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Checkity-check Old Spew for all the juicy (or not so juicy) bits.
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y.
Posted By: kuppakawfy at 3:52pm February 11, 2002
“the ‘net is definitely public domain. It doesn’t get much more accessible to the middle class malcontents than an Angelfire home page or a blogger. On the other hand, what’s the real intent behind the people who write these journals? I had one for about 2 seconds and failed to write in it regularly because what I was going through didn’t involve the opinions of voyeur masses. (It also could have been the absence of a bouncing kitty head that Jeck is so fond of.) But I wonder if other people have that same internal monologue that discourages from being too open too much of the time.” -minister salvo, from ministry-of-peace.org
Hearing the minister makes me wonder why the hell I keep a blog. At first I thought that it would be a good opportunity to learn HTML. Proficiency in HTML doesn’t seem much different to me than reading the manual for your VCR. And with the amount of java editors and their ilk in the hands of the unwashed, creating a webpage is far from inaccessible.
I write mostly because I can. I can call it a vent, but the term’s so hackneyed that I doubt either I or my perceived audience understands what the word means anymore. For me, it’s completely banal. I scream to feel my lungs, and to hear my own voice reverberating through my skull.
I doubt that I’m ever going through anything that warrants or needs “the opinions of voyeur masses.” If I really cared who my audience was, on the ‘streams or in real life, wouldn’t it cease to be my life anyway?
But maybe that’s the point. Give away your opinions, give away yourself, and you lose your grip on it. It becomes less a part of you. And because it becomes less of a part, it doesn’t seem so grave anymore.
I’m just giving away things in attempt to take life a little less seriously. Who cares if anyone takes them, so long as they’re not mine anymore.
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Pucka.
Posted By: kuppakawfy at 2:52pm February 9, 2002
I regret leaving my seat in front of that fountain of Guinness I occupied yesterday. I've been reading too much Hellblazer, I suppose. I've already started calling people 'worthless gits' and referred to a trip to the restroom as 'taking a slash.' Kudos to the books, though, as they've pulled me back into loving comics.
I'm trying to get my shit together at the front. My laziness at school is catching up with me, and I think I'll be playing catchup until spring break. I desperately hope I will be in synch sooner, as I have a period of rest scheduled in Charlotte then.
I showed my face and resume at the school's co-op office yesterday, and am hopefully tossing a few bricks onto the mortar for the future. I'm currently in the process of looking through available co-op positions and deciding what kind of co-op I want to participate in, alternating or parallel, and if I want to travel or not.
If I take an alternating gig, it will delay an already belated graduation, but it could mean some very good opportunities, like national defense or game development, if I can find out who has interships available and who doesn't.
What's staying the hand right now is my lack of confidence in my programming skills. Programming still seems like sorcery to me-- I'm not completely sure what I'm doing, and am often surprised at the result. Because I'm so conscious of the dearth, I am afraid of taking the better (and more challenging) jobs. Nonetheless, it'd be pretty cool to work at the NSA. I wonder if my work report would be pretty vague, considering that much of it, as I understand it, would have to refer to classified information.
So now I'm dreaming of the future, trying to remember how to use constructors in Java, and plotting the path to my next pint.
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Arrrgh!
Posted By: kuppakawfy at 12:13pm January 20, 2002
Why can’t my employers get my schedule right? I had to turn in an availability sheet at the beginning of the semester that outlines when I am in class, when I can work, and when I cannot. Apparently the sheet is worth less than the paper it’s printed on, because they have repeatedly ignored it. The first schedule even went so far as to schedule me during classes.
I suppose, I hope that getting a real job will do away with this sophomoric bull shit. If my availability is a problem, the I should be told about it. I have tried every kind of communication I can think of, short of throwing a brick (with note attached) through the window.
I really like the manager of the labs, but it pains me to see that, while he insists that he has a good ‘crew,’ the bulk of the people I work with are good at nothing short of ineptitude.
I should just get another job, I should just get another job. . . I can say it like a mantra, but there’s fucking nothing I can do about it. I suppose my whining points out my own ineptitude. If I am as competent as I think I am, I should be able to get a better job. As far as I know, though, too many of the services on campus are cramped with idiots for me to get a spot.
I’m supposed to be a computer guy. I shouldn’t have to flip burgers or bus tables. I shouldn’t have to even consider it. Maybe I am taking it too personally, but if it happens to me, then isn’t that sometimes a good enough reason to feel so?
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The cycle begins anew.
Posted By: kuppakawfy at 2:47pm January 13, 2002
Hah! I never bothered to mention that I passed all my classes. Passing means financial aid, which means I can pay for classes, which means that I can take a few more steps toward a degree.
To top it off, I have a 3.0 GPA right now! I must say, that’s not bad for a wanker who flunked more than his fair share of classes. I may just redeem myself in this life.
The wahoos who run the fantabulous StudentMicroComputerLabs (yup, that’s actually how they write it) think that these labs need to be open on the weekend at the beginning of the semester. All anyone does here is check their e-mail and surf the internet for their turtleneck sweaters. I’m torn on the issue. . . essentially, I pay my own wages, because I pay the fees in the tuition that fund this lab. So I should be upset that the school’s wasting my money on keeping what is an academic lab, open on the weekend, so joe and jane student can bolster their social lives and wardrobe by throwing a few packets on the internet. But they are paying me to be here to do essentially nothing except fill out reports and answer stupid questions. Even then, it becomes a circular argument, because I am, as I just said, paying my own wages, essentially.
I would get a better job, but until I start strafing the co-op office with resumes and get a real mode of transportation, my options are severely limited.
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