Since HawK is away for now, it took a good long while for my friend Raptor to understand the zoom. After a practice run with Tifa Lockheart...I'm so very sorry that I taught him the zoom.
That audition was immediately rejected because I don't want her around in that..white T-shirt of hers. Pssh...
So we're interviewing Kain, from Blood Omen and Soul Reaver. I know that most may not be sure as to why we asked him exactly, but his insight into things seem rather interesting. Deciding to do things a little differently, we gave out simple questions for him to answer and see if he'd be capable of hosting our Q&A column.
Aiding me now is our laughtrack and camera when ne--wait..that didn't sound right. Damn, everything's all messed up without HawK. Baah.
Setting: Seated on the marble floor of the Sanctuary of the Clans with Raptor peering down beside her, both reading a sheet of paper and apparently waiting for Kain to arrive.
Raptor: Which question are you going to ask 'im?
ST: I was thinking of seeing how many he'd answer accurately, in a sense, and if he'd be willing to go through the letters. I'm aiming to answer everything here.
Raptor: What's this guy look like anyhow? I've never played the game all the way through...
ST: Tall, veiny..eh..clovenhooved--you'll see.
Raptor: And this image will be appealing to kids wanting someone to answer their questions?
ST: I hear he's an excellent cook.
Kain suddenly enters the room as both ST and Raptor rise and straighten their backs to greet him. He struts in--tall, veiny, and clovenhooved. After giving them a nod he climbs the stairs to his monstrous throne and seats himself, extending a hand out to them both and indicating them to take a seat.
ST: *promptly seats herself back on the floor*
Raptor: *leans down and talks beside her ear* He doesn't look like the type that'd cry during Bambi, ST.
ST: Do you remember how to handle that thing? *nods to the camera*
ST: Then shut up and film this.
Raptor: *steps down behind her, smiling playfully* Feisty little buggar.
ST: We're very glad that you accepted us and are thinking about taking over our Q&A column. To make things easier, here's a couple questions that you can answer orally for now to see if you're comfortable with the format.
Kain: *nods deeply and leans forward, clasping both hands together and resting them against his knee, watching her intently*
ST: Okay, this comes from Ami and here's her question:
Dear -Too late now-,
I've been getting really weird dreams lately. They always involve a man in a bullfighting suit and Donald Duck. I know that may sound silly, but that's how it always begins. Then I have this weird flash of my house or something, and I'll watch an event happen there. When I wake up, my dreams are all so fresh in my mind. And everyday so far, I've been suffering some major deja vu and seeing things that happened in my dream actually come true!
Would this be known as a pyschic premonition or something? Because I'd love the money I'd get from this.
Kain: *raises up the muscle above his eye* She has premonitional dreams that become reality?
ST: *folds up the letter, nodding* Pretty much.
Kain: *narrows his eyes in thought* Interesting...
ST: So, anything to say to this?
Kain: *looks down at her before leaning back, resting his elbows against the arms of the throne and linking his fingers together* She posseses the same ability that Mobeius rivaled off. He, too, could see into the future and predict future happenings. However, he was able to control this power...whereas this girl--this Ami--isn't sure. Yes...She mustn't learn how to control that ability...
ST: Eh...That's not exactly the answer we were looking for..
Kain: *quickly shoots his eyes down to her before sitting back up and clearing his throat* Oh yes..I meant that this is just a passing adolence phase for her, probably, and thinking she can see into the future is something exciting for her otherwise dull lifestyle.
ST and Raptor both blink.
Raptor: I like his logic.
ST: Wow..that was pretty comprehensive. Would you like to answer another one?
Kain: Where does this Ami reside at?
ST: *picks up a small envelope and flips it, looking on the front* Dallas, Texas.
Kain: *nods* Dallas, Texas. Very well then...proceed with the next question.
ST: Rightio. This is from Justin. He writes:
Whazzup -Too late now-,
Recently I broke up with my girlfriend and I want to know if ST's avaliable. She seems like a hot chica from what I hear. But I don't know if I should reconcile with my ex. Help???
Kain: *eyes her skeptically* You're a "chicken"?
Raptor: Bawka! *laughs*
Kain: Well, are you avaliable?
ST: Why do these things always turn into whether or not I have a guy?
Raptor: Because no one in their right mind would want you. No offense and all.
ST: None taken.
Kain: What is a "chica"? I don't understand this language.
ST: It's just some kind of shit slang that people use. I guess it means something a girl is...or something. I never really thought about the meaning.
Raptor: It means that she's a saucy senorita.
Kain: *eyes them both before speaking up* Must I answer this one?
ST: 'Fraid so.
Kain: *sighs, rolling his head to the side and thinking silently for a moment*
Raptor: *zooms in on Kain's forehead, widening his eyes at how transparent his skin is*
Kain: *shoots his eyes quickly in Raptors direction, narrowing his eyes*
Raptor: *gulps quietly, thinking to himself*Man...this guy's ugly. Isn't he like a vampire?
Kain: *stares right into the camera lens before speaking* Is something bothering you?
ST: *looks at them both before holding her forehead* Lord..don't say anything too quickly, Raptor.
Raptor: *lowers the camera slightly, eyeing Kain with the same gaze*
Raptor: .....*coughs and returns the camera lens to his eyes, zooming back out*
Kain: That's what I thought.
ST: Moving on.
Kain: Justin should go find someone else if he's unwilling to stay with one thing, although a wandering mind is great potential for a conqueror. Yes...a conqueror... *cups his chin with his talons, thinking*
Raptor: *speaking up suddenly* Up! Look at that..*laughs weakly*...Nearly out of film. Well how much does THAT suck?
ST: What're you talking about? We bought 2 hours worth, and it's only been 30 min--
Audio/video cuts off
Yeah. Looks like Raptor's the chicken.
After Raptor turned off the camera, he bid a hasty retreat while I gave my apologies to Kain. He was interested in knowing where Justin was, as well. Aww...Wanting to meet the fans.
OMG! Can it be?? Honest to God! We actually met up with my *hero* and were able to INTERVIEW him for the position as answerer of questions. Ohh..I'm sweating with anticipation to see how it came out. Hehe!