ARNOLD  TAKES  CHARGE!

Political Commentary from the Reverend Cecil Frederick Murray, Guest Columnist

"Shut the fuck up?" Strong words for a Christian website, but true words. Liberals have ruined California and Arnold is there to represent all godly people by saying, "Shut the fuck up!" to our enemies.  That's right we are through with homos, feminazis, Mexicans, Catholics, Hindoos, Demon-crats, and Nigerian 419 scammers ruining the Golden State.  Now we will use plain King James English to tell them what we really think. No more of this "God loves the sinner by hates the sin" business.  We tried it and it didn't work. Besides it backfired when the notorious flame-monster Sinner-Man78 said, "We love the Christian but hate the Christianity."  When he applied our logic to us we didn't like it.  It sounds just like something the Antichrist will say when he comes for us with his 666 laser tattoo gun. 

In the Bible,  God told the sinners of old what he thought. In the Looper Translation of the Holy Bible,  the esteemed biblical scholar Reverend E. Dwayne Looper brings us a fresh new perspective of what God really said in the original text:

      "Verily I say unto you wicked sinners and drunks, "SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL KILL YOU!!! I'VE HAD IT UP TO GODDAMN HERE (God points to his forehead) WITH YOUR BULLSHIT. STOP IT ALREADY BEFORE I DROWN THE WHOLE FUCKING LOT OF YOU AGAIN!!!"    The Book of Ecclisitesticles 27:9     

Cussing is "cool" for today's Christian. It is now okay to tell it like it is. It is now okay to hate sinners and liberals because God's authority figures such as Rush Limbaugh,  D. James "Dogpuke" " Kennedy, and Randall Terry say it is okay to hate because WE ARE IN A WAR. According to Rush Limbaugh, Liberalism must be destroyed. Ergo, Liberalism can only be destroyed if Liberals are destroyed.  The logic is pure and godly as it is wondrously ejaculated from the mouth of Rush, he who has talent on loan from God in the same way that FoxNews has "Fair and Balanced©" news. 

A WARNING ABOUT FILTHY JOKES

While it is okay for today's Christian to say "FUCK" it is not okay for them TO TELL FILTHY DISGUSTING JOKES!!! One particular filthy joke site is especially evil and you should never go to this site or you will be struck dead by God. Humor is not okay for today's Christian; only hatred is.  Well, on second thought, it is okay for Christians to tell jokes about homos, Jews, Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and colored people -- but only so long as they are "clean" jokes. Here is an example of a clean Christian joke:

                             Six Catholic priests were sitting in a hot tub together when suddenly a condom

                     floated up from underneath the water.  The priests looked at it and one said, 

                     "Okay, who farted?" 

Now see, that is a real knee-slapper that is just guaranteed to draw hearty laughs at your next Bible study or potluck.  Now this next joke is an example of a horrible, bad Christian joke:

Moe: My wife converted me to religion."
Joe: Really?
Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell. 

This joke is bad because it makes a mockery of marriage and family values.  Although Dr. James Dobson has admitted that the divorce rate is higher amongst Christians than non-Christians, this is no reason to make jokes such as the one above which debases marriage. The problem is that if we make marriage jokes then homos will say that we don't take marriage seriously and will ask why they shouldn't be allowed to get married.  Reverend Looper figures that as long as the Christian divorce rate stays under 70%, then we hold the high moral ground against gays.  It is presently at about 55% so we have a cozy 15% moral cushion.