After the last day of school, I invite anyone who is "hungry" (aka the munchies) to meet at #1 wok at 3:45 p.m. This will allow plenty of time for any after-school activities you wish to participate in.....hope to see you there!!!
Response to "Alocoholics"
To the writer of the story "Alcoholics" All I have to say is: you have WAY TO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS! Why concern yourself with what our peers/friends do with their free time! Sure, those people may drink, but in what way does it effect you and your life? All it does is able you to E'ss drop in EVERYONE'S conversation, making everyone's business yours! And as far as the Jr. guys using them for ass.... How would you know? Do you even hang out with them? OH I FORGOT.. you just assume that, RIGHT? Maybe, just maybe they do! But that's their own PERSONAL PROBLEM! And heres a question for you: HOW DO YOU KNOW EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF WHAT WENT ON AND WHAT WAS SAID if you wer! en't there? Sounds like a fun SAT. night, sitting at home writing to a school web site! I don't know about you but I would rather be drinking having a good time
Closing thought: Even if its your own chip and your own dip, does that make it right to double dip? The world may never know. Another respose to "Alcoholics"
To who ever wrote the lies about sophomores being acholic's or should I say
the stupid bitch with the f***ed up face.
You need to mind your own damn buisness. Not only do you have NO idea what
was goin' on that nite but you try to make it seem like you you're the
innocent one in all this. You are just pissed you aren't ever invited to the
parties. And you NEVER will be. But just for the record and I no that you
have heard this so many times before and why wouldn't you because everybody
hates you..but watch your back. It wasn't to start to mess with us now was it
bitch becca stop running your stupid pimply MOUTH! eat a fat one becca!!!! NO BODY LIKES YOU Ladies, ladies, please don't start a catfight or anything.... unless you call me first.
Could it be? You guessed it, Someone else writing about "Alcoholics"
To the author of "THE ALCOHOLICS" (aka-a pimply, uglier than my dog, make up face) well that was quite an intereseting story u made up there about the sophomore girls, becuz it really wasn't true-i mean ur just jealous that u don't hang out with them becuz they are cool and u are NOT-and u know that they know who u are so u better just watch ur back, and oh yeah we really think that you need to buy some Clearsil, i mean really if u can't afford we will buy it for u! Have a great day! and oh yeah i agree with that letter from the person who said that we would all appreciate it if someone less retarded wrote these articles!
Calculator Freaks Attention Center Grovers-
There have been some things rumored about two certain CG students that may have received their "jollies" from their TI-86's. Now, these two particular students sit in my math class, with one hand in their pants and the other, violently punching the sticky buttons of their calculators. Both of these students are very proud of the tricks that they can perform with their calculators; they often shout these "short-cuts" out in class, while the entire class just kind of sits there in agony of wanting to jump out of their seats and beat them like 4-year olds in K-mart. On one occasion in particular, I was conversing with the teacher, when suddenly, out of nowhere, one of these students had jumped into our conversation and exclaimed, "I am really beginning to like my calculator...." After he had said this, as he was walking back to his seat, I strongly believe that he whispered, "....in bed!" under his breath. Now, the relationship between this poor child and his calculator is beyo! nd me, but I would not put it past him that he does indeed have sexual tendencies to hump his TI-86.
The other student seems to be a little more quiet and not very outspoken of his "sexy" calculator. But this student and I do not get along very well, all b/c of one day when he claimed that I had "hit" him with a nickel that I was playing with. But, in actuality, I flicked it, and I think it hit the ground and rolled into his shoe. Upon being strucked with this nickel, he stepped out into the hallway and threw it. Needless to say, I was infuriated, but I decided to let this incident pass b/c as I looked into his eyes, I was suddenly reminded of my childhood, when I had owned a slightly retarded duckling. I had mixed feelings about this duck; there was the feeling of wanting to put it out of its misery so that the other little ducks could no longer make fun of it, but then, there was the feeling of pity. I chose pity of course, and blew it off. We have not been on good terms since that fateful day in the math hallway.
Now don't get me wrong CG; I do not intend to insult their intelligence of being able to go above and beyond the intentions of the Instruments of Texas, but rather, I condemn them, for the social skills, or lack thereof.
In conclusion, I suggest that these two young souls of CG would only have sexual relations with a female, if they were the last two people on Earth...................and there were no sheep...........or calculators The same author later writes This just in: The dark-haired, plump showchoir boy with glasses does, in fact, like boys. The only object I was ever in love with was a Britney Spears poster, but I don't like to talk about that. To the Writer of "Alcohalics" I think I speak for everyone when I ask that someone who is not completely
retarded to rewrite this letter. No one knows what the hell you are talking
about and you made no sense. Give it another try buddy. Make some sense
this time jackass. While you may be slightly over-critical, you have a good point. About "Alcohalics" i would like to thank the editor of the cg times for posting such a great story about girls who think they're cool.. especially a few sophomore girls at steak n shake. The truth must hurt that they're only used for ass, but it gives some of us people with REAL lives a certain joy to know that all that make up was for good use.. i would like to thank the junior guys for ridding us sophomores of their presense and congratulate them on all the ass they get... again i love the articles... Thank you and you're welcome, but I would like to point out that I did not write the article to which you refer, and, in fact, don't even know who it is talking about. However, I can say that it is sad when girls think that guys actually like them when they are really being used for ass. That's not to say I wish girls actually had self-respect though.
Kind Words for "Roncalli Kid" I would just like to give the "Roncalli Kid" some credit for finding a nearly
infinite number of ways to combine the words: gay, ass, fag, mother fucker,
son of a bitch, and his numerous ways of spelling "hoe". And I would like to
further congratulate him on being named the "Southside Badass of the Week" All good points. I think we should all give "Roncalli Kid" a hand.... or at least a foot..... in the ass.
Alcoholics
ahemmm....well, you might have seen them walking through the hallways at center grove...but do not fear. These "hallway walkers" are, or seem to be completely sane, with it, mentally stable, and even professional pschyciatrists have examined them thoroughly to determine that they seem to be okay. Although this appears comforting, beware they have a problem......its called smirnoff sober phobia. Tonight, Saturday, May the 11th, of 2002 a certain incident occured on state road 135 at steak n shake in Greenwood. It has been stated that the alcholics (who at the time were intoxicated after fleeing from a so-called Fiesta at the J---- D----- residency) had a few friendly altered words with some fellow classmates of theirs. It has been reported that as two girls were leaving the steak n shake their attention was demanded by some stumbling, dizzy, bloated alcoholics who just cannot believe somebody would actually tell the truth at center grove. They expected them to tell people they were sober, nice, polite, well mannered, unexposed, wholesome christians, at all times which seems to be the custom around center grove, rumors. Well to finish off this pleasant evening i believe words such as "oh my gosh u are such a ....." "mind your own...." "stay the....out of my life" and was backed with "back up off..." you think you're a bad...." and so forth...well u get the point, these sophomore girls who also by the way think they can get us handsome junior guys when really all we use them for is ass and smirnoff thats why we get them wasted in the first place, will never recover from this wretched night when their lifestyle were revealed to the entire steak n shake audience. By the way i was not present, but i am a badA and know everything that goes on. Have a nice evening and watch out for these dangerous people with the deadly disease known as smirnoff sober phobia. Later.
Ass good.
It Has to Stop
After much light has been shed on the growing population of bad asses, one certain bad ass has taken over.
You probably already know whom I speak of. If not, three simple words may help you out:
"LO FO SHO"
Yes, you did just read that. Those very words have been printed on the rear bumper of a certain red Potiac Firebird. Believe it or not, a caucasion does indeed drive the vehicle.
Not only has this kid become well-known already for his parking lot antics including peeling out, taking laps, blaring his factory system, and making wise-ass remarks at kids who are walking into school, but he has now sought the attention of every person in the school.
Some students have already began plotting against him. One kid said that he plans on covering up the "Lo" with "Gay", therefore making the writing say "Gay Fo Sho." How clever. Other students have plotted a more drastic approach. Another kid, who has already been searching for a handgun, says that once the bad ass reaches a high speed in the parking lot, he plans on shooting out his tires, causing a major accident.
Yet others have suggested a more safer approach of protest by saying they plan on pissing on the vehicle, or even taking a shit on it. Both of these ideas are stongly supported by this writer.
With any luck for the underclassman, this kid will somehow put together enough C-9 credits to graduate after this year, ending his tenure as Public Bad Ass Number One. Although I am not as upset as this person, I do think it would be hilarious if someone's car got pissed on. Pee is funny.
Nostalgic CG Student Yearns For the Past Trojaneer: It's just not the Same
Well, I gotta admit that, while it pales in comparison to previous school-related entertainment/news sites, I applaud your efforts on keeping an open forum for us students. We can only hope that unlike the ill-fated CGUnderground of past years, this site will walk the libel tightrope better then its predecessors.
That being said, let's get to the Trojaneer. I haven't seen this big of a step backwards from quality writing since George Lucas decided to write the dialogue for Episode I. Honestly, I could get more information reading patterns in a bowl of alphabet cereal than in every Trojaneer this year combined. So what happenned? Let's take a look back in time, shall we?
A whole year ago, yet it seems like only yesterday, there was a five-man staff with so much sports saavy it would get Rick Riley choked up. Their knowledge of college basketball alone would make Dick Vitalle look like a dumb, bald geyser with alseimers (not that he doesn't already). But this year, come on, no offense, don't go fishing for sports knowledge in a sea of band geeks and bookworms (to those who have just been offended; go finger blast a goat). I could write a better sports article on the state of the NBA if you locked me in a cave with my head buried in the ground for the duration of the playoffs than any current sports writer could if they actually showed some journalistic initiative and did a little sports research instead of making it all up as if no one gives a shit about any of it. Hey, why do you think the section gets two pages instead of one? People care. But not that anyone else on the staff could do a better jo! b. I'd rather see the pages completely blank than read this insult to the world of sports.
Moving on. Ahh, alas, the ill-fated opinion section. Hey, at least they still try to be funny, right? Well, sorry, but last year it actually was funny while at the same time providing razor sharp insights. In fact, one writer in particular made sure that nothing was taken seriously and nothing was sacred (does anyone else remember a whole article devoted to brick walls? Hilarious shit). This year's staff couldn'd get me to raise a chuckle if I had just smoked a pound of Mary Jane stolen from Bob Dylan's private stash. Not only that, I can get opinions from mental patients that carry more weight than any opinion staff writer. Kudos and Kriticisms? How about this? KRITICISM: it sucks. Once again, it is a subpar effort matched against last year's staff.
The current staff is sad, but the saddest part is that we didn't know how good it was in the past when we had it. I personally would rip into the Trojaneer all the time last year, but seeing as how this year's efforts have brought the paper to the height of mediocrity, I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic. Oh well, all good things must come to an end, I guess. Remember when Bevis and Butt-Head was a funny show? Who want's to be a Millionaire used to be hip? Brittney Spears........well, she's always sucked, but you get the point. Even my favoriete show, The Simpsons, is on the decline. Sadly, everyone who made the paper bearable last year is gone, and my only hope for the future is that everything that makes this year's staff make me cringe with ignorance will graduate or die one by one so that there is hope for the future.
--A Nostalgic CG Student
Sure, you have a few good points. I liked the Trojaneer last year, too, but I'm afraid you need to get out of the past and realize that change has to happen eventually. First of all, the sports staff probablt isn't as knowledgable about sports as last year's, but, in my book, some of thier attempt at humor actually work. And about the opinion staff, of which I am a writer. It was funny last year, but we have tried to add some more content and actual opinion this year. Kudos and Kritikisms are normally used to make a point, instead of just be funny. However, although I don't believe I am the funniest man alive, if you read every single article I wrote and didn't laugh, you probably have a sence of humor the equivalent of a moth, but one thing to keep in mind about that is the tight leash that is kept on writers. That's the reason for a website. You can say whatever the hell you want to, so there can be real humor. CGUnderground was a lot funnier than anything in the Trojaneer. And I'm not trying to be as good or better than CGUnderground, I'm just doing my part for the betterment of mankind, or something like that.
Put you chip in your OWN dip & keep it there!