Distribution: The Archive. Force Haven.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. GL does.
Warnings: Not really. It goes from the first movie all the way to the sixth. But nothing spoilery is here, unless you really haven't seen any of the movies.
Pairings: Again, not really. It's more of a hinting at emotions of Ani's side for Obi.
Summary: Ani's reflections over his lifetime.
Author's Note: Wrote this on the spur of the moment, so it isn't polished at all. Has nothing at all to do with my other stories.
When I met him, he became the center of my world, though he knew it not.
I wanted him to be my everything.
I wanted there to be my mother's compassion and Qui-Gon's
belief in me within his heart.
I wanted him to be strong and full of wisdom like Obi-Wan and to trust
and see me like Padme does.
I needed him to slay my fears and guard me from my heedlessness.
I needed him to discipline me firmly, with an authority I would listen
to, yet be gentle with me for all my flaws.
I needed him to be perfect in all ways, to never let me down, and
found him wanting.
I sought perfection in another and thought I had found it.
I sought a mentor in the man who became a friend and lost my true
companion to suspicion.
I sought freedom, not through the rules of the Jedi Codes, but the
limitless possibilities offered me.
Forsaking one, I found myself enslaved in chains of my own making.
Forsaking truth for power, I bought into the lying truths of the one I
believed to be my wise friend.
Forsaking my dreams for an obsession, I lost my freedom in a body of
metal and wires.
In following on master, I destroyed that which I loved most.
In following the promptings of my feelings, I brought about violent
and thorough change to this world.
In following the very impulses I had always been taught not to ignore,
I cursed my people to exile and drowned myself in blood and lies.
Facing him again, I thought I would free myself from that guilt, that
Facing the mirror of my darkness, I needed to destroy that light for I
feared its power revealed the bitter truth to my closed eyes.
Facing the living image of myself in my son's very countenance, I
found myself again, found the strength to let go and become what I
In death, I found him…and found that he was, as he had been in the
beginning, my everything.
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