186,000 Miles per second, not just a good idea, it is the LAW!!!
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
A dill pickle makes a soggy bookmark.
A friend is someone who knows the song in your hear and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
A part of you has grown on me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart.
A ship in the harbor is safe. But that's not what ships are built for.
A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.
A true friend walks in when the world walks out.
Absence is to love as wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All innovation is accomplished by lazy people who were tired of doing things the hard way.
All racists who are prepared to die for their country, please do that now.
All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
Always be yourself...if you're anything else...you're a liar."
Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else!
And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?" They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed." And Jesus replied, "What?"
Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.
Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter.
Art is the tree of life. Science is the tree of death.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle too.
Because I love you truly,
Because you love me, too,
My very greatest happiness
Is sharing life with you.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Change your thoughts and you change your life.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
Constipated people don't give a crap.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
Do not drink coffee in the morning or it will keep you awake until noon.
Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Don't meddle in affairs with dragons, cuz like, you're crunchy.
Dreams are the flowers of the soul.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
Every day the world turns over on someone who's just been sitting on top of it.
Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."
Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some just abuse the priveledge.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity!
Follow your dream. Unless its the one where you are at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
For in my mind of all mankind I love but you alone.
Go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you'll see farther.
God favors no group. Only religions do that.
God is for those who can't handle reality or drugs.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
He who blows his own horn always plays the music several octaves higher than originally written.
Here's to the man that's good and sweet,
Here's to the man that's true,
Here's to the man that rules my heart,
In other words, here's to you.
Home is where you hang your @
Hope that it is not your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others.
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
I am worth all the time you invest in me.
I don't believe in stereotypes, I prefer to hate people on a more personal basis.
I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
I feel more like I do now than I did a little while ago.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
I think it's comforting to know that, whenever you need a friend, there's always some fanatical cult out there somewhere, waiting with open arms.
I think, therefore I am dangerous.
I think, therefore I am. I think.
I tried not to loathe him for his insistence on having a life before meeting me, but it was difficult.
I was naked when I wrote this.
I was wondering...if it is just a coincidence, but computer dating started just a few years back, and now these tiny laptops are springing up all over the place? Also, I wonder if computer viruses are caused by too much computer dating?
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
If you ever need a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm.
If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they will stop making it.
If you have love in your life,
It can make up for a great many things you lack.
If you do not have it,
No matter what else there is,
It is not enough.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you said my eyes were beautiful, it's because they're looking at you.
If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
I'm a babe magnet... just the wrong end.
In a perfect world, stupidity would hurt.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
It was all so different before everything changed.
It will do no man any good to love a woman unless he keeps on telling her so.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything good.
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Jesus saves . . . by spending wisely and using double coupons.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Kiss me and you will see stars;
Love me and I will give them to you.
Life. It's just a cereal.
Life without Music would be a mistake.
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.
Look at the happy moron,
he doesn't give a damn!
I wish I were a moron,
my God perhaps I am!
Love is like oxygen -- too much and you get too high; not enough and you die.
Love means being sure without ever having to test.
May you have
enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy and
enough money to buy me gifts.
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
Never frown even when you're sad because you never know when someone may be falling in love with your smile.
Never kiss a fool and never be fooled by a kiss.
Never pet burning dogs.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Normal is a setting on the dryer.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Not all that glitters is evil.
Nothing is too wonderful to be true.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
On the other hand, I have five fingers.
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Panic now - avoid the rush
People follow where you lead, not where you point.
People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Perfection, as a concept, is inherently flawed.
Physical strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear.
Procrastination is a sin
That only leads to sorrow,
But I can stop at any time . . .
Perhaps I will tomorrow
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
Real love hurts;
Real love makes you totally vulnerable and open;
Real love will take you far beyond yourself;
Therefore real love will devastate you.
If love does not shatter you,
You do not know love
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
Say what you mean ... Mean what you say.
Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.
See, okay, no.
Sex on TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Silence is one of the most effective forms of communication.
Some goals are so worthy, it is glorious even to fail.
Some people can tell time by looking at the sun Personally, I've never been able to make out the numbers.
Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like.
Some people play hard to get...I play hard to want.
Some people smile.....others just stink.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of meeting the schedule have been forgotten.
The facts, although interesting, are generally irrelevant.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
The meek shall inherit shit.
The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
The only problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
The other line always moves faster... until you get in it.
The other night I was laying on my bed, looking up at the beautiful stars, and I thought to myself "where the HELL is my ROOF?!!"
The pen is mightier than the sword, until it runs out of ink.
The problem with sex in the movies is that your popcorn usually spills.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The speed of time is one second per second.
The truth will set you free - but first it will make you miserable.
The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
The world gets a little better every day, and worse in the evening.
There is no "I" in Team.
There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
This computer protected by "Smith and Wesson."
This e-mail has been rated 'so-so'.
This is as bad as it can get... but don't bet on it.
This is not a dress rehearsal.
This sentence no verb.
Those who expect nothing shall never be disappointed.
To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.
To the world, you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world.
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
True love is only found in the heart.
Use what talents you possess. The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
We all make mistakes, it's what we do afterwards that matters.
What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.
Whatever you do, make it fun.
When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.
When in danger or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout.
When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and salt.
When no one trusts, does it matter that everyone lies?
Who is more foolish: A child afraid of the dark, or a man afraid of the light?
Worry is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
You are reinforcing my inherent mistrust of strangers.
You can always find someone ready to carry the stool when there is a piano to be moved.
You cannot really love someone who never makes you laugh.
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
You don't have to conform to the values of your peers. It gets pretty boring sitting home every night though.
You have to color outside the lines once in awhile if you want to make your life a masterpiece.
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
You often believe those you don't know because they have never decieved you.
