here is a scientific theory

have you ever thought about cats? it is really odd how they always seem to land on their feet. here is a diagram:

i'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down

also, bread that has butter on it (henceforth known as buttered bread) always lands with the butter side down, which is a bad thing! (ironically, a cat landing on its feet is a good thing) here is a diagram of the previously stated point about bread:
i've seen everything there is to be shown

the forces that produce these amazing phenomenoms are among the greatest in the universe. now, this next diagram may seem a bit assanine at first, but hold your horses just a it is:
i followed her all the way home

these forces will counter each other to the point that neither will be able to overtake the other. therefore one of two things will occur. note that both of these will occur in mid-air, thats right, mid-air. here is a diagram:
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the possibilities for this are endless. it has endless possibilities. there are many things it can be used for. one thing it can be used for is a big floating city, much like cloud city as seen on george lucas's "the empire strikes back" (which was the second in the popular star wars series) it could also be used to make a monorail like the one at disney land.

thanks for your time
-wes, leader of scientific division of wes and chris presents

a new discovery! what if, instead of the different powers being opposed...the powers were turned on themselves?!?! the simpler of the two is diagramed below:

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this would be the most effective thing ever! but of course if you wanted to try something else, here is something that requires some preparation. here is a diagram of the equipment necessary:
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now, here is what you do next:maxim is a cool magazine then you do this:i have one on my desk then you are done! isnt science gr8????????