The 80's had the "Couch Potato" (solanum tuberosum video
locus), now as we enter the last half of the last decade of the
last century of the millennium, modern computer technology has
created a new improved version...
The Desk Potato!
(solarium tuberosum computare locus)
Are you a desk potato? Here are a few of the telltale signs to
watch out for:
1.You're reading this page.
Bad sign already. If you're reading this page it means you are
doing some serious surfing into the far reaches of webscurity.
2.Time moves at a different rate for you.
One minute for you can mean several hours for people in normal
space. There is actually a technical reason for this. It is a
temporal distortion field caused by excessive bogon flux eminating
from the CRT.
3.You can remember the most obscure commands but not family birthdays.
You have no trouble remembering that Ctrl-N launches a second
netscape window, or that http://www.norsat.com/norsat/microsat/tuning.html
will automatically tune your satellite receiver, but you are not
sure what day your sister's birthday or your <gulp!> anniversary
is.
4.You hope for rainy days.
Rainy days mean that you won't be hassled about going outside
and doing yard work. On a rainy day you can get in a good 16 -
20 hours or more of guilt free surfing!
5.You keep forgetting to capitalize people's names.
Too many hours of writing email have hampered your ability to
communicate with normal.people@realworld.earth.pl.
6.You keep your computer at the highest possible screen resolution.
You couldn't stand the thought of having only one application
on the screen, so you crank up that resolution so you can have
two netscape windows, email, a source code, and your Microsat
150 satellite video all available at the same time!
7.Your subconscious can speak for you.
You have the ability to repeat the phrases "I'll be right
there", "just one minute more", "goodnight"
and others without needing to trouble your conscious mind with
either the question or the response.
8.You'll follow any Link just to see where it goes.
In fact, you may have occasionally been tempted to click on a
link which said "DON'T CLICK HERE".
9.You have Cable and Satellite TV on your computer.
This qualifies you for the supreme rank of Spud Royale. The ultimate
power surfer with all of the information that the internet, world,
local TV, and satellite has to offer! News before it happens,
pilots for shows that may never air, new shows days or weeks before
anyone else.
10.Spelling is a lost art.
You rely on a spell chequer sow much that you're sentences are
awl spelled correctly but often don't make cents (without the
speel checker you couldn't spell yur way out of a wet paper bag).