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Incredibly cool shit that happened at The Slymenstra Hymen Girly Freakshow at The Masquarade in Atlanta, Ga 5-31-01!!!!!

Hello again this is the Reverend Lemonjello Jones. Sorry if anyone clicked on our website Thursday or Friday and found that it sucked more ass than it normally does. I took the day off from work to go see the Slymenstra show. We were going to leave for Atlanta no later than one 1 o'clock since we had no idea where The Masquarade was. Since it was 1:30 and I hadn't heard from any of my friends I thought they had cancelled. So I figure I would try to make the Nahdbit website a little more suitable for a band of our level of mediocrity. So anyhoo at 2:20 Derek, Mike, Tara & Brian show up. I shut off the computer and we soon depart. I almost didn't go because I thought we wouldn't get there on time. But out the door we went. We reached the club at 8 which was when the show was scheduled to start. Our timing could not have been more perfect! As me and Derek pulled in our friends Brian and Tara were leaving to go get food and said we could tag along with them or wait behind with Mike. We already ate so we headed to the club and hooked up with Mike. I didn't bring any Nahdbit tapes or videos because I didn't think I'd meet Slymenstra or any of the other performers but we ran into Slymey and the Freakshow as they were loading in. I go over and introduce myself and ask her if they need any help setting up. She said sure they were running a couple of hours behind I told her I thought me and my friends were going to be late too because we were coming from Nashville she was like "You guys came all the way from Nashville to see us?" I was like yeah just to see you. She then put us and another guy who was helping out named Matt on the guestlist. A little background here me like most males, and females, have had huge crush on Slymenstra for years! And she just as sexy out of character as she is on stage! She is also a genuinely super-cool person. So we help them load in. Then I got to help them set up the stage. And fortunately I didn't break anything. They wouldn't let me try the bed of nails, too much of a lawsuit risk. I can't remember the guy's name I was helping hang the backdrops but he was really cool. The backdrops were beautiful. They were huge sideshow canvases one was for Electra the shock Woman, Spidora the spider lady and of course one for Zamora the Torture King ( this guy is fucking incredible! youve probably seen him in the Jim Rose Sideshow). The show opened with a rockabilly band. They were really cool. Slymenstra did the fire dance routine,the pussy-whipping cowgirl act were she showed how well she can handle a whip, she had a guy come up to fellate a giant balloon cock that was weilded by another sexy freakshow goddess named Rana Terror while Slymenstra exploded the ballon cock with the whip. I hope that never happens to me while I'm getting blown. She did some cool electricity stunts too. Lighting a flourescent tube,Shooting a spark off her tongue and lighting a skewer on fire, did a song in the snake goddess outfit and did a spot in a cool mermaid outfit and flashed the crowd (Yay!). She also did a geek spot where she ate worms and crickets. Also in the Freakshow was a hottie from New York named Rana Terror who did the "Human Blockhead & Dartboard" topless. She also jumped up and down on broken glass, fire eating and did I mention she was topless for some of this? She had electrical tape over her nipples, I think that is super hot! Girls should dress like that at Nahdbit shows! Zamora the Torture King was amazing as always. He did some way cool fire eating spots and bent red hot metal with his feet, chopped up veggies and meat on his chest and balanced on eggs without breaking them. But the coolest was when he swallowed 3 feet of string and cut into his stomach with a scalpel and retreived the string! You could see the string stretching his skin as he pulled it out. Fuckin' A! The show was excellent! I hope they add a Nashville date. I just want to say again how nice Slymenstra Hymen and The Girly Freakshow was to us wish them the best of luck on their tour! The Reverend Lemonjello Jones

Sunday May 5th, 2002
@The Nxt Generation Performance Hall

w/ T.B.A.
15128 Old Hickory Blvd. ph. # 781-3002
7:00 pm $5
ALL AGES!!!!!!

Saturday May 18th, 2002
@Bongo Johnny's

w/ Junkie War Stories, and Mr. Happy
527 West Main St., Murfreesboro, ph. # 867-1003 9:00 pm $8 at the door

(email me about cheap tickets!)

Hello and welcome to the Lojaque & The Flaming Nahdbits bio page! The band has been around for a long time but due to the fact that we are a bunch of slackers we haven't been continuously performing. Get yourself some cocoa because it's fuckin' story time!

Band Bio

A long time ago a guy named Lojaque decided he wanted to start a funk band and perform some some perverted, offensive, objectifying and all around fun for the whole family lyrics he had written. Having only words he sought out the musicians to help cultivate these ideas into songs. I beleive the first person to fall into place was Steve Gervais professionally known as "Silkdaddy The Pimp", "Silk" was a guitarist way into heavy metal and co-wrote with Lojque the first of the Nahdbit material. Amongst the early stuff was the song about getting one's cock maced (Teargas On My Pickle), the "infectious" melody of (The Ballad Of Yeast), the super hippie song (Colored Salad)and the greatest opening song of all time (Ode To Gonads). That is the only one we still do. I love that song. Then they brought in a lead guitarist who was more into funk named Josh Pruit, professionally known as Josh Pruit. I am not sure how long Josh was in the band because that was before my time. After he left Lojque approached former K.Y. & The Jellies guitarist Dave Dice (Me) about replacing Josh. I said no. I wanted to do something serious. Then I realized a lot of that bands that were doing something serious, well , they kind of sucked. Not everyone of course but a lot. Then me and Lojaque wrote more songs "Warhead of Love", "Twinkie Cream", "Shallow Whore", and "Sammitch". So we decided we should get a rhythm section so we got Silkdaddy's friend Jason Powers to play bass. He was just learning and put forth good effort so he was in. We had one hell of a weekend performing for our friends in Lojaque's house and even played an out of town gig in Portland at Junior Foods.For a drummer we hooked up with our buddy Scott Tune p.k.a. "The Playa". He was a bad ass drummer! Unfortunately for Jason he had a bad ass bass player friend named Chad Grant p.k.a. "Chippendale" Chad Grant. So we had a bandmeeting and decided it was in our best interest to replace Jason with Chad. And let me tell ya, there is nothing harder than telling a friend of yours that he can't be in your band anymore. So I had Lojaque tell him! We are all still cool though. But we soon encountered problems with Chad and Scott. It seemed they loved the music but thought some of the lrics were rather offensive, childish and misogynistic. And on the surface it did seem that way.We really only had one song that was that bad. And we don't play it anymore. Everyone lately, both male and female, who have heard our material realize that the overtly sexual comments in our songs are merely a parody of the stereo-typical chauvenistic mindset and not how we truly feel. Plus not all of our songs are like that (anymore). But needless to say Scott and Chad seceeded from the union of the Nahdbits. So the band broke up. We tried to get it back together with our newfound friend Steve Bracken on bass but that didn't work out and we stayed defunct for a couple of years. That is until last year,I was playing with a band called The Jive Society and we had a drummer (Matt Shively now known as "Dirty" Sanchez) that we fired from the band, or maybe he quit, yeah he did quit. He wanted to go back to playing bass. I knew he would make a perfect Nahdbit. So I talked to Lojaque and we started up the Nahdbits again. So we started looking for a drummer. We came across a guy named Caleb Jones (p.k.a. Khaalib Mustafa Saed). He use to play for Limit 45. We practiced with him and I could see he had potential so we worked really hard to get ready to play some shows. Also our good friend Mark Lewis joined up with us under the hood of "Mr. Chicken". Mr. Chicken has been getting the crowds into the shows while we play and also has been whipping the ass of this evil viking guy called Bane "The Despoiler" on stage. With this Bane guy keeps coming back for more is beyond me. I think he would have had enough by now. We have been taking a little time off for some fine tuning but I would estimate we'll be playing out again in about a month. Well we let Caleb go so we could keep our bassist. He didn't like performing with him because he thought he was too inconsistant. So we got Dave Cox (Inspecta Phunc) to take over drums. He use to be with Java Christ and Cockfight. After we let Caleb go, Dirty Sanchez quit the band anyway. It seems he was planning to move and didn't tell us until after the Caleb incident. So then we had to get another bass player. Our friend Tray Suiter had just quit his band Lennon and said he would do it. He has also been in Communist, 12Volt, and THE JIVE SOCIETY. Hopefully we can keep this lineup for awhile. Also, Chris Jones has been our videographer and has helped us out with mikes and is my evil brother Dr. Orangejello Jones. And as I've said before we should be playing shows in a month or two!

Yours truly,The Reverend Lemonjello Jones