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Boston English

By: Dana Lynn Wilson

"Aftah the Bawhston Tea Potty, the Waw of Independence stotted and Ameriker was Bawn."

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    Pleashaw – state or feeling of being pleased. “I don’t remembah our being introduced, but it’s a pleashaw to meet yuh.”

    Moa – the opposite of less and rhymes with boa. “Foa moa, please?”

    Bawn – brought forth by birth. “Being bawn in Bawhston isn’t a mattah of life and death. It’s moa impawtant.”

    Pock – to place a vehicle in a stationary position. “What do yuh mean I can’t triple-pock my cah? This is Bawhston isn’t it?”

    Shut – a garment for the upper torso, typically with sleeves and collar. “This shut hahse bean in the family for generations.”

    Ouwah – a unit of sixty minutes of time. “I’ve bean waiting an ouwah for yuh.”

    Goggle – mouthwash. “A salt wotta goggle is excellent for a soa throat.”

    Otter – a command. “Yuh bettah follow the doctah’s otters.”

    Motch – to walk to a military cadence. “History outside of Bawhston? The Minutemen didn’t motch on Broadway, did they?”

    Awnt – the wife of an uncle. “My awnt’s a Cabot. Who’s yuhr’s?”

    Lodge – the opposite of small. “Ah yuh referring to my feet as lodge?”

    Impawtant – significant, noteworthy. “Of course, Benjamin Franklin was an impawtant man. He was bawn in Bawhston.”

    Waw – a conflict carried on by force of arms. “The Waw of Independence was stotted by the Stamp Act.”

    Shock – a large, ferocious marine fish. “Ah, ha, ha, ha! Yuh cahn’t get a shock in fresh wotta.”

    Awt – the quality, production, or expression according to aesthetic principles of what is beautiful. “I’ve hud theyah’s places called awt museums outside of Bawhston. But do they hahve awt?”

    Bach – the sound a dog makes. “That dog’s bach is awful.”

    Pawn – the abbreviation for obscene literature. “We don’t ban pawn in Bawhston. We civilize it.”

    Shop – shrewd, astute. “If yuh’re so shop, wheyah’s yuhr school tie?”

    Weathuh – the state of the atmosphere defined by temperature, moisture, wind velocity, and pressure. “The weathuh? Now theyah’s a stimulating topic.”

    Gull – a young female. “They didn’t allow gulls in Hahvod in my day!”

    Cod – a small, flat piece of stiff paperboard for playing bridge and other games. “I sawr that cod up yuhr sleeve.”

    Alahm – a call to arms or warning of danger. “And then Paul Revere rode out to sound the alahm.”

    Faughty – the number between 39 and 41. “Well discuss promotions when yuh’re faughty.”

    Such – to make a probe or careful investigation. “Such the records. My ancestahs didn’t just sail on the Mayflowah. They built it.”

    Sauce – one that supplies information. “This awticle doesn’t identify its sauces.”

    Cuber – the Caribbean island ruled by Fidel Castro. “Havanner. Yuh know, on the seashaw of Cuber.”

    Hod – difficult. “Yes, it’s hod to know if the streets or the buildings came fust in Bawhston. But anyone who was bawn heyah knows.”

    Cawn – a tall cereal grass with kernels on large ears. “No doubt the Pilgrims wuhdah stahved without cawn.”

    Caught – the room in which trials are held. “So what, if the judge’s caught is without heating and lights. It has an historic plaque!”

    Cotton – a cardboard box. “Oh, I nevah throw out an egg cotton. They may be valuable someday.”

    Cuppachowdah – a creamy stew of clams, potatoes, and onions served in a cup. “I ottered crackuhs with my cuppachowdah.”

    Hot – the muscular organ that pumps blood. “Mothah, don’t break my hot! Everyone else approves of her.”

    Alogy – hypersensitive reaction to the environment. “Achoo! It’s my alogy again.”

    Sot – a type or class of similar persons or things. “My fathuh was the sot who nevah drank.”

    Draw – a compartment in a chest for sorting clothes. “That smotts. Yuh closed the draw on my fingah.”

    Altah – to change. “Altah Bawhston? Nevah!”

    Fauce – to impose an action through power or strength. “When it comes to membahship, we prefer our own sot at the Union Club. Yuh cahn’t faucet.”

    Potty – the Bawhston Tea Potty was a wawning to the British.”

    Dock – the opposite of light. “The lantons of the old Nawth Church bunned in the dock to alert the Minutemen.”

    Hahbuh – a port for sheltering ships and boats. “I know yuh’ve a yawht ankodd in Bawhston Hahbuh. But is it a Twelve-Meter?”

    Drawering – a sketch made with pencil, pen, or crayon. “Eighteenth-century drawerings? Ahn’t they a bit nouveau for our awt museum?”

    Kneelee – almost. “Yuh kneelee shotchanged me a nickel!”

    Dot – a small, slender missile, usually feathered at one end and pointed at the other. “Aim the dots at the dotbawd.”

    Sutton – definite, indisputable. “Oh, I’m sutton Abagail mayreed John Adams in the Weymouth Meeting House. My great-great-great grandfathuh was theyah.”

    Flaw – the surface of the room on which one stands. “I cahn covah any flaw with a rug.”

    Propuh – correct. “Is Bawhston the only place in Ameriker wheyah propuh English is spoken?”

    Tot – a small fruit-filled pie without an upper crust. “May I recommend my tots for breakfast?”


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