You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four
large brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt,
a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's
the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn
on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off
the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets
stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now
sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon.
Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check
the whiskey again and go to bed.
Happy holidays! Please feel free to share this recipe with others.