As we go through the different stages of recovery we eventually reach the anger stage, some stay here a while, and some come back to it many times. For those times, I wanted to include some tips for dealing with the anger of a victim/survivor. A lot of these have helped me tremendously in my healing. Anger can be a great leap forward if we express it, and get it OUT, so that we are not constantly fighting to not FEEL these perfectly normal, healthy emotions. I hope these can help you too.
THROWING:
Throw nerf balls or rubber balls against a wall.
Throw darts (how about an image of the abuser on the board?)
Throw water balloons, eggs, pumpkins, sticks or glass (with a tarp) against a fence.
Throw pillows against the floor or wall, throw rocks into a river, creek.
YELLING:
Scream into a pillow, scream in the shower.
Take a drive and roll up the windows, scream with the radio.
Scream in the woods.
WRITING:
Write a letter to the abuser, don't hold back anything! let it all out, say not why? but" I'm mad at you because..., I hate you because..." then burn the letter or tear it up into tiny pieces.
Keep a journal! write down these emotions daily as they hit you. Keep your journal private.
TALKING/PLAY:
Daydream or imagine a conversation where you let the abuser have it, tell them everything you feel, your anger, your betrayal feelings, "I want you to know..."
Talk to your therapist about your anger, maybe arrange a playrole for them.
Put a picture of the abuser up and tell them why you are so angry, and explain all the consequences and damages they've caused you over the years.
KICKING:
Kick scissors kicks while swimming, these are very exhaustive.
Put a mattress up on a wall, and kick or punch the wall.
Stomp empty egg cartons, lots of them.
PUNCHING:
Roll up a futon and stand it on it's end, then take a foam or rubber bat and bat away.
Hit furniture with a magazine or rolled newspaper.
Stack up pillows on your bed and hit them. Or stack up pillows on your headboard/wall, then lie flat and kick them against the wall.
