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Helping The Bereaved

Welcome to Born Still's Helping The Bereaved Page
Have you suffered the loss of a child due to stillbirth, miscarriage ect. If so, PLEASE click here.
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This page is to help family and friends to know how to help the grieving parents. I am adding a list of things to say and NOT say. You will also find ways to be helpful to the grieving families. I hope this page helps you help others.

What Not to say or do for the grieving parents.

  • Do not say to the grieving parents - "At least you didn't get to know the baby" - That baby was carried inside it's mothers body . How can any relationship be any stronger or intimate.

  • Do not say to the grieving parents - "You are young you can have other children." This child was a person. It can not be replaced. You would not tell a grieving child "Don't worry your mom is young she'll marry you a new dad."

  • Do not say to the grieving parents - "I know how you feel" - If you have never lost a child, you do not know how they feel.

  • Do not say to the grieving parents - "You should be over it by now" - It doesn't matter how long it's been. You do not ever get over it.

  • Do not say to the parents - "You should be happy it didn't suffer." Of course they didn't want their child to suffer. They wanted a completely healthy and happy child.

  • Don not say to the parents - "At least you have your other child/children." Again they are very grateful for their other child/children, but they wanted to keep all their children. Other peocple get too.

  • Do not say to the parents - "At least it didn't live a few hours and then die, that would have hurt worse." They would have loved to have heard their babies cry, see the color of their eyes, tell them how much thet love them while they where living.

  • Do not act as if their child never lived. - She/he did and they loved, and still love them with all their heart and soul.

  • Do not ignore them. - They need you more now than they ever have.

What to say and do to and for the grieving parents.

  • Do say to the grieving parents - "I love you!"

  • Do say to the grieving parents - "Can I do anything for you?"

  • Do say to the grieving parents - "I am here to listen when you want to talk about your precious baby."

  • Do say to the grieving parents - "Can I watch the other children so you can rest."

  • Do say to the grieving parents - "Can I clean the house for you while you rest."

  • The greatest gift you can give them is your love and support in anyway they need.

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