Hello Fans, it's your favorite handsome writer again:

This article is to protest a grave injustice that has occurred at our school.

On the night of Thursday, May 2, four fine-looking gentlement (myself included) set out to welcome the return of Papage Gray Player to school after his 5-day (didn't it seem like 5 years?) suspension.

These boys had spent at least 45 minutes and 5 dollars buying and coming up with the supplies to make paper plates. These very same paper plates said "Welcome Back George" and "George is Back." They were intended to be hung up on telephone poles on Stones Crossing Road, and Morgantown Road.

At about 10:30 p.m. the four boys headed to Stones Crossing Road, right next to Forest Hills. While the "Back" was being stapled onto a telephone pole, one of Johnson County's finest pulled up and the following conversation occurred:

Deputy: You boys alright?
Player: Yes sir, we're just hanging up some plates.

Deputy: Oh, alright.

The cop then pulled away, showing what was going down was well within the code of laws. Meanwhile, the Stones Crossing sector was complete. We then headed towards Morgantown, between the Middle School and the stop sign. These plates, reading "George is Back" were hung without question or problem.

Here is where the travesty lies: the damned administrators I guess did not approve of the "George is Back" plates, and promptly sent either a janitor or a certain parking lot nazi to take them down. The Stones Crossing plates remained (and still do) safe.

What in the hell were they thinking? Does Mr. Kelly (aka Matlock) think he owns Ameritech, IPL, and White River Township? Apparantely so. Fellow students, we must not fear the wrath of Luigi and Matlock. Continued rebellions and protests are needed in order to keep the damn Communisits, or who some call the Assistant Principals, from taking over.

In order to show our will against them, I have a great idea that I think many of you readers may agree with: For the rest of the year, all hot girls should come to school bare-ass naked.