There are alot of quotes here, and perhaps if you read them all at the same time it will detract from there meaning, so I say read them in sections, spread out over time. Not only will it ensure my having someone to talk to when im online, but you will also have something new and worthwhile to read.
Subject: Happiness
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
-Albert Schweitzer
A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.
-Anatole France
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.
-Christopher Morley
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose
-Helen Keller
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.
-Robert Frost
Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.
-Victor Hugo, Les Miserables, 1862
Subject: Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Whatever is in any way beautiful hath its source of beauty in itself, and is complete in itself; praise forms no part of it. So it is none the worse nor the better for being praised.
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
(this one is all too true)
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.
You will find rest from vain fancies if you perform every act in life as though it were your last.
Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.
-The above five quotes, Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Subject: boredom
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
-Ellen Parr
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-George Saunders, last words
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
-H. L. Mencken
Every hero becomes a bore at last.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Subject: random
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
-Doctor Who(good show)
When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.
-Madeleine L'Engle
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
-Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
-A. Sachs
Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
-William Goldman, "The Princess Bride"
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
-Wilson Mizner
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
-Eric Hoffer
Subject: Woody Allen
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
-(above 7) Woody Allen
Subject: Voltaire :)
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.(too true)
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The multitude of books is making us ignorant.
-Voltaire
Subject: God
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-Indian Proverb
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-Peter De Vries
Subject: Friendship
Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.
-Aristotle
Purchase not friends by gifts; when thou ceasest to give, such will cease to love.
-Thomas Fuller
Subject: Laughter
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-Agnes Repplier
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
-Ed Howe
Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.
-Elsa Maxwell
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
-Lord Byron
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
-Michael Pritchard
however,
Beware of too much laughter(hard to do), for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion.(hard to do)
-The Talmud
Subject: Lies
A liar should have a good memory.
-Marcus Fabius Quintilianus
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
-Jerome K. Jerome (practice makes perfect)
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
-Samuel Butler
Truly, to tell lies is not honorable;
but when the truth entails tremendous ruin,
To speak dishonorably is pardonable.
-Sophocles
but alas:
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
-Plato
Subject: Life
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
-Ben Stein
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
-Brendan Gill
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.
-Christopher Morley
Life is just one damned thing after another.
-Elbert Hubbard
It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
-John Lennon
The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold then in the right scale of values.
-Norman Thomas
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
-Oscar Wilde
Subject: Mankind
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
-Mahatma Gandhi
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.
-Samuel Johnson
And to finish it all off:
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-Anatole France
I never have found the perfect quote. At best I have been able to find a string of quotations which merely circle the ineffible idea I seek to express.
-Caldwell O'Keefe
I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.
-Marlene Dietrich
He wrapped himself in quotations- as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors. (ouch)
-Rudyard Kipling
and finally:
A witty saying proves nothing.
-Voltaire