| March | ||
| April | ||
| May | ||
| Miscellaneous |
"Lord Kelvin is dead...but his unit of measure will live FOREVER!" - W
"Now is NEVER the time!" - W
"Back off man ... I’m a scientist!" - W (From "Ghost Busters")
"When will PowerSchool be fixed?" - Class Member
"The 12th of NEVER! I don’t care!" - W
"You know, you sure expect a whole lot." - W
"Utah students deserve more." - John
"Sarcasm is one of the services I offer ... Chemistry is one of the other ones." - W
"You’re both bad people ... now shut up!" - W to John and David
"My bromine’s falling off." - W
"Some of you may be saying, ‘Who cares?’...and that’s a good point." - W
"If I was gonna' grow up, I would not be in High School for the rest of my life." - W
"When Mark stopped talking, we discussed the fact that Stacie was talking
to Sarah." - W
"Why don’t you send her in the hall?" - David W.
"Because you talk more in 5 minutes than she does in a week." - W
"You know Josh, you should observe how many times he (John) talks in a period. No wait, you’d have to hire a separate person to do that." - W
"And you may say to yourself, why does it matter?" - W
"Don’t touch that with your mouth. Do you know where it’s been?" - Ryan
W.
"In my mouth." - W
"[To David] Stop tempting John. I don’t want to see him playing with your ear." - W
"Several years ago, when we were learning in this class..." - W
"If it’s political, I don’t care!." - W
"Let’s move on to #1." - W - 9:54 AM (44 minutes in)
"[To Mark] Shut up, cyanide boy!" - W
"I don’t really understand this class dynamic." - W
"[To John] I don’t remember any alleged extra credit." - W
"Watch your mouth!" - David
"I wish you would be quiet and watch my mouth!" - W
"I have too many inhibitions." - W
"(Singing) From a distance, God is watching us..." - Kyle and David
"He’d better not be, this is a public school." - W
"Never forget the part where I don’t care." - W
"You’re right, you win." - David
"She usually does." - Erin
"That’s right!" - W
"Ok, we’re going to end this conversation because John hasn’t reached puberty yet." - W
"If you would shut up...--pauses, class continues to talk--...If you could shut up..." (class still talks) - W
"Rumor has it, potassium cyanide will put hair on your chest." - David
"Rumor has it, potassium cyanide will kill you." - W
"No, right before you die, it sprouts." - David
"Actually, it would grow after you died." - W
"Say, I had the sudden urge to take the log10 of this." - W
"That would never happen." - David
"It would happen to me." - W
"We’re going to move on now, because the bell’s going to ring and we haven’t
done this yet. Short Version..." - W
--Bell Rings--
"No, you’re done." - David (interrupting)
"Ok, really short version." - W
"[To David] Are you too sexy for this class?" - W
"[To Erin] Ok, ignore them...they’re full of crap." - W (about John and David)
"It’s too bad you guys are all psycho." - W
"Sometimes we like to be in Chemistry instead of freaking Biology!" - W
"Titration is basically a fancy word for mixing two things together, and they react...Pretty dang exciting." - W
"Some of you have done this in Biology...good for you." - W
"Ok, I don’t want anyone else to talk...ever." - W
--Wentz hesitates during explanation, then pauses altogether. Class is talking.--
"What are you waiting for, Miss Wentz?" - Sarah B.
"I’m waiting for John and David to stop holding hands." - W
"Can we move on now? And next time, don’t tell the class when we’re holding
hands." - John
"I’d just like to say that your overhead looks like Dustin’s paper." - Chris
H.
"This part’s legible." --brackets 4 lines-- - W
"It’s all legible." - Dustin
"Dustin can read it." - David
"How far did we get, you slow, way behind class?" - W
"It's hydrogen attached to an apple." - W
"Hydrogen doesn't attach to an apple." - John
"I was trying to make a point." - W
"What if we answer that on an AP test?" - John
"They aren't going to ask about hydrogen-apple on an AP test!" - W
"I want all of you to write this down, even those of you who never take notes. Write in on your green outline...because otherwise, you will all ask me this over and over, and I will have to..." - W
"You know what? Whatever's going on, I want to point out that I don't care." - W
"And I would say to myself, 'How am I supposed to solve for tha' wha'?'" - W
"Then I said to myself, self..." - W
"And I have to tell you, Mr. Henderson-Hasselbach is going to be your new best friend...forever." - W
"Parley crossed my notes out." - John
"I don't care." - W
"Why is Parley your favorite?" - David
"He's not." - Sarah
"Oh my gosh! Sarah has some bitterness issues. I'm sorry, that was kinda'
mean." - Erin
"Erin said sorry! Write that down." - John
"No, don't tell her, then she'll stop saying it." - Sarah
"Well, don't you want her to improve?" - W
"No." - Sarah
"Oh my gosh! What kind of friends are you?" - W
"Erin, I love you...I just want you to stop talking." - W
"Why don't we just memorize the whole chemistry book then?" - David
"That would be good." - W
"Ok." - David
"Pointless, but..." - W
"Can I touch it?" - Kyle
"No." - W
"Say you were to drink..." - W
"...cyanide?" - Mark
"...lemonade." - W
"Parley was so cute last year, and now he's a butt." - Erin
"Erin said the 'B-word'..." - John
"...bitterly." - Kyle
"Parley, You have the biggest head." - David (who sits directly behind Parley)
"You'd think he'd be smarter." - Erin
"Who's your daddy Miss Wentz?" - David
"Papa Wentz." - W
"Oh, ok, now that we have that cleared up..." - David
--Someone opens the door--
"Miss Wentz, you have a visitor." - John
"Go away!" - W
--Door closes without explanation--
(Miss Wentz never saw who it was.)
"And she [Chris H.'s mother] said, 'Is he obsessed [with Wentz]?' Yes! He [Mark] is obsessed, but he has no romantic intentions." - W
"[To David] Where have you been all my life?" - John
"[To David] Stop biting him." - W
"He was biting my elbow. It's OK." - John
"No one's listening to me, but I'm making a point." - W
"Is there like a real-life example, 'cause I'm having a hard time understanding with all these letters and numbers and crap. Like last year, we had flags and sandwiches and is there a real example or...never mind, I'm OK." - Erin
--David coughing--
"Stop!" - W
"Can't a man cough?" - David
"No!" - W
"[Re: Megan L.] She's so immature." - David
"Gee, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you Dave?" - W
"That's true, Richard has me, I did in fact answer the phone with 'What
the...?'" - W
"Hell isn't always a swear word--sometimes it's a noun." - Sarah
"The 'F-Word' is the R-rated swear word." - John
"Only if it's used three or more times." - Kyle
"Go sit down before I..." - W
"I'm modeling a 'buffer.'" - David
"Sit! Sit!" - W, shooing David off her desk
"OK, you win." - David
"I always do." - W
"For those of you who were watching David instead of listening to me..." -
W
--Like, all of us?--
--David crawls on the floor, apparently to get a pencil--
"Trip him!" - Sarah
"Say I was at Macey's, in aisle 15, and someone forced me to drink Draino..."
- John
"...Held him down, and forced him to...with a funnel." - David
"...could I run to aisle 4 and drink Lemon Juice to counteract it?" - John
"You know, you guys sure are in the way a lot..." - W
--Substitute reads notes Miss Wentz left--
"Guys, um...I will read the instructions...uh...'These are AP Chemistry classes--motivated
students, good workers..'"
--Class laughs--
"'Since I had no idea I wasn't going to be there, I don't have a lesson, but'
um, 'they'll be busy all hour. 24 to 30 on your homework are now free game...Please
tell them they need to work, we can't lose a day...No, they cannot go take
care of such-and-such...No, Mark and Chris cannot go update their website...'"
- Sub
--Class laughs--
"Crap, how did she know?" - Mark
"I was about to ask that, too!" - Chris
--Erin and Mysha come in around 9:55 AM--
"Is Miss Wentz here?" - Erin
"No." - Chris
"What did we even do today?" - Mysha
"We have to do numbers 24 to 30 of the free response, and it's due on Monday."
- Mark
"Well, I wasn't here! I don't know that!" - Mysha
--Mysha, Erin, make speedy exit--
I know that you'll appreciate my evil humor and the fact that "I always win" by adding this "quote" for me.
--Wentz logs on and takes a screen capture of the quotes from the day so that she can use them as evidence when she demands homework FINISHED, ON TIME from all of the above students.--
--Morgan walks in--
"Morgan came to my surprise birthday party." - Sarah
"How come I wasn't invited?" - Kyle
"Why didn't I know?" - Dustin
"I didn't plan it!" - Sarah
"[Re: W] Who's your daddy?" - David
"We've been over that." - Mark
"I have his number..." - John
"Let me give you his office number so you can get counseling." - W
(Papa Wentz is a Psychiatrist.)
--Later--
"Who's your daddy?" - David
"What if you didn't know...?" - Erin
"Don't get him started." - W
"And this is the thing where everybody gets it wrong..." - W
"It was like, 10:00 at night, and I was like, 'I need ice cream and popcorn.'" - W
"Earlier in the day, I was like, 'Let me get some scissors' and I put down my cell phone, and walked over and then came back and was like, 'That wasn't necessary.'" - W
"It was like 10:00 at night, and I was driving with my sunglasses on so I wouldn't die from the headlights." - W
"I'm thinkin' 'A' is pretty easy, and I'm feeling good about myself." -
W
"And then you get to 'B'." - Mark and David together
"And then there's part 'D' which is there to make your life joyful. So on an AP test, even if the rest of the problem sucks rocks, you should read all of it, because 'D' was not intended to be difficult." - W
"Remember a long time ago when you used to pay attention and be quiet?"
- W
"When was that?" - Sarah
"All I've ever known was a lie!" - David
"All of us are suffering because of David and John." - Sarah
"I agree." - W
"Part 'E' should bring joy to your hearts also." - W
"Ah, crap." - David
"Sarah, you're holding the rest of us back. Would you be quiet?" - John
"Was that enlightening?" - W
"I hate how it's easy. Why is that?" - David
"I'll try to make it harder next time." - W
"Where's my lip gloss? I think that's the important question." - W
"(Singing) 'Without you, Niagara Falls is just a leaky faucet' Miss Wentz.'" - John
"If we always say that Sodium and Chlorine are 'losers,' is there like a
'pimp daddy' of all...'cause I wanna' be that." - Chris
"Well, there's Sulfide and Lead that basically precipitate with everything,
but if you are looking for the 'pimp daddiest...'" - W
"I'm gonna' get fired." - W
"I've been funny?" - Sarah
"I don't think Mark learns anything because all he takes notes on is what we say." - Sarah
"Is it warm in here?" - W
"I'm pretty hot." - David
"Megan?!" - David
"Flat out called me an 'A-hole.'" - John
"Is there anything else on the assignment that was supposed to be done today?"
- W
"Um, anything that we haven't done yet." - Parley
"I'm going to leave for 5 minutes. You're going to figure it out on your
own." - W
"Do you want me to lead the discussion on the board?" - David
"Sure." - W
"OK, so you have some stuff and some stuff and some other stuff..." - David
"Miss Wentz! You're back! You left us with that." - John pointing at David
"Isn't that against our constitutional rights or something?" - John
"You're minors. You don't have rights." - W
"Please don't shake your bottom when you write." - John to David
"We seem to be having a challenge." - W
"[Re: Quote from 27 January] Parley, I'm really sorry." - Erin
"I think you're a butt." - David
"Wouldn't you rather have Miss Wentz teach than David?" - Chris
"Yes." - All
"Let's take a vote on it." - John
"I thought I was listening..." - Erin
"You thought you were listening?" - W
"Could you get any more jollies out of that? It's pretty cool. Isn't it
splendid?" - W
"I'm splendid." - Nate
"Miss Wentz, what up dude?" - David
"Knock it off." - W
"Miss Wentz you have two minutes left to do whatever you were going to do this whole hour. Let's go." - David
"I want you all to have a personal goal to get through chapter 14 next time." - W
"[Re: Channel One] I hate all the anti-drug commercials. They tick me off." - Mark
"Alright kids, this is gonna' be an all-time record. Eighteen." - W
"Eighteen pills at once?" - J
"Once upon a time there was Ksp, and it was charming." - W
"Ahem. Without the talking." - W
"Who's your daddy?" - David
"Dave, that question's getting old." - W
"[Re: precipitates]...more like the color of the shower." - W
"I shower sometimes." - David
"Bend the rules a little...everybody's doing it." - W
"Separation of Church and State!" - John
"Peer pressure!" - David
"'Everybody's doing it' is not about Church." - W
"You said the 'C' word!" - John
"Pervert." - David
"Let's move on." - John
"Ooh, let's do these some more." - David
"[Re: War protest song] Some of you would object to some of the words."
- W
"But I bet you like them, huh?" - John
"And then there's Nathan..." - W
"I'm sorry Miss Wentz. I got yelled at by a teacher yesterday, and I had
a bad day..." - Erin
"Are you gettin' this? She's apologizing for being noisy, while being noisy."
- W
"Does this have a specific spot on the little organizer?" - Erin
--Wentz ignores her--
"How do you know that?" - Sarah
"Because I'm Parley." - Parley
"Because it's printed on the outline." - W
"I want you to be quiet. Parley." - W
"Did you see that? It wasn't even me this time." - John
"It's kinda' nice, isn't it?" - David
"You should try it more often." - W
"You wouldn't want to, but you could if you had to...especially if you had
a graphing calculator and a lot of time on your hands." - W
"Which we won't on the AP test, and we don't today." - David
"Everyone's goal in life is equilibrium." - W
"Ohhhh..." - Nathan
"[Loudly] Psst. Pass this up to Sarah. Don't let Miss Wentz see." - David
"A few of the little Lead Chlorides would jump ship." - W
"I would too if I were a Lead Chloride." - Kyle
"Did you just say the 'S' word?" - John
"No John." - W
"It's a 'chunk', so you know it's solid. You can't have a 'chunk' of liquid." - Erin
"Meanwhile, I already know ('cause Miss Wentz told me before,) that..." - W
"I'm going to write stuff. If you don't want to know, don't look." - W
"I'm getting a little nervous...it's so quiet." - Sarah
"Now that you beat that to death, let's move on to number two." -
David
"[Under his breath] It's only 'mostly dead...'" - David
"So check it..." - W
"We had some of this, and some of this, and TWO 'somes' of this..." - W
"Is that 'jivey'?" - W
"Get offended, why don't you?" - W to David
--Miss Wentz moves from behind front desk to the top of a lab table, and
sits cross-legged--
--Annie moves around Chris accordingly to avoid being seen--
"Are we done with this outline? Can we talk? I think my vocal chords are going to forget how to work." - John
"Why don't we try just solving for 'F' straight up?" - W
"Hey Parley, what up dude?" - John
"Parley's the man." - W
"Wait, I thought the bell was supposed to ring...what joy is mine!" - W
"Stop making gross noises." - W to John and David
"John!" - Erin
"Stop it!" - Sarah
"Boys..." - W
"'Cause Parley was right..." - W
"Parley, what up dude?" - John
"...since the entire blue thing is due next time." - W
"You smell bad." - David
--Bell (finally) Rings--
"I think that having lunch right now is screwed up." - W
"We have to be good today." - Mark
"John's not here, so that should be pretty easy." - David
"[Re: David] So we're half there." - Dustin
--New Seating Chart--
"How on earth did Sarah and Erin end up together?" - W
"We're going to move on, and I'll rearrange you as I see fit." - W
"[Re: John] Where's your accomplice?" - W to David
"Don't believe stuff David says, because he's full of it." - W
"I just talk in general, not only to Sarah." - Erin
"And by the way, Miss J. wants us all to know there are 13 mondays left in school." - W
--Wentz is writing on the board--
"What is that?" - Nathan
"It's a 'times,' as in 'times-ten-to-the.'" - W
"This is meant to be a scribble, and not an 'e.'" - W
--Later--
"What is that?" - Erin
"It's a scribble. It means 'some,' and we don't care, 'cause it's a solid."
- W
"It'll save you a lot of heartbreak and anguish, especially over gas problems." - W
"And then it said, 'blah blah blah...'" - W
"This is something that I want you to focus on, and get a 'vibe' for." - W
"Wow, that's what fun is." - W
"Could you solve that? Yeah. Would it be a pain in the butt? Yeah. So here's what we're going to do instead." - W
"Check this action out." - W
"Oh, it's a solid! I don't care!" - W
"I'd like you all to observe that today, I'm drinking water. Yesterday, I only had one can of Pepsi. 'I'm takin' the baby steps, I'm doin' the work.'" - W
"Math works! Aaaah! It just makes me happy." - W
"When it does, doesn't it just give you a warm, happy feeling?" - W
"Sarah, oh my gosh. You. Me. Out in the hall after class." - David
"You'll remember it longer if you to it yourself." - David to Erin
"What if I just want to learn and forget? Sorry." - Erin to David,
then Wentz
"Stop." - W
--She stops--
"She actually stopped." - David
"I practiced last night." - Erin
"I feel Dalton's law coming on!" - W
"I'm sure that you're all adjusting to this equilibrium-filled world." - W
"So, symbolically..." - W
"Separation of Church and State!" - David
"I'm not even writing that down." - Mark
"Oooh. Harsh." - Erin
"I'd also like to observe...David. Kyle." - W
"We weren't even talking!" - David
"You were looking at eachother instead of me." - W
"Why is there crusty stuff inside my calculator where my battery was?" - Sarah
"So, you lose 'x' here and here...I mean gain. Sorry. I'm a loser." - W
"I'm going to just wait for a moment now." - W
"It would be so sucky." - W
"Pretty much. It would 'suck rocks,' to put it in your words." -
David to Wentz
"Can I just ask a..." - Nathan
--Wentz continues her lecture--
"Nope." - Erin
"No, no. Kyle, you're the man." - David
"Let's decode this question..." - W
"Do you dig it?" - W
"Did you observe the beauty with which that was stated?" - W
"Yeah. Brown-nose much, Erin?" - W
"Erin, shhhh." - Sarah
"I just shouldn't talk anymore." - Erin
"I'm all over that." - W
"One time, I wasn't here, and I got marked here on PowerSchool." - Parley
"Why does Parley have to be so smart?" - Sarah
"Because he has a big head. We've been over this." - Erin
"I used to sit right behind him..." - David
"I'm going to move on now, even though some of you are still solving PV=nRT." - W
"I want focus now." - W
"We will totally go over equilibrium when the end draws nigh-er." - W
"Fun will be had by all." - W
"Parley, do you still have a question?" - W
"Yeah. Was Chapter 12 due last term? 'Cause if it was, I did it. But
if it was this term, I didn't." - Parley
"Mysha [B-1] had a dream that we didn't have a test on this, and she jumped up and hugged me. And then, when we didn't, she said 'Can I hug you?'" - W
"OK, noisy girls." - W to Erin and Sarah
--Student announcements come on, complete with 80s music videos adveritsing
tonight's Stag Dance--
"[Re: 80s] Those were the days." - W
"For those of you who were in my class last year, Sarah Dalton got engaged."
- Sarah
"Oh my gosh, she moves fast." - Mark
"Are you suprised? We should have taken a pool for how long she'd last.
I bet most would have guessed by the end of her freshman year." - W
"I would have guessed by the end of the first semester." - Mark
"Yesterday, some of the little 'Chem Ones' and I had a little discussion about ice." - W
"[Re: Expansion] John has a really good line." - David
"It's probably too late. No, it's alright. I was just going to say that
that must be why I'm so big, because I'm so hot." - John
"I hate this seating chart! I hate this class!" - David
"I had a dream I drank Draino." - John
"With a funnel?" - Nathan
"[Re: Blood Drive] Erin passed out yesterday." - W
"Can I tell my story?" - Erin
"Isn't that enough?" - W
"Any other announcements?" - W
"I had a dream I drank Draino." - John
"John dreamt he drank Draino in aisle 12 with a funnel. Anything else?"
- W
"[Re: q=mcΔT] What does the 'm' stand for?" - W
"Manliness." - Erin
"We know what Erin's thinking about." - Mark
"Not you. I'm sorry." - Erin to Mark
"No, it's OK. That was good." - Mark
"Don't apologize!" - W
"Maybe 'cause when you're a lonley 'Chem One,' 'q' looks cuter." - W
"You get all frantic, like 'John...'" - David
"That's 'cause John's psycho." - W
"Say I had a cup..." - W
"Here [on the outline] it says a 'coffee-cup,' and I don't approve of
coffee." - David
"Say I had a can..." - W
"'Cause I'm easily distracted, David." - W
"Smell that? It smells like Cheerios." - David
"It smells like burnt popcorn." - Parley
"Oh, well I can't smell, 'cause I'm sick." - David
"Everybody. Shhh." - W
"I'm assuming you can slap a sign change on that..." - W
"Or if you're Dustin, you can scribble all over and..." - John
"No making fun of Dustin unless he's here." - Erin
"Just for the sake of--John." - W
"You can do it with a coffee cup." - W
"Styrofoam cup." - John
"For those of you who came to the gold-plating penny thing..."
- W
"All four of us." - David
"The last hour class had problems with that, but you can do it, it just seems a little funky." - W
"Those crazy atomic tweezers, they're amazing!" - W
"Someone at Frito-Lay is locked in a room with a Bomb Calorimeter, buring Cheetos." - W
--Quote Omitted--
"You'd have to find out what they were in the beginning." - W
"Separation of Church and State!" - John
"Genesis 19:23." - David
"'Cause 'c' looks so different when it's lowercase as opposed to uppercase. That's way smart." - W
"John, David. No. No." - W
"Why don't you solve roman numeral IV?" - W
--All of the following are in WarCraft II style--
"OK." - David
"What hold. We're ready master. Who summoned me?" - John
"Zug zug." - David
"John, you're on my bad list." - W
"He's always on your bad list." - Sarah
"The real question is, 'Where did all that Methane come from?'"
- David
"Someone has a gas problem." - John
"Boys, go out in the hall, and close the door behind you. Now. I'll let
you know when I'm in the mood to let you back in." - W
"[Re: Chapter 8 outline] I have a problem with the word 'or.' I always type 'of' instead. I'm disabled that way." - W
--Parley goes to the door to let in the "noisy boys."--
--They say, "Wait a minute, bro. We're almost done out here."--
--In a few minutes, they come back in with Kit-Kats from Sue and Glenna--
"This is where the 'Chem Ones' have problems. You can in fact have water at -10°C." - W
"For now, I'm just going to give up, and say, 'If you knew it, you could multiply!'" - W
"If I took some really cold water, like -20°C -- it can exist at -20°C..." - W
"Here's another astonishing moment! You can have gas hotter than 100°C." - W
--Quote Omitted--
"Hi." - W
"Who are you saying 'hi' to?" - Erin
"I'm just looking for a response." - W
"Ohhh." "Yes." "Sure." "Right." -
Class
--On Channel One, there is a story about how Russia now supports France and
Germany, who do not support the U.S.--
[Re: Channel One] Wouldn't it be great if everyone attacked us? We're
all gonna' die." - W
"Did you see me bite John's head?" - Richard
"I'm shutting up now. You can continue--or start I guess." - Mark to W
"Would you like it to be observed by the quote meister that David just
spent the last five minutes looking at John's legs?" - W to David
"You guys are just, reaching for that rainbow." - Erin
--David shows Wentz his MORP pictures--
"Can you see my bicep?" - David
"Where? Are you flexing?" - W
"Yeah, you just can't see it under my shirt." - David
"It's common among soccer players." - Parley
"I'm a 'buffer.'" - David
--Overhead's projection is on the ceiling--
"Can you lower it just a little?" - Sarah
"You guys are so picky." - W
"It's a ratio problem. Oh how I love them...Let me count the ways."
- W
--David starts singing a love song--
"No. No-no. No love." - W
"How splendid! Do you love ratios? Do they not give you a warm, happy
feeling inside?" - W
"No." - Nathan
"Um..." - Kyle
"Not really." - Erin
"I remember yesterday--well, kind of yesterday--last time we were here..." - W
"Was that fabulous? That was so fabulous, I don't even know how to deal with it." - W
"Did we ever figure out where to look that up?" - Chris
"No." - W
"OK." - Chris
"We're not that desperate." - W
"That was inspiring. Who's inspired?" - W
"Separation of Church and State. Inspiration has nothing to do with State."
- John
"You can be inspired in school." - W
"So how about that crazy Hess' Law?" - W
"I hate Hess." - Nathan
"Erin's looking at my legs Miss Wentz." - John
"I can't help it, they're so pasty white." - Erin
"That's a fashion faux pas, John." - David
"You can't wear shorts in the winter." - Sarah
"Sarah, are you listening?" - David
"Not to you." - Sarah
"Could you eat solid oxygen, and like, breathe it?" - John
"OK, noisy girls." - W
"I'm not talking." - Sarah
"I'm sorry Miss Wentz. I can't take this any more. I don't want to learn."
- Erin
"Suppose we had, um...a good example of this...Suppose we had...OK, suppose we had 2Br..." - W
"Hey, here's a fun thing we could try..." - W
"I hate how you think how everything in here's so fun."
- David
"Don't you have any candy or something?" - John
"Candy is not 'fun,' it's just sugar." - W
"It's more fun than this." - Erin
"Whoa. Whoa. That was harsh." - W
"My sunday-school teacher gives us candy every week." - Kyle
--Begin long tangent about church and candy, etc.--
"[Re: Church] Miss Wentz, don't you dare give your two cents to this
conversation." - John
"Suppose you had this reaction...suppose you were quiet, and
we had this reaction..." - W
"Like that would happen." - Sarah
"Make sure you use the right kind of water." - W
--Quote Omitted--
"Just because we look at eachother's legs, and hold hands, and play with
eachother's ears..." - John
"Miss Wentz, I saw that glance! [At John's Leg]" - David
"I was looking at Mark, to see if he was writing this down." - W
"I think that everyone that goes to this site thinks you two are gay,
and you're not doing much to convince them otherwise." - Mark to John
and David
"And they don't care." - Sarah
"[Re: Sarah] 'Cause she's you TA." - John
"Not anymore!" - W
"That's what I got too." - John
"You don't even have your calculator out." - W
"John, why don't you try to solve for this, without me showing you how." - W
--10:12 A.M. - Parley begins to snore softly--
"Can you cross off water?" - Sarah
"No. Water isn't an element." - W
"It's a liquid." - John
--10:14 A.M. - Everyone is quietly trying to solve the problem, the class
is silent--
--Parley wakes up, disoriented and confused - it's too quiet to sleep--
--David gets up from his seat, and walks over to John, passing Miss Wentz
en route--
"Looks like Miss Wentz isn't done yet guys, give her a minute."
- David
"That was fun!" - David
"I like it." - John
"Doesn't it give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside?" - W
"It is slightly warm and fuzzy." - David "Are we sufficiently
'down' with that?" - W
"How far is first period? Are we ahead of them?" - John
"Not quite." - W
"Ugh! I hate first period!" - David
"Don't hate them." - W
"It's like sloppy-joes--stick stuff in the middle, slap the two ends
together, and stuff comes squishing out..." - W
"That was the worst analogy ever." - David
"And I have--believe it or not--a table of this." - W
"What's that in your mouth?" - John
"It's a pipet." - W
"Are there questions on this stuff? 'Cause you didn't seem very intrigued
or inspired by that." - W
"On this crap?" - Sarah
"Can we please not say the 'c' word?" - John
"It's better than the 's' word." - Erin
"I heard Wentz say the 'd' word." - John
"Why? This is stupid." - Sarah
"It's called Chemistry--evil." - Scott B.
"...since I'm crippled!" - Some loud person in the hall
"This is fun, I like this stuff we're doing. We should do this for the rest of the year." - John
"I have no idea what the answer is." - W
"You're way over-time." - David to W
"Well, that period went quick." - Parley
"When you're asleep." - Scott B.
"So, we got further than B-1?" - Nathan
"You got more homework." - W
"Like I've entered anything. Oh what, midterm's tomorrow? Oh well. That would be funny if they printed report cards tomorrow, 'cause all of you have zeros." - W
"Swear! Swear!" - Morgan to Wentz
"She's about to swear. I can see the 'b' word boiling up behind those eyes."
- John
"Did you watch 'Spongebob' on Valentine's Day?" - Nathan
"[Re: Website] Hey Mark, I decided I'm not going to talk, 'cause I don't
want people to think I'm a ditz." - Erin
"That just made the quotes." - Morgan
"[His B-2 teacher] Won't she notice that you're gone?" - W to Morgan
"OK--" - Morgan
"No." - W
"As much as I--" - Morgan
"No." - W
"Do you want me to--" - Morgan
"No." - W
"I want to talk abou--" - Morgan
"No." - W
"Yes, Morgan's story..." - Sarah
"No." - W
"You don't want to hear my story?" - Morgan
"No." - W
"It's a really good story." - Morgan
"No. Go sit back in your corner, where you belong." - W
"Ouch, I bet that hurt." - David
--John and David start singing, hesitate--
"'...I can be whoever I want to be.'" - W
"'...I can be whoever I want to be.'" - David (Singing)
"I forgot my glasses, so I can't see that far." - Morgan
"You don't need to see! Go do your Creative Writing assignments.
Go. Go." - W
--David and John, still singing, hesitate again--
"'...girl men go mad for...'" - W
"'...girl men go mad for, I'm a game I can play...'" - David (Singing)
"'...that I play...'" - W
"'...that I play...'" - David (Singing)
"I know the part where it says, 'I'm the greatest primadonna in Milan.'"
- John
"'...in the land...'" - W
"I'd just like to say, that when David--" - W
"HA! Wait a minute! Wait. Megan has an announcement to make." -
David
"When David says 'he's the greatest primadonna in the land..." -
W
"No I don't." - Megan
"...that's just going a bit too far." - W
"David has an announcement to make for Megan. Uh, Miss Wentz--how
does it go again? 'Primadonna in'--what?" - David
"It's 'the land.'" - W
"Oh, what is it Megan?" - David
"It's Milan." - Megan
"Ahhhoohhh!" - David
"I got it right! Miss Wentz was wrong on a song lyric." - John
"Oh my gosh, I'll never recover from that, you know, since you guys totally
die of shame when you get your lyrics wrong." - W
"Every single time..." - John
"You think you're sooo good--" - David
"'Cause you were wrong every single time." - W
"We need about five more minutes of randomness--" - Erin
"No. I'm pretty sure that we don't need anymore talking. So unless someone
is going to be useful, and ask a real question, we're going to move on."
- W
"Let's just move on." - David
"Yeah, and then when I ask a real question, you yell at me."
- Sarah
"It's 'cause you're the greatest Primadonna in 'the land'." - Morgan
"Morgan, shhh. Do you want me to call Nancy?" - W to Morgan
"Nancy?" - David
"However, we had a big discussion last night about calling our elders
'Mrs. Williams' and so forth, so I think you should call her 'Mrs. Williams.'"
- Morgan
"OK, I'll talk to your dad." - W
"So then we talked about how to address elders, shaking hands, introducing
people, opening doors for people with canes...So, I don't care if you call
my mother, as long as you don't call her Nancy." - Morgan
"I've decided to call your dad instead, because I think he could..."
"True, but as long as you don't call him Bart, or he might..." -
Morgan
"Erin, why are you laughing?" - Sarah
"Oh wait, 'cause she's giddy, and laughs the whole time that she's not
apologizing." - W
"That's not funny." - Erin
--We do some work--
"Morgan, go be part of your own class." - W
"Where is he supposed to be, anyway? He's always in here." - Erin
"He has Sculpture B-1, and right now," - Mark
"Actually, Electronics." - Morgan
"Yeah, he has Creative Writing fourth." - Mark
"How do you know his schedule?" - Sarah
"Why do you know his schedule?" - W
"'Cause those are all the classes that I skip to come in here."
- Morgan
"Yeah, we get quotes by him from those periods, and then find out where
he was supposed to be." - Mark
"Like in Creative Writing, I actually have a 66 in there, and it's causing
some problems at home with my parents which, as we all know..." - Morgan
--Quote Omitted--
"If you do work on the system, then it's positive. If the system
did work, then it's negative." - W
--Explanation by Wentz on work in systems--
"Morgan escorted me home on Friday." - Erin
"See, we in Physics, we had 'Hulky and Bulky,' and we named Erin after
Hulky, and it was good." - Morgan
"And Mysha's Bulgy." - Erin
"Why?" - W
"'Cause Hulky won the contest at the UPS loading dock." - Morgan
"See Erin, what you don't know is that Greg followed you too, and he
was like, 'She's not going home, where's she going?'" - Mark
"Oh my gosh!" - Erin
"You want to explain? Everybody knows." - W
"No." - Erin
"Everybody knows." - W
"He told everybody at my house, but--" - Erin
"Everybody knows. There's like no one in the building that doesn't know."
- W
"I don't know." - David
"I wanna' hear it." - Kyle
"Erin, tell me." - David
"Erin, your secret's safe, 'cause he didn't follow you all the way."
- Mark
"You're just going to put it on your Internet site, right?" - Erin
"No, at least not the one people can access." - Mark
--More explaining of work in systems--
"How do you feel about that?" - W
"I just have one question." - Morgan
"What?" - W
"Is dissipated energy, is the opposite of that work? Or is it like, a--"
- Morgan
"Why does Morgan care?" - John
"Is Morgan even taking Chemistry?" - Stacie
"He did last year." - Mark
"Does Morgan live here?" - Sarah
"I have a pup-tent back there." - Morgan, pointing.
"Why was Greg following me home?" - Erin
"'Cause he was on his way home anyway. When you get to...the corner..."
- Mark
"Whatever didn't..." - W
"...he turns left..." - Mark
"...do useful work." - W
"...and--" - Mark
"Mark?" - W
"Yeah?" - Mark
"...must have been heat, and vice versa." - W
"It must have been." - Mark
--More Teaching, Erin talking--
"Erin, shut up." - W
"Oh, wow." - Sarah
--More teaching--
"Does this relate to our everyday life?" - Erin
"[Whispers] Erin." - David
"What?" - Erin
"...then that means at constant volume, David can't do any work."
- W
"Why do you single me out?" - David
"'Cause you're talking!" - John and W
"Guys!" - Sarah
"I was just explaining to Erin how none of this applies to our lives."
- David
"Well, then I can't relate to it." - Erin
"This relates to your car, Erin. If you want to be able to drive anywhere,
you have to believe in work that a gas can do." - W
"I just put in the key and go, I don't really have to believe in--"
- Erin
"Erin!" - Sarah
"Morgan, if you're just going to sit there doing nothing, while we're
working, you're..." - David
--Quote Omitted--
"Can we move on, I mean, listen to these guys!" - John
"OK, I can learn now, 'cause my five minutes is gone. I'm good."
- Erin
"Then prove it." - W
--More teaching about work--
"If I take this equation, and plug in the fact that work equals zero,
then what does ΔE equal?" - W
"'p.'" - Mark and John
"'ΔH.'" - Nathan
"'q.'" - W and Morgan
--More teaching--
--Nathan sits on lab table nearest the front, his legs hanging over the edge,
banging on the cupboard door--
"Stop." - Sarah
--Nathan laughs--
"Which would mean, if you had a problem that said, 'blahty blah, the
change in energy blahty blah in a rigid container,'...oohwuhooh." - W
"Oohwuhooh." - David mimicking W
--Almost 3 minutes of uniterrupted teaching--
"If you're not in Physics, then you couldn't care less." - W
"I'm in Physics." - Mark
"And you couldn't care less?" - Chris
"Yep." - Mark
--After lenghty and arduous mathmatical conversions, equivalence, etc.--
"You don't need to know that derivation, I just thought it was fun."
- W
"Can I just make an interesting moment?" - Sarah
"Yeah." - W
"I just think it's weird that Morgan's paying attention--he's not even
in this class." - Sarah
"I like to work, that's why I'm here." - Morgan
"Then why aren't you in your class?" - Sarah, accusingly
"If I was enrolled in this class, then I would feel obligated to do some
work, which I would never end up doing, and I would fail." - Morgan,
defensively
"No, why aren't you in your class where you're supposed to be in, where
you could study?" - Sarah
"Because last time, they spent a half hour explaining the difference
between inversely and directly proportional, and I almost..." - Morgan
--Quote Omitted--
"That sounds like fun." - Sarah
"...?" - Mark and Erin (Quote Omitted)
"No." - Sarah
"Ohh, brain waves." - Erin
"I know." - Mark
"Weird. K, keep going" - Sarah
--Tons of individual conversations, people singing things from, "The
Music Man," which was on TV on Sunday--
"[Re: The lab table next to her] Who writes on here?" - Sarah
"Everyone." - W
--Some uniterrupted teaching, Parley's been sleeping for some time--
"OK, wasn't that fun?!" - W
"No!" - David
"Yes." - Sarah
"OK, check this action out. You're gonna' love this, no seriously. Number
58, and I'm not kidding about loving it." - W
"Can I make another comment while you're erasing?" - Sarah
"I guess so." - W
"You know how I asked you what these things were, on this, [points to
vibrator from most recent outline] pen-men guy? I went to my friend's grandma's
house, over the weekend, and..." - Sarah
"...she had one!" - W and Sarah
"See?" - W
"And they're so fun, but I don't think they would ever work." -
Sarah
"Yeah, I don't think it works either, but it's sort of entertaining."
- W
"Can I have one of those things?[an outline]" - Morgan
--Wentz hands him one--
"One that's not written on?" - Morgan
"Here. Go." - W
--How to do number 58--
"There you go. Don't you just love these problems already?" - W
"I love these problems already!" - John
"Was that 58?" - Nathan
"Yeah, that was 58a right there baby. Whoo!" - W
--Teaching Moments--
--Megan is singing Music Man music now--
"Megan, stop." - W
"I watched that on Sunday." - Sarah
"Is it better with Matthew Broderick?" - Mark
"I don't know, I've never seen it before." - Sarah
"Really? I really liked the old one. You can't improve on the original."
- Mark
"What?" - Nathan
"The Music Man." - Mark
"We recorded it." - Nathan
--More learning--
"Questions on that?" - W
"Yeah, what do we put on number 3?" - Sarah (Blank on outline)
"Yeah, I don't know what I was going to put there." - W
"Great, now we're going to miss something for the AP test, we're never
gonna' learn it, and we'll all get worse scores for it." - David
"Dave, try to have a positive outlook." - Kyle
"Kyle, what up dude." - David
"Don't." - Morgan
"Morgan doesn't appreciate that as much as some." - David
"I don't appreciate it as much as some." - W
Well, you see, I have this problem...contrary to popular belief, I do have a life other than this website, and I really didn't have the time to type up an entire transcript of last time's class. I had good intentions to do so, but then I went to class today, and it was much funnier, and I was going to write it by hand--go back to the old-fashioned way--but then it was moving too fast, and I had to tape over the class from last time. After that, I don't think I will return to the audio-recorded method. It is far too time-consuming, and produces less desired effects as far as coherence goes, etc. So, in conclusion, I'm a spaz. ~Mark
Another crazy day in which I did not write things down, but tape
recorded them.
If I feel like it, I may make a copy of the tape available for download, or
purchase--unless you annoy me about it, electronically or in person.
Editor's note after the fact: Um, I don't think so.
--Quote Omitted--
"Hey Miss Wentz, how was your weekend?" - Nathan
"Well, it's nine o'clock on a Monday morning, and I'm drinking already, [holds
up Diet Pepsi Twist] what does that tell you?" - W
"I'd like to point out that 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12...twelve out of twenty-three of you are not here." - W
"Since when did I care? You're obviously confused." - W
"Burning paper is in fact exothermic. I know that suprises you. You
know, you thought that when you burned paper, it got colder in the room."
- W
--David hums softly--
"David's singing church songs." - John
"Am not." - David
"'It's Secret Garden.'" - Sarah
"Why do the Chem Ones move the desks?" - David
"Because they're dumb." - W
"I'd just like to say that I hate 'The Great Gatsby.' Hate Gatsby. Hate
Gatsby." - W
"I hate 'Pride and Prejudice.'" - Erin
"Oh my gosh, Erin's on the bad list forever." - W
"Oh, I hate 'Pride and Prejudice!' They don't even kiss for the whole
movie until the very end." - John
"And then, she sucks on his chin." - David
"It's gross." - John
--David makes sucking noises--
--Mysha walks in from Birrell's class to borrow a meter stick--
"Please don't sit on the desk, it makes my head explode." - W
--Quote Omitted--
"I hate this class." - David
"You don't hate it. You want to hate it." - W
"Why don't I have your phone number Miss Wentz?" - Kyle
"I have it. I'll hook you up." - Erin
"Oh my heck! It's ***-****, ok?" - W
--Quote omitted--
--Quote omitted--
--Quote omitted--
--Quote omitted--
"Am I just dumb again, or what?" - John
"You're just dumb again." - Sarah
"Let's turn this in and move on before I have a psychotic episode."
- W
"You keep gettin' that wrong. Knock it off!" - W
"Go home and read it Dave." - W
"I don't want to go home and read it, but I'll do anything for you."
- David
"I'll do anything..." - David (singing)
--John joins in--
"...for you dear, anything..." - David and John (singing)
"OK, we're moving on...don't eat your pencils." - W
--There's a slightly balding middle-aged man, gray hair, about 6 feet tall,
wearing a blue suit coat with gold buttons, and khaki pants roaming the halls.
He has been all period.--
"Say you had a little tiny 'atomic hammer'..." - W
"[Re: Pottery] John can't get in trouble in that class, 'cause
he's only been three times." - W
--Mysha walks in to return the meter stick. After hearing some of the things
John shared with the class from their study group last night, she says:
"John, you use everything I say. You're like a sponge."
and walks out.--
--John comes in riding an electric wheelchair, (he trashed his knee in Ward
Basketball)--
"My knee hurts." - John
"You know what John? I don't give a crap about your condition."
- W
"My knee hurts." - John
"We're gonna' do some Chemistry now. I know it's gonna' come as
a shock to all of you." - W
"Kyle's touching my butt." - John
"I would appreciate it if none of you would touch each other's bottoms."
- W
"Wentz, do you have some candy? The doctor said that the more candy
I eat, the better off I'll be." - John
"My knee hurts." - John
--John needs his pencil sharpened, David offers to do it for him--
"Your pencil sharpener 'sucks rocks' Miss Wentz." - David
"Maybe you're the one that sucks rocks." - W
"At least I don't think I'm bad." - David
"Oh, you so do." - W
"My knee hurts." - John
"Miss Wentz, all this screaming puts undue stress on my knee." -
John
"In case you missed the first five times I said it, I don't give a crap
about your knee." - W
"My knee hurts." - John
"John, if you weren't so pathetic and silly, I might feel sorry for you."
- W
"Maybe that was a sign, Stacie, that you should put that away and pay
attention." - W
"Not while Erin was talking to Sarah, but the rest of the time--"
- W
"I'm sorry Miss Wentz." - Erin
"--we noticed that..." - W
"Mark, stop talking." - W
"I was trying to help Chris on this blue outline." - Mark
"Don't help Chris." - W
"John, how's the knee holding up?" - David
"It's still hurtin'." - John
--Wentz gives David evil glare--
"Just checkin' up on my buddy." - David
"No. Don't do that." - W
"[Re: Elements] They like each other, kinda' like Dave likes Kim..."
- W
"My knee hurts." - John
"I don't give a crap." - W
"Sarah took my paper Miss Wentz." - John
"Good." - W
"Oh my gosh, I wanna'..." - Sarah [Edited]
"Don't say that Sarah." - David
"Well, I do." - Sarah
"Cool Miss Wentz. Don't make fun of me." - David
"I wasn't making fun of you. I'm saving that for John."
- W
"And then I turned my page and looked a Liquid-Vapor Equillibrium instead
of Penmen." - W
"My knee hurts." - John
"I don't care." - W
"John, how you doin' over there? Can I get you anything?
Water? Cookies? Tea and Ice?" - David
"Uh, Miss Wentz? I got game. I made the shot when I hurt
my knee." - John
"My knee really hurts." - John
"My knee hurts." - John
"I don't give a crap." - W
"One of these days, I'm gonna' give you a crap." - David
"Hey, way cool Parley. You're the man." - David
--On the subject of why liquid oxygen must be kept below 85°F (it explodes)--
"Yeah. Your granny's gonna' have shrapnel in her butt." -
W
"Yeah, she wouldn't be able to give a crap then, huh?" - David
"My knee is seizing up." - John
"I don't give a crap." - W
"Do we need to massage it like the therapist showed us?" - David
"It needs to go on a ride out in the hall." - John
--Erin passes a note that says that at 10:15, we're all gonna' start screaming--
--Wentz notices immediately, and figures out what's going on--
--Kyle brings the note back up to Erin after it has made the rounds--
"Gimme the note." - W
"Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!" - John
--David and Kyle destroy the evidence--
"I know what's going on. I'm the one that told you that story."
- W
10:15 a.m.--We all start screaming anyway
"Hey Parley, you're a butt." - John
"I think it's better when I say it." - Erin
"What about in Physics?" - David
"Physics is dumb." - W
"You're dumb." - David
"Hey look, there's more Penmen!" - John, after turning the page
"Hey look, there's more Chemistry." - W
"Dave, we're not gonna' finish this outline. You're so far behind
Mysha." - W
"Ooh. I'm scared. I don't care." - David
"I need to drive around a little to get my blood flowing." - John
"I'm gonna' need one of those [outlines.]" - John
"You're gonna' need a lot of things." - W
"Miss Wentz, how was your weekend?" - David
"Not long enough. It has something to do with having to see you
again." - W
"My knee is feeling better Miss Wentz." - John
"I don't give a crap, John. Have you forgotten so quickly? We went throught
this last class period." - W
"John and I spent the weekend together Miss Wentz." - David
"Oh wow. That's startling to me. I never would have guessed." - W
"You didn't invite me." - Kyle
"Yeah, we did. You had to work, you fathead." - David
"Yeah, but you didn't invite me." - Dustin
"Yeah, how come you didn't invite Dustin?" - Kyle
"[Re: the test] Are we grading our own?" - Chris
"Yeah, so we can learn and grow." - Mark
"Can we cheat too?" - Kyle
"No. But thanks for the offer." - W
--After correcting some multiple choice--
"Let's just stop now and assume that eveyone that got those three right
got the whole rest of the test right." - David
"You know, if you guys would be quiet, this would be a lot easier."
- W
"Never wear open-toed shoes in the lab." - W
"You don't wear shoes at all." - John
"I do when we do labs." - W
"Liar." - David
"I keep a pair here just so I have them for labs." - W
--[9:18 a.m.] John is eating his lunch--
"John. It's second hour." - W
"You're making me hungry." - Erin
--Quote Omitted--
--Quote Omitted--
--Quote Omitted--
--In a vain attempt to quell the masses, Wentz empties her water bottle "all
over the classroom" (actually just on John)--
--David rushes over, grabbing the paper towels en route to help John dry off.
He dabs at John's face, and wipes off his desk (and test)--
"My test won't come off my desk." - John (it was stuck to it by water)
--Erin and Sarah are talking animatedly--
"Oh, they're reaching for the rainbow!" - John, in reference to Erin's
earlier remarks
"Everyone in this class is reaching for the rainbow!" - W
"Well, I'm not wiping her face, or holding her hand, or biting
her ear..." - Erin
"A valid point. Let's move on, shall we?" - David
"[Re: the test] I'm gonna' fail, this is cool." - Erin
--Kyle and David embrace--
"[Re: Kyle, David and John] You're all reaching for that rainbow
hand-in-hand." - Sarah
"I might as well reach for the rainbow, I don't have anything else to reach
for." - Kyle
"Now, this is the time that we move on." - W
"This is the time that tries men's souls." - John
"This is the time that tries my soul." - W
"I would sure love it if you guys were quiet." - W
--John and David are singing Billy Joel songs--
"Don't sing anymore. Ever." - W to David and John
"I'm glad there's so much love in this classroom." - W
"You should probably listen, because this is a problem that will be on
your test." - W
"This is on our test." - David
"On your other test. [the AP one]" - W
--John and Kyle are talking--
"I'm really sorry about them." - David
"So am I." - W
--During a vain attempt to try to teach--
"And I wasn't talking about having a little discussion with your neighbors."
- W, directed at Chris
"Because you're always obnoxious." - W to John
"You're obnoxious." - David to Wentz
"Shut up!" - Wentz
"Don't say the 's' word." - David
"Don't say anything." - W
--During group presentations, Sarah attempts to sabotage the presentation of
whomever sabotaged hers. She altered John's, but it was David who messed with
Sarah's. Of course all of this came to light during class...--
"OK, immature girls, and immature boys..." - W
"Well that narrows it down." - Mark
"Shutting up would be good." - W
"[Re: test score totals] Make sure you add them up right. I don't want
to have to go back and re-score it, as I've done in the past. Let's try some
honesty for a change." - W
"You know what I would be glad of? If you were quiet a little bit more."
- W
"Use the crutches John. That's what they're for." - W
"I couldn't fit through the desks." - J
--Quote Omitted--
"Miss Wentz, when I'm breathing hard, my heart hurts. Is
that bad?" - Kyle
"No, that's fabulous." - W
"There's no romance in my life, just obsession." - Erin
"If I go crazy, will you still call me superman?" - W
"John, thanks for being quiet." - W
"Miss Wentz, right now, am I on the good list?" - John
"Right now, John is on the good list, but most people aren't." - W
"Did you just glare at me?" - Sarah
"No, I was glaring at Erin." - W
"Oh, OK, then..." - Sarah
--Like unto John and the water last time, Erin annoys Miss Wentz, and Wentz
throws water on her--
--Later--"I have water in my ear." - Erin
"I could be a good aide, if she'd let me." - Nathan
"Sarah's talking, Miss Wentz!" - John
"I know." - W
"Oh." - John
"There's penmen." - John
"There's always penmen." - Sarah
"I like this one." - Nate
"Do you have to act so excited about everything? It's
not like Chemistry's fun." - David
"Whoa. Whoa, whoa." - W
"I know, that was uncalled for." - David
"Easy with the water there." - David to W
"Don't you have three cases of Pepsi in your car?" - Chris
"I do in fact have three cases of Pepsi in my car right now." - Wentz
"I'm drinking a much higher water to Pepsi ratio than I used to be. I was doing very well until you drove me to drink it (Pepsi) the other day." - W
--John whacks himself on the head with his Chemistry textbook--
"John, don't do that. You need all the brain cells you have."
- W
"Here's something I'm going to say that I actually want you to listen to." - W
--Quote Omitted--
"Yes it so is, you losers." - W
"Aw, blast. My shoulders are too broad. Blast
my shoulders." - David (Trying to fit between desks)
"Oh yeah, since you're such a manly man." - W
--Erin touches John so he can feel how cold her hands are--
"Erin needs some gloves or something." - John
"My hands are cold." - Erin
"Why don't you just hold hands with Sarah? She had her legs on you."
- David
"I didn't nibble her ear..." - Erin
"There was no nibbling involved." - David
"He was playing with it." - John
"Then there was 'f', which stood for..." - W
"Freak-daddy? -pause- That's not what it stands for?" - David
"Faraday." - W
"I thought she was gonna' swear." - John
"Much as I'd like to..." - W
"That blows, right there." - David
"Well, we can spend time after class if you want to." - W
"I don't want to." - David
"Do we have to go straight into it?" - David
"Class started five minutes ago Dave." - W
"Can I like, lay on the floor?" - Erin
"No." - W
"Why do you say useless information?" - David
"Because she knows it." - Chris
--Quote Omitted--
"Looks like I'm on the teacher's good side <sigh>." - David
"Is Dave on your good side?" - John to Wentz
--Wentz ignores John and David, and continues to teach--
--Erin moves to the lab table behind Nathan and lays down--
"Mark!" - W
"What? Parley asked me a question, and I had to gratify him with a response."
- Mark
"Stop it!" - W
"But--" - Mark
"Stop it!" - W
"Parley, you always get me in trouble. You're such a butt." - Mark
"This is dumb...whatever." - David
"It doesn't matter!" - David
"Yes it does!" - W
"We don't care!" - David
"Yes we do!" - W
--Quote Omitted--
"Does anyone have problems with that algebra?" - W
"I did algebra like, way back in eighth grade." - David
--Erin wakes up, immediately starts talking--
"OK, we're going to ignore Erin, because if we talk to her, she'll talk
back." - W
"You know...'cause I'm stupid." - W
"Yeah, you are." - David
"You know, why do you have to be so condescending all the time?" -
John to David
"''Welcome to the real world' she said to me, condescendingly...'"
- David (singing)
"'...take a seat. Take your life...'" - John (continuing the song)
"'...plot it out in black and white...'" - Mark and David (singing)
"Lithium is a 'craptastic' oxidizing agent." - W
"Inhaling this would pretty much take out your esophagus." - W
"So, I'm not going to give you any examples, 'cause I don't think you have
the attention span for that anyway." - W
"Thank you." - Nathan
--Channel One starts, Wentz continues teaching, but David watches the TV--
"Hey France, why don't you just go kill yourself?" - David
"I'm glad there's so much love in this room...it's disturbing." -
W
"We don't talk about Chemistry, Miss Wentz, that doesn't get the ladies."
- David
"I'd also like to point out for those of you that are going to whine in
the future..." - W
"[Re: Seminary March Madness, 2002] Quite frankly, they let you win."
- Mark to John and David
"Quite frankly, you're going to get a zero on this quiz." - W
"The quiet kind of quiet where you don't talk." - W
"Oh, is that what quiet means?" - Chris
"Not usually in this class." - W
"Oooh. 'Not usually in this class.'" - John, mocking W
"John, grow up." - Mysha
"I'm all out of gas masks." - W, who was using 12 Molar HCl anyway
"It has a significantly low pH, that's actually negative." - W
"Whoa, so, can it eat through your face?" - David
"Yes, it can eat through your face." - W
"[Re: the quiz] I think that number nineteen 'sucks butt.'" - Kyle
"Also, the Tazmanian Devil is pulling the hair out of my arm, and it hurts."
- W, about a Band-Aid
--Sarah shares a story about dancing during the intemission of the play--
"[Re: "I'm Too Sexy"] You were dancing to that song?" -
David to Sarah
"Are you, or are you not, on Seminary Council?" - John
"I'm so glad that we're having such an educational day so far." -
W
"You didn't hear it, 'cause you were staring at the goo. Put it on my desk."
- W
"I didn't say that! You guys are so full of crap. I'll make sure you get
a zero on this." - W to John and David
--The class is whistling "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"--
"You almost smiled Miss Wentz. Don't smile. Don't smile." - David
--Quote Omitted--
--The class is singing "Seize the Day" from "the Newsies"--
--People in the halls look into our classroom--
"The best part is that Miss Wentz was singing too." - Sarah, laughing
"If you can't beat 'em..." - W
--Discussion about mosquitoes, and bites. Takes about 7 minutes--
"I swear..." - W, under her breath
"She just swore!" - David
"Do you really want to taunt me right now?" - W to David
"Oh, she's got the 6 Molar.[HCl]" - John
--W spills some HCl on her desk--
"Oh! Your desk is smoking!" - John
"Who's smoking?" - Kyle
"Dave is." - W at the same time that David says: "Miss Wentz
is."
--Quote Omitted--
"John, if you're trying to beg for justification, I have the general idea
that you're full of it." - W
"Are you talking still?" - W
"Yes, I'm--no, I'm not going to apologize. I'll leave that to Erin."
- John
"I'm starting to collect things to throw at you, John." - W
"I think Dave's power hungry." - W
"Oh, I'm not power hungry <flexes>." - David
"I'm so full." - John
"As your grade drops through the bottom of the 'f-block.'" - W to
David
"Hey Dave, that's the r-rated block." - Kyle
"[Re: G.P.A.] Did your parents beat you because you had a 1.3?" -
W to John
"I would rather thwart you." - W
"You don't like us any more?" - John
--At 10:00 a.m., we turn on the T.V. per Mr. Starr's instructions to channels
7 or 9 to watch the Governor's address--
"We have a right to say whatever we want without getting in trouble."
- Governor Mike Leavitt
"Not in here." - W
--When it was over, after his conclusion of "Listen to your teachers..."--
"Since the governor said we had to listen to you, do we?" - Kyle to
W
"Yeah. You do." - W
"And it would be a 'scroungetastically' small 'k-value.'" - W
--Quote Omitted--
--Nathan is spinning his ring on the lab table, and it keeps dropping to the
floor--
"Nathan, don't do that any more. Ever." - W
"Can we move on?" - David
"I hope so." - W
"I bet you John will show up right at 10:30." - Stacie
"John sucks." - W
--9:35 a.m. - John finally shows up--
"We we just going to go to get my poem, but then there was some ice cream
in my house, and one thing led to another..." - John
"Morgan has a 3.97 (G.P.A.) right now. Morgan sucks." - W
"[Re: John's poem] This is the biggest brown-nosing crap. It's brown-nosing.
It's crap." - W
"Celcius is dead. Long live the Kelvin." - W
"Chris!" - W
"I'm paying attention." - Chris
"No you weren't." - W
"I am now." - Chris
"I think it's charming." - W
"I hate it." - David
"Dave thinks it's ugly. Dave's being mean to my constant, and calling it
ugly." - W
"'Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly?'" - John
"John would now like to read us a poem." - W
"John is now going to read us the biggest brown-nosing garbage ever."
- W
--Reads the poem--
"That makes me barf." - W
"Eleven unexcused absences, and she gave me an 'A.'" - John
--Channel One time--
"Put down the water!" - W
"You don't have to yell! At everyone! About everything!" - David
"Well, 'cause when I asked you nicely the first time, you ignored me!"
- W
--Quote Omitted--
"David, sit." - W
"Are you going to be nice?" - David
"David, sit." - W
"Only if you're going to be nice." - David
"I don't want to hear anyone's voice. Including David and John, Erin and
Sarah. Nate, sit down." - W
"[Re: 4x4x4 Rubik's] Chris, put down the cube." - W
--Quote Omitted--
"Erin, seriously, don't talk. What part of 'don't talk,' don't you understand?"
- W
--Quote Omitted--
--Jared comes in 15 minutes late, forcing David to move from his seat--
"Oh drat." - David, when he sees Jared
"Don't start talking." - W
"I hate my seat Miss Wentz." - David
"I'm OK with that." - W
"Erin, I don't want to hear sound coming out of you mouth." - W
"I'm sorry." - Erin
"If you were sorry, you would shut up." - W
--Erin continues to talk, of course--
"Go out in the hall." - W
"That makes me want to dance a little." - David
"You know, she's not in trouble like you guys are when you go in the hall,
she's just incapable of being quiet." - W
"Teachers, Earthquake! Earthquake! Earthquake!" - Intercom, (it was
a drill)
"Miss Wentz, I need mouth-to-mouth." - David, puckering and making
smooching noises
--Morgan is sent to 'rescue' Erin from the hall--
--Explaining their plight upon return:--
"'Cause the lady out there got mad at us for standing by a column and doorway."
- Morgan
"We wanted to die together." - Erin
"Miss Wentz, I need mouth-to-mouth." - David, who W hears this time
"You're disgusting." - W
"I told the lady that I'd be safer out there." - Erin
--Earthquake drill ends--
"I'd like to point out that in case you don't know what you're doing, you
pay attention!" - W
"That would be really cool. Almost as cool as John and David in their 'Tommy'
shirts." - W
"Actually, mine's Abercrombie, and I'm layered." - David
"Wentz, we're all in love with you. Why don't you just learn to cope with
it?" - Morgan
"You're sick." - W
"Morgan, this is so much better than electronics, isn't it?" - Erin
--Quote Omitted--
--On the topic of Atomic Bombs, which are actually what we're supposed to be
talking about--
"You know, like C-4 or something 'old-school' like TNT." - W
--Quote Omitted--
--After more questions on Atomic Bombs, Hydrogen Bombs, Dirty Bombs--
"Surprisingly enough, this is not the Lone Peak 'Learn to Build a Bomb'
class." - W
--Quote Omitted--
--Quote Omitted--
--Quote Omitted--
--Knightline News comes on, with a retarded intro that says "This
is Knightline News" over and over, with different people taking part--
"We know! Shut up!" - W
"I'm seriously going to lose it." - W, at the end of class
"Did you really need a yard of paper towels?" - W to Dustin
"He has big hands, Miss Wentz." - David
"John, how's that reaction prediction coming for you? 'Cause from I'm sitting
it doesn't look like you've written anything." - W
--Principal Starr comes in to make a plug for on-line AP Test preparation--
"OK, Miss Wentz is preparing you fabulously for the AP test." - James
E. Starr
"No she's not." - David
"Quiet Dave." - W
"Are you OK? Is there anything I can do for you?" - Jimbo to W
"Yeah, you can take Dave out of class." - W
"Ooh. Take me!" - John
--Mr. Starr leaves--
"Thanks for saying my name to Mr. Starr." - David
"You know what he does when he knows your name? He singles you out."
- Mark
"Or he nominates you for citizen of the month." - Sarah
--Miss Wentz dropped a dry-erase marker cap, but continues to teach. 5 minutes
later...--
--When she asks where it went, David offered to find it for her, and begins
to crawl around on the floor behind W's desk--
"Hey Dave, you need some help?" - John
"I found some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies if that's what you mean."
- David
"That was my breakfast." - W
"Not very healthy." - John
"OK boys. Get off my floor!" - W
"Go team. Take state." - W
"Soccer!" - David
"I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about an academic team."
- W
"She was talking about tennis, even though we're not gonna' take state."
- Kyle
"It's my experience that all of you are mean to eachother a lot, and none
of you are very effected by it." - W
"She wins the butt prize." - Erin
"Hey Miss Wentz, will you go to my tennis match." - Kyle
"She's already going to my soccer game, and she's gonna' wear her gold
hat and give out extra credit." - David
--Not True--
"[Re: The Emperor's New Groove] I haven't seen it." - W
--The class screams like unto 20 February 2003--
--Trevor comes to the Science Hall door, and Erin gets up to let him in--
"Erin, sit." - W
"It's her boyfriend, let her open it." - Sarah
"Can you keep it down? The regular Chemistry class is trying to learn."
- Trevor
"And there are so many disrespectful and annoying people in this class."
- W
--Story Time--
"Who's Le Chatelier?" - Nathan
--Apple Incident--
"And I repeat, for John and David who aren't listening, keep this paper."
- W
"Hey Miss Wentz, talk to the hand." - David
--John singing "Message in a Bottle"--
"John, you got 'Message in a Bottle' stuck in my head, for which I will
never forgive you." - W
--John continuing to sing "Message in a Bottle"--
"I'm so challenged." - W
"Oh my heck David, you're gonna' die." - W
"From what?" - David
"Your're gonna' die from this song." - W
--Now David singing "Message in a Bottle"--
"Oh my gosh. 'Salt Lake to LeGuardia - $203.' Why am I staying here with you?" - W, reading from her computer screen
"I'm in the 'Red Zone' Miss Wentz, I can now wear grey and green shirts with confidence." - David
"Um, Let's not say things if you're going to apologize right after."
W to Erin
"John, you suck. Oh wait, sorry." - W
"This class sucks. Oh, I'm sorry." - W
"Your arrows blow. You can't have triangles." - David to Erin, who was writing on the board
"I want out of here." - Erin
"Is it too late to transfer out of a class? Not that I'm going to..."
- Sarah
"See ya'." - Richard
"Where are you going?" - Mark N.
"I don't know. Enough Chemistry for me today." - Richard
"Dave, your're not the boss of me. Let's do number F." - W
"'F' isn't an number." - Kyle
"I hate this class so much." - John
"You guys are kind of noisy." - W
"John. John. John. I just don't know what to do about you." - W to
John
--David and John start singing "Big John"--
"Shut up. I'm not kidding." -W
"We did it at a review session just recently, but John and Dave were being aggravating." - W
"[Re: "Big John"] I can't believe you guys know all the words
to that song." - W
"I can sing it again if you want." - John
"[Re: Parley's absence] Parley's probably sitting at home in his bed.
- John
"Parley's a butt." - W
"Mysha's dancing behind you." - John to W
--Quote Omitted--
"Why get all of the points when you could get some of the points?" - David
"Shut up!" - W
"Easy Miss Wentz." - David
"Erin. Stop talking." -W
"OK." - Erin (stopping)
"Wow, that was amaizing." - W
"I know. I've been practicing." - Erin
--Andy S. pokes his head in the door--
"Miss Wentz." - Andy S. (lilting)
"You can't just infer things that you don't know." - David to W
"OK, I'll stop trying to infer things that you don't know." - W
"Stop wasting my time and shut up." - W to John
--Some stuff about John and David being gay--
"I'm going to ignore you now so that I don't have an (immolism?)."
- W
"Miss Wentz, was it 'immolism'?" - Mark
"Remember the part where I'm ignoring you?" - W
"No!" - W
"If I was in this class--" - Morgan
"If you were in this class, I would have thrown you out by now." -
W
"You know what I'm going to do to you?" - W to Mark
"Oh, let me guess! You're going to destroy him." - John
"She's not a person that's easy to get close to, trust me guys, there's a wall there." - David about W
"That's what I did! Actually that's a big fat lie." - John
"Do you have a headache Miss Wentz?" - David
"Only when you're here Dave." - W
"Oooh." - John
"I belive that was a slight compliment guys." - David
--Quote Omitted--
"This is pretty much due today, since it's 'due today!'" - W
"How many of you are going to be gone at the stupid foreign language crappy thing?" - W
--Quote Omitted--
"This isn't the 'Everybody Be Quiet Except Erin Show.'" - W
"[Re: Pretending to be gay] John. get back in your closet." - Erin
"Wait, which metals are metalic?" - Chris
--Quote Omitted--
--Quote Omitted--
"Megan, nobody cares about track." - David
--David throws a pen at W--
"That wasn't supposed to hit your face." - David to W
"It's all fun and games till you poke my eye out." - W
"I'm so cool." - Sarah
"You've got one hour of my time." - David
"You've wasted many hours of my time." - W
"I hate this class." - Sarah
"Tell me about it." - W
--Quote Omitted--
--Quote Omitted--
"David's smelling Megan." - John
"This should be 'dang and a half easy.'" - W
--Quote Omitted--
"No, but this is my class, so I can pretty much have an attitude about
whatever you say." - W to David
"Miss Wentz, I can be your hero. Let me be your hero." - John
"Jam that to yourself at bedtime." - W
"And then there's part 'c' which you probably want to know how to do right."
- W
"Actually, I skipped it." - Chris
"I don't sleep in class, I listen while my eyes are closed." - David
"Sorry!" - Erin
"I'm sorry." - Erin
"Participation is like the p-block. You can get 1, 0, or -1." - John
"[Re: Mr. Campbell's Counseling Office] I went down there, and I was
like, 'I need counseling.'
And he was like, 'Um, that's not exactly what we're here for.'
And I said, 'I don't care.'" - W - During lunch, 12 February 2003
"Sitting on a lab table is a bad idea." - W
"Why?" - Mark
"'Cause Miss Wentz takes naps on them, that's why it's a bad
idea." - Morgan - During lunch, 13 February 2003
"Picture...wow. I need a white board..." - W - On the phone
for study group assistance, 3 March 2003
"Morgan the jerk rears his ugly head again." - W
"I prefer to think of it as 'Morgan the guy who likes to have fun, and
therefore likes to be mean to people and mess with their minds." - Morgan
- During lunch, 5 March 2003
"Miss Wentz, make Mark be quiet." - Morgan
"If only that were possible." - W - Lunch, 11 March 2003
--Quote Omitted-- Lunch, 11 March 2003
"I love making stray, sexist comments-it's so much fun." - Morgan
- Lunch, 11 March 2003
"Trapezoid! 87 degrees!" - W, frustrated by the design for the Chemistry
sweatshirts (earlier this year)
"Your p-block is losing energy. It's degenerate." - W to John and
David
