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Personal Thoughts

This is me and my dad. I love him to death, there's no doubt about that. I don't know what I'd do with out him. Over the years our relationship has been rocky if you will. When I was little I would never leave his side. I was always with him no matter where he was going or went. But kids do grow up and at times he doesn't want to see that. That is when we clash... I've gotten to the state in life when I want my time alone and want that respected. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand that at times. He feels that I don't care about him any more just because I want to be alone. I know he'd do anything for me and I'd do anything for him. I think it's hard for him to see his "baby girl" grow up. Out of 4 daughters I'm the only one to survive, the rest died at birth... so I can see why he'd want to refuse to let me grow up, but it's gotta happen. He's getting better at accepting the fact that I'm not a baby any more, but he has a ways to go.

As you'll be able to tell from some of the next pictures to come, I've changed quite a bit in the past year or so. I've lost 47 pounds in less than a year. Before that I had little self esteem and was always down on myself. I'm getting better as the days go by, but it's still hard to decipher what is being said as the truth and what is being said just to "be nice." I've lost some friendships and dealt with some hard situations in the last few years, but that hasn't broke me. It has only made me stronger and made me realize the true meaning of "friend" and I've found out who those true friends really are. I've been more happy since having this happen to me because I have more positive support and know that I can trust what is being said to me now. Only thing I regret is neglecting those who were always there and truthful. I've found in life that most respect comes from honesty. I can't stand people who are fake, mold themselves to be what others want, and act like they know you. Don't just agree with me to avoid a dispute, let me know what you really think. I don't like to sit and wonder what is wrong, I'd much rather someone be straight forward and to the point with me.

Myrtle Beach, SC Summer 2003. Just me goofing off and being my silly self. That was a trip I'll never forget. Playing every minute by ear and just being totally lazy while sunning by the beachside. Oh and not to forget to mention it was... BIKER WEEK!!

Those midnight meals at the beach. You can't beat that. Sitting there on the dock, listening to the waves crash onto the beach, stars lighting up the night sky, and thinking about the one you love. It was so relaxing... just being able to put the rush of the world aside for a week and not have a care one... it was just unexplainable.

Ahh those self taken pictures! You can't beat them! This was taken from the balcony of our 8th story room overlooking the ocean. I loved waking up to seeing nothing but sand and water. Then before falling asleep at night hearing the waves break on the shore. So calming and so soothing. It just let me slip away and be that carefree person I miss being.

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