I am a kewl guy with a fast car. I can take you for a ride (if you're a girl).
Just send your measurements to me and I'll come and pick you up!
Satisfaction guaranteed!
Missed a date. She didn't show up. And I had spent over 2 hours polishing the car! The fukker doesn't deserve a date!
Almost knocked a guy unconsious on work today. I got mad over a bolt that didn't come lose as it should and had to bang it with the spanner. After one or two blows this guy popped up his head and wonders what was happening. Good thing he had his hard hat on. He has to change it now.
I went to a screening of Star Wars Episode 2 today. It was super. There were so many cool effects that really blows your mind. Lasers and phasers and guns and stuff. And Princess Leia. What wouldn't I give to screw her?
I invented a new game today. It's called synchronized door.
The rules are quite simple: try to hit as many as you can. Maybe I will someday write down all the rules but here are two variants:
1) Walk through a door but stop just before dropping the door and wait until you can drop it so someone gets it in the face.
2) Get them on the rebound. This one is used when you meet the opponent.
Almost hit a rabbit on the way to work. Got it on the way back. That one or a cousin I don't know, they all look the same to me.
The fukker got all greasy on my bumper. I had a date but got late because the cleaning work. Let me put it this way: he had it coming. Maybe I should get a shotgun as they don't need as much cleaning.
Got a shotgun. Drove to the woods and shot some cans. The old days in the service are coming back. Maybe I should get an automatic? I could be a rabbits' serial killer that way. Like a morning drive by with rabbit catsup by the road. It would give the guys late for work something to talk about.
"Did you see the blood by the road on the way here? A serial killer I bet! Let's pray he's not in the factory"!
What they don't know is that he is working on the same shift...
Pushed a small guy into the bushes. He almost hit me, bicycling by, so I yelled at him. He started yelling back and cycled passed me again. At just the right moment I pushed him so he landed in the bushes. I believe he hurt himself. But do I feel sorry for him? Noo.
I have found a new way of taking pictures. You know the stores where all the developed film is in a bin, open for taking. One is supposed to find one's photos and then proceed to the counter to pay. So I did. But I don't have any camera! So to me it's is like a birthday present, I get home and hope there is some nice babes on.
This fukker has just found a way to see films for free. He sees so many movies, I bet he downloads them on Kazaa for free! And then he says they are bad because tits are visible. Guess he doesn't get much from his old lady.
These people really gave me a good laugh.
