
May 11, 2000
My, my, my, what an intersting cunundrum I'm now facing. It appears that my heart might actually be excaping the dark coner that I've locked it into. And to make matters worse it's happening far too fast, I feel as though I have absolutily no contol over matters. And this my friends, it scares the hell out of me.
There are just so many damn complications revolving around the situations. From what I gather, most of the feelings if not all are mutual, but there are other things getting in the way. If it were within my power I would get rid of the existing problems, but it is only something that can be solved over time.
This is why I hate love so much, there is so much pain and sorrow to go along with the joy. Sometimes I wish I were immune to the feelings of love, and yet at the same time I now find myself falling victom to it's sting. Rachel is her name, and I fear that I would do anything to make her happy for all time. I only hope that this does not end the way all my other relationships have.
I am agnostic/athiest, yet I pray to any diety that may exist to bless me this once. All I want is happiness, I hope I'm not asking for too much.