
November 14, 2000
I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. I've been thinking about my ex-girlfriend or fiance, whichever, Misty. I can't get her out of my mind. I'm going to force myself to call her this evening, and if I can make myself. I might try to ask her out. She was the one woman that I have ever truely loved, and I still do love her, that is what is killing me so. I would do anything that she would ask, and if for some strange reason she said that she would be with me again. I would be willing to give up everything for her. Anything to be with her again.
People always say that women come and go, but what happens if you are truely in love, will there ever be another? I know that not only have I not felt this way about another, but I never lost my feelings for her in the first place. I still remember the first time I saw her, it was at a Ren Faire. She was dressed in this beautiful white gown, I think that I fell in love right then, I know that the feelings that I've felt have always mirrored what I first felt that day. I even still have the first thing that she ever gave me. It was a small white bead, it was from her gown, I have it in a small cotton filled box, I just could never bring myself to get rid of any of the things she gave me. It is a painful reminder, yes, but the memories that I have of her, and the love I still feel, they make the bit of pain tolerable.
Well I'm going to go call her soon, I wonder if I'll actually be able to muster the courage to ask for a date?... I just don't know. I dream of her all the time. I must ask if this story will have a happy ending...