Ah, the many batmobiles and millenium falcons of That '70s Show. This here's a little history of the best lookin cars in the whole state! No, the whole country! .......No... :)
The Vista Cruiser | THE Batmobile
"Piece of crap? That's a vista cruiser! You could literally.....cruuuiiise the vistas!" -Red
The Vista Cruiser was the only source of transportation, aside from their parents, for the gang in the beginning. Everyone was psyched for Eric getting a car, but not as much as Eric himself was.
Eric - "I can't stop thinking about you. I've known you practically my whole life. I want you. I want you so bad!"
Eric refers to it as his "batmobille" and he takes all his pride in that car, he even argued with Hyde over which was the better car, the Cruiser or the Camino. Even though "the cruisers a boat", it's ERIC'S boat.
Kelso - "Hey, Jackie's good for gas money..."
Red is always on Eric about rotating tires and not using cheap gas, and even though it's Eric's car, Red is still pretty much in charge, as usual. It's always a downer when Eric pulls a dumbass and Red takes his keys away. Because as we all know, without his batmobile he's just a "guy in a silly outfit."
The Cruiser has been around for many moments, mainly Donna and Eric moments. That car has seen so many of their firsts in particular: first KISS, first MAKEOUT, first BRA HANDLING, first TODD RUNGREN CONCERT! And even though the cruiser IS a boat, things just wouldn't seem right if that old car wasn't parked in the Forman driveway.
The Toyota, The Corvette, & The Motorcycle
Kitty - "Why don't you just park the corvette in the garage?"
The Formans have had a few cars along the way. The Toyota or "the Foreign car" was there for the first season and slowly faded away from existence. Getting the Toyota because of the gas crisis left the Vista Cruiser to Eric so it still made somewhat of an impact. The most memorable moments involving that car would have to be from "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" where the toyota is constantly criticized by Red's mother.
The Corvette is Red's baby. He is very protective over it because he "waited 20 years to get that car" because of the kids. He had his eye on it when he and Bob went to look for a car after Bob became rich again. When he saw that Bob was after his corvette, he bought it from under him, surprising Bob when he saw it sitting in the Forman garage.
Since then, Eric had his experiences with the car when he took it without permission. Of course even with Red's traps *a single hair over the ignition* Red was oblivious, but as soon as he let Eric turn on the car and the radio popped on, a foot in the ass was necessary. The sentence was reduced from a month because of Red's pride for his car (knowing that Eric wanted it to impress a girl). Of course it went back to two weeks when Hyde announced that "Eric drank all of Red's beer." As of late the corvette is no longer a part of the Forman family.
"You know what's funny. This morning, when we thought you were still pregnant....I sold the corvette."
The motorcycle was introduced when Red wanted to treat himself to something special on his first paycheck. Kitty was reluctant at first because she wanted them to save up for the kids' college funds, but after a spin with Red, she wanted to keep "her hog."
Red - "Alright, fun's fun, let's take it back."
The Van | The Love Bus
Kelso - "Isn't there a law to protect the rights of a man and his van?"
Kelso and his van....Kelso acquired his first van from his uncle. Crappy as it was, it was Kelso's pride and joy. This van went to Vanstock, became a constant place of hooking up with Laurie, took Jackie to the Ms. Dairy Princess Pageant, and eventually fell through the ice at the Ice Shack and all was lost. Where would Kelso do it with Jackie now?
Alas, WFPP decides to hold a contest to win a van. Up against the infamous "Daniel" who always wins the radio station contests, it's Jackie's annoying little self that causes Kelso to win the contest.
Kelso - "If this van's a rockin...then we're in there doin it!"
The new "Love Bus" has also had it's moments with the gang: It brought Kelso & Donna to California, it carried "the bowl for the stinky", it was there the night the gang toilet papered the music teacher's house, the bumper was yanked off in attempt to get the High Street sign for Hyde's birthday, and Eric & Donna had "the most romantic night of their lives" snuggling in the van.
The El Camino
"It's an EL CAMINO! That's spanish for THE CAMINO!" -Kelso
The Camino first belonged to Leo, who found out it was there after attempting to clean out his garage. At first Kelso was going to get the car because he didn't have his van anymore. After making a deal with Leo for $500, Leo tells Kelso that he couldn't possibly sell the camino because he was going to give it to his son before his wife left him. Kelso understands until Leo says that Hyde is getting the Camino.
Kelso - "What about all that stuff with your son!"
Ever since, Hyde has had the El Camino, which has many fond moments of it's own: the tail light was broken because of Big Rhonda, Fez backed into a couple of boxes causing Leo to break his arm, Kelso's bare ass made it's imprint.....ok, maybe more mishaps then fond memories, but memories none the less.
Donna - "...Eric...it's a car."
Hyde - "I heard there's this car and it runs on water! It's got 3 fiberglass engines and it runs on water, man!"
Fez - "...so it IS a boat!"
Red - "...because if I do that, I can't see it from the dinner table! Kitty, don't give advice about things you don't understand!"
Kitty - "Okay...I'm the crazy one."
Kitty - "No. I want to keep it."
Red - "But Kitty. What about the things you said about the kids?"
Kitty - "Screw the damn kids."
Hyde - "You mean the ManVan Act of 1857?"
Jackie - "Michael!"
Kelso - "Oh, sorry...Doin it with Jackie Burkhardt!"
Leo - "Hyde's family, man. He's like the son I never had."
Kelso - "...You just said you had a son!"
Leo - "Yeah, and Hyde's the son I never had!"