Notice!!! Anyone under the height of 1.6m are not allowed. Pregnant ladies, people with heart problems, lung cancer etc... are advised to keep away. Thank you!
1. Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
2. Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?
I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months.
3. Judge to defendant: Aren't you ashamed, coming here for the third time?
Defendant: Well, you come every day.
4. Why did the man wear a wet shirt?
Because the shirt's label said: Wash and wear.
5. Q: Which city is trying to get rid of its mad people?
A: Madrid..... MAD.. RID (got it!!)
6. A teacher was testing the young student's intelligence.
"When is your birthday dear?", asked the teacher to his six-year old.
"22nd February", said the child.
"What year my dear?" Asked the teacher.
"Every year", said the child with a smile.
7. Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone dead?
Sunny: Yes All of them
8. Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Opportunity.
Can't be.
Why Not?
Opportunity knocks only once.
9. Q: What is the best place to go to when you are dying?
A: The living room.
10. Q: When can 60 people stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
A: When it isn't raining.
11. Raju: How many sides does a circle have?
Ravi: A circle does not have any side.
Raju: Yes, it does, the inside and the outside.
12. Q: Why are doctors and lawyers never perfect?
A: Because they are always practising.
13. What happened to the short sighted circumsizer?
He got the sack...
14. What did the tomato say to the lettuce?
Nothing! Tomatoes don't talk...
15. An american business was in Japan. He hired a local hooker who kept screaming "Fujifoo!" The next day, he was golfing with his jap counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress his clients, he shouted,"Fujifoo!" The jap clients looked confused and said, "No, no, no... you got the right hole."
16. Q:A farmer had a gun which had a range of 1m. Yet, despite the fact that he was standing 100m away from the bird, he managed to shoot it down. Why?
A: Cause the gun was 99m long.
17. While on a visit to new york, a Malaysian decides to visit Ground Zero. Spotting the Local Chief, he takes the opportunity to pass on his admiration and support for their excellent work. "Well, thank you very much," replies the fireman. "So where do u hail from?" he asked. "Kuala Lumpur", the man replied. "And what state is it in?" enquired the Fire Chief. "Oh-pretty much the same as this."
18. What is the best way to kill a bird?
Throw it off a cliff.
19. What is the best way to kill a fish
Drown it.
20. Boy 1: Hey... where are the rest?
Boy 2:Oh... I think they are resting.
Nikhil's classic
21. Two sweets were walking down a street. One of them was salty.... *U are supposed to laugh now*
22. Why didnt the elephant wear his boxers during a boxing match?
Cause he has his own trunk...
23. What time is it when a elephant sits on your chair?
Its time to buy a new chair.
24. Why did the librarian fall in the library?
Cause he was in the non-friction section.
Note: Dislamer act: The owner shall not be responsible for any damages caused to the reader. Such as "banging of head on table" or "flipping over of chair". Readers are reminded to read at your own risk. Oh... and one more thing. Anyone who resemble any character in this pge, dead or alive, is purely coincidental. (Like it has any connection.. but who cares).
