Lube Recipes

New lubes on this page start here.

"BALANCE LUBE"

This is for people who don't like their lube to be too slippery (like K-Y) or too thick (like Vaseline). Take a cup and put a little Vaseline petroleum jelly in it. Then add a dab or two of Aloe vera gel, along with a few drops of water. Next, add a dab of Vaseline Intensive Care. Then a couple dabs of bath gel or gel-style shaving cream (like Edge or Gillette for tough beards). Finally, add two squirts of baby oil. Mix well, and use as you would any other lube.

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ALBOLENE FOREVER

An excellent lube is Albolene, which can be found at the drug store in some parts of the U.S. The jar, which has a blue and green label, says it's a "liquefying cleanser," but there's no soap in it. It's made for removing make-up, but it's terrific for masturbating. Apply a small amount, and you're good for an hour with no drying out — and it wipes off with a towel easily, leaving no stains. One important thing to remember about Albolene, however, is that it not to be used with condoms, since it's not water-based. Also note: Albolene seems to be sold only in certain parts of the U.S.; it may not be available on the West Coast or other parts of the world.

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ULTIMATE MASTURBATION FLUID
Mix together the following ingredients:
1 teaspoon baby oil
2 tablespoons Vaseline Intensive Care hand lotion
2 tablespoons facial cream (cold cream, etc.)
3 tablespoons aloe vera (the green stuff) 1 tablespoon Campho-Phenique canker-sore-numbing ointment (optional)
Get in the shower, and smear some of the fluid all over your penis and scrotum or anywhere else you want. Then get some more and put it all over your hands. Use the grip that makes you most comfortable, and enjoy. This is not something to try without being in the shower, as it can get messy.

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SLICK-ACTION LUBE
Ingredients:
3 soup spoons of mayonnaise
1 teaspoon clove-oil extract
1 cup olive oil
1/2 large tube K-Y Jelly
Mix ingredients well in a bowl. With your hand, pick up a large glop and place your penis into it. Begin to stroke. It's messy but cool, soothing, and the clove oil gives your erection new rigor.

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FAKE SEMEN LUBE
Combine the wetness of hand lotion with the stickiness of K-Y Jelly by blending the two substances. Experiment with the ratio; you can end up with a mixture that has the appearance and consistency of semen. Recommended if you want to try masturbating with semen as a lube but lack the energy to masturbate twice.

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TRY CORNSTARCH
Another product to use as a masturbation "lubricant" is cornstarch-based baby powder. Make sure it's cornstarch-based baby powder, which works better than regular baby powder. Just sprinkle on the penis and maybe some in the hand, and away you go. It's smooth, and not as messy as wet lube. Plus, it leaves a nice-scented powder behind, which can do any crotch good. You can put a shot or two of it in your underwear to keep you nice and fresh all day long. It costs a lot less than K-Y, and if it's found by your bed, it's much less embarrassing.

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CETAPHIL
Cetaphil, available at some drug stores, is a skin cleanser for the entire body. Unlike traditional soap, it's non-abrasive and is not alkaline-based, so it's easier on your skin. It feels smooth, slippery, and cool. Just rub it on and go.

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BABY OIL GEL
In the drug store, look for Baby Oil Gel. It's smoother than Vaseline but washes up easily, with just a little soap. It's also slicker than baby oil (and not as thin), water resistant (great in the shower), and leaves your hands and penis smooth and soft. And it's inexpensive. You might also try adding a little conventional baby oil to it: Put some gel on your hand, and then add a few drops of baby oil on your palm, and spread it around. The cleanup seems a little easier compared to just the gel.

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THE E-TICKET
Vitamin E is a thick, golden oil that feels very good on the penis. For wild masturbators who rub themselves raw, vitamin E has healing effects on wounds, too. This is also true for guys who shave their pubic hair — razor nicks quickly covered with vitamin E heal quicker and leave less of a mark on your skin. With vitamin E, your penis feels great to the touch, even days later, and it looks young and smooth. You can open 10 or 15 of the capsules, but opening enough capsules for a large penis is a lot of work. Look for one-ounce bottles in your supermarket's vitamin section.

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LINSEED OIL
Linseed oil, used to preserve sports equipment, has a deep tan color and makes a sheen on the skin that enhances the appearance of penis shaft and glans. It doesn't dry out quickly, and it lasts longer than you will. Best of all, it is nearly frictionless — but what friction is there translates into a sensual "dragging" motion of just the right intensity. And being an oil, it allows your semen to just slip right off your penis. Its aroma might remind you of locker rooms and sports halls from school days where early masturbatory adventures happened. Linseed oil can be removed easily with soap.

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JASMINE OIL
Blended jasmine essential oil is a good lubricant. The scent of jasmine is erotic, and when applied liberally to the penis or vagina, it can lead to great experiences. Make sure you buy the blended form; the pure form is more expensive. Another oil that can be mixed into your lubricant is ylang ylang, which is heady and erotic, but use it sparingly — if you use more than one drop it can burn a little.

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