so will your mother."

The blackness swirled, and Fi screamed loudly, angry and frightened tears brimming in her eyes.

"Fi! Fi, stop screaming! Wake up!"

"Fi…"

Fiona sat up quickly, causing Lily and Sapphira to jump back in alarm. Fi held a hand to her cold, sweaty forehead, breathing shakily and eyes quite round. "Oh…My…God…"

"What…What’s wrong?" Sapphira asked worriedly, while Lily merely stared, eyes wide.

Fi glanced at them. If you let on that we’ve talked, you will regret it. And so will your mother. "Nothing," she whispered after a moment.

"Nothing…Just a…Just a nightmare…"

But it wasn’t.