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Resident Evil... 2 Poetry!

I think I can safely say that this is the only Resident Evil... 2 poetry page on the web. What can I say... I was playing that crazy scary game, and came up with some impromptu poetry, and some lovely haiku.... Enjoy!

(By the way... I'd like everyone to note that these poems are SUPPOSED to be bad. I exercised no skill in writing them. Stop sending me mail saying they suck, because I know... I made them that way.)

shotgun shells

oh, I will take
the shotgun shells
the shotgun shells
the shotgun shells
oh I will take
the shotgun shells
and blow some shit up with them

the end of innocence and the beginning of putrification
or
skinless zombie

skinless zombie
where's your clothes?
where's your skin?

[licka!]

Licker Licker

licker licker
on the wall
licker licker
your tongue ain't small

licker licker
you got no skin
licker licker
what mood you in?

licker licker
you got big claws
licker licker
they sure ain't paws!

licker licker
starin' at me
licker licker
make me want to flee

licker licker
you got lots of drool
licker licker
formin' a little pool

licker licker
you sure do smell
licker licker
you smell like hell

licker licker
your friends nearby?
licker licker
they make me cry

licker licker
you've got bad breath
licker licker
so suck hot death


female zombie

female zombie
you look like a ho
not only are you dead
but you got trashy clothes
you're all rotted
and moanin' too
you look like you should be on springer
so now...
suck lead.

zombie dog

zombie dog
do you have zombie fleas?
never mind
suck lead.

giant spider

eek!
it's trying to poison me!
suck lead!

If you want to see some of my actual GOOD poetry, try either My Ode to... or Writings de Whitney ...

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Send questions or comments to zaphod27@aol.com

All poems copyright Whitney Reynolds 1998. If you steal, I'll make you suck lead.

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