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or, the hiring of John the Profane and an army of dancing badgers

before the badgers earned accessories

Soon they were recruiting new members to their list of loyal minions... some of whom who were more than willing to go the distance to see the fledgling dictatorship succeed...

Nick: speaking of John, he will be my privateer... his ship shall be named.... the ARRRRR!!!!!!... we will go on lavishish cruises
Val: lavishish?
Nick: yes, like lavish, but only slightly
Val: John accepts his new positoin
Nick: sweet. with Badgers and John the Profane, no one will DARE challenge me
Val: John already has a fleet in the works and says his ship is at your command
John: I can call in favors with Capitan Pico de Gallo, of the dread ship El Pollo Diablo...and the all-female crew of the PMS Scallyrag owes me a favor from the time I served as their cabana boy...just remember the motto of my fleet: Ita Devexus Quando Hic Adveni
Val: what does that mean?
John: It was sinking when i got there

They began to put the word out even more and soon the responses were pouring in. It seems everyone they knew could see the brilliance behind their plans. Several were upset that they were not included from the beginning, but these problems were soon rectified...

Natalie: BOOOOOOOOOOO on the ValNick project!!! I am the ony one without a job! soooo very sad. Here's me flinging Portabellas at you!!

**UPDATE** Natalie has since been made Lady of the Portabellas and shall rule over all aspects of said mushroom type.

Lauren: MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!!!! Val I miss you soooo much!! I want to be part of the big operation! Can i can i can i? ::Jumps up and down . . . like a badger::

Lauren uses her mushroom cap to ponder what she will stick into Galatea's Pants

Lauren has henceforth become the first and only member of the Mushroom Cap Club. The hat's fungal powers increase her brain activity while forever bonding her to the ValNick Project. Her badger dance has both impressed and entertained Nick while earning her the duties of mushroom care and publishing continued Pant's for the population.

Others were not so easily convinced that their plan would work...

Kate: That is some crazy shite. It's like mushrooms, you know, the portabella kind.

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