Because of the huge scale of publicity Geometrygate is getting, I fear that one topic that is very important too me will be forgotten, so I'm writing about it now.

The school newspaper, or the "T-----eer", has become a complete and total embarrassment to the entire school district. If an outsider got ahold of the Trojaneer, it would be reason enough for Center Grove to fall into the ranks of a Martinsville or Greenwood when it comes to ridicule.

Let's start with the positives of the paper: (for legal purposes I'll use imaginary names) Brew Dillesein, and Cavid Dharles. These cats can usually make an article interesting no matter how gay the topic is.

Now to the negatives: the rest of the paper. Starting with the front page, most articles involve nothing of intrest, and are poorly written. This is a direct result of the gayness of the staff.

BO: Just look at this kid's picture in the paper. If I said I didn't want to slap the shit out of him, I'd be lying. His articles normally involve school events that nobody has heard of or gives three drops of monkey piss to read about. This writer speculates that he and a certain overweight, male choir member with glasses and dark hair may have a closet sexual relationship due to his continued coverage of show choir.

Kudos and Kritiscms: Where in the blue hell does this kid come up with these things? James Dean? How could James Dean possibly remotely relate to anything of any importance? Easily, EASILY, the dumbest thing I've ever seen published. Along with that, the rest of the column contains gay-ass inside jokes among the newspaper staff.

LA: Wow. Where do I start? I say the funniest thing about these opinion articles are how each and every one of them say it's OK to be overweight. I wonder why that's written; not that this writer has a weight problem. Typical show choir girl here. She's always right, and there's nothing the reader can do about it. Luckly for the rest of the staff and school, the editor always writes at the bottom of the column, "These thoughts and feelings do not represent that of the Trojaneer." I'd sure as hell hope not.

Now, for the part of the paper that angers me every time I think about it, the Sports page. I'd compare the turnaround from last year's excellent staff to this year's completely awful staff. Not one person has any knowledge at all of anything relating to any sports. The sports editor's only background in sports is his experience on the cross-country team, therefore there is always an article on the track or cross country teams. Some of the Special Ed kids could write a better sports article than the sophomore girl on the staff, so she just sticks with writing about girls swimming. The senior band member who writes thinks he knows so much about sports, yet he knows nothing. His quotes include: "Peja Stojakovic and Jason Richardson are no-name NBA players." In the most recent article, he wrote about Barry Bonds, then started writing about chalupas. If someone could brief me on how to assassinate this kid without being caught, please contact me. Finally, when doing their picks of the months, they choose some pointless game or match that nobody cares enough to see if they're correct. This is because if they actually pick a game of importance, their true knowledge of sports would become evident, therefore destroying their cover.

Hopefully, next year, with the additions of Papage Gray Player and myself, the misguided Trojaneer can return to the greatness it once experienced.

The views expressed in the srticle do not necessarilty represt those of CGTimes, or anyone in thier right mind for that manner.... just kidding