DEPRESSION I'm in a black mood today, something rare in the days since I left the bottle & dope behind & found my one true love again. But today the sky bleeds rain & my soul seems chilled by it. On a day like today I remember how I enjoyed perching on a bar stool in the neon light, a glass of Johnny Walker & a smoke at hand, feeling like King of the World, full of myself , sure of myself as well, a sodden soldier going about the holy work of doubt eradication. I recall how the words came in blossoms, booze opened the basement door & let them rush forth to freedom like children loosened from some mad god. Today, the words are lodged in some crack, some dank cranny of a mind too far gone to give a damn. Somewhere along the way I missed the train, the plane, the boat. I was left standing in the terminal dust alone, frowning at lights fading in the distance, sounds falling away to the ethers. Shortly they were only a memory & soon not even that. When there are no more words, words matter no more. I was a long time getting there, if here is there. And it really doesn't matter.