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Contemplation and Pain




July 15, 2000

Well everyone is gone for the night, and I have the place to myself. It is rather peaceful for me and I finally have time to think by myself. The downside is that I even have the time to think about all the bad things happening to me right now. But I am starting to accept the bad with the good with the bad. I haven't worked up the courage to call my grandfather and talk to him, last I heard he had cancer, and it may be a terminal case. I have lived with the increasing number of deaths of people I care about in the past few years, and it seems like it's all I can do anymore to keep my sanity.

I'm still single of course, yet I'm now taking steps to try and resolve that particular problem, although I have no idea how long it's gonna take me. But it's another facet of life that I'm dealing with. The fourth of July party this year was a success, especially the war. It was a helluva lot of fun.

I sit here now and prepare to write another one of my poems, and I think about what all I have been through throughout my life, especially during these past few years. I think of the life and joy I've seen, as well as the death and sorrow. Life is taking some interesting turns right now, I just wonder what tomorrow will bring.

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